Legion World Forums LEGION COMPANION The Anywhere Machine Depression Support Thread

We have threads in this forum for Dieters and Poor Sleepers. Is it okay if we have one where we can talk about depression?

In brief, Valentine's Day depresses me more than any other holiday. For reasons I haven't quite figured out yet, it's stinging especially strong this year. And the last few days leading up to now have been no picnic either. On Monday, I had meant to catch up and comment with lots of Legion World stuff from last week, but days later, I've barely scratched the surface.

The weird thing is, at the same time, I've been filling up my sketchbook like there's no tomorrow. And it's mostly good stuff, even to my self-critical eye.

So...can't quite make heads or tails of anything at the moment. But it helps to be able to share. Thank you, Legion Worlders.

I feel the same way about Easter. Thanksgiving I know why that holiday pisses me off, but I've never felt comfortable around Easter and I don't know why.

Big hugs, both of you.

I don't think I'm clinically depressed (I have a psychology degree and remember enough to know to be cautious about diagnoses!), and I certainly don't want to diminish the experiences of those who do. But I did find myself suddenly bursting into tears on the street last night. Partly because it was Valentines' Day. Just knowing that it was, and that I'm currently single, was enough. I didn't even see any Valentines' Day ads or any clingy couples or gaudy storefronts. It's not even celebrated much here in the Netherlands (imagine if I had been in the USA or the Philippines!)

That being said, if I reacted that way, I can just imagine how much worse it could be for someone who does have clinical depression. It's so difficult - perhaps almost impossible - to control our emotions or moods, sometimes it's all we can do to control how we express them. Some people have friends, others have sports. I think we creative types are lucky that we have our art and writing as a potential escape... or at least, as a way to express our emotions beautifully.

I was at the supermarket deli, and troops of dudes went by toting flowers for last-minute Valentine's Day gifts.

Feeling curmudgeonly, I naturally made up stories about each of them while I was waiting, and what their various bouquets were apologies for.

"Ah, the skinny guy with the twitchy eyes, a few simple roses to say, 'Sorry I hit on your mom.'"

"This one has filled a cart with bouquets, apparently he's shopping in bulk for his half-dozen sister-wives back home..."

"Wow, that's a *huge* bouquet. I think he snagged some flowers out of other bouquets to puff his up. Clearly he thinks it's needed, perhaps it's a 'Sorry I slept with your sister. Twice.' bouquet."

"Oh choose already. You've been haunting the display for ten minutes! How hard can it be to find a perfect bouquet for 'Sorry I got in a drunken shouting match with your dad at Christmas and now we've been disinvited from Easter dinner with your family?"

And that's pretty much how 'too old for this nonsense' me deals with Valentine's Days alone, making fun of those who are still in the game.

I'm seriously ready for some sunlight and outdoors-air, about now, to break out of my own seasonal funk. I've about had enough of this winter. Shoo, winter of my discontent!

Ahhh depression sucks. Yes, Ann, you are not alone.

Valentine's is not my holiday - never has been. I barely notice it. I don't go out to eat or go to the movies on that day.

Sorry you're going through that. And, Ibby, I didn't realize you were single.

Hugs.

Thanks, Myg well, my great love story ended, with Blaze back home and me in Amsterdam.

Another reason to hate Valentines' Day, and the unrealistic expectations that Disney movies and romantic comedies give

I am over it now though, no bitterness. Wine helps, as does the fairly rich field of prospects here.

Hugs to all. Love all the mutual support

Sarky, Ibby, Set, Andy,

Thanks and love to all of you. It's so comforting to know we're here for each other.

As a kid I got depressed on holidays. Kinda common from what I understand. Now, life' s just kinda gray when it comes to that type of thing. But, family makes it much better.

Thanks, Rick.

I agree with you to some extent about family. I will always consider myself very fortunate to have the parents I have. And there are several people in my mom's extended family I'm close to. My father's family, the less said the better, except for my first cousins and my aunt, who is the only one "past a certain age" that tells it like is.

No brothers or sisters here. I often wonder how I'd have turned out with siblings.

"Good times, for a change..."

Yesterday, I overcame my anxieties, my doubts, my nerves, and my general misanthropy, and went to a free social gathering at my local branch library. It was an adult ladies' coloring party. There were snacks, there was music, there was fun to be had, and most importantly, there was the company of people who seemed sincere in their decency.

My lingering depression has been fully lifted...for the moment, at least.

Hopefully, the next time it darkens my doorway, I will be better equipped to deal with it. And for a change, I'm actually optimistic that *I will be.*

Right on, Ann!

I too have been working on my anxiety and depression lately. A big part of that was to cut out alcohol on the weekdays, especially when alone at home. I went to a happy hour with co-workers at my new job today, and while anxiety was still there, I was able to join the jokes and camraderie eventually.

Anxiety and depression are lifelong battles, and we just gotta keep fighting as best as we can.

That's lovely, Ann. Glad you had such a positive experience.

You too Kappa, glad you are making such progress!

Thank you, Kappa and Ibby.

Yes, we won't win all our battles, but if we fight hard and true, we'll win the war and, whenever our time is up, we'll die in peace.

Well done Ann. Depression is never easy to deal with. Great comment at the end.

Thank you, Stile. That was certainly a nice reply to wake up to.

Your life is out of your control.

Your employer can fire you at any time, for any reason. Or no reason.

Some oncoming, obscure economic disaster, of which you have no inkling, could suddenly make all your hard-earned savings worthless.

Your cell phone could spontaneously combust, and burn your house down.

The ‘security’ of your home is dependent upon thin layers of glass and plaster, easily broken.

You might be run over by a stampede of wild horses, struck by lightning, or killed by an errant asteroid.

Even a natural-born U.S. citizen could be the victim of mistaken identity, and accidentally deported to Guatemala.

Your own body could betray you. A stroke, a heart attack, or some virulent tropical disease could strike you down without warning.

Your life is out of your control.

You know this.

But you can’t believe it. You must not.

Believing your life is out of your control is a sure sign of clinical depression, which, bad as it is, can lead to even more serious mental illness.

Remaining sane, as a human being, requires you to believe something which you know to be untrue: that everything is fine. You are in control of your life.

Good luck everybody. Be safe out there.

That is the truth.

Thank you, Klar.

Have you ever looked into stoicism? It's such a wonderful philosophy. It really teaches you how to cope with what's not in your control and how to deal with things that are.

Yes. Thanks, PeterDon, for bringing up the subject of stoicism. I haven't yet read extensively on it, but I was enlightened to its qualities both on Patreon and here on Legion World.

On Patreon, an artist I support shared her thoughts on stoicism (I'm reluctant to identify her, as I don't know whether she might not want it publicized.) That was my first eye-opener.

My second eye-opener came thanks to Legion Worlder He Who Wanders, when he broached the subject during a discussion in the Legion forum:

http://www.legionworld.net/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=942493#Post942493

I really should make it a priority to find books about stoicism at the library.

And if you find that all the books on stoicism have been checked out by others from the library, remember to face this hardship by being stoi...ah, never mind...

I've been having trouble getting a decent sleep at night. I've been lying awake thinking about how much I wish I was dead, then I somehow fall asleep and wake up two hours later from stress dreams that leave me feeling uncomfortable enough I don't want to go back to sleep.

They've frequently been about Heroes in Crisis.

LOL

Umm. I'm not sure how to take this.
I read the first bit and was very concerned. Sounds like a nasty downward spiral.
Then I read the second bit and almost laughed because I thought it was a joke.
Then I thought again and wondered.
Then I saw your id and thought it was a joke again.
Now I just don't know.

Kid is your tale true or are you making a funny point?

Just wanted to pop in and say you guys are all loved. Never forget that!

Last night for work, I downloaded the new episodes of three of my comics podcasts.

Titan Up the Defense covered Defenders #50, which ended with Scorpio's suicide.

The Legion Clubhouse covered Adventure #380, which ended with the villain shooting himself in the face.

The Bronze Age Relapse covered the aftermath of Gwen Stacy's death. Thank goodness at least her actual muder was covered last week.

Keep in mind, all three of them dropped yesterday. This wasn't a backlog. Two of my comics podcasts the same day had to stop their usual light banter to talk about how serious suicide is, and how any listeners with suicidal thoughts should seek help.

A bunch of shit also went wrong at work, with two guests getting angry at me, one of whom I had to hang up on because they were shouting at me.

Imagine how badly I wish it was MY Friday, instead of calendar Friday.