Legion World Forums LEGION OUTPOST Mission Monitor Board The Moaning, Groaning, I just want to Vent thread

Sometimes I still feel like one big, sentient raw nerve.

These last few days have been one of those times.

I just seem to careen recklessly from complete and utter apathy to moderate but unsatisfying creativity and/or enthusiasm.

And nothing gets done! Not the things I want to do, nor the things I have to do!

Here's the nasty irony -- a few weeks ago, my psychiatrist increased my nightly dosage of -- let's call them "calming pills" -- by 1 gram.

So I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't! Too much of the stuff, and I'm lethargic; too little of the stuff, and I want to kick a hole in the wall. And either way, things don't get done!

To quote one of my favorite lyrics, from Suzanne Vega's "Penitent," where she directly addresses whatever higher powers are out there,

"What would you have me do? I ask you PLEASE!"

Alas. I often have bouts of anxiety too. I'm p at 4am for no good reason. Big hugs, Fanfie. Know that you're not alone.

4:30am here. Ugh!

I was trying to stay up all night and all day so I could adjust my sleep cycle. But alas, I couldn’t make it.

Maybe I'll sit up all night and day
Waiting for the minute I hear you say

I could leave you, say goodbye
Or I could love you, if I try
And I could
And left to my own devices, I probably would

And just when I thought things could not get any worse...

The state-run job placement agency changed counselors on me without even the courtesy of telling me! Today, I get a phone call out of the blue from a number that is not in my contacts, and the @#$% on the line gets all pissy when I asked what the nature of the call was (because of scammers and such -- I firmly believe you can't be too careful these days.) As if I was supposed to read her mind over the phone that she's my new counselor? And after that bad start, it just got worse. I generally dislike people with abrasive, authoritarian personalities, and this person's lack of social graces and lack of phone etiquette definitely fit the description.

I called the agency's ombudsman, who was a very pleasant woman who told me I have the option of calling the counselor's supervisors and requesting a transfer to someone else. But seeing as I've already been yanked around the way I have, I'm tempted to tell the whole agency to go f**k themselves! If I wasn't so desperate, I would have already done just that.

I am deeply unhappy.

Rude people can be jarring. Even when I tell myself it's them, not me, it still leaves me in a bad mood.

Sometimes, when people struggle to find words of support, they reach for a record. Something else else that expresses their sympathy. Something else else that shows they understand.

So, I've picked Daniel Powter's "Bad Day." Actually, I've picked up a crate of them, and I'm going to let you have first go with the flamethrower.


Ah, see the air fill with shallow, saccharine lines and listen to the briefly catchy chords fade into the crackling of the fire...

You deserve better than to be treated so shoddily.

Okay, Ann. Get her name and address. I've got three day old dead fish and termites.

Not everyone is made out for customer service. And that counselor's job does involve customer service.

Hopefully she can get you a job soon and you don't have to deal with her anymore.

Thank you, my friends. I knew I could count on you. I particularly appreciated the levity from Rick and Thoth. Laughter truly is the best medicine.

After sleeping on it, and giving it some extra thought, I've decided that before I do anything drastic, I will wait until the next time she calls (which will probably be tomorrow,) and if she makes a better impression, I will give her a second chance. If not, I'll follow the ombudsman's advice and find out how to get transferred to a different counselor.

That sounds like a good plan. She might have been having a bad day that day. But if she remains that same, better to get another counselor.

Concur on the plan, and you're right to get an early change if you're not happy how it goes. You have to have confidence in your counsellor.



I have some records somewhere for that...

She didn't call back on Friday. Maybe I scared her off.

Tee hee.

Perhaps someone with their head screwed on straight heard her call with you, and appropriately chewed her out on her bad counseling behavior.

"I'm sorry, Miss Sourpuss! We cannot allow you to continue as a counsler! Your low scores on our super-phone calls indicate your behavior is too awful for our profession!"

Gods bless you, Ibby.

So for the second time in 2 years at this job, the Chair of my department has insinuated that my politics around my sexual identity are inappropriate. Last year she wondered why so many male students hug me. This year she said my "job was on the line" because of a student complaint that I talked about my "gay sex life" (obviously just the gay bits though) and pornography for a 3 hour lecture.

I had to point out that if I had done that for 3 hours in the second week of the semester, that I was surprised only 1 out of 150 students complained.

She went though her investigation (including asking for a ridiculous amount of explanation from me) - and I indicated that 3 students audio record the class due to accommodations. Instead she decided to treat this as a legitimate claim and I needed to be "worried" about my job. Although of course she was "on my side" and protecting me.

I'm unconvinced.

It sucks because I really like the students here and I'm starting to make friends in San Diego and could see making a home here. But I don't want to have this person come at me every year with some crap.
And I really don't want to go on the market again.

(For context, the Dean of my College just resigned in a public statement about the homophobia and transphobia on campus -- her partner is trans and they've faced some crap here).

Sigh

Just venting.

I would think finding out how long the lecture actually was would be the first step in investigating this complaint. And have 3 students who have to audio tape the lecture makes it seem like an easy thing to do.

I'm concerned that you may have been taking performance pills to have made it last for three whole hours Andy.

She sounds like a gem, Andy. Supporting you all the way to your dismissal. Protecting you from the slings and arrows of distorted things that she gleefully makes sure are in your file. If that's the second year of this, then it's a decent bet that it will continue. Perhaps she puts fear into many members of staff (let's call it the Weisinger approach ) If it's a wider cultural issue, then it becomes more targeted. At best, just enough to keep you worried. At worst, all building up to something more serious. Lots of folks do have bosses on the "at best" side of this. So, it doesn't always mean there's a definite move to get you to leave.

Having handy students who record everything, is a very good step in the right direction.

I was just about to rephrase "cover your butt" when an English cricketer was interviewed on the radio and said "it's important to know when to pull out at the right time." I fear even your venting has side effects.

Sounds like harassment to me.

Yes, Thoth - you've hit it on the head
I think there's a wider culture this person wants to enforce to make people feel precarious and that she is the only one who can save them. I'm glad that this is her last semester as Chair and I never have to speak to her again.
Although I'm sure that she'll come at me with something next year too (which is the last year she really can - as I'll have tenure and therefore more protected in the US).

She didn't even ask for the student audio records. I was like "oh, this isn't real; you're just making a big deal out of it to get me worried".

I also openly disagree with her and call her out. She showed up 30 minutes late to a department meeting - no explanation or apology. When we got to the end of the meeting, she said "well, because we started 30 minutes late, I'm extending the meeting by 30 minutes". Everyone was like "we?" I sent her an email telling her she was disrespectful.

Soooo I'm strategizing with the other pre-tenure faculty (there are 5 of us, 1 more in the fall) about these attacks (she's come after each of us in different ways).

I really wanted to buy a condo this summer, but if I'm going on the market then I may want to rethink that... sigh

And yes I would need pills for that kind of performance.

Yes I'm meeting with the union tomorrow and human resources about it.

Agreed. I think she's being a bit ridiculous. And not having my back (for sure).

Too many days off work because they don't have enough runs. I hate changing jobs, but...i'm looking. And then today, no directions, the destination was hidden, so I wound up driving down a gravel lane though a bottom and up the other side onto a red clay dirt road. This was after calling another driver and getting mixed up directions. So, I had to back a 60' trailer half a mile down a hill on a road that was only one lane with soft shoulders and steep drop offs. Significant pucker factor. I don't think I broke half a mile an hour doing it.

Tired of bad runs, no runs, low pay and aggravation.

I need to win the lottery. prob'ly help if I played it.