Legion World Forums LEGION OUTPOST Mission Monitor Board Let's Talk About It

I've been logged into Legion World all day today from about 7:00 AM to the present, and I haven't done that for many years. After posting about Lash early this morning I spent a few hours reading old threads I knew had classic Lash moments and bumping some of them. I read some old PM's. And it made me feel better--a few times I laughed my ass off.

But those momentary good feelings faded. And melancholy set in again. He's really gone.

It really hurts. I've locked myself away in my office to have a few moments of tears.

I keep checking LW again and again to see if anyone has posted. I don't know why. I guess reading other people reacting is helping.

I thought maybe a thread to talk about it was okay. So it didn't totally take away from Lash's own thread. I think for the next few days, bumping old threads and just focusing on Lash and talking about him will help.

He's a rare poster that affected just about everyone who was ever a member of the LMB. His loss is something we all share.

I don't know. I've seen a steady stream of people logged in all day but not a lot of posting. Just want to let you guys know we're all in this together.

Thanks, Cobie.



I'm going to miss Lash's unforced good cheer most of all.

More thoughts as they come.

I've known few people with a taste in music as eclectic and un-self-conscious as Lash. It seemed to me like he didn't care about coming off as hip, he just knew what he liked. And I liked a lot of the same music as him.

(Special Thanks to FC--I posted this and deleted it before, but she encouraged me to repost).

Even when he was in a bad mood, he could be really funny about it, and that usually made me / us feel better and in turn, himself feel better.

Well said, Cobie. Lash had one of the greatest senses of humor I've ever come across.

It is depressing to lose someone like Lash and to think about mortality. I think the main thing I take away from having known Lash is to laugh and enjoy what you love even if no one else does. Oh and to hurl ashtrays at those who annoy you.

Agreed 100%, Quis.



And if you need someone to do something you want them to do, glaring always works.

I've been doing the same thing. I mean, the constant looking at Legion World and also the constant FB refreshing. It just hurts, and this is the only way I can deal with losing someone I knew exclusively online. I definitely wish I had somehow been able to spend in-person time with him or had even taken the step of talking with him on the phone. He just meant so much to me, as I know he did to many of you.

I cried hard for him twice last night. Once when I first saw posts saying goodbye to him and again when a friend of his posted under Lash's FB account and confirmed the fact of the matter.

Lash is a huge loss here and everywhere. And he will be missed terribly. Like Cobie, I chose to browse and bump some of his old threads and found lots of solace in the doing. But it still hurts and will for a long time.

Lardy, hugs.



Like Cobie said, we're all in this together.

Another thing I admired about Lash were his strong morals. He had a clear sense of right and wrong, but it wasn't black and white. It was just simple human decency.

Lardy, I was trying to find some of the oldest Lash stuff today and it reminded me of when I first started to "meet" you two. Before even the Who Are You? thread, I took notice of when the two of you argued with Greybird on the DCMB's about the Legion and the two of you were so funny about it that it took the tone of "dude, we're here to talk about Laurel Gand's thong and Infectuous Lass--chill". I can't remember the specifics but it was a notable shift from the bitter arguments that took place in the 6 months prior on that forum. This was probably late 1999 or early 2000.

I immediately knew I had to link up with you guys, which I did.

That light-hearted, all in it together tone was present right from the beginning.

Lash was the first poster I felt some kind of connection with. I've said this elsewhere, but he was the bright light on an otherwise dim road at some message boards owned by Wizard magazine. Basically, I was exploring the internet to find some way to talk about comics and especially the Legion. I've known a couple of comics fans in person but never, ever someone who liked the Legion.

So somewhere on Wizard Boards, there was either a general DC, Superman or possibly a Legion section where there was some Legion discussion. Thereabouts, I distinctly remember someone posting with the curious moniker of MLLASH who was both congenial and knowledgeable about the Legion. No one else there was both and probably not either.

Shortly after, I found the DC message boards, and wouldn't you know, I found him there, too. I reminded him in-thread of our interactions at Wizard World and he remembered me. We both casually dissed the Wizard boards, and things just grew from there as a core group of posters just sort of coalesced.

It was a magical time, and I'll always be glad that things happened the way I did. I'll always be happy to give him the biggest share of the credit because there was always something about his kindness and fun-loving nature that was contagious and encouraging.

And yet, during the LMB's tenth anniversary celebration, he PMed me and kind of toasted the 2 of us as "the LMB's baby-daddies". I'm honored that he thought of me that way. But he'll always be THE man in my book.

(I was gonna share the PM message with you guys, but I'm sorry to say it isn't anywhere in all of my messages. I don't know why it wouldn't be in there, and I was really hoping to read it again.)

I remember when I first came out on these boards. Lash was THE first to reply, and he said:



This makes Lash the first person ever to accept gay old me.

So I messaged him on Facebook asking for advice, and he just said, don't ever, ever cheat on your man. If I do, I would regret it forever.

Advice I still follow very closely

I feel really sad. Why do we keep dying? I have been a part of this forum since 2010 and I think we have lost so many people year and last.

I am unsure of the best way to go about honoring him. Should we keep the threads running as normal or would that be wrong?

I feel sad too, Emily, for all the friends we've lost recently.

As for Lash, some others know him better but I think he would want us to honor his memory by remembering the good times, such as the threads some of us have been bumping up recently.

Rereading the old threads is both a comfort and a sorrow, but I figure Lash would want everyone to keep posting and loving the great mish-mash that is the LMB, LW and the Legion.

It's occupied my mind all day, thinking about him and the sadness of losing him way too soon. I told my husband about it and all he could say was, oh, that's too bad - but it's way more than that. Lash can't be explained, he had to be experienced. What a brain to generate so much creativity!

I'm also sorry I never met him in person - but grateful to have known him through Legion World.

I've prayed for Lash every night for months now (well, almost every night) after finding out about his cancer. I felt horrible when I only learned about after reading posts people were making when he'd finished some surgery last year.

Lash was one of the few LW members I was friends with on facebook whom I talked with on a semi-regular basis. I had him on my Christmas card list and I shared with him some of my commissions.

I never even got around to commissioning Lash Lad based off Kid Marvel's old designs. I wish I had something to show him.

What disturbs me about this is that it's the second time for me I've learned of a LW friend's passing on facebook, and that now seems to be a trend for me. Finding out my friends have died by stumbling onto people wishing their condolences on facebook pages.

My sentiments exactly, FC.

Hugs to all. Please embrace the feelings and thoughts you are having. There is no wrong way to grieve. Probably the best advise I got was that it is not your job to get over the loss, but to find the size and shape of it.

Thank you, Jerry.

Thanks, Jerry. There's a part of me that really wants to know exactly what happened. I know he had colon cancer, and the last I heard he was getting a PET scan and hoping for good news. Soon after that, the silence was deafening. I can only assume that something very bad was found on the scan and that things went downhill quickly. I guess I'm confused because I thought there was hope at that point and don't understand what changed so suddenly. Did they try a dangerous, last-ditch procedure to address something? I just don't know.

I realize that this is probably entirely selfish. I guess, I thought, in the worst-case scenario he might get some bad news with the scan, but we might still have some time with him. I know I'm not a next of kin or anything like that, but he felt like family. So there's a nagging part of me that wishes I knew more as pointless as that may seem.

I feel you, Sarky. But Lash's friend said on Facebook that he didn't want to worry us by announcing it "even though he knew it was coming"... that is so Lash, so thoughtful... I felt bad as well, and wished I had reached out to him sooner. But, I believe he knew how much he was loved, and that is exactly why he didn't want to worry us. And he did make sure that we knew.... after the fact, but he made sure that we would know.

Thanks for starting this Cobie. I, like a lot of us, am having tremendous difficulty with this. It`s exacerbated by intersecting a number of personal issues that I won`t (and can`t) get into, so while I may not be `Talking About It` much, I appreciate that we`re all here together supporting each other, and I certainly love and respect you all.

-thanks

I wonder about this too Paladin. I wonder if it was like my dad. When my dad found out he had pancreatic cancer, he accepted it and did not go for treatment. He was 89. He passed away just 12 days later. I think my dad willed himself to die. I know one of my dad's fears was becoming incapacitated and a burden.

I believe people can will themselves to die or at least know when it's time to let go. I've seen it happen a few times in my life.

I've reconciled to the fact that I won't know everything, even about the people I'm closest to, other that what they choose to share. It is somewhat frustrating because I want to know more. The human mind does not like a vacuum. In the absence of information, it "fills in the blanks," often with misinformation or suspicion. But I think that's the reality of the world we live in. We can choose to be grateful for the time we had with Michael and to honor his life and force ourselves (hard as it is) not to dwell on his death.