Legion World Forums LEGION OUTPOST Mission Monitor Board Let's Talk About It

That's exactly how I've been trying to deal with it.

Sometimes it's easier than other times.

Either way, thank you, He Who.

Sorry I guess I should have posted in here.

It's okay, either thread is good for posting anything we want to say as we remember the great man that Lash was.

Thanks, Dave
I'm in a similar space - feeling a lot from intersecting events happening concurrently ... and just getting hit from it all
And also not able to talk about it much publicly

Lash was one of the best hosts here - whether when I first started or when I came back to Legion World last year

Indeed, either thread is great for this, and I am happy to see so many of us sharing our memories of Lash.

I was just thinking about how Lash created "The All-{Insert thing here} Threads" and how there was one that changed topics periodically. For a while it was about me (or my "character") and then it changed, which was the nature of the thread. However, Lash then created a thread just for me - something I had been self-conscious to do on my own. It made me feel incredibly special and accepted.

I know I've mentioned this before other places but Lash really made me feel like I was worth caring about when I was the deep throws of depression, which is a really big deal. He had a special gift and the world definitely feels a bit dimmer without him. That said, I feel so, so lucky to have known him even a little bit on the board here.

10 minutes from the anniversary and I'm excited for a great day ahead.

A lot of today I've just been feeling down. Posting with all of you will help, this I know. Gonna be thinking about Lash tomorrow.

Sweet ass sweet Lash.

Happy Anniversary.

It's already afternoon of March 12 here. Hurry up people! I'm already drunk!!!

Happy anniversary all, can't wait to relive and celebrate all the wonderful people and threads on the board

12:03am here. Happy Anniversary!

Yay! the party is joined!

I've arrived at the party...



(That was, appropriately, one of Lash's favorite movies.)

Stop acting all shocked there and jump right in!

*begins pouring Bailey's into mouth*

Ahhh. Alcohol, shirtless dancing, bad karaoke and torrid kissing with my man. What better way to celebrate the LMB Anniv?

Somebody totally has to karaoke Billy Ocean's "Caribbean Queen" with the title changed to "Calorie Queen", one of Lash's favorite characters.

Calorie Queen
Now we're sharing the same team
And our flight rings are as one
All the more to have fun

Love it, Ibby.

*dances*

Yay! Time to dance!

*rips off shirt*

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY
Where are the wait staff?
I'm just asking cuz Lash would want to know

Guess I'll have to deputize for Rocky:

Aidan, make yourself useful get Mr. Andy whatever he wants.

For the past few months, I've often found myself on LW but just haven't been able to post. Sometimes I would. But sometimes, I would lurk and consider typing a reply...but then delete it. I guess I just couldn't.

On the flip side, I just haven't been able to read any comic books either. Somehow I've been able to stay afloat in the Archives reread thread, but usually falling behind and then catching up. But most of the time I would buy them, open them up, and feel a tremendous strain to turn the page. So I wouldn't.

And I think a lot of it is I just really miss Lash and Dev. My Uncle passed away too a few months ago, and he was instrumental in building my love for comics too. He died after 10-15 years of being a full blown alcoholic and eventually never seeing the rest of my family anymore, before finally trying to make peace about a year ago and reconnect with the family. Losing him right between losing Dev and Lash was another blow. All three of them were directly connected with my love for comics. And Dev, and especially Lash, were connected with my love of Legion World and the LMB, which has been a wonderful part of my life since 1999.

With DC Rebirth, my father has shown an interest in reading comics regularly again for the first time in like 20 years. He's retired now and sees this as a time to finally start reading them again. And so I've used this as an opportunity to try myself. I've been reading most of them as they've come out, and its given me a little extra incentive to try to catch up on some of the other stuff I was buying (Walking Dead, etc.) It's been really nice.

It's still hard to log in to LW and not think of Lash or Dev though. But I know they would HATE the idea of me or anyone else not being on LW because of them. In fact, I know Lash would say thats the exact opposite of how I should feel.

So I'm going to try to be more present on the board. Life is busy for me with two young kids and owning my own business, but I just feel better in general when I'm on LW and connected with all of you.

I debated even posting this. I sometimes feel I don't even know how to talk about my personal feelings anymore, not like I used to in my 20's. But there was a time when ever facet of my life was posted on the MMB because it was part of the fun. So what the hell, right?

Guess I just wanted to say I love Legion World and I want to be a bigger part of it again than I've been these last few months. And I hope if any one else has felt this way that they read this and think about doing the same thing.

Luv you too, Cobie! Always!

Welcome back!



My condolences on your uncle's passing.

Please don't ever be afraid to share your feelings here with us. I firmly believe that bottling it up just makes it worse for a person. Of course, I know every individual is different, but from my observations of different people, I've come to believe that openness is healthier than the other option.

big Cobie. Thanks for sharing all that with us, you certainly still know how to share your feeling

condolences on your uncle's passing.

It really is great to be part of the family on Legion World. Cheers to that.

Sorry to hear about the loss of your uncle, Des.

I understand how you feel. We all need to take a breather and to reassess the value of the things and activities in our lives. I'm glad you've decided to become more active. As I was reading your post, I was afraid this was goodbye.

I still think it's the coolest thing that your dad is into comics and is starting to read them again. I never had that in my family. I do have some friends who are into comics. I'm going to take one out tomorrow for his birthday. Life is too precious to waste.

Very well said, He Who.

I'm glad you're here, Cobie. Like Lash and Dev and so many others, you bless Legion World with your own inimitable presence. My condolences for the loss of those close to you. Grief can shake us in unexpected ways.

For the past year I've been carrying a heavy work load, but I keep stopping by LW every day, even for a few moments, to keep the connection with y'all. But I'm not contributing much. Often I offer nothing more than an Inane One-Word Post--my mark on the wall for the day. But I'm watching and listening and praying for my teammates here. I hope that soon I'll have some more time to play with you guys.

Be well, friends. I'm glad you're all here.

Cobie, I'm so glad you posted this and have realized what you need to do sooner than I did 11 years ago. I knew without a doubt that all this has been weighing on you. I just know you too well. Plus, I've dealt with loss myself, having lost my dad 11 years ago, so I feel I can recognize some things, even from a distance.

Dev and Lash's losses hit me hard as well. Real tears. A real sense of sadness and melancholy that put a damper on my life that was really hard to explain to friends and family members. I would say, "a friend died", but I couldn't share the fact that I 'only' knew them from the internet because I doubted they would understand. I mean, my wife understands on some level because she knows I've been posting on Legion World and its forebears for many years, and she was supportive of my meeting a few of you in-person. But by and large, it's hard to share that with most people in your life, and it's even harder because you feel you have to keep up a brave face to avoid the surely odd-to-them explanation.

I guess, really, that making friends on the internet (and almost exclusively there) has got to be pretty common these days. But you never hear someone say, "my friend died today. I knew him exclusively from the internet. But I loved him like any other friend I've ever had in-person, and I'm really wrecked inside right now."

But the fact is, Michael and Dave were terrific people who greatly enriched my life for the better part of two decades. It's a powerful loss that resonates deep inside of me. I miss them both, and they were taken away so tragically and much too soon. It's a very real pain, but I wouldn't ever take back having gotten to know them the way I did.

So, odd circumstances aside, I guess I was somewhat pre-conditioned for this by the terrible loss of my father that I've been dealing with for what I can't believe is over 11 years now. There was a lot unsaid and unresolved between us. I loved him so much, but he was an unpleasant man in many ways. He was an alcoholic and had an uncontrollable temper that manifested constantly with verbal abuse. But eventually, cancer spread through his body and invaded his brain. At the end he was an invalid who spoke mostly in nonsense. It was only then that I realized that he would not survive this illness. Up until then, I figured he was just too tough for cancer to take him.

But he wasn't. he gave it all that he had, but it took him in the end. And I never grabbed the chance to sit with him and just settle our differences. I wish I could tell him that I loved him and that there was a lot about him that was wonderful and good. He was, for example, a very loving and devoted grandfather to my older son.

Just the other day, I took my son to the local technical college to get his enrollment sorted out. This college happened to be the place my father worked for the last fifteen years of his life as a public safety officer and sergeant. After we got home, it just hit me how if my father were still alive, he would be all about getting my son set up for school there and would have been such an invaluable asset for us in making the transition smooth for him. Having an autistic son, that would have been so awesome.

As all of those emotions washed over me, I became overwhelmed and had to close myself in the bathroom and cry for awhile. I just didn't want to upset my boys and have to explain why I was so upset. I did the same after the losses of Michael and Dave.

I guess all of this is a roundabout way of showing how I deal with these losses and to show Cobie and the rest of you that you're not alone. I think, though, from the beginning, I knew that backing away from Legion World would not help me. I remember that my only real absence from this community was when I lost my father. When I finally came back, I saw how therapeutic this place was. With so many great people here, you could both share your pain and get away from it for awhile with all of the assorted wonderful interactions.

That's why I knew that, even without Dev and Lash around anymore, there would be better healing staying active here than trying to avoid it. It's damned hard at times, but it's a community we all built and continue to build together. We honor those that came before and continue to build and grow it, so that others will have it to return to or to find. And in the process, we find both healing and new joy.

Cobie, I feel like you're my long-lost middle brother, somehow displaced in time and space into another family. If I never meet you in person, it'll be sad, but I know that we are no less truer friends than Michael and Dave were. I love you, long-lost middle brother, somehow displaced in time and space into another family!!!