Legion World Forums LEGION OUTPOST Mission Monitor Board The Moaning, Groaning, I just want to Vent thread

Yesterday I had to say goodbye to my companion of 15 years - Ace. He was a great traveler and excellent in the classroom. He also was a 7 lb terror when there was food around.



This morning was hard.

So sorry to hear that, Andy.

That's rough Andy. So sorry.

Thanks. You guys are the best.

So sorry, Andy.

The money was good, but Lake City, SC to Ohio, to Portland, OR, back to South Carolina in 11 days in a truck that only does 65. Places out there were the speed limit is 80 and I had people cutting in front of me by mere feet on clear interstates because they were pissed they had to go around.. Okay, go ahead. And when you have a blowout right in front of me and I've no time to react, enjoy being a piece of road pizza in hell, fucking assholes.

Reminds me of a whole bunch of horrible drivers back in Manila. Sorry Rick, that sounds incredibly frustrating.

So many drivers have simply no idea how much room a truck needs to stop. Credit to truckies that there aren't more road statistics than there are.

That's why I say people should have to re-qualify every three years. Re-take the written at least. It's like High School, they learn it long enough to pass the test and then they forget it.

I just feel so frustrated, so helpless about everything. And I'm barely clinging to my last bit of hope.

I want to believe that bad people always get what's coming to them in the end, but I see too much of the opposite to have peace of mind.

And, yes, I do believe that some people are just plain bad. I've struggled for my entire adult life with a low amount of empathy. And every time I think I finally have enough empathy to get by, I get a new challenge.

I think I'll go pound on a pillow and imagine certain characters (both fictional and real) getting brutally beaten.

My days, half the time I'm just doing my thing and then it's wishing God would just kill me because of how badly things are getting and I can't fix it. I get you.

(NO, I am not having suicidal thoughts)

Thank you, Sarky. And I'm not feeling suicidal either. There's a big difference between a person wanting the Earth to open up and swallow them (as I feel frequently, including right now,) and a person wanting to end their life by their own hand.

Thanks again, Sarky.

I get that, Sarky, Ann. I was depressed for several years until a bit ago. Not the crippling depression of some,but still. I can't tell you how to get out of it, but I can say that sometimes, you have to stick it out. I started looking at the little things. My kid asking me to watch cooking shows with him. My wife's smile when I get home from the road. The happy look on my mother's face when I get in, my special needs sister as well. Even my dog being happy to see me. I started to build on it. And, to be honest, I cut out watching the news, politics, things that I had no control over but always felt depressed about. in short, I cut myself a break. I was always harder on me than anyone else could even think about being.

I don't know if it wont come back. From what I understand, the odds are better than average that it will. so, I'm trying to adopt a "such is life" attitude.

Big, big hugs.

I stopped following the news from the Philippines a long time ago, and I've stopped checking Facebook and its horrible comments. Too many conservative, cruel, dismissive, arrogant idiots from there. It's helped a lot.

I used to daydream a lot, back when I was still there and life was much sadder. I don't do it anymore.

Hope things get better for all.

I just don't know what to do because even when I get one thing fixed there's still so much like the water damaged in the basement hallway and in the basement itself and I don't even wanna guess what nightmare awaits in the backyard, toolshed and garage but I know I can't keep putting it off and I just wish this guy would move in downstairs to start the repairs before things get worse

I've been quite frustrated with my health lately and the things I can't do because of it. Somedays I just decide to ignore it and push through anyway but that always leads to disaster and a physical crash.

This morning I managed to turn my viewpoint around. There are always things we can't do. No-one gets to do everything they want. My situation may not be ideal but it is only bad in comparison to how I think it SHOULD be. If I look at my situation as challenges and opportunities that most people don't get or face, the chance to try out different ways of living, overcoming each days challenge in its own right, then it all looks and feels much more positive.

Dunno if it will last but it's a viewpoint I am trying anyway. No idea if that helps anyone.

Somebody said "Comparison is the death of happiness". A trap I fall into all too often. Your post's a good reminder of that!

Thanks, everybody! I'm feeling better after getting all that out of my system.

I especially agree with Rick's observation about treasuring the little things in life. So true.

I cried today on the way home from work after this day just... finally felt like too much.

Crying is good. Crying is healthy. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Certainly healthier than keeping it all bottled up!

Hang in there Sarcky. You're not alone. We can't fix your problems for you but we can tell you that you are not alone.
And I agree, crying can be helpful. Happened to me this year too, a little while back.

As a child, one of my favorite cartoons was the reruns of "George of the Jungle."

The one time I didn't like it was when Super Chicken took a hard blow to the head and developed amnesia. And his sidekick, Fred, exchanged costumes with Super Chicken to try to catch the villain. Almost all my anxieties and neuroses about unstable identities are rooted in that segment of Super Chicken. The producers really should have vetoed that script. A lot of supposedly "harmless" cartoons and comic books I saw as a kid disturbed me deeply. To allow that stuff to be seen by kids under 12 is tantamount to child abuse, in my opinion. A lot of the people who created that crap must have been really bitter and hated children.

You'd think that at my age, I'd have let go of this stuff a long time ago, but...I haven't.

But at least I'm fully aware of my problem.

Hopefully that means I'll get some closure someday before I die.

Things that we experienced as kids is often the hardest to get past as it forms so much of how we view the world around us. Later we can rationalise elements of it but changing the emotional foundation can be very difficult. Being aware of the incidents is a big step to at least being able to control how much it influences our lives today.

So no I don't think it's surprising that you haven't let go of this stuff. I think your attitude is very appropriate and you are trying to deal with it as best you can. That's a real positive.

Thank you, Stile.