Legion World Forums LEGION OUTPOST Bits o' Legionnaire Business Young Legion Book 2

Well, there were no cries of ‘Oh, please, no, no, stop, no more!’ so I’m posting again.

Original Post: Young Legion Book I

INTRODUCTION:
COSTUMES AND OTHER DISTINCTIONS

I have very distinct appearances in mind for all each of these characters, but I am a terrible artist. I don't even know where to start.
So, some extended description is in order.

(1) Saturn Girl
Dorrit Ranzz of Winath, age 16½
Red-haired and green-eyed.
Dorrit wears the green-and-yellow outfit her mother popularized in Adventure #247.
Her only concession to current fashion is a pair of yellow leggings, and she has removed the ‘Saturn Girl’ code-name emblazoned on the blouse.

(2) Lightning Lass, age 16½
Dacey Ranzz of Winath
Also a typical ginger, Dacey wears the original red lightning-emblazoned jersey and khaki jodhpurs her father wore as ‘Lightning Boy’ in Adventure #247. In a concession to current fashion, she has removed the code-name emblazoned across the chest.

(3) Cosmic Boy, age 14½
Pol Hu Krinn II of Winath
Pol very strongly resembles both his uncle and father when they were his age. He wears the original, half-armored ‘Cosmic Boy’ outfit his father wore in Adventure #247-- without the helmet, or code-name emblazoned on the chestplate.
He does, however have shirts in three colors: the original ‘pale scarlet’ (or ‘dusky rose’), a second in sapphire, and a third in lavender.

(4) Chameleon (United Planets Universal Alphanumeric Designation (UPUAD) #U0373-WV451) perhaps 15-16 years old Earth Standard, in a race that lives only 50-60 years
He has the typical appearance of the registered United Planets Durlan Default Form.
Originally presenting without clothing, (although ‘smooth’, with no evident primary or secondary sexual characteristics) he has now taken to ‘wearing’ Reep Daggle’s blue-and-white chainmail-shirt outfit.

(5, 6 ,7) The Triplicate Girls
Ffiona, Ffarrah and Ffey Ffarr of Carggg
Actual ages ll ½, but to accelerated aging due to their condition, they physically appear to be about 17.
In another year Earth-standard, they will look twenty.
The Ffarr girls are from an area of Carggg originally colonized primarily by settlers of Japanese descent. Physically, the three are virtually indistinguishable, except each has a small tattoo at the base of the neck, just below the left jugular vein. Ffiona has an interlac ‘i’, Ffarrah an ‘a’, and Ffey an ‘e’. When they merge, these tattoos form a symbol similar to the astrological sign ‘Libra’.
The girls wear outfits almost identical to Lluornu Durgo’s original purple-and-orange caped outfit. In a concession to current fashion, they have added orange leggings. Their outfits are slightly different hues: Ffarrah is more violet and gold, while Ffey wears lavender and peach.

(8) Shrinking Violet, age 14½
Eulia M’Kord (pronounced A-Ool-Yah Mik-Kord) of Orzde.
She is a big, strapping farmgirl, easily the tallest and widest of the Super Hero Club.
If anyone were to draw her, I would expect her to appear pseudo-Polynesian: Samoan, perhaps, or Maori.
She wears an outfit similar to Salu Digby’s original short-dress-with-wide-lapels, but in sky-blue, rather than Salu's chartreuse. In a concession to current fashion, she has added blue leggings.
(In the Earth-K2 paracosm, the Irulan Krill appear humanoid, but are gender-reversed. Males nurse the offspring, and thus are ‘female’-appearing. Eulia is therefore technically male, while, for example, Lalo Muldron of Imsk is technically female. (And by this time in his life, probably a proud mama.) Eulia is at present unaware of this inter-species difference, although the Winathan kids (who are aware that their ‘Aunt Salu’ is technically their uncle) and Phantom Girl do know.

(9) Phantom Girl, age 15½
Irinia Apero of Bgztl
Irinia’s appearance is based on an old college Inorganic Chemistry lab partner of mine, who was a citizen of Nigeria. He was the first black person I ever met.
Not that the was the first African-American I had ever met (he was not American). He was black. His skin was actually an pure, elegant, handsome black. Not really dark brown, but really, truly black. So black it shone with blue highlights in the mid-day sun.
Irinia has facial features similar to Terran East Africans, but her skin is deep, indigo blue, like the highlights of my friend’s skin. Her hair is tightly curled, cut short, and the colour of fine gold. Her eyes are a deep, dark, reddish-brown, and in direct sunlight glow blood-red. (My grand-daughter has eyes like this.)
She wears the original ‘Phantom Girl’ costume, all-white, with boots and cape, and the Interlac ‘P’ (a mirror-reversed ‘D|”) as a chest emblem.
Note that Bgztlrs are also not precisely Terran. Also, in her first appearances, Tinya Wazzo was depicted with pale blue skin.

(10) Ten
Txarlz Luz 5423 of Colu (Yod System), age 7½, Earth Standard.
Ten wears a simple violet-and-lavender one-piece jumpsuit, with a stylized ten of diamonds playing card emblazoned over the left breast pocket.
Aside from his green* skin, yellow sclera, and bald head, he looks like an ordinary Terran second-grader.
(He shaves his head. His hair is naturally pea-green.)
He is always accompanied by his robo-nanny, which has the appearance of a featureless silver sphere. His first nanny was named ‘Mr. Andrews’, his second, and current, is named ‘Vesta’.
(* Actually chartreuse with many teal freckles.)

(11) Polar Lass, age 15
Kylda Zimm of Tharr
She is slender, blonde and blue-eyed, a Terran of evidently Scandinavian descent. Like all Tharrans, she is small in stature; at age 14, she is not even five feet tall. She wears the traditional mauve-and-white, fur-trimmed costume of her people.
Kylda herself is rather quiet, and perhaps that is why she was attracted to Matter-Eater Lad Two’s naturally outgoing personality and effortless eccentricity.
The two face one insurmountable obstacle. Their metabolisms are wholly incompatible. Kylda is certain to someday have her heart broken, and someday wind up marrying some perfectly ordinary Tharran boy.

(12) Matter-Eater Lad Two, age 16
Hillarie Norjay of Bismoll
Were you to take a time machine, and bring young Tenzil Kem and Hillarie Norjay together, they would seem virtually identical, both in costume and countenance, with the exception that Hillarie would be about six inches taller, and proportionally more slim.
As Hillarie is about a foot taller than Kylda, they make quite a couple.
(Note: If Tenzil Kem had not eaten the Miracle Machine, it is almost certain that Bismoll would not exist, as Bismollian physiology is an intersection of several unlikely simultaneous mutations. Just the sort of thing you would expect from a release of the Miracle Machine’s Infinitely Improbabilistic energies. Yes, I know, causaility, yadda yadda yadda. Well, Infinite Improbability and Quantum, so there.)

CHAPTER SIXTY-ONE
A PIRATE’S LIFE FOR ME

Res-Vir, captain of the pirate ship Renegade, looked more the corporate C.E.O. than a pirate captain. His strawberry-blonde hair was slightly streaked with silver, his hairline slightly receding. He was broad and fit-looking, but also broadening a bit too much at the waist. His prized three-piece suit, woven of the best Daxamite wool, was three or four years out of fashion.

He looked over what remained of his motley crew.

Bal Kozz, the "First Mate": tall, slender, bearded, cat-eyed Daxamite mutant. His mutation caused him to be isolated at school, which probably led to his utter lack of concern for the feelings of others-- contempt, in fact, for feelings in general, seen as a sign of weakness.

Adah Orion, called “Huntress”. The half-Daxamite grand-daughter of Otto Orion. Adah's father is deceased. Adah’s mother is serving life imprisonment on Penitentiary Island on Daxam for brutally murdering him.

Tulip Gor-Man, who likes to be called “Daximus”, a massive, eight-foot-plus, wide-bodied, full bellied, with hands like dinner plates. Bald from the ears up; his hair fringe hung in dreadlocks down his back. Impulsive, not a deep thinker, he was not really stupid, but tried very hard to remain willfully ignorant. His gray lips and sunken eyes betrays an addition to Pigment, which he thinks is a secret. His blatant lust for Adah Orion is entirely unreciprocated-- at least publicly.

Ir-Ving: Young, blue-eyed and brunette, mostly nondescript for a Daxamite, although notably his left ear was burned off in an altercation with another band of pirates.

Kefaz Sa-Yir: "Navigator", “Computer Operator”, and all-around tech handyman. Slight of build, babyfaced, a mathematical genius, really the only truly intelligent one on board besides the captain, in Res-Vir's opinion. Rev-Vir also suspected him of being a Darseidist, but was not very concerned about it. Piracy and Darkseidism went together on Daxam like bread and butter.

There was also “The Psion”, whose name sounded something like “Hiss”-- but then, so did all the other Psion names. Always space-suited, except in his cabin, Res-Vir considered him no more trustworthy than the Dominators, which was not at all. However, he was needed to formulate and reformulate the anti-lead serum that made their chosen profession possible.

“Revenge,” said Gor-Man. “Simple revenge. I say we go to Mars, find that Little Legion, and smash ‘em to pulp.”

“I would point out,” said Kefaz Sa-Yir, “That the Little Legion is no longer on Mars. No one knows where they are. They haven’t been seen for seven tendays. Perhaps someone else has smashed them into pulp for us.”

“Well, we gotta find ‘em,” said Gor-Man, “And if they’re not smashed already, we smash ‘em. And if they're dead, we dance on their corpses.”

“In the first place,” said Kefaz Sa-Yir, “Without the kryptonite Gol-Ber was getting for us, we are not smashing anybody anytime soon. The artificial stuff The Psion has been whippin up is devilishly tricky; that last batch of serum had me heaving my guts out. In the second place, until we can get the life support in this boat up and running reliably, we need to stay within point-oh-one parsecs of a yellow star, or we suffocate in space. That makes traveling difficult.”

“And in the third place,” said Bal Kozz, “Where’s the percentage? We kill the Legion. We kill the Mars SP. We kill a hundred thousand more, just for the sprock of it. Then what? We’re still broke, with a broken-down ship, barely making ends meet selling hyper-cannabinol on the black market.” He shuddered. “Oh, for the days when a pirate’s life was easy, and there were plenty of chickens to pluck.”

“We gotta keep ‘em afraid of us,” said Gor-Man. “Makes life easier, right? Keep 'em thinking, 'The Daxamites are coming, let’s pile up all our valuables outside the door, and maybe they’ll go away.'”

“When was life ever like that?” Res-Vir asked. “Daxam isn’t scared of us. Rokyn isn’t scared of us. Neither are Kormo, or Colu, or Zuun. Bgztl and Imsk have developed some pretty effective anti-Daxamite weapons, and they’re spreading throughout the U.P. I hear Phlon and Myar are in a race to see who can finish their anti-anti-lead-serum-gas first.”

The Psion slithered over to the pirate crew.

“I have a distant associate,” he said, “who has had some luck with extract of Scarlet Jungle Blood Morel from Rokyn. An entirely different approach. Properly compounded, it has proved an effective antidote to lead poisoning among some Daxamites. Contraindications of hyperactivity and insomnia have been noted, but there are sedatives that could ameliorate those.”

“Rokyn?” snapped Huntress. “How do you expect us to get to Rokyn? First we need cash to fix this bucket of bolts.”

“I only suggest,” said The Psion, “That a fraction of the next sales of hyper-cannabinol might be put to use purchasing a sample from my associate. Then put some cash towards Life Support Repair, then eventually we find our way to the Malhaya quadrant, for a complete overhaul.”

“That would take more than one sale,” said Huntress. “And it will take time, unless you have found a way to speed up the manufacturing process.”

“Sadly, no,” said The Psion.

“What we need is a new angle,” said Res-Vir. “Another way to raise cash. Something else else no one else has thought of before. Somewhere the market isn’t saturated with pirates already.”

The group was silent, each lost in thought.

“I still like Revenge,” said Gor-Man.

“Oh, shut up,” said Bal Kozz.

I wish I could draw, too, but your descriptions are vivid enough to create good mental images.

And then...? Pirates of Penzance? These guys sound a bit like the League of Substitute Pirates and all the more charming for that.

Heh. Legion of Substitute Pirates. Yep. Piracy is a hard life, much less romantic than sometimes portrayed. They'll show up again in about twenty chapters.

Meanwhile:

CHAPTER SIXTY-TWO
THE RETURN

Chameleon and the Triplicate Girls were the first ones back on Mars. They had, after all, nowhere else to go.

The Super Hero Clubhouse was a mess. Any building abandoned for more than a few weeks quickly falls into disrepair. There were birds nesting inside, and a sort of badger-thing, doubtless originally from Earth, but which seemed to have quickly adapted to the Martian environment.

Shrinking Violet and Phantom Girl came next. Shrinking Violet’s parents were proud of her association with the Legion, and Phantom Girl had other reasons to be on Mars-- or at least, near Gzbk.

Matter-Eater Lad Two and Polar Lass arrived a few days later. They were snogging and canoodling (am I allowed to use those words?) in front of the Clubhouse when Ten came running up from the parking lot with his Adult Guardian.

Renlo Tagor cleared his throat in a very human manner.

“I am leaving him once again in your care,” said Renlo Tagor. “He has learned much with you which he could not have learned any other way.”He turned to Ten. “Good-bye, Inscio, try not to get into too much trouble.” He strolled away.

“Inscio?” said Matter-Eater Lad Two. “Did he really call you that?”

“It is a term of endearment,” said the female voice of Vesta, Ten’s new ‘nanny-bot’. She looked remarkably like Mr. Andrews, a plain, shiny floating sphere.

“I know what it means,” said Matter-Eater Lad Two. “All Bismolleans take Latin in Grammar School. Neque me esuriit,” he quoted. Tu velim a me, cum ego non esuriit. The official motto of Bismoll.”

“I think I know what you mean,” said Ten, “But I don’t think that’s quite right.”

“We have a similar saying on Orzde,” said Shrinking Violet. “‘Don’t make us angry; you wouldn’t like us when we’re angry.’ It’s not an official motto or anything, just good advice when dealing with Orzdeans.”

Phantom Girl came running out of the clubhouse, and grabbed Ten in a bear hug. “Wow! You have gotten so big!” she cried. “You must have grown three centimeters since I saw you last! The Triplicates and I tidied up your room for you. We left your lab alone, though.”

“A wise precaution,” said Ten. He fished an object out of his luggage. It was the inert remains of Mr. Andrews. Vesta made a gulping sound. “My Adult Guardian suggested I keep this in a place of honor. I believe my room would be more appropriate than my laboratory?”

“Yes, I think you’re right,” said Phantom Girl. “Other than that, how was Colu?”

“Well, and good,” said Ten. “My Adult Guardian and I met with my parents, and they were satisfied with the direction and progress of my education. My Adult Guardian also feels that my association with the ‘Super Hero Club’ has allowed me unique experiences and opportunities for learning.”

“Do you see your parents a lot?” asked Phantom Girl.

“Regularly,” said Ten. “But Coluans recognize that each has his own talents and strengths, and not everyone can effectively dedicate a century or more to child-rearing. Renlo Tagor is a well-respected Adult Guardian, even if, or perhaps particularly because, he has some unorthodox ideas about what constitutes a proper education. Our recent adventure has even increased his stature, as it allowed him to interact with Brainiac Five and his Guardian. Have you been to visit the Wazzos since you got back?”

“Yes,” said Phantom Girl, flushing. “They have had me to dinner a couple of times. They really are nothing like the doppelgangers we knew on mirror-Tharn. If anything, I lo- appreciate them more than ever.”

Ten nodded solemnly, but with the trace of a smile.

It was another week before Cosmic Boy, Lightning Lass, and Saturn Girl finally arrived. They came in a cab, and looked worn out.

“We need to have a meeting,” said Saturn Girl.

“Well, tomorrow is Tyresday,” said Ffiona. “No better time.”

CHAPTER SIXTY-THREE
BUDGET PROBLEMS

“Our parents are even more opposed to this venture than they were originally,” said Saturn Girl.

“And by ‘our parents’, she means, ‘her mother’,” said Cosmic Boy.

“That’s not fair,” said Lightning Lass. “I didn’t see your parents standing up to defend us.”

“There was a HUGE fight,” said Saturn Girl. “In order to induce us to stay on Winath, they took away our Runabout. We had to get here the hard way, on a transport.”

“Just like the rest of us,” said Ffey.

“I didn’t mean it that way,” said Saturn Girl. “It’s just… we will have to rely on public transportation to get into town. Or anywhere now, really.”

“Ronin has a landspeeder,” said Phantom Girl, “Which I’m sure he would let us use in a pinch. Of course, he lives a few hours away, so it’s really not that convenient.”

“And we could have food pods and stuff delivered,” said Ffarrah. “Like normal people.”

“‘Normal’ is a funny word,” said Lightning Lass. “We have an embarrassment of Farmer’s Markets on Winath.”

“At any rate, a lot of things are going to be more expensive,” said Saturn Girl. “Dacey, Pol and I threatened to sell our shares in Lightning Ring Farms, and finance the Club with the cash. They talked us out of it. Mom yelled a lot; but our Dad and Pol’s Dad made a lot of sense, though.”

“Yeah, but they were right,” said Pol. “Do we really want to end up like the Daggle kids? Trust fund babies who were living the high life, but now have just a little less to live on each year, while Brande Industries is dying, being sold off piecemeal.”

“They do keep their names in the newsfeeds,” said Fey. “And publicity isn’t necessarily a bad thing. We haven’t had kids breaking down our doors for tryouts recently.”

“Speaking of tryouts,” said Ffarrah, “What about Mass Master? Will he be joining us, or is his status even clear?”

“Ted’s dads have enrolled him in the SP Youth Military Academy,” said Pol. “They feel that’s the best place for him to get good training. They’ve even had some experience with metahumans over the years.”

“Oh,” said Ffarrah. “Too bad.”

“I would like to point out,” said Ten, “That the Stipend abides, and while we were ‘cooling our heels’ on Tharn-- or mirror-Tharn-- regular deposits were being made into everyone’s accounts.”

“And each of us spent a large part of that windfall,” said Shrinking Violet, “On one-way passage back here to Mars.”

“I guess this would be the wrong time,” said Ten, “to talk about Flight Belts.”

“I suppose they were all left behind,” said Saturn Girl. “But I’m not sure we have the funds to rebuild them just yet. We have taxes coming due on this property.”

“It can’t be!” said Shrinking Violet. “Has it been six months already? And we would be paying taxes on property we don’t even own yet.”

“Satisfying the tax liens is part of the process of Homesteading,” said Saturn Girl. “And yes, in a couple of weeks, it will have been six months. Now, we all hold the deed in common, the twelve of us. It might be easier if we incorporated, and sold shares, but that’s the way it is for now. If one of us wanted out, the others could buy their interest, but it’s complicated. It’s what we get for keeping ourselves unofficial.”

“I think the benefits of keeping it unofficial outweigh the complications,” said Ten. “But you all know my opinion. As a minor, I really can’t own property, so it’s really the eleven of you that own this little site. I just live here.”

“I think,” said Shrinking Violet, “That we ought to have monthly dues, paid into a joint checking account, to pay for stuff like taxes, and weekly supplies, and building new Flight Belts, if we want them.”

“I certainly want one,” said Polar Lass. “The old one had my ultraphone and warming belt built into it.”

“Professor Leitseid shipped all the belts to Colu,” said Ten. “I brought them with me. Although to be honest, it will cost nearly as much to repair them as to build them again new. Lord M. really seems to take out his frustrations on inanimate objects.”

“I propose,” said Saturn Girl, “That we go into town, establish a joint checking account, and make Shrinking Violet our Treasurer. She seems the most qualified.”

“Qualified? Me?” asked Shrinking Violet. “Why?”

“Good attention to small details,” said Saturn Girl.

CHAPTER SIXTY-FOUR
DATE NIGHT: THE PHANTOMS OF THE OPERA

“I met your parents,” Ten told Phantom Girl. “On Weber’s World. They are interesting people. My Adult Guardian and I spoke with them for some time.”

“They tried to convert Coluans?” said Phantom Girl. “Unbelievable.”

“Convert?” said Ten. “If you mean, we discussed your religious beliefs…”

“Not my religious beliefs,” said Phantom Girl.

“You are not also Quotidian?” asked Ten. “What I heard of their philosophy seemed quite reasonable. That the ordinary, mundane activities of life, pursued with proper mindfulness, gives meaning to life.”

“Not exactly,” said Phantom Girl. “It supposedly allows one to transcend life, to rise above the meaninglessness of existence, to become one with Quod. No, I’m no follower of Quotidianism. I’m kind of more a “Minister’s daughter”; more of the Rumspringa type. I’m sure my parents suspect, but if they knew the details of what I do on the weekends-- listening to loud music, dancing past midnight, riding around in fast cars… well, one fast car, anyway. I even kissed a boy! They would be mortified.”

“Those seem like perfectly small-q quotidian activities,” said Ten. “They are forbidden under your parents philosophy? That seems a logical non sequitur... it does not follow. Perhaps I misunderstand.”

“Yes, it’s not Philosophy, it’s Religion,” said Phantom Girl. “And ‘non sequiturs’ are as common in Religion as dust. Calvin, for example, believed that God does not punish the wicked, or reward the guilty, but assigns souls to Heaven or Hell based on his ineffable pleasure. And yet, the original Calvinism was one of the strictest, most Draconian systems-- both for its believers, and non-believers.”

“There is a certain logic to that,” said Ten. “If the gods will not punish the wicked, and you believe the wicked are in need of punishment, then I suppose you would need to do it yourself, yes? In attempting small talk, I seem to have lost the thread of my purpose in coming to speak to you.”

“Well, um, Religion is one of the things Humans tend to exclude from ‘small talk’, despite my parents’ example,” said Phantom Girl. “Also, Politics and Money.”

“I will make a note of it,” said Ten. “I am uncertain how to make this segue. My Adult Guardian has suggested that in order to better understand Terran culture, I ought to attend the opera. The Rabe City Opera Company is well-regarded. He suggested I invite you and Ronin Nah to accompany me. Perhaps this weekend?”

Phantom took out her ultraphone, and texted a quick message to Ronin. “What are they performing?” she asked.

“A classic by the late-nineteenth century composer ‘Terrytoons’,” said Ten. “A production called ‘Mighty Mouse’.”

“Could Arna come, too?” asked Phantom Girl. “That would make it a foursome.”

“I am sure my Adult Advisor would be willing to purchase tickets for the four of us,” said Ten. “And dinner beforehand, as well, I believe.”

“OK, it’s a date,” said Phantom Girl. “Ronin and Arna will pick us up at the Clubhouse this Honosday, mid-afternoon, then take us out to Rabe City. He said he would like to pick out the place to eat, if you don’t mind.”

“I will make the arrangements with my Adult Guardian,” said Ten.

Phantom Girl wore her Phantom Girl costume, complete with flowing white cape. Ronin and Arna were dressed similarly, their outfits a gift from their mother. Ronin’s outfit was more of an ecru shade, while Arna’s was a pearlescent opal. Ten seemed to have only a single jumpsuit, which he wore day and night.

The trip to Rabe City was surprisingly quick. While Ronin's landspeeder was only ordinarily only capable of Mach-point-two, he was able to drop into the Phantom Zone, which allowed them to make much better time. Either distances were shorter in the Phantom Zone, or time moved differently.

Ronin had picked a nice Thai Fusion place, and they even had the Agar gelatin dessert that was an acceptable substitute for Coluan Nutritive Paste.

The audience was as interested in the four friends-- three caped ‘phantoms’, a Coluan, and Vesta-- as they were in the opera. Ronin and Irinia sat next to one another, naturally, and Ten and Arna uncomfortably did the same.

“Do you think it was historically based,” asked Phantom Girl afterwards.

“There are Felinoid planets in in the Sirius sector,” said Ten, “But I never heard of any with a history of attempting conquest and domination of other worlds.”

“Well, they wouldn’t, would they, not with 'Mighty Mouse' around,” said Phantom Girl. “Imagine him in our Club!”

“Mom told us that when she in the Legion, they teamed up with super-intelligent animals with Daxamite-like powers from the past,” said Arna. “A dog, a cat, and a gorilla, I think.”

“And a horse,” said Ronin. “There was definitely a Kryptonian horse. I’m pretty sure no mice, though.”

They got back to the Clubhouse around midnight.

“Can you give me a tour?” Arna asked Ten.

“Oh, uh, sure,” hesitated Ten. They walked to the Clubhouse, leaving Ronin and Phantom Girl in the car.

“They need a little privacy, you know,” said Arna. “To say ‘good-night’, right?”

“Ah,” said Ten. “Yes. Romeo and Juliet. The balcony scene.”

“You’re smarter than you look,” said Arna.

The only ones still in the Clubhouse were the three Founders, Ffiona and Ffarrah, and Shrinking Violet.

“Aren’t you a little old for him?” Lightning Lass teased.

“Ten and I have a lot in common,” said Arna. “He’s seven years old, Earth-Standard, and I’m seven years old, Martian-Standard.”

“Really?” said Saturn Girl. “You’re tall for your age.”

“My folks moved from Bgztl to Gzbk right after I was born,” said Arna. “I grew up in low-gravity.”

“In a little while, you’ll be old enough to join the team as a second Phantom Girl,” Cosmic Boy noted.

“I don’t think so,” said Arna. “Mom talks a lot about the Legion, and it doesn’t seem like a Bgztlr was very useful. What with Supergirl, Superboy, and Mon-El, and with other kids throwing around enough energy to crack an asteroid…”

“Well, we don’t have anyone of that level on the team,” said Cosmic Boy.

“And a Bgztlr is valuable in close, hand-to-hand combat,” said Ten. “If an opponent has a shield, or armor, a Bgztlr can phase right through with a well-aimed punch.”

“Oh, surely the Legion didn’t go around randomly punching people,” said Arna. “Getting into fights? They didn’t, did they?”

“Maybe you should ask your Mom,” said Saturn Girl.

“Oh, I do not want to get her started talking about the Legion,” said Arna. “Her stories always end with a moral. Or, they end up about how she met Dad. Mush!”

“Let’s go see the others,” said Ten.

Ffarrah and Shrinking Violet were sharing a midnight snack in the back of the Clubhouse, while Ffiona looked on disapprovingly.

“You’re an Imskian, right?” Arna asked Shrinking Violet.

“Let me tell you how to tell an Imskian from an Orzdean. Imskians have green eyes, will join in a fist-fight for the pure fun of it, and don’t hold grudges,” said Shrinking Violet. “Orzdeans have blue eyes, and we fight to win.”

“And do Orzdeans hold grudges?” asked Arna.

“Against who?” asked Shrinking Violet.

Arna thought about this.

“Arna, we need to go,” Ronin called from the front of the Clubhouse.

“Do you have a curfew?” asked Ffiona.

“Dad and Mom’s rule is: ‘Don’t stay out so late that we have to give you a curfew.’,” said Arna. “It’s Honosday night, so they’ll cut us some slack. But we probably do need to be getting home.”

“She seems nice,” said Ffiona. “Tell us all about tonight.”

“Let Ten go to his room, and get to bed,” said Phantom Girl, “and I’ll tell you all about it.”

CHAPTER SIXTY-FIVE
DATE NIGHT: HERRINGBONE DAY

Matter-Eater Lad Two and Polar Lass began the night in her quarters.

“It’s just no use,” said Polar Lass. “I’m sorry. Your hands are just too cold.”

“I’m sorry, too,” said Matter-Eater Lad Two, giving her a light kiss. “I really like you, Kylda.”

“And I like you, Hillarie,” said Polar Lass. “Really, really like you. It’s just… well, I like being with you. A lot. But maybe, for now, we can just be Friends-Without-Benefits?”

“And I like hanging out with you,” said Matter-Eater Lad Two. “We can hang out, right? I mean, if you think about it, we’re still just kids. Right?”

“Well, at least you’re helping me learn to control my powers,” said Polar Lass.

“What? How so?” asked Matter-Eater Lad Two.

“Most psychoglaciating Tharrans just kind of generally broadcast cold over a large area,” said Polar Lass. “But I’ve learned real focus. Take a look at the thermostat on the wall. I keep my quarters warm.”

“It’s over two hundred degrees in here!” said Matter-Eater Lad Two.

“That’s not possible,” said Polar Lass, jumping up to check the thermometer as well. “I keep it set on 95c. Not even a Tharran…”

“Sorry, sorry,” said Matter-Eater Lad Two. “On Bismoll, we use the Fahrenheit scale. 95c it is. But I don’t even feel warm? I ought to be suffocating.”

“Yeah, whenever we’re together, I’ve been keeping you in an envelope of a flat 20c,” said Polar Lass. “I like you to be comfortable around me.”

“Thanks,” said Matter-Eater Lad Two. “And good job.”

“Here, let me show you something else,” said Polar Lass. She took a transparent aluminum tumbler out, and set it on her dresser. She held her hand above it-- the ‘glass’ began to frost up, then slowly filled with a smoking, clear, pale-blue liquid. “Liquid oxygen,” said Polar Lass. “Care for a drink?”

Matter-Eater Lad Two took the glass carefully, took a sip, then quickly finished the whole tumbler. “A little tangy,” he said, “Refreshing. Filling, too. I would never go hungry with you to take care of me.”

“You’d never go hungry anyway,” said Polar Lass. “I mean, you can eat sand.”

Matter-Eater Lad Two stared thoughtfully out the window. Kylda’s cabin had an excellent view of New Hellespont Sea. “Let’s go for a walk on the beach,” he said.

“I’m glad Ten was able to repair and rebuild my flight belt,” said Polar Lass, hovering a half-meter off the ground beside Matter-Eater Lad Two. “It makes living off-planet so much easier.”

“I thought walking along the beach together might be a pleasant activity,” said Matter-Eater Lad Two.

Polar Lass came down, and took his arm. “It is,” she said. “I just get caught up in the freedom of it all. Say, I was talking to my parents about you. How would you like to come to Tharr, next time I go back to visit?”

“I thought we discussed this,” said Matter-Eater Lad Two. “I really wouldn’t be able to take the heat.”

“Well then, you’ll just have to stay close to me the whole time we’re there,” Polar Lass laughed. “No, seriously, there are cooling belts on Tharr, for tourists. Not that we get a lot of tourists. My mother thought we might like to come for Herringbone Day.”

“OK, what’s Herringbone Day?” Matter-Eater Lad Two asked.

“Well, it’s actually a three-day celebration,” said Polar Lass. “Tharrans are descended from Terran fisherfolk, and this holiday celebrates our ancestry. Of course, the fish are farmed now, and genetically modified to live in anoxic near-boiling water, but we still remember when our ancestors braved the open sea to feed their families and villages. There are a couple of great feasts-- you would like it: they have salted, pickled fish on ice, and lots of other traditional delicacies. Then on the third day, the Ancient Mariner comes with candy and gifts. And feathers, for some reason. It’s a real party, a special time for community, and family, too.”

“Salted fish,” said Matter-Eater Lad Two. “I prefer potassium salts.”

“Well, I know they use more than one kind of salt,” said Polar Lass. “Do you think you’d like to come?”

“Sure,” said Matter-Eater Lad Two. “Maybe someday you can come visit my family on Bismoll. We don’t have any special days, really, just The Day of Eating Rocks, which is every day.”

They walked on, arm-in-arm, or hand-in-hand, for a while. The two moons of Mars danced by swiftly overhead. At last, they turned back.

“When we were in mirror-Tharn,” said Matter-Eater Lad Two, “I was assigned to make a thing called ‘Amulets of Accommodation’. I’ve been reading about them.”

“I think I know what they’re for,” said Polar Lass.

“I made a couple myself, on Bismoll,” said Matter-Eater Lad Two. “Before I came back to Mars.” He fished two plain silvery rings out of his pocket. “It’s just plain electrum, with an engraved insignia-- it’s actually on the inside of the ring, not visible when being worn-- it’s kind of fiddly-- you have to get the proportions just right. But I think I did a good job. Of course, they’re not really magic-- you’d need a magician to activate them, and I’m not sure that I’ve even made them exactly right…”

“Oh, Hillarie!” said Polar Lass. “Are you giving me your Promise Ring? Does this mean we’re going steady?”

“Um… I’m not really sure what that means,” said Matter-Eater Lad Two. “But I wouldn’t…”

“Oh, I would totally,” said Polar Lass, slipping one of the rings on. “In a heartbeat. Look, a perfect fit! Now you have to put yours on.”

Matter-Eater Lad Two managed to fit the second ring onto the little finger of his right hand. Polar Lass kissed him.

“Now it’s official,” said Polar Lass. “All we have to do now is find a magician.”

Polar Lass and ME-Lad The Sequel are cute together...on a sidenote, I dig "psychoglaciating" as a descriptor for cold powers too!

I am always surprised at what will spark a comment.

CHAPTER SIXTY-SIX
DATE NIGHT: PROSPERO’S PIZZA PALACE

Prospero, if that was his real name, looked like an old-man version of Mario the Plumber, if Ffey and Chameleon had known who Mario the Plumber was.

Ffey was doing the ordering, while Chameleon sat at a table in his ‘Ffameleon’ form.

“One-half pepperoni, sausage, linguica, anchovies, and prosciutto,” she said, “and the other half jalapeno, sliced artichoke hearts, and pineapple. And could you give us just a ball of raw dough?”

“I have some old, over-risen, yeasty, watery dough I was going to throw out. That OK?” asked Prospero. “I’m training a new kid, Antonio. Incompetent.Your friend is a Durlan, isn’t she? You want it for her?”

“Y-yes, please,” stammered Ffey.

“Don’t worry,” said Prospero. “I don’t care what shape she is or isn't in. I’ll bring you some seltzer for her, too, and maybe something a little special.” He lowered his voice. “You know, I came out here to New Metropolis retire. Used to run a big place in Rabe City, but it got to be too much work. But then I got bored just sitting around all day, so I opened up this little place in this little town. But when I was back in Rabe, we had a boy there who married a Durlan girl. He was a nice boy-- an SP cadet-- and she was very beautiful-- an actress. Then one day, with no warnint, she just disappeared. No one ever heard from her again. Broke his heart. You be careful associating with Durlans.”

“Is this a date?” asked Chameleon / Ffameleon, when Ffey got back to their table.

“Sure, it could be a date,” said Ffey. “Or just a girl’s night out.”

“Yes,” said Chameleon. “I recall. Dating is a courtship ritual, between the sexes, not merely a fixed time of meeting.” She concentrated. Her hair grew somewhat shorter, her face and shoulders grew somewhat broader, her hips somewhat slimmer, her height somewhat taller. She-- he-- was now a male version of the Triplicate Girls.

“Oh, we’ll have to call you Ffameleo now,” said Ffey. “Or Ffameleus.”

“An interesting idea,” Chameleon mused. “My tribe has no use for proper names, and yet you are suggesting that each of my separate forms ought to have its own name.”

“Well, maybe only your favorites,” said Ffey.

“I do like the Xanthuan Magpie Falcon,” said Chameleon. “Perhaps I will name him ‘Zavian’. And this form is Ffameleus.” He shifted slightly. His hair was differently styled, slicked back, and he had moustaches that mirrored Prospero’s. “And this is Ffameleo,” he declared.

“I like Ffameleus better,” said Ffey. “Those moustaches make you look too old.” Chameleon obligingly shifted back.

“So here’s your food,” said Prospero, appearing at their table. “An extra-large for the lady, and plain dough for the gentleman.” He also set down a cup of a lumpy, thick, milky substance in front of Chameleon. “Try this, and tell me how you like it.”

Chameleon took a spoonful.

“It is excellent,” said Chameleon. “What is it?”

“It’s yoghurt,” said Prospero.

“No, this is not yoghurt,” Chameleon protested. “I have had yoghurt. It upsets my stomache for an entire day.”

“No,” said Prospero, “What you have had is that fruity, lactose-flavored whipped gelatin that the thirty-first century calls yoghurt. This is the real thing: at least three thousand years old, and discovered over and over again by many Earth cultures during that time. It takes days to make properly. This is my personal recipe.”

“I shall be sure to request this in the future,” said Chamelon, “Next time the Club orders pizza.”

After dinner, the two went out for a walk around the town. Most of the shops were closed; there were a couple of bars open, but adults were not able to drink until age eighteen.

“Saturn Girl has talked about setting up a rotating patrol of the town,” said Ffey. “But this little place is so sleepy, I doubt we would see much action.”

“We might have been more use, had we set up our headquarters in Marsopolis, Marshall City, or Nix Olympia,” said Chameleon.

“But Ffiona pointed out that it would have been prohibitively expensive,” said Ffey. “Better to get ourselves established in New Metropolis, and open ‘branch offices’ later.”

They walked up to the end of the main street, then back down to the other end.

“We’d best be getting home,” said Ffey. “Too bad Ten hasn’t finished those flight belts.”

“I can fly under my own power,” said Chameleon, “But I can’t assume a form large enough to carry you.” He assumed his Durlan appearance, which he often did while he was thinking.

“Each Durlan Tribe has their own default form, don’t they?” Ffey asked.

“Correct,” said Chameleon. “Something else else over one-third belong to the tribe that uses the orange humanoid Iuquhu form, which is the legislated default form for Durlans throughout the United Planets. The next largest tribe uses the cthonic, cephalopodia form. My tribe is quite small, only a few tens of thousands of us.”

“And would you show me your default form?” asked Ffey. “Or is that too personal.”

“Not personal at all,” said Chameleon. His form shifted. He grew a half-meter shorter, and more slender. His fingers lengthened, growing spidery. His antennae shrank to button-sized nubs. His ears and virtually disappeared as well. His eyes grew large, his complexion darkened from orange to a dull, silvery grey.

“Somehow, you look familiar,” said Ffey.

“Unlikely,” said Chameleon. “None other of my clan have left Durla for centuries. If you do not mind riding, I believe I can get us back to the clubhouse quickly, without the need to call a cab.”

“Riding?” asked Ffey.

Chameleon assumed the form of a great, strawberry roan stallion. He kneeled, to help Ffey climb aboard.

“Hold onto my mane,” he suggested.

The midnight wind roared by as Chamelon galloped home. By the time they were arrived at the Clubhouse, Ffey was flushed and out of breath, while Chamelon seemed to have scarcely exerted himself as he shifted back into a more human form.

“Your moustaches tickle my nose,” said Ffey. “Hmm… that’s better. I definitely like your Ffameleus form better.”

CHAPTER SIXTY-SEVEN
THE COMPLEAT LEGION

The Members had pretty much given up setting aside Mixcoatlsday for tryouts. There were never any applicants, it was a chore to haul out the dais once a week, and Saturn Girl complained she was putting on weight from all the pizza they were ordering from Prospero’s.

They were surprised, then, when, answering a knock at the Clubhouse door, they found not one, but six applicants waiting for them.

“Al Gimnon, Colossal Boy of Earth,” said the curly-haired boy, growing to an immense size.

“Mork Dirgna, Sun Boy of Earth,” said the blonde, shining with a radiant light.

“Orr Vellum, Karate Kid of Earth,” said the asian-looking boy, displaying a high kick-punch combination.

“Tuck Chain, Bouncing Boy of Earth,” said the chubby boy, transforming into a ball, and bouncing high in the air.

“Niles Lord, Invisible Kid of Earth,” said the boy with the headband, as he vanished before their eyes..

“Nandru Olson, Ferro Lad of Earth,” said the masked boy, changing into iron.

In their costumes and appearance, they were dead ringers for the actual, original Legionnaires. Some of them, in fact, were actual ringers for dead Legionnaires.

“Something else else is wrong here,” said Saturn Girl. “This seems unlikely in the extreme.”

“But it is our fondest wish to join the Legion,” said Invisible Kid, reappearing.

“When the six of us met on Earth,” said Colossal Boy, “We just knew we had to join you in this New Legion.”

“You don’t mind answering a couple of questions?” asked Saturn Girl. “Colossal Boy, what did you have for breakfast this morning?”

“Breakfast?” said Colossal Boy. “I… I don’t remember. Is it important?”

“Any of you,” said Saturn Girl. “Can you tell me just one meal you really enjoyed this past week?”

None of the six boys answered.

“All right, here’s an easier one,” said Saturn Girl. “Karate Kid, what is your father’s name?”

“Uh… Black Dragon… I think,” said Karate Kid. “Um, no, um, that’s not right. I should know this, right?”

“I hear suppressed giggling,” Chameleon informed Saturn Girl. “And it is not any one of us. From up there.”

“OK, come on out, whoever you are,” Saturn Girl shouted to the air. “We know these constructs aren’t real.”

“What do you mean we’re not real?” asked Sun Boy.

The little man appeared out of nowhere. Less than a meter high, his long nose identified him as a Zrfffn imp.

“You didn’t like my Compleat Legion?” asked the imp. “Why won’t you let them join?”

“They aren’t real,” said Saturn Girl. “You could do away with their existence with a thought.”

“I could do the same to you,” said the imp. “And as for real, she’s realer than you,” he said, indicating Phantom Girl. “But only eighty percent as real as me. Say, why not let me join your Super-Hero Club? Then you could have as many Members as you want, with whatever powers you like?”

“Why waste your time with us?” asked Phantom Girl. “You could have your very own Legion of Super-Heroes without us, and they would do whatever you wanted.”

The imp seemed to think about this. “No,” he said finally. “I’d rather spend my time with you.”

“Well,” said Saturn Girl, “What’s your name?”

“Oh, no, I’m not telling you my name,” said the imp. “Much too dangerous.”

“Right, right,” said Saturn Girl. “If one of us were to say your name backwards, all your magic would vanish, and you would have to return to your home dimension for ninety days.”

“They changed those rules a long time ago,” said the imp sulkily. “I would have to return to Zrfff for ninety years. But you got one thing wrong. I’m the one who would have to say ‘Rykmlbrt’... No! Wait!”

But it was too late. Both the imp and the six faux Legionnaires disappeared, without a trace.

“Why would he do that?” asked Phantom Girl. “He just told us he was keeping his name a secret. There was absolutely no reason for him to say his name backwards.”

Saturn Girl shrugged. “I have no idea,” she said. “Perhaps even some Zrfffn imps have weak, suggestible minds, easily influenced.”

Phantom Girl looked at her friend curiously. “You didn’t…” she began.

“I wouldn’t admit it if I had,” said Saturn Girl.

CHAPTER SIXTY-EIGHT
MAGIC SHOW

A week later, the Super Hero Club had guests, this time expected ones.

They had been contacted by the Councilors on Tharn, who had offered to send their apprentices for a display of magic for the Member’s entertainment. None of the young sorcerers would actually be applying for membership in the group, but their Masters thought that this might be a good opportunity to rehearse what they had learned.

The six young Tharnans appeared with the crowing of the magical green rooster, Chanticleer, and his caretaker, the Princess Pollita. In addition, a large, heavy oak table appeared, surrounded by cushioned chairs, capable of seating at least fifty. An open-air tent sheltered the area in front of the clubhouse as well.

Princess Pollita took a seat at the head of the table with the rooster Chanticleer as well. She invited the Members of the Super Hero Club to take their seats as well.

The first apprentice was a small, heavy-set blond, built along the lines of a young Bouncing Boy.

“I am Jonathan Falstaff, Apprentice to Falco Columbarius. My Master is a specialist in all sorts of useful household magicks; he has been instructing me in Food magicks, also called Victuamancy, or Shi Xue Mó Shù (食学魔术). This is my first completed project in Joining.”

He held up something like a wooden chessboard, but with a more complex pattern in the wood. He set the board down in front of Chameleon, places a large, shallow bronze bowl on top of it, and covered it all with a silk scarf. When he removed the scarf, the bowl contained a large Gnole Melon, and copper spoon. He left the bronze bowl-plate with Chameleon, taking the patterned board from underneath. He then did the same trick with Ffey, who received a dish of yakisoba.

“Do I just wish for what I want in my head?” asked Ffiona.

“No,” replied Jonathan Falstaff. “It does not respond to wishes.The board knows what you crave; it provides both what you need and what you want. Almost always, it is a food you are familiar with. And usually just a little more than you want to eat.”

For Ffiona, bowl was filled with udon noodle soup.

Farrah received okonomiyaki & dorayaki.

Ten received a large dollop of Coluan nutritive gel paste, and a couple of mineral supplements.

Phantom Girl got a mixed Bgzltr fruit platter.

Saturn Girl received a variety of Winathan vegetables.

For Lightning Lass, the vegetables came hot, in a thick stew.

Cosmic Boy received two hamburgers, two sausages-in-a-bun, and a half-dozen mini-tacos.

Matter-Eater Lad Two found his plate piled with a tasty assortment of pure elements and minerals, each about the size of an M&M.

Polar Lass received a plate of pickled fish, cabbage, and beets.

Finally, Shrinking Violet was granted a stuffed meat-and-vegetable sausage, an Orzdean dish she identified as ‘joyous’.

It was time for more entertainment.

Zauberlein was a dark-haired, dark-eyed girl with a greenish cast to her skin. She was dressed in stereotypical witch’s black, complete with pointed hat and witch’s shawl. She had a rather mysterious and somewhat spooky air about her.

“The question is,” said Matter-Eater-Lad Two, “Are you a good witch, or a [/i]bad[/i] witch?”

“I am a competent witch,” said Zauberlein. “I have been studying broom magic, with Doctor Leitseid,” she said, conjuring a broom from nowhere. The broom flew some tricky maneuvers overhead, then landed upright beside her. “It can perform simple chores as well, such as carrying water, and washing dishes.” Zauberlein motioned, and the broom grew marionette-like arms. “Of course, it can also be used as a defending ‘warrior’, but it is pretty weak. Would one of you like to break my broom in half?”

Shrinking Violet volunteered, snapping the broomstick cleanly in half over one knee. The two halves rapidly regrew into two whole brooms.

“Over the long term, any opponent attacked by the broom would face serious difficulty,” Zauberlein commented.

“Unless, of course,” said Jonathan Falstaff, “The opponent thought to do this.” The two brooms were encased in massive, clear solid cubes. “Rock candy,” he explained.

“All of us have been trained,” Zauberlein explained, “To use our powers offensively, as well as productively. Imagine going up against Jonathan, and having him pour an unending stream of hot soup or molten cheese on you from the sky.” She gestured, and the two brooms vanished. Jonathan Falstaff made another motion, and the giant rock candies were gone as well.

Next was a young blonde-haired girl dressed in a costume of yellow and gold. She had a golden ‘dia de los muertos’-like skull painted-- or possibly tattooed-- on her face.

“I am the apprentice of Mariam Abraxas. I am called La Bruja Amarilla,” she introduced herself.”But my friends call me Amy. I have been studying mental magic: telepathy, clairvoyance, psychokinesis, and illusion.”

A great forest seemed to grow up around the Clubhouse. The Members could hear strange bird calls in the distance, as well as deep lowing from larger animals. Occasionally, a bird would dart between the trees. Flowers wafted their fragrances, over a scent of green.

“This is the enchanted Woods of Wonder on Tharn,” said La Bruja Amarilla. “Of course, Pollita could have Chanticleer actually take us there, but I use this as an illustration of what I have learned so far.” The Woods of Wonder faded away. “But this is no illusion,” she said. The Members had finished the meals Jonathan Falstaff had provided; the twelve bronze dishes were whisked away through the air, and neatly stacked up beside him.

“And you have also been studying magical telepathy, and clairvoyance?” asked Saturn Girl.

“<Yes,>” was the answer in her mind.

The next girl was dressed in colorful Romani garb. She seated herself at foot of the table. “Counselor Rincewind is my Master,” she said. “I have taken the name Occultress. My specialty is Soothsaying, Divination and Fortune-Telling. I have brought an extended Tarot deck with me.” She quickly dealt out the one-hundred-twenty-one cards, face-down, in eleven rows and columns. “I would ask each of you to turn a single card face-up.”

Chameleon turned the ‘Hermit’, Phantom Girl, the ‘Lovers’, Ten, the Ten of Diamonds, Ffiona, the Three of Diamonds, Ffarrah, the Three of Cups, Ffey, the Three of Hearts, Cosmic Boy, the Knight of Swords, Shrinking Violet, the ‘Temperance’ card, Matter-Eater Lad Two, the Queen of Hearts, Lightning Lass, the Two of Swords, Saturn Girl, the Two of Diamonds, and Polar Lass, the Jack of Hearts.

The Occultress seemed puzzled. “I am having difficulty reading your choices,” she said. She produced a small book, and consulted it for a few minutes. “I will need to talk to my Master. I am afraid I may have done something wrong.”

Saturn Girl smiled. “I think you have done very, very well indeed,” she said.

“I am called Sohai Haydn,” said the next young man. “And I have been studying a variety of martial arts with The Sensei. Each time an art is mastered, I am able to manifest my scholarship as a Qi Spirit.” He closed placed his hand together, and closed his eyes in meditation.

A glowing, translucent, red humanoid figure appeared. “This is the Martial Art of Mok'bara from Khundia,” Sohai Haydn explained, his eyes still closed. The entity performed an aggressive, martial dance.

An orange figure also appeared, executing some high kicks. “This is Taekwondo, from Earth,” Sohai Haydn said.

Next a neon-green figure appeared, divided into three, then recombined. “This is Tri-Jitsu, from Carggg.”

“Have you studied Tri-Jitsu?” Chameleon asked Ffiona.

“No,” said Ffiona, “But most mornings, we run through a set of Tri Chi exercises.”

Finally, Sohai Haydn produced a small, blue image, about three feet tall. “And this is Munchkin Fu, from Doll World,” he said. “There are others I am still studying, but have not mastered.” The colorful images vanished, and Sohai Haydn bowed respectfully.

There was one more who had accompanied the group, but did not seem ready to perform.

“Will you introduce yourself?” asked Saturn Girl.

He was a little over six feet tall, solidly built, with grey skin, horns, and upward-pointing fangs. He was dressed in some sort of golden armor.

“A year or so ago,” he began, “There was a young Branx warrior who stole a Euphorixan Spellbook in an attempt to learn Magic. Unfortunately, he was unaware of the forces he was dealing with, and exchanged minds-- and possibly souls-- with a 21st-century seventy-five-year old Earthman. Exiled from Emana Branx, I came to the Sorcerer’s world, in an attempt to undo the spell, and return to my own time and body. This has proven difficult, if not impossible. Still, I hold out hope. In the meantime, I am studying Bushido, the Way of the Warrior with the Sensei, in an attempt to learn control over this violent Branx body. I really have no special abilities to display, unless you want me to break something.”

“And your name is…?” asked Saturn Girl.

“The young Branx was called Lodarthon Ogreich, but I presume that being-- trapped in my old body-- passed away centuries ago. I call myself Strebor.”

The Sorcerer’s World Apprentices were preparing to leave. Zauberlein presented a box to Shrinking Violet. “This is the gift the Coventry promised your Club,” she said. “Put them to use as soon as you can.”

“Thank you,” said Shrinking Violet.

“And in answer to your query, Harlak and Varella’s son on Tharn is named Zolaak.”

“That makes sense,” said Shrinking Violet. “And is somewhat comforting.”

La Bruja Amarilla approached also Matter-Eater Lad Two privately. “We know you have been researching Amulets of Accommodation in our online Dictionary of Magic,” she said. “I just wanted to point out, there are some side-effect to their use that some people might find uncomfortable, or inconvenient.”

“What’s that?” asked Matter-Eater Lad Two.

“Offspring,” said La Bruja Amarilla.

“Oh,” said Matter-Eater Lad Two. “Well, then.”


AUTHOR’S NOTE
WHERE IS EVERYBODY?
So these stories are not particularly about the Original Legion, but I am sure Old Legion Fans are curious about what has happened to them in the Earth-K2 paracosm. (No 5YL, no Reboot, no Preboot, just TOS and the Retroboot)
The oldest, the Founders, Phantom Girl, and so on, are now approaching sixty. The youngest, Dragonwing and Chemical Kid, for example, are thirtysomethings. Here is a brief rundown of all the old Legion’s status...

Winath
Garth & Imra Ardeen-Ranzz
Married, living on Lightning Ring Farms. Four children, Garridan, Graym, Dorrit, and Dacey. No grand-children yet, but Graym was recently married to the former Yves Jor.

Rokk & Lydda Jath-Krinn
Married, living on Lightning Ring Farms. One child, Pol Hu Krinn II.

Salu and Ayla Ranzz-Digby
Married, living on Lightning Ring Farms. One child, Violet Foudre Ranzz-Digby.

The reformed Mekt Ranzz also lives on Lightning Ring Farms. He is currently unmarried.

Nomads
Jan Arrah
Legally owner of the entire planet of Trom. Spends his time between there, and wandering the entire Galaxy. Unmarried. Still a registered Adventurer.

Gim Allon
SP Special Investigations Officer. SP Trainer. Owns a home in Cloud City on Mars. Travels frequently for work. Unmarried.

The Royals
Projectra (Wilimena Morgana Daergina Annaxandra Projectra Velorya Vauxhall, plus titles)
Queen of Orando. Widowed. None of the multiple resurrections of Val Armorr ever “took”. She has, however, adopted a number of promising, magical children, one of whom will ultimately succeed her as regent of Orando.

Nura Nal
High Seer of Naltor. Unmarried, one child, a daughter.

Tasmia Mallor
Her cousin Grev and his wife, Kahnya, are Co-Regents of Talok VIII; Tasmia is therefore technically a princess. She resides in the palace at the Capital. Unmarried. One child, a boy.

A few notes on Talok, and the Malloreans
The Mallor family on Talok VIII holds the heritage of the Shadow Champions. When a Child of Mallor is of age, the enter the Shadow Cave, and either are chosen Shadow Champion, or not. There are generally only one or two Shadow Champions in a generation.
There are six Shadowcasters presently on Talok VIII:

(1) Sarven Mallor, male, age 105 (retired Shadow Champion)
(2) Tarnia Tolarn Mallor, female, age 80 (retired Shadow Champion), Sarven’s daughter-in-law
(3) Tasmia Mallor, female, age 55 (retired Shadow Champion) Tarnia’s daughter
(4) Grev Mallor, male, age 50 (retired Shadow Champion), Lord Regent of Talok VIII, Tasmia’s cousin, Tarnia’s nephew, and Sarven’s grandson.
(5) Adrion Mallor, male, age 35, (current Shadow Champion, aka Shadow-Star), Grev’s nephew, Sarven’s great-grandson
(6) Korvea Mallor, female, age 15 (Champion-in-Training), Adrion’s daughter, and great-great-granddaughter of Sarven Mallor.

It is expected that Malloreans, especially Champions, will take powerful mates, sometimes alien, in order to improve the bloodline of the Champions. Unfortunately, these genetic enhancements have proved to dissipate and dilute over the generations. Lyrissa and Lydea Mallor were noted for their great strength, but these have not persisted over time.

This preference for powerful mates is not merely a cultural imperative, but literally woven into the Mallorean genetic makeup. Mallorean males are intensely, almost irresistibly attracted to strong females, and Mallorean females are equally attracted to strong males. Polygyny and polyandry is not unknown on Talok VIII.
Everything said here about the Malloreans can also be applied to the memory-controlling Nahtahnie, priests and priestesses of Maakas.

Tasmia Mallor, to her shame and distress, was never able to produce a Daxamite heir. She did have one half-alien child, however. Gestated in an artificial womb, under the watchful eyes of the Healers, due to the many possible complications of such alien gene-mixing, he was a child of great expectations. Raised by revered Teachers and renowned Guardians, he was ultimately a disappointment. Unchosen at the Cave of Shadows, he remains an ordinary, powerless Talokan. He is currently studying at Metropolis University on his father’s homeworld. His name is Menaleas Niedrigh Mallor.

Mages
Mysa Nal
Ruler of Zerox, the original Sorcerer’s World, which is now located in another dimension. Long presumed deceased, but recently discovered alive.

Glorith II, now calling herself "Moonflower"
Lives on Zerox in another dimension. Long presumed deceased, but recently discovered alive.

Others
Jo & Tinya Wazzo-Nah
Married, family living on Gzbk, the Bgztlr-Universe equivalent of Mars. Three children, one grandchild.

Tenzil Kem
Married Eve Aries (Saturn Queen). Former President of Bismoll. At least two children.

Tong Marya Pai (formerly DragonWing)
Lives in China (Qingdaopolis) with her husband, Tong Hu-Kai (Hukai). They have one daughter, Tong Xie-Tao (Xietao).

Jacques Foccart
Married. Lives in East Africa. At least one child.

Ganglios (Tellus)
Bonded. Lives on Hykraius. No offspring as yet, but he is still young. Hykraians have a relatively long life-span, some two hundred to two hundred fifty years.

Quislet
Missing. Has not been heard from in years. Status unknown.

Hadru Jamik
Married. Lives on Phlon. No children. Yet.

Brek Bannin
Married. Lives on Tharr with his wife, Kalthrein Odomin-Bannin, and their two young children, Freski and Froyd.

Charles Foster Taine
Remarried a little over a year after Lluornu's death, a Wondilixian woman named Aemilia Tollydiggle. Lives on Wondil 9 with his and Aemilia's newborn daughter. His twin boys, Aaron and Lloyd, now fully grown, also reside on Wondil IX, and are VIPs in the colonist community.

Grava d’Quaal
‘Cured’ of her medical condition, Grava is now an ordinary, orange-skinned, pointy-eared, pink-haired Extalan hybrid. She moved to Wondil IX after hearing of Lluornu's death. She met a nice Wondilixian boy more her own age there recently, got married and settled down.

Querl Dox
Lives and works on Colu, directly for ColuGov. Technically still a child by Coluan standards, he has run through several dozen Adult Guardians over the years, a position now considered one of the worst jobs on Colu.

Harmonia Li
Currently lives and works on Colu, for ColuGov.

The Substitutes
Staq Mavlen
Married, lives on Schwar. At least one child.

Dag Wentim
Married, lives on Zwen. At least one child.

Ulu Vakk
Married, lives on Lupra. At least one child.

Khefurb Che Bez
Married, lives on Gryxor. At least one child.

Peter Dursin
Married, lives on Earth. ‘Cured’ of his porcupinish super-abilities. At least one child.

Deceased
Reep Daggle: Old Age (Durlans have a substantially shorter lifespan than Terrans, most living no longer than 50-60 years, Earth Standard)

Lyle Norg: Killed by Validus

Lar Gand: Killed by Emerald Empress

Dirk Morgna: Killed in starcruiser crash

Thom Kallor: Killed in building collapse

Clark Kent (Kal-El): Presumed deceased long ago.

Linda Lee Danvers (Kara Zor-El): Presumed deceased long ago

Lluornu (note spelling) Durgo-Taine: Has died at least four times. No known surviving bodies.

Andrew Nolan: Heroic murder-suicide while battling Sun-Eater

Val Armorr: Heroic suicide while battling Nemesis Kid. Attempted resurrections have never been permanent.

Condo Arlik: Heroic suicide during EarthWar

Brin Londo: Lost in time; presumed long dead in the past

Blok: Recently murdered by Mordru. Presumed dead for some time before that, after the disappearance of Zerox.

Rond Vidar: Murdered by Superboy-Prime.

Universo, Mordru and others are also implicated in his death.

Dawnstar: Lost in time; presumed long dead in the past

Pol Krinn I: His heroic suicide ended the Magic Wars.

Troy Stewart: Lost in time; presumed long dead in the past

Drake Burroughs / Wildfire: Lost in time; presumed long dead in the past. It is possible that the true Drake Burroughs originally died during the creation of Wildfire, who may be an Anti-Energy Elemental in the same way that Swamp Thing is a Plant Elemental. In that case, the Wildfire entity, being essentially immortal, may still exist. Somewhere.

Ti'julk Mr'asz: Lost in time; presumed long dead in the past

Jenni Ognats: Lost in time; presumed long dead in the past

Kirt Niedrigh: Heroic murder-suicide of the ‘Blue Flame, Bringer of Chaos’. This entity claimed to be the Eternal Incarnation of Evil, but its destruction did not seem to make any difference to the level of evil in the Universe.

Yera Allon: Lost in time; presumed long dead in the past

Frenk and Dyvud Retzun: Murdered by Kirt Niedrigh

Drura Sehpt: Lost in time; presumed long dead in the past

Honorary Members / Deceased
Elastic Lad / James Olsen: Presumed long dead in the past

Insect Queen / Lana Lang: Presumed long dead in the past

Pete Ross: Presumed long dead in the past

Gnill Opral: Vaporized by a wave of anti-matter created by the Anti-Monitor

'False Pretenses' Legionnaires / Deceased
Hart Druiter: Executed by the Queen of Orando under questionable legal circumstances.

Vorm of New Tortuga (also spelled New Tartuga): Lost in time; presumed death sometime in the far future

Graah, Aarl & Xaxan of Murra: Murdered by Pirates

Jan Jor: Died in Prison

My literary versions of Earth-K and Earth-K2 are not to be confused with the Earth-K's currently on Facebook.

I’m forgetting someone… I know I’m forgetting someone…

CHAPTER SIXTY-NINE
AQUA BOY
“Jeem Rehtu of Pretzor, calling the new Super Hero Club on Mars,” said the curly-haired man on the viewscreen. “I was surprised to receive your solicitation. After all, I was only a Legionnaire for a few days.”

“Well, I had a list,” said Cosmic Boy. “I’m afraid we really don’t know much about you.”

“My tenure was rather ignominious,” said Jeem Rehtu. “The newsfeeds styled me as ‘The Lad Who Wrecked The Legion’, but it was more complicated than that.”

“Do you have children who have inherited your powers?” asked Cosmic Boy.

“You really don’t know much about me, do you?” said Jeem Rehtu. “No, they don’t have any powers-- and I never had them myself for more than those few days, thank the Luck Lords. But my youngest son… Well, Pretzor is an Ocean World, dotted with many islands. Some of the younger generation, perhaps feeling caged in by the limited land area here, has taken to chromosomal surgery, to render them more compatible with an underwater lifestyle. My son, Jaan, has opted for that surgery. While still perfectly at home on the surface, he is also able to breathe underwater. His strength and durability is enhanced when submerged, enabling him to swim at remarkable speeds, and dive down to very deep levels beneath the oceans. He is not unique among his generation, but was curious if this is the sort of applicant you would be seeking?”

“Yes, an Aqua Boy in the Club might be interesting,” said Cosmic Boy. “Is it possible for him to come here to Mars next Mixcoatlsday for an in-person tryout?”

“I am certain we can arrange it,” said Jeem Rehtu. “One word of caution: he does not turn fourteen until next month; however, his mother and I would be happy to sign any waivers and so forth if you would allow him to join early. Should he pass your examination, of course.”

Saturn Girl and Lightning Lass had been listening to the last half of the conversation.

“I’m sure we can make arrangements, Mr. Rehtu,” said Saturn Girl. “If he wants to come a month early, and you approve… well that indicates a certain enthusiasm, doesn’t it?”

Suddenly, the room was spinning around the three Members. The world tilted, the floor dropped away…

Curious that a team that doesn't have a magician is so often encountering magic.

In the Jim Carey movie of Andy Kaufmann's life, he did a Mighty Mouse performance, which no doubt became the basis of the opera.

Coluan Nutritive Gel paste may be perfect nutrition but someone should buy that kid a veggie burger. If they can slip it past the Adult Guardian.

Strebor got the better deal in that mix-up. He should try saying his name backwards to go home, but what's so bad about gaining a young body in the future when you're 75? Where do I sign up?

Polar Lass and M-E Lad II seem to be the new Dawnstar/Wildfire physically incompatible romance, but with better results.

How does Prospero know that Ffameleon is a Durlan? I have the impression that Durlans may still be mysterious and little known, but the prejudice against them has lessened.

Jeem Rehtu is pretty anxious to get rid of his kid!

Thanks for the list of who's where in the Earth-K parcosm. The only ones I could see missing are some of the Academy kids - Power Boy, Lamprey, Nightwind, etc. and Dori Andraison.

Love all the daily life details you build into these stories.

I am gratified that you have found my vision somewhat interesting.


Mighty Mouse Opera:
(One of many)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5mTSiAoIZBI

and the original Andy Kaufman routine:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-wUe5aEwHM


Yes, I inserted myself into the Earth-K2 paracosm.


(1) Two identical girls walk into a pizza shop...
(2) ... and one orders raw pizza dough.
(3) or, Prospero may be more than he appears.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vtuoNCfbnYM

CHAPTER SEVENTY
JEEM REHTU, DEMON HUNTER

Cosmic Boy, Saturn Girl, and Lightning Lass found themselves on Pretzor, inside the home of Jeem Rehtu. But this was not the Jeem Rehtu they had just been speaking with. His face seemed harder, more careworn, even scarred. He had a sens-patch over his right eye. There was a hooded woman standing off to one side, behind him. There was also has a large collection of various jars, lamps, banded boxes, bottles, orbs, and rings of iron, brass, gold, and crystal in racks which lined the walls.

“Who are you?” demanded Jeem Rehtu. He raised his hands, as though they were weapons. There were metal disks embedded in his palms.

“Er… Cosmic Boy, Lightning Lass, and Saturn Girl of the Super-Hero Club,” said Cosmic Boy. “Were we just speaking to you? Or was that someone else?”

Jeem Rehtu lowered his hands. “Super Hero Club?” he asked. “That was a long time ago…”

“Be careful,” the hooded woman called out. “I am detecting infernal energies nearby.”

“This one is resisting me,” said Saturn Girl, in a deep, guttural voice. “She is a powerful telepath.”

“This one as well,” said Lightning Lass. “I cannot understand it.”

“I have full control over the boy,” said Cosmic Boy. “His powers will allow us to liberate our ferrophobic brethren.”

But Lightning Lass had reached out a hand toward Cosmic Boy, and a bolt of lightning dropped him to the floor.

“I’m sorry, Pol,” she said, in her normal voice. “You will pay dearly for that, child,” the ragged second voice threatened.

The hooded woman held up a glowing red sphere, on the end of a golden wand. Metal plating began to envelop the three youths. Three screaming demonic entities rose from their bodies, which were quickly captured by the one-eyed Jeem Rehtu in three of the peculiar vessels along the walls.

The woman threw back her hood. Saturn Girl saw she had a tattoo around her right eye, which she recognized as an Egyptian Eye of Horus.

“I am Jhina Rhetu,” she said. “Mistress of the Orb of Ra. And this is my husband, Jeem. We are demon hunters… but in this case, the demons have come to us, and for some reason brought you with them.”

“They needed your bodies and powers,” Jeem Rhetu explained, “In order to free some of the others we have captured.” He indicated the wall behind him. “My wife and I specialize in a particular sort of demon: ones which share an antipathy to pure chemical elements. These were three were copper-hating demons, but were evidently attempting to free the more common, iron-hating ones.”

“I’m a Braalien,” said Cosmic Boy, struggling to his feet. “I owe you a headache,” he promised Lightning Lass.

“You do have Braaliens here?” asked Saturn Girl. “I don’t think we are in our home dimension. We were just speaking with a very different Jeem Rehtu a moment ago.”

The one-eyed man rubbed his chin. “Yes, Braaliens, of course,” he said. He held up his palms. “These two coins are inscribed with the six-sided Seal of Solomon, and the eight-sided Signet of Melchizedek, which have great power against demonic magicks. I am certain that a single touch will send you home. Will you hold hands, please?”

Cosmic Boy stood in the middle. Jeem Rehtu touched one hand to Lightning Lass and Saturn Girl’s shoulders. The room faded around them, and they found themselves on an open street under a bright sun.

CHAPTER SEVENTY-ONE
LUCKY THIRTEEN

“Well, he sent us somewhere,” said Lightning Lass. “The question is, where?”

“First a Zrfffn imp, then extradimensional demons,” said Saturn Girl. “I’m beginning to hate magic.”

“They say that once you have experienced magic, it will remain a part of your life forever,” said Cosmic Boy.

“Who says that?” said Lightning Lass.

“I don’t know. I heard it somewhere,” said Cosmic Boy. “Fairy tales, maybe?”

Saturn Girl grimaced. “We need to install that gift from the First Coventry as soon as possible,” she said. “Oh my, I think I know where we are.” She pointed to a young girl about their age, walking down the sidewalk on the other side of the street. Her hands were webbed, her skin had a greenish hue, and she had a shark’s fin growing out of the top of her head.

“Excuse me!” called Saturn Girl. She ran up to the strange girl. “Can you tell me if Jeem Rehtu lives around here?”

“Sure,” said the girl. “The Rehtus live in that pink house over there. The one your friends are standing right in front of.”

“Pretzor,” Saturn Girl announced. “We’re still on Pretzor, hopefully in the right Trouser of Time.”

They knocked on the pink door. Jeem Rehtu answered.

“How did you get here so quickly?” he asked, surprised.

“Magic,” said Saturn Girl. “We, uh, thought we’d come and see your son Jaan ourselves. Is he home?”

“He will be home soon,” said Jeem Rehtu. “My wife picks him up from school on her way home from work. She’s an architect in town. Working on floating villages, right now. Although, the way things are going on Pretzor, her company may be building some undersea ones soon. Can I get you something cool to drink?”

“Please,” said Cosmic Boy. “And do you have a mild analgesic? This sort of ‘traveling’ gives me a headache.” He shot a glance at Lightning Lass.

Jaan Rehtu came home with his mother, who seemed much cheerier-- and less tattooed-- than the one they had met ‘elsewhere’. Jaan himself was smaller than any of the Members except Ten. His feet and hands were webbed, he had noticeable gills on his neck, his eyes were larger than average, and he had a fin growing up from the part of his shoulder-length, green hair.

“Aqua Boy?” he said. “Sure, why not?”

“You will need to continue your studies while on Mars,” said his mother. “We don’t want you dropping out the minute you turn fourteen.”

“We have several hours set aside for continuing education,” said Saturn Girl. “We’re on Independent Study, of course.” “<At least, most of us are>,” she thought to herself.

Aqua Boy enjoyed amenities the Clubhouse, especially the beach, and the great New Hellespont Sea. He could often be seen far out in the water, leaping meters above the surface, and splashing back again. The limited entertainments of the little town of New Metropolis quickly exhausted his interest, however.

A few days before his fourteenth birthday, he approached the rest of the Super Hero Club.

“So is this all we do? Hang out all day? I’m starting to get pretty bored. Sure, you have a nice sea to swim in, and some very interesting sea-creatures on the bottom, but when do we see some action?”

"Long hours of boredom punctuated by moments of terror," said Cosmic Boy.

“Well, it’s not what I signed up for,” said Aqua Boy. “I’m still waiting on the Flight Belt. And do I really have to pay for it myself? I’m going back to Pretzor.”

“We’re sorry to see you go,” said Saturn Girl. “But we’re all volunteers here, just getting started, doing the best we can.”

“Well, good luck,” said Aqua Boy. “I’d rather be back in school.”

Well, I must say this has been something of a challenge. It took me to some obscure corners of the Earth-K2 paracosm.

My initial goal in the Earth-K Universe was to try to more or less unite TOS, 5YL, and the Reboot into a single, consistent narrative. The Rainbow Girl stories were an exploration of that paracosm.

At the end of her arc, Dori somewhat unexpectedly created the Earth-K2 Universe, which operates under different rules. There is no 5YG or 5YL, and no reboot. There is only the Retroboot (and thus, most of early TOS history) but the Legion ends with Issue #23, and never returns. Those who are dead, stay dead. Those who are lost, stay lost. A quarter of a century has passed since the Legion was disbanded.

So, who are, or were, the members of the Legion Academy?

1 Obviously excluded are Legion Academy characters from the 5YG and 5YL period, such as Mara Williams (Rush), Jagged, Dragonfly, R3Z7 of Tyrraz, “Red Tiger Girl”, Ringtoss, and Xera of Manna-5. Some of them certainly exist in the Earth-K2 paracosm, having made appearances before 1989 or after 2007.

(The Earth-K2 Rush has even ended up as part of Justice League Earth 2.O. But I can’t list every minor character, can I?)

2 Brin Londo (Timber Wolf), Condo Arlik (Chemical King), Hadru Jamik (Chemical Kid), Grava d’Quall (Comet Queen), Pol Kfinn II (Magnetic Kid), Ganglios (Tellus), Dawnstar, ‘Glorith II’, and Marya Pai (Dragonwing) are all academy members who joined the Legion
eventually. Their arcs have been recorded above.

3, 4 [\b] Mentalla & Variable Lad[/b]
Deyla Castil (Mentalla) and Oaa Tseldor (Variable Lad) are deceased, both murdered by super-villains.

5, 6 Power Boy & Gravity Kid
Jedidiah ‘Jed’ Rikane (Power Boy) and Tel Vole (Gravity Kid) have already appeared in Young Legion Part One. They are still married, and living on Weber’s World. They have kept in touch with Rokk Krinn and his family, on and off. Their son, Ted Rivolkane, who more-or-less shares both their powers, once applied for membership in the new Super-Hero Club, but changed his mind.

7 [Shadow Kid]
Grev Mallor (the former Shadow Kid) has also appeared in the Earth-K2 paracosm, although mostly off-panel. He still rules Talok VIII with his wife, Kahnya Nahtahnie (Lady Memory). I have fleshed out Talok VIII pretty completely above.



There are several unknowns in the above panel I needed to identify. In this holo from 2989, we see (left to right) Shadow Kid, some big guy, and Laurel Kent. The big guy I have already identified in the original Earth-K stories as a more mature Ennis Jahnson (Animal Lad).

Continuing down the back row, we have some unknown kid in a mask, Power Boy, Mandalla, The Westerner, and Nightwind, with Lamprey flying overhead. In the interest of economy of characters, I identified Mask Kid as a young Myke-4 Astor of Calish-Aetia (Echo). Urk stands at the very front, next to Duo Damsel, nose up against the camera.

8 Animal Lad
Ennis Jahnson (Animal Lad) and Dori Aandraison (Rainbow Girl) I have already dropped a hundred thousand words on, or more. Of course, that was back on the original Earth-K. Their story on Earth-K2 varies only slightly. They actually met fifteen to twenty years earlier, Dori never developed “emotional spectrum” powers, but was limited to her natural “super-charisma”. The encounters between Earth-Man’s Justice League and the Legion of Substitute Heroes would need to be slightly rewritten.
Dori and Ennis never had Earth-K2 adventures parallelling those on Earth-K with the most powerful forces and demi-gods in the DC Universe. Jahnson’s World still exists, and Dori’s natural economic smarts has made it profitable from the beginning.

9 Laurel Kent
After a centuries-old renegade Oan manhunter conspired with the semi-immortal Professor Ivo to replace the incapacitated Laurel Kent the true Laurel herself was kept in a stasis chamber. Laurel was severely traumatized by her injury, hospitalization, and imprisonment, she had never experienced pain or injury before.
She became obsessed with finding a way to immunize herself against kryptonite, both by science and magic, and finally, began a quest for immortality.
She now resides on the Zerox, the first Sorcerer’s World, in a distant dimension, the entire planet having been relocated there by the Black Witch.

http://www.legionworld.net/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=864288#Post864288

http://www.legionworld.net/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=916515

10 Urk
Meissa V, also known as Maricéleste, is home to a vanished race, whose machines continue to function as if the world were still inhabited. The Gremlings are semi-sentient organobots-- created organims, halfway between clones and androids-- which service the machinery. Despite having only about the intelligence of a Terran cat, the Gremlings are technological savants, able to—in fact, compelled to—disassemble, repair and improve upon any type of technology it is exposed to. If it cannot get the parts it needs, it will improvise something. They also eat waste tech as the staple of their diet. R.J. Brande brought a Gremling to Montauk Point, in an experimental attempt to… well, something. He and the Academy students named it Urk.
After the death of Rene Brande, Urk returned to Maricéleste, hitchhiking and stowing away on various UP vessels until finally it got there.

http://www.legionworld.net/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=762051#Post762051

http://www.legionworld.net/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=824213#Post824213

11, 12 Crystal Kid & Lamprey
Bobb Kohan (Crystal Kid) and Tayla Skott Kohan (Lamprey) are married, and live in Metropolis, Earth, with a four-year-old ‘son’ called Scott. They are proud supporters of the Neo-Neidrighs, favoring a strict ‘Earth-First’ policy, opposed to all alien immigration to Earth, and even favoring forced deportation policies for non-Terrans currently on Earth legally.
They are also representative of MeTeOR, the Meta-Terran Orientation and Re-Education Project, which encourages meta-humans to live lives of quiet anonymity.

13, 14 Nightwind and Visi-Lad
Berta Skye Haris (Nightwind) and Rhent Ustin (Visi-Lad) joined the Military Division of the Science Police. Rhent is an instructor, Berta an expert strategist. They are married, but not to each other. Sure, they tried dating, but about the only thing they have in common is the MSP.

15 Mandalla
Tari Wahlmunn (Mandalla) also joined the Science Police. Among other stations, she served a term as a guard on Takron-Galtos, the world of her birth. She took early retirement on the ever-dark world of Kathoon, a place which suits her mood. She has never married, but has lived with a few Significant Others on and off over the years.

“Joyless and dark was his jeweled throne, when Mandalla awakened and found him alone.”
-- Letitia Elizabeth Landon, The Bayadere

16 Karate Kid II
Myg (Karate Kid II) was a revered Lord of Lythyl when he returned to Earth assist the Legion against the combined forces of ‘Superboy-Prime’, Mordru, Universo, and the Legion of Super-Villains. He died when exposed to Radiation Roy’s increasingly deadly radiation.
By the time of the events recorded in this thread, he has been gone nearly a quarter of a century.

17 The Westerner
Timothy Santoza (The Westerner) lives in Santa Fe, New Mexico on Earth. It is a small city, in the 31st century no larger than 20th-century San Francisco. His wife, Maria Valencia, is what we would call today a ‘plastic surgeon’, although the Interlac term translates more to ‘cosmetic bio-sculptor’. Their 17-year-old son, Tony Santoza-Valencia, probably shares his father’s Absorbancy-Boy-like superpowers, but has never really been interested in investigating them.

18 Echo
Myke-4 Astor (Echo) remained in the Legion Academy only a short time. He found it more profitable to turn his sonic powers to crime. He often served as an espionage agent for criminal organizations, using his sonar-abilities to scope out crime scenes.
Several years ago, he attempted to gain entry into Evillo’s palace on Tartarus. He has been living in a dungeon there ever since.
The Princesses Styx and Stiletta, Prince Evillo’s daughters, currently rule Tartarus jointly in their father’s stead, as Evillo has become feeble and afflicted with dementia in his old age.

19 ?????
There was an odd, squarish, floating metal box that showed up in a few panels. My assumption is that this was merely a holo-camera used by Tellus before Brainiac 5 made him his rebreather.

20, 21 The Skreaks
The last two Academy members are the Skreaks (Flotsam and Jetsam). This is a pair of orange fish-like symbiotic aliens are from a world near Van Maanen's Star, a white dwarf.
Their homeworld, also called Skreak, is a massive gas giant with a thin shell of nitrogen-argon-oxygen atmosphere somewhere in the depths of the planet in which their people live. There language is wholly tonal, so that Flotsam and Jetsam’s names in their own tongue are Skreak and Skreak. That is what their whole language sounds like, actually pronounced more like the scratching of fingernails on a chalkboard at various frequencies.
The Skreaks are pair-bonded, incapable of surviving alone for very long. In fact, if separated, one of them will involuntarily teleport back to the other. Which one seems to be random.
The Screak’s powers are related to mass, gravity, and momentum, although none of the Legion ever really properly understood them. The Skreak’s minds operate in an inhuman way. They insist that they only have a single ability, but to humans, it is manifested in various ways.
For example, they are able to neutralize Light Lass’ gravity powers-- but not Star Boy’s. They can also prevent flight rings from working for short periods of time. While they themselves can levitate, they cannot levitate other objects.They can cancel an Imskian’s ability to reduce their weight when they shrink, forcing them to become incredibly dense. They can lend momentum to one another, one essentially ‘throwing’ the other at a target. A Skreak is actually about as massive as a bowling ball, so getting hit by one hurts.
After being rejected as Legionnaires, the Skreaks returned to their homeworld.



In the first appearance of the Legion Academy in Adventure 371, Colossal Boy is sent there Legion Academy for retraining, there were a eleven unidentified students there ‘with no special costumes’, but all apparently human males. Who there were or whatever happened to them is impossible to say, although from later events it is clear that two of them are Condo Arlik and Brin Londo.

It is reasonable to suppose that the other Academy trainees are Legion Rejects from previous issues. While Ron-Karr and Roy Travich (Radiation Roy) are revealed as members of Tarik the Mute’s Super-Villain Academy. Ron-Karr wears an outfil similar to the Acedemy Kids' training cosume. It is not unreasonable to believe that they had been former Legion Academy members, either sent there as spies, or later recruited by Tarik.

I rather propose the other seven other Academy members were:

a Rann Antar
b Green Boy
c Camera Eye
d The Mess
e Polecat
f Calamity King
g The Dynamo Kid

22 Ron-Karr
Ron-Karr of Neptune was personally impressed with his metahuman ability to flatten himself. However, he had difficulty in convincing other how awesome it was. After being rejected from the Legion of Super-Heroes, he applied as a cadet-trainee with the Science Police, and was also rejected. He applied to the Interstellar Counter-Intelligence Corps with the same result.
At last, he was invited to join the Legion Academy. However, he proved a poor student, lazy and unmotivated, and was in danger of being expelled, when he was recruited by Tarik the Mute as a spy, and secret member of the Super-Villain Academy. He eagerly accepted the offer but was as poor a spy as he was a student. The ‘secrets’ he brought Tarik were mundane and inconsequential.
He became something of a hanger-on with the Legion of Super-Villains, but could never really commit to their murderous and psychopathic agenda. In and out of prison with the group, he was often the first to be released from Takron-Galtos, but kept drifting back into bad company.
When an improved counseling and psychic re-conditioning program was introduced, Ron-Karr responded well, recognized his unhealthy need for outside affirmation, and ‘graduated’ from the correctional program to life as a productive citizen of the United Planets.
He married Ki-Lan of Korlon-Dryad, (The Silver Slasher), another reorientation program ‘graduate’. It is a May-December romance, as Ron is much older than his wife.
The two currently serve as Night Pastors at the First Church of Neptune on Earth, in the Maldives.
(The First Churches of Neptune is are open twenty-four hours a day, providing counsel, comfort, solace, food and drink, sobering-up services, and even sleeping quarters to those in need.)
They have a son, Atta-Karr, who is able to flatten himself, or parts of himself, into two-dimensional, super-sharp silvery knives. He is a theological student at Metropolis University.

23 Radiation Roy
Roy Travich was orphaned at an early age, but the inheritor of vast wealth. He was also mentally unstable, and sought out disreputable scientists who would give him the super-powers he needed to take his revenge against an uncaring universe.
He was finally enabled to produce an enervating radiation, but at his Legion tryouts exhibited questionable control over his powers. In addition, Saturn Girl found his interior mental state so disturbing that she suggested he get psychological counseling.
He did not go for counseling. What he did do was squander the remainder of his inheritance installing psychic shields against telepathic intrusion into his mind.
Contacting the Legion again, Saturn Girl was impressed by his new calm and balanced mind, and suggested he be invited to the newly opening Legion Academy.
This turned out to be a mistake.
Peevish and short-tempered, Roy was not only a poor student, but a danger to his fellow academicians. He was just the sort of character Tarik the Mute was looking for.
Roy became a regular with the Legion of Super-Villains. While his powers were not as devastating as, say, Lightning Lad or Sun Emperor, his innate cruelty and sociopathy made him a popular member among most of the villains. Tyr of Tyrraz was a notable exception.
Roy’s powers evolved and grew, changing from merely enervating to deadly radiation. With these changes came physical changes in Roy himself: first he lost his hair, then many of his teeth, then began to develop blisters and tumors. Eventually the radiation he produced involuntarily became so strong that is was necessary for him to wear a radiation-proof suit at all times. His skin became a luminous chartreuse.
Released from Takron-Galtos by ‘Superboy-Prime’, Roy succeeded in murdering Myg of Lythyl, the second Karate Kid. He was sent back to prison unconscious from a massive blast of electricity from one of the Lightning Lads.
It was only a couple of years later that Roy succumbed to radiation poisoning, despite the best efforts of the prison doctors.
By the time of the events recorded in this thread, he has been gone nearly a quarter of a century.

24 Rann Antar
White-blond, curly-haired Rann Antar of Earth was a brilliant young chemist. Before the age of eighteen, he had developed a chemical formula with the ability to temporarily increase the weight of feathers. A few years later, after graduating from Metropolis University, he joined Tao Chemical Corporation on Phlon.
There, he developed a potion able to make eggs square, and another which separated white milk into its component colors. The market for square eggs and pastel-hued milk was small, but Rann earned a large bonus with his line of Tonsorial Tonics, one sip of which can trim or curl or your hair, change its color, or even regrow it.
Now middle-aged, Mr. Antar still lives on Phlon, and currently holds the position of Senior Vice-President in the Marketing Department of Tao Chemical. He and his wife Lanna have two children and one grandchild.

25 Green Boy
Precious little is known about the Legion applicant who had the power to turn anything green, which leaves me free to create my own story.
Earth strictly enforces the United Planet policy forbidding scientists from using family members as experimental subjects. The teen-aged Boyd Green of Londonopolis, however, experimented on himself. Injecting himself with strange chemicals, he was able to give himself the power to turn any object temporarily green. Not only was his power of dubious value, he had some difficulty controlling it.
After leaving the Legion Academy, Boyd, still obsessed with gaining super-powers, experimented with the chemicals which gave Bouncing Boy, Invisible Kid, and Elastic Lad their powers. (Elasticizing serum, Norgine, and Gingold)
The combination of chemicals put Boyd in hospital for several months, as doctors attempted to ameliorate the effects. When finally released, Boyd was several inches taller, and covered with wooly green fur. He continued to grow, eventually reaching nearly eight feet in height. During this period, he moved from Londonopolis out into the more sparsely populated English countryside for his own comfort, and the comfort of those around him.
He was discovered again by the media in his mid-thirties, and had a brief couple of years as something of a celebrity, the “Green Man of the Shire”. He actually set aside a decent amount of credits from chat-show appearances and celebrity endorsements. During this period he met and married the supermodel and holo-actress, An Byth. The marriage was short-lived.
He still lives on his modest estate in Monmouthshire in Wales. Although he is still a giant, his fur and curly beard and hair are more gray than green.

Aside: There was evidently a period in the mid-2950’s when it was popular among young teens throughout the United Planets to play with super-chemistry sets.

26 Camera Eye
Again, my imagination can go where it pleases.
Outis Neeman is a native of the planet Polyphemus, Planet of the Cyclopes, a world of genetically modified humans. Nearly all the Polyphemine have some sort of metahuman ability, usually related to optics.
Outis has a literal photographic memory, allowing him to project ‘movies’ of anything he has ever seen. For example, if he watches a holo-vid show, he can reply it entire, minus the sound.
During his application to the Legion, a fellow applicant, Boyd Green, lost control of his powers, and unintentionally turned Outis himself green. Unable to reverse the effect, he assured Outis that the change was only temporary. It had been in every case before, but in this case, the change was permanent.
While his application to the Legion was rejected, he trained at the Legion Academy for some time, during which he was convinced that his unusual power would serve him well in the business of private investigation.
Renting a small space in downtown Metropolis, he hung up his ‘shingle’ as Outis Neeman, Private Eye. Some people considered it a joke.
One of his clients had hired Outis suspecting her husband was unfaithful to her. He found evidence in the affirmative, and she divorced him. She pointed out that his natural appearance-- luminous, bright green skin, and single eye-- might make him conspicuous as a private investigator, and suggested he purchase a Zyzan Holographic Cloak to disguise himself. He procured one.
Now able to roam Metropolis in a variety of guises undetected, Outis became a prominent investigator, and eventually formed a relationship with a couple of insurance companies.
Over the Intergalactic Net, he met a nice cyclopean girl from back on Polyphemus, they hit it off, and were married. They now share an apartment on the floor above his office in a skyscraper in downtown Metropolis.

27 The Mess
The Alfred-E.-Neumanish Meyer Qayd remained at the Legion Academy only a short time, finding the required physical exertion and studies of chemistry, physics, criminal science, and psychology tiring.
Feeling his calling was more to the dark side, and with Tarik the Mute’s criminal college disbanded, he attempted to develop and expand his power of attracting dirt, rubbish, and filth. Variously taking the names Dust Devil, Dust Demon, Compost King, and the Living Rubbish Heap, he has operated as a small-time criminal, in and out of prison for many years, resistant to standard psychological reprogramming.
He was never really able to link up with a group, such as the Legion of Super-Villains, because he is so noisome to have around.
He is currently serving yet another prison sentence on Maldad, a small moon in the Alpha Antliae system used for low-level, low-priority, and mostly harmless criminals.

http://www.legionworld.net/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=904164#Post904164

28 Polecat
Dafe Meron is a Terran mutant from Earth, having been born on the northern African Continent on the border of the Mediterranean Sea. His pale skin, white forelock, and peculiar spongy ‘horns’. His ‘horns’ had the ability to emit a foul, repulsive odor. Even when he did not use this power, there was a certain amount of ‘leakage’. This led to a childhood filled with teasing, derision and rejection. He was nicknamed ‘polecat’ (fa'ar alkhayl). It looked like he would be leading a lonely life.
When he learned the Legion of Super-Heroes, he thought he might have finally found a usefulness for his odd power. Calling himself Polecat, he tried out for the Legion, but was rejected.
Although this was at the time when Command Kid was the sole ‘Legionnaire’, when the real Legion was restored, Dafe was invited to the Academy. There he experienced the same isolation and rejection he had experienced throughout his life,
After graduation he applied to the Science Police, was rejected, and eventually got a job working for a private security company. Generally his stations were outposts like Antarctica and the dark side of the Moon.
In his mid-thirties, he answered an advertisement for a companion to the centuries-old Kryptonian hermit Nam-Ek the Rondor Man, who lives in exile in the primeval forests of Daxam.
They actually are some comfort and company to one another, although occasionally one or the other will go on a walkabout, as too much time together begins to get on anyone’s nerves.

29 Calamity King
Things always seemed to go wrong for E. Davis Ester of Touston. Unbeknownst to him, he was a metahuman who generated a low-level improbability field at all times, the effect of which was to cause physical and mental stress to all things and beings around him. This led to physical and mental ‘stress fractures’ which his friends and family interpreted as ‘bad luck’.
After receiving a proper diagnosis for his medical condition, Davis found that with practice he was able to focus and intensify his ‘calamity’ powers, breaking and shattering what he willed.
He was rejected from the Legion for lack of control, perhaps inevitable due to the random factor of his powers.
Nevertheless, he was invited to the Legion Academy. Although he applied himself, he never gained better control of his powers, and was responsible for some near-disasters.
Life was difficult for Davis as an adult. Mostly, he lived on the U.P. Stipend. He received a job offer from a demolition contractor, but was unable to sufficiently focus his power to not affect adjacent buildings.
Life was expensive. His apartments and possessions were constantly in need of repair. Desperate for credits, he tortuously saved up a bit, and went to Ventura, the Gamblers Planet.
It turned out to be the first good thing that happened in his life. Although he did not win big-- in fact, did not have a chance to gamble at all-- his presence so damaged various Chance Machines (many of which were powered by quantum fluctuations) that he was evicted from the planet, and paid a large monthly remittance, revocable if he ever returned.
Using this windfall, Davis hired Daxamite and Coluan medical experts to attempt to suppress his metagenetic expression. It was difficult, as medical probes and equipment kept breaking down, as did several of the nurses who had close contact with him.
In the end, his condition proved incurable, but manageable. He needs to take custom medication daily to keep his ‘jinx’ power in check, but at least the Autochef® does not need repair every two weeks.
He never married or had children, fearing he might pass on his metagene, which might present as something even worse.
Davis now lives in a modest apartment in Metropolis, still supported by the Venturan remittance, and spends his days drawing and painting, creating bad art. He signs his pieces ‘Mr. E.’ He is considering branching out into bad sculpture and pottery.

30 The Dynamo Kid
Chubby, Charlie-Brown-ish Wil Warner was a Daily Planet Cub Reporter, and had a great idea. A piece on the Legion of Super-Heroes, from the inside, as a member! “I Was a Super-Legionnaire For One Week”.Unfortunately, he had no super-powers. However, assisted by his unscrupulous editor, he donned a small tesla generator, and blew up a Daily Planet flying billboard equipped with a small remote-controlled bomb at his Legion Try-Out. They figured he could remain undetected by the teens for at least a week.
Saturn Girl easily detected the clumsy deception, and Wil never got his week with the Legion.
Wil appears boorish, rude, and boastful during his tryout, but this was only because this is how he believed a super-hero would behave.

See Here

The real Wil himself is actually fairly well-mannered and polite, a likable enough character who can often get interviewees to share things they later regret.
In one of those hilarious pranks that the young Legion was famous for, they invited him to attend the Legion Academy, and do a piece on Legion training ‘from the inside’. The Legion Academy Instructor leaned particularly hard on him, and his training was both physically and mentally brutal.
Rather than holding this against the Legionnaires, Wil gained a new respect for the Legion, often writing editorials in their favor when the Legion fell into disfavor with the general public.
He maintained a relatively close relationship for years with Chuck Taine. They used to go out for tacos together.
Wil studied journalism at Metropolis University, and has occasionally returned to moonlight as an instructor there himself.
The elder Wil Warner is a heavy-set, balding editor and columnist, still working for the Daily Planet after all these years. Most of his opinions are in opposition to the speciesists in government left over from the Niedrigh era.
He married one Kay Plummer, a newspaperwoman, simultaneously poaching her for the Daily Planet from the Daily Sentinel. They have a teen-aged daughter, Laurel, who wants to grow up to be a reporter just like her parents.

31 One More
When it became clear that the Legion was going to be putting itself in danger on a regular basis, EarthGov tapped the Science Police to organize a training regimen for them.
Don Dacks was a career SP officer from a family of SP officers. He had an exemplary record, and had had experience training SP recruits. He was assigned special duty as the first Legion Academy instructor.
He had never had a high opinion of the Legionnaires before this, considering them vigilantes operating on the fringes of the law. He trained all the Legionnaires at the time in Science Police operating procedures and physical training as well. He created custom challenges for them to develop and hone their powers, teaching them how to react calmly in stressful situations.
Some of the Legion were surprising. Chuck Taine did unexpectedly well in the strength and stamina regimens. Gim Allon tended to cheat, slightly increasing his size (and, proportionally, his strength) and hopin the instructor would not notice. Officer Dacks finally threatened to force him to grow to full height, and make him bench-press buildings.
When the Legion Academy was opened to prospective Legion members (and good-hearted rejects), he was as thorough with them as he was with the original Legion, even though some of them were hapless, and their powers often more superfluous than super. But there are plenty of non-powered SPs as well, and their lack of impressive superordinary abilities did not deter him in their training.
As the Legion’s popularity gained ascendancy, Don was proud to acknowledge his role in creating them as a viable fighting force. When they dropped in popularity, and especially after the Legion was disbanded, he rather kept quiet about the role he had played.
Don Dacks is currently a Precinct Captain in the Metropolis Science Police, stationed near Weisinger Plaza. His wife Nina is a personal trainer.
Their forty-year-old daughter Doloras is an SP officer just like her father, and grandfather, and great-grandmother, and great-great-grandfather.

CHAPTER SEVENTY-TWO
WONDIL-9

Ten received a package from Interstellar Express, and disappeared into his laboratory for a full day.

“What do you think he’s doing?” asked Polar Lass.

“Hopefully, he’s started work on repairing the rest of our Flight Belts,” said Ffiona. “You and Phantom Girl are the only ones who’ve got them yet.”

“It’s not his fault,” said Shrinking Violet. “I haven’t been able to give him the money to buy parts yet. Taxes, on top of daily living expenses, are killing us.”

“We’ve put a pretty big dent in our emergency savings, too,” said Cosmic Boy. “An overnight stay in a hotel on Pretzor, then fare for the three of us back to Mars. Thank goodness Aqua Boy’s parents covered his ticket.”

Everyone was there, except Saturn Girl and Lightning Lass, when Ten walked in.

“It took me some time,” he said, “But I’ve repaired my Flight Belt.”

“Only nine to go,” said Ffiona.

“My adult guardian sent me some materials to improve its function,” Ten went on. “As before, I have incorporated my Omnicom, and a Coluan force-shield, and also… this!” He fingered a button on the belt, and immediately shrunk to the size of four inches.

“Hey!” said Shrinking Violet.

Ten returned to normal size. Shrinking Violet reduced to about half her height, so she could look him in the eye. “You’re stealing my routine,” she said.

“Coluans have been shrinking things for centuries,” said Ten.

“My guess is, you’re using Krill technology, even if Colu invented it independently,” said Shrinking Violet. “I’m guessing Dr. Tagor sent you a lens made of white dwarf star matter, an ultraviolet diode…”

“Yes, and an AI modulator,” said Ten.

“I hate to point this out,” said Ffiona, “But you have two forms of exotic matter pretty close to each other in that belt: white dwarf star matter, and decalithium. Don’t you feel like that’s pretty dangerous to walk around with?”

“Actually, no,” said Ten. “They’re suspended in an anti-degradation field. The belt is designed so that if it loses power, the exotic matter converts into ordinary low-weight chemical elements. With minimal expenditure of energy.”

“So a pop, rather than a bang,” said Ffiona.

“Precisely,” said Ten.

“I’m sorry we haven’t been able to properly fund this project,” said Shrinking Violet. “The few weeks we had the belts-- well, they’re really so useful, we got spoiled.”

“Is it possible to repair just the ultraphones?” asked Ffey. “It’s rough sharing time on the ship’s monitor.”

“I can take a look,” said Ten. “Every belt is damaged differently, of course. I’ve taken an inventory of what is necessary for full repairs, but haven’t really looked at separating out the components.”

“I, for one, am very grateful you did mine first,” said Polar Lass. “The Thermal Belt, especially.”

“I did some research while I was on Colu,” said Ten. “You seem particularly sensitive to low temperatures, even for a Tharran. Ordinarily, your people find an insula-suit sufficiently comfortable for journeys off-planet.”

“Well, this is an insula-suit,” said Polar Lass. “The same brand and style Brek Bannin used to wear, and I’m sorry, but I need the Thermal Belt as well.”

“I understand,” said Ten flatly. “But as I was saying, I have made a study of this question on Colu. I believe it would be possible for Coluan exobiologists to craft a more convenient solution for you. Your natural Tharran physiology-- and your heat-energy-negating powers-- could be suppressed. Possibly with some sort of endocrine patch. Of course, it would need to be adapted to your peculiar physiology.”

“And lose my powers?” said Polar Lass. “Why not just stay on Tharr then, where I am one of a million, not unique at all?”

“There ought to be a way to switch your powers on and off,” said Ten. “Some sort of control gauntlet, perhaps, or an armband.”

“I think I would prefer not to have Coluan exobiologists experimenting with my physiology,” said Polar Lass. “Thanks for thinking of me, though.”

“Well, if you ever want to experience real cold,” said Cosmic Boy, “You could visit Wondil-9, where my Uncle Chuck lives.”

“I’m not sure I’d like your Uncle Chuck,” said Ffey, “If he’s anything like that Mr. Taine we met on mirror-Tharn.”

“No way,” said Cosmic Boy. “Uncle Chuck and Aunt Aemilia are like Mr. and Mrs. Santa Claus. I mean, yeah, they look like Mr. and Mrs. Santa Claus, but they’re also just as jolly, and fun-loving, and a little crazy. They love kids-- they just had a little girl we haven’t met yet. Whenever we visit there at Christmastime, they spoil us rotten. My cousins Aaron and Lloyd are big practical jokers, too-- even though they have some kind of important, serious colonist jobs on Wondil-9.”

“And it’s cold there?” asked Polar Lass.

“Always winter-- always Christmas, says Uncle Chuck-- everywhere on the planet,” said Cosmic Boy. “When they talk about the temperature outside-- ten, twenty, forty c, they mean below zero. If it ever got above freezing, they’d have to use negative numbers. And Uncle Chuck and Aunt Aemilia have the weirdest pet: it’s called a Wondilixian ice dragon. It’s about the size of a dog, and about as smart. Well, as smart a really dumb dog, anyway. But they’re like Antarean proteans. They’re intuitive telepathic shape-shifters, only made of ice..."

“<Attention please!>” came Saturn Girl’s telepathic broadcast.

"Hey, speaking of telepaths...” said Matter-Eater Lad Two.

“<Everyone! Meet me at the Bridge>” she continued. “<We’ve got a problem!>”

CHAPTER SEVENTY-THREE
VS. CYCLOPS

“Let me make this quick,” said Saturn Girl, running a holo-vid on the viewscreen. “A couple of days ago, thieves broke into the Museum of Forbidden Weapons in Ouranine City on Uranias. They used some kind of cloak to get past the guards, and stole a weapon. Naturally, it’s depowered, but…”

“It could be re-powered,” said Ffiona.

“Exactly,” said Saturn Girl.

“This is just the sort of thing superheroes are supposed to do,” said Cosmic Boy. “Be at the museum, and stop the thief.”

“Or find him, after he escapes,” said Shrinking Violet. “Track him down, and bring him in.”

“Well, you two are in luck,” said Saturn Girl. “The thief’s ship is in orbit around Mars as we speak. The bad news is, he’s used some sort of teleportation device to kidnap Lightning Lass. I think he intends to use her powers to charge the weapon.”

“But you two have a permanent mind-link,” said Cosmic Boy. “You know exactly where he is, and what he’s doing. You can see through her eyes.”

“And she can see through mine,” said Saturn Girl. “It’s like she’s right here with us.”

* * *

Lightning Lass was imprisoned in a tube of some transparent material. Energy dampeners were attached to her wrists and ankles. There was a larger tank of some kind on the opposite wall. It held a giant, dead Venusian flying electric ray.

“It was my first attempt,” said her captor. He was almost comically evil-looking, squinty-eyed, slightly hunchbacked. Or, possibly, merely had poor posture. He appeared only a few years older than Lightning Lass. “These batteries can only be charged bio-electrically. The ray, unfortunately, did not have sufficient capacity. Let us hope you do.”

“I could give you directions to Korbal,” said Lightning Lass.

“I’d rather not risk my life,” said the hunchback. “We should be together for some time. Let me introduce yourself. I know you: Lightning Lass, Dacey Ranzz, a half-Winathan, half-Titan crossbreed. I am Deem Zumm of Uranias, From the floating city of Ouranine.”

“Ah,” said Lightning Lass. “Out from Uranus.”

“Uranias, if you please,” said Deem Zumm. “Our world hasn’t been called… anything else… for centuries.”

“I thought you guys were all wealthy sky-diamond miners,” said Lighting Lass. “The diamonds that crystallize in the gaseous atmosphere of Uranus are supposed to have some remarkable properties. I thought you guys were all as rich as Croesus.” She looked around at the interior of the ship. “You can’t be doing too badly, to afford a custom-made spacecraft like this. Especially at your age.”

“You know nothing. There is terrible inequality on Uranias,” said Deem Zumm. “The Overlords retain hundreds of times the profits of the ordinary workers. But that will end, once I have assembled my weapon.”

“And have made yourself New Supreme Overlord of Uranus? Or am I spoiling the surprise?” asked Lightning Lass. “I always thought super-villains monologuing was an urban myth, and yet here you are.”

“As I have been distracting you,” said Deem Zumm, “My machines have been slowly draining your electrical powers. My weapon will soon be charged!”

“Well, why don’t we see if we can speed it up?” Lightning Lass replied. She concentrated, increasing her output, feeding millions of volts into her restraints and the attached cables. There was a very disappointing complete lack of the system overloading and shorting out in showers of sparks.

“Incredible!” cried Deem Zumm shortly. “You have charged all six sets of batteries in a matter of minutes!” He began shutting down his equipment, and gathering a half-dozen half-open boxes from their containers. “Soon my Cyclops will be mine to command!”

* * *

“Someone look up a Forbidden Weapon called ‘Cyclops’,” Saturn Girl requested. “Ten, you could probably get more information faster than anyone else.”

Ten turned to the Bridge viewscreen. Almost immediately, he had an answer. “This is bizarre,” he declared..

* * *

“This is the irony,” said Deem Zumm. “Your own people invented this weapon. Telepathic neurobiologists from Saturn.”

He had opened the six boxes, and was assembling a robot from two arms, two legs, a strange, triangular-shaped body, and a head which was mostly a single large eye.

“Cyclops, it is called,” said Deem Zumm. “Made of self-regenerating metal, it is completely indestructible. Break it, crush it, or melt it to slag, and it will heal itself within only a few days. The only way to keep it inactive is to disassemble it. But its great power is the ray that shoots from its single eye. It has the power to reverse an evil person’s mind to good, or a good person’s mind to evil!”

Deem Zumm attached the head to the robot’s frame, and the device activated.

“Whoever assembles me is my Master,” intoned the robot. “I therefore obey thee, Master Deem Zumm.”

“Yes, Cyclops,” said Deem Zumm. “Turn your ray on Dacey Ranzz, and make her an evil person!”

“Sorry, Dacey Ranzz, or, should I say, Lightning Lass,” intoned the robot. “I must carry out my Master Deem Zumm’s commands. The ray from my eye will turn you into an evil human being.”

A golden beam flashed from the robot’s single eye, dancing over the imprisoned girl.

“I have done thy bidding, Master,” intoned the robot. “I have changed Dacey Ranzz into an evil person.”

“Excellent, Cyclops,” said Deem Zumm, activating a switch on a control panel.

The chamber in which Lightning Lass was kept imprisoned opened. The power-sapping restraints fell away.

“And now, my new, evil lightning-powered minion, we will visit your companions at their Clubhouse and have Cyclops turn them evil as well. Then, with a super-powered Legion at my command, I will conquer Ouranine, then all of Uranias!”

“Minion?” said Lightning Lass. “I may be evil now, but that doesn’t mean that you’re the boss of me.” She faced the control panel of the ship. Forks of lightning played over the controls. “I think I’ve only shut down your force field and cloaking device,” she said. She surveyed her work. “I may have done more damage than I intended. Well, these high-line ships often have a fail-safe so that when the engines shut down, they just hover. And if I broke the fail-safe, too… well, I have friends with flight belts.”

* * *

“Polar Lass, Phantom Girl, those are the coordinates,” said Saturn Girl. “Almost exactly straight up, only a couple of miles. You're the ones with flight belts. Go get her.”

The two Legionnaires soared up through the high, thin Martian air. They met Lightning Lass coming down, carried in the arms of the flying Cyclops robot.

“I popped his head off,” Lightning Lass explained. “Then re-attached it. Now I’m his Master.”

* * *

“The SP’s picked him up almost immediately,” Saturn Girl reported. “We had already alerted them; when his ship became visible and immobile, they jumped on it. He’s probably already half-way back to Uranias by now.”

“I don’t mind being Evil,” said Lightning Lass, smiling. “It’s kind of refreshing.”

Polar Lass and Phantom Girl looked puzzled. Saturn Girl laughed.

“She hasn’t turned evil at all,” said Saturn Girl. “The robot’s ray did not work.”

“The Cyclops weapon was once transported back in time, then lay buried for more than a thousand years,” Ten explained. “A few grains of the exotic radioactive mineral kryptonite was one of the essential elements of its mind-altering beam. A millennium was plenty of time for the trans-feynmanium elements in the kryptonite to decay into inert material.”

“Kryptonite again,” said Phantom Girl.

“It can be useful, for certain applications” said Ten, “But like all exotic matter, it is difficult to work with, and often unreliable.”

“Cyclops, go into the Clubhouse, and bring me a cold Guarana.”

“You command, I obey,” said Cyclops, bowing. “Master Lightning Lass.”

“Oh, I could get used to this,” said Lightning Lass. “Does he count as a new member?”

Note: The Cyclops robot made its first appearance in Adventure Comics #290, “Secret of the Seventh Super-Hero”,

CHAPTER SEVENTY-FOUR
INTERLUDE: CONVERSATIONS

PART ONE
THE LEGION OF SUPER-PETS

“I’ve been thinking about the Legion of Super-Pets,” said Phantom Girl.

“Why?” asked Ffarrah. “That seems like an absurd thing to think about.”

“Oh, the name was a little silly,” said Shrinking Violet. “But they were actually an impressive and formidable group. Kryptonian animals, with intelligence enhanced by infra-yellow solar radiation to human or near-human levels. But what I was really thinking about was bringing our own personal pets to Mars. I sort of miss Molly: that’s the Ghost Dove I have back on Bgztl. She has all the powers of a humanoid Bgztlr, plus she can fly. Super-pet.”

“What kind of cage do you keep a Ghost Dove in?” asked Shrinking Violet.

“Oh, you can’t of course. You have to get them to imprint on you. Then they always come home, no matter how far they may fly. She’s imprinted on my parents, too, so I’m sure she still comes around home, at least for meals. Sometimes she would ride on my shoulder all day.”

“I have a little Hallucigenius back on Orzde,” said Shrinking Violet. “It’s… a kind of a fancy worm.”

“I know the species,” said Ten. “A common evolutionary convergence on many worlds.”

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/9-Z9Ssgb0Kg/maxresdefault.jpg

“We moved the aquarium into my little sister’s room when I left,” said Shrinking Violet. “She calls her Ellis Dee, but I just called her Spike. She never answered to her name anyway.”

“I never had an organic pet,” said Ten. “But I built a Cyber-Simianoid when I was two. It was based on an ordinary neural network, but sometimes displayed quite complex and fascinating behaviors.”

“Wait-- you built a AI robot monkey when you were two years old?” said Cosmic Boy. “Did you give it have a name?”

“It’s designation was Kappa-Omicron,” said Ten.

“I wouldn’t object to having a helpful little Kappa Omicron robot around the Clubhouse,” said Lightning Lass. “Maybe you could build another one sometime?”

“I doubt my Guardian would approve of my spending credits on brushed aluminum and the appropriate circuitry,” said Ten. “It was just a child’s toy, after all.”

“A Coluan child’s toy,” said Cosmic Boy. “I’ll bet the rest of us could find some use for it. I don’t know about brushed aluminum, but there are kilotons of ferrous metal at the bottom of New Hellespont right next door. And some badly corroded used circuitry as well, that we could clean up, I would guess. The Subs weren't the only careless pilots in the System.”

Ten mused, as much as any eight-year-old can muse. “Did your family have pets on Winath?”

“Not me,” said Cosmic Boy. “But Dacey and Dorrit…”

“We have a pair of Dxaundii Wingfish,” said Lightning Lass. “Which were designated ‘my’ pets, though. What that meant was that I had to keep them fit and watered, and clean out or rebuild their nests regularly. They’re actually pretty useful: they feed on invasive birds and rodents, which are a problem for farmers even on Winath, and they scare away of lot of the other pests that they don’t eat. My Dad was hoping to breed them, and sell them to our neighbors, but either they have more than two sexes, or they just didn’t like each other.”

“Or maybe they have a really long breeding season,” said Saturn Girl. “You talk about it like taking care of the Dxaundii was just more farm-work for you. But when I was little, I was so jealous of your having Ricky and Lucy as ‘your’ pets. Remember Alma? That Antarean Protean that came to work for us one year? She offered to be my 'pet' when I told her you wouldn’t share yours. I’m not sure she quite understood the meaning of the word ‘pet’.”

“Wingfish, Proteans, you guys were lucky,” said Cosmic Boy. “My mom never let me have any pets on the farm.”

“No, but you used to make those life-sized scrap-steel 'puppets',” said Lightning Lass. “You would to send them over to scare us, you brat. The wolf with the was particularly creepy that one time.”

“The Nahs are thinking of re-doing their back yard,” said Phantom Girl. “And getting rid of Lumfph, their Turtelpotamus. That’s a sort of pet that takes up a lot of room. That’s what got me thinking about Super-Pet auxiliary in the first place.”

“We have a Tharrite Fire-Cat back home,” said Polar Lass. “They’re native to the surface of Tharr, but sometimes sneak down into the Underground. It’s considered good fortune if one adopts you. I don’t think one could survive on Mars, though. Even on Tharr, they have to wander back up to the surface regularly.”

“We have one super-pet here already,” said Chameleon. “I was exploring some caves nearby- on my own here- a few weeks ago- right after we came back from Tharn. I found a little struggling Martian Zo’Ok flower. I didn’t know there were any left in this century. I have been nursing it back to health in my quarters. It actually seems to be doing well.”

Ten gaped. “Let me get this straight. You have a rare, semi-telepathic, nigh-invulnerable, shape-shifting Martian botanical in your quarters. Which is assumed, in many quarters, to be extinct. You’ve been husbanding it for weeks, and you didn’t think to tell us, or anyone else? Do you recall how excited everyone was when we found the M’mannix?”

“In retrospect, perhaps I should have said something,” said Chameleon. “But as mutual shape-shifters, the Zo’Ok and I… I suppose we bonded. I wanted to make sure it would be all right.”

“We never had pets on Carggg,” said Ffey. “I always wanted a Tripli-Cat.”

“Oh, speak for yourself,” said Ffiona. “Those nasty, three-headed little monsters?”

“Well, I think they’re cute,” said Ffey. "They're fuzzy."

Ffarrah rolled her eyes.

“Of course, I never had a pet as a child,” said Matter-Eater Lad Two. "There are no animals of any kind on Bismoll. The plant-life is just too toxic.”

“It astonishes me that it was easier for your people to learn to eat rocks,” said Ten, “rather than develop a resistance to the toxins in your world’s version of chlorophylls.”

Matter-Eater Lad Two shrugged. “Just lucky, I guess.”

CHAPTER SEVENTY-FOUR
INTERLUDE: CONVERSATIONS

PART TWO
CURSES

“Hey Dad. Thought I ought to check in with you.”

“Hello sweetheart. We haven’t read anything on the newsfeeds about you recently, so things must be pretty quiet.”

“Oh, yeah, we got a new member, but he got so bored here that he quit. You remember a guy named Jeem Rehtu?”

“Command Kid? Sure. He slipped by your mom’s personality scan, because he was a perfectly decent guy. Possessed by a demon though, unfortunately. Lost his powers when we beat the demon. Actually only a Legionnaire for a few days. We never really kept in touch. You’re not inducting demons now, are you?”

“No, he lives on Pretzor; his son’s is a kind of fish-boy. Like I say, it didn’t work out. How’s Mom?”

“She’s fine, sweetheart. You gave her quite a scare, but you’ve also proved you can take care of yourselves.”

“We’re trying pretty hard not to die.”

“You know, she talks about that, but that’s not her greatest fear, believe it or not.”

“Wait-- she’s worried about something worse than death?”

“Allow me to quote: ‘I leave you my curse, Legionnaires… the curse of darkness growing within you, destroying you from within… and that which is purest of you shall be the first to go!’”

“Wait… she’s worried we might turn evil? Because we’re trying to revive the Legend of the Legion?”

“Something else else like that.”

“So she would be more worried, if, say, we were possessed by demons, or brainwashed by telepathic robots, or had to confront some reality-altering interdimensional entity with evil designs on us?”

Garth Ranzz scrutinized his daughter thoughtfully.

“You realize,” he said, “That your mom is a Zero-Level Telepath, and that she doesn’t even need to read my mind to know what I’m thinking?”

“Sure, Dad. No problem. We’ve got nothing to hide.”

“Well, I certainly don’t believe that. Keep safe. I’ll have your mom give you or Dacey a call in a week when we get back from vacation.”

“You two have fun on Vondra. Love you, Dad.”

I love all the different Legion pets

Also I am ashamed of myself for not getting Ellis Dee until I went back just now to have a re-read of that post lol....I think Phantom Girl's Ghost Dove is my favourite though.