Legion World Forums LEGION OUTPOST Mission Monitor Board thoth probs

Me doing my best Gloria Swanson in "Sunset Boulevard":

"The cats are big, it's the people that got small!"

Fortunately for Palmer, he's brought the one thing more fun than squirming live , bleeding prey... string!


Comic fans note that the top of the Atom brings us another Time Pool story. Having mistakenly used the cat bowl as a swimming pool in Cramer's post, our six intrepid Pif explorers find themselves on another atom sized adventure!

Ahhh Atom... terrorized by pets

it's really just superheroes that are getting smaller. Normal folks are no match for cats, so they go for the super powered now. Cats can keep 2 to 3 Palmer sized heroes in a pocket for play time.

"Cats with pockets?" I hear you say. You know all those folks who bought Onesies? That's just a cat experiment to try out different fur fashions on a larger scale. And that's just the start of the Cosmic Cat Conspir...oh, wait my nurse has just arrived with my morning catnip pills...

This cover illustrates a common problem faced by human slaves. By all means, miniaturise birds of prey with Pym Particles; trap the Gods of the Microverse and build robot planes. But don't show more than *one* of them to your cat overlord at any one time. Let them focus, and get full enjoyment out of destroying them, one at a time.If you present all three, they will soon become jaded and all of your work will have been for nothing. Worse, you will have a bored cat and that will only lead to bloodshed. Namely yours.

Call me a turncoat, but I've never been happier than under the tyranny of the Catpeople of Galaxy 9. With my sweepstakes treasure chest win, I can afford to give them the bestest cat treats.

Katie Cat is helping thoth catch up with his ever-growing pile of correspondence.

The secret of who has actually been putting up all these posts is revealed....

Now we have to go and analyze which posts are thoth's and which posts are Katie Cat's.

They're nearly all done by cats. Sometimes we let our pet human prod the keyboard with its clumpy fingers for a misspelled bit of fun.

"Either we both walk out of here -- or neither of us does!"

That would be neither then. Fortunately a passer by heard Hank Pym's final words, and they made for a fine epitaph.

What's that you say? "What of the story title?"

The "My Wife -- The Killer!" title refers to a certain Mr Tiddles of 890 Fifth Avenue. Mr Tiddles was being interviewed by Cat Tales Magazine and went on to say "Why, she's probably out there right now slaughtering miniaturised humans even as we sit here by the fire with bowls of cream. And when she brings them back...I had to clean bits of Ray Palmer off the walls last week..."

Fresh with the success of catnip, brave volunteers try out other plant related things. Shocking results but at least kitty is safe. Mandrake was, alas, taken out by a paw swipe moments after this cover pic was taken.

Forget your cyborgs and your robots! Bio-grafts is where it's at. his guy has got two cats replacing his leg! He's faster and meaner, but his leg goes to sleep for 14 hours a day.

Nathan had to kill two enemy agents to get to the cat. An accidental swift turn of his head had blinded another three with his jacket collar.

But the unique Jade Snugglecat would be his. Wait! what's that on its side? number 77?of a set of 100. Made for Dario Argento's mummy "homage": Attack of the Jade Mummycats.

Damn Italian inspired-by movies. That explained why the museum building was so gorgeous. Why he'd had to fight a random serial killer in the lobby, as dodgy electronic music played loudly.

Laser fire from enemy agents began to find its range behind Nathan. His weak spot. Anything behind that collar where he couldn't see. He should never have bought it from '80's Nightwing.

With no exits, Nathan turned with an ironic smile on his face. Trapped in a fake set, the man lifted directly from a dozen movies, made his last stand.


Also in this issue! Legs (Don't call me Sigourney, for legal reasons) Weaver says "My legs have special powers! They go all the way from the floor to my waist!"

Next issue! Nathan says "These museum walls are made from cardboard!"

Cat even more inscrutable in Russian, but probably wants to eat duck.