Legion World Forums LEGION OUTPOST Mission Monitor Board Why I couldn't be the hero...

96. "Well I thought after Robotman's success from the 40s right through to the end of the Doom Patrol, that I'd specialise to make it even better.

But technology has a way of making you obsolete even as you reach to grasp the future." - Beta Max Bill

97. I'm allergic to evil. I get hives all over the place, sinus issues.

98. So I kept making like, "May the light of goodness burn the evil out of your souls!", "Cower before my radiance!", "I call on the life-giving heat to warm your cold, cold bones!". I mean, Storm of the X-Men talks like that all the time. And White Witch of the Legion. And most magicians. But nooooo, the villains wouldn't act like proper villains and just stand there while I talk. They kept rushing me while I was talking!

99. Because I got a huge run in my tights.

100. Because a movie studio had the rights to my character.

101. Because Uber is no longer in my city.

102. I thought I could fly.

Turns out, I can't.

103. Being The Mighty Plunger Man was not the only bad choice, Using Port-a-Potties as my change room and having the call sign of a drain only limited my rescue business. Septic Boy and I are now listed in the Yellow Pages next to Roto-Rooter.

104. I couldn't stick to my strict diet. No abs = no career.

105. I kept violating my parole.

106. Failed "Comabt Quips" 101

Fixed numbering so future generations wouldn't see my slip up. Just like they can't see this edit...drats...

106. Nobody could spell my code name. Monsieur Syzygy isn't that hard!

I think we are on #108 now.

108. Stuck at the DMV trying to register my hero mobile but they keep telling me I cannot have all the weapons and tech.

Ah nice catch on the numbering.

109. I kept dropping the hostages I was carrying.

Ouch.

110. I got vocal nodes so I cannot say my spells backwards anymore by doctor's orders.

111. The villains kept luring me into traps by mimicking my sidekick's signal device

112. The villains teased me because I made my costume out of pipe cleaners and felt.

113. "Will you turn that !*$* signal watch off Jimmy?! It's two in the morning and don't tell me you didn't know I was with Lois! You do this every time!"

114. My phone reception sucks so bad I don't hear about the crime until the bad guys have gotten away.

115. My horoscope said "with the moon rising over your Planet, Mercury is in play and you should not be answering any distress beacons."

116. "Well, it was the '90's and grim and deadly anti-hero vigilantes were everywhere. When I saw that my arch nemesis was going to be The Castrator, I just quit."

117. "Glass Lass really does not like to fight me in battle." - Stone Boy

118. I didn't feel like shaving daily.

119. Frozone's wife hid my super suit too.

120. I failed my driving exam.