Legion World Forums LEGION OUTPOST Bits o' Legionnaire Business The Every-Boot Legion v.1: "To Think Like a God!"

I think that's a wonderful suggestion. I have a separate recap thread for that very purpose - helps me keep track of everything I have introduced and established so I can make sure I don't contradict myself. I also have a separate file on my laptop where I jot down ideas and notes for future installments of my writing. It takes a few hours for me to actually get one chapter up.

Harbi, Ibby, as always your advice is greatly appreciated.

I love the way the fanfic branch of the Bits forum has evolved into something like The Writers' Group...of Space!

As for the Post-Boot originals, Shikari is the one that Madwoman Legion is most looking forward to writing. I love the way she's smart and tough, yet at the same time a wide-eyed innocent in many ways.

Yes, I love how we all exchange ideas and advice

And I very much look forward to seeing your take on Shikari!

Hey there, I finally managed to find time to go through the rest of this for you.

So, Imra and Tenzil finally realise that Rokk had been losing the plot for a while - I liked how they both commented on how wrong his behavious had been. I was good to see Tinya and Vi be shown as very competent and able to deal with their task.

My one real complaint about the second half of the story was one word - "McGuffin!" Aaaaagh! As far as I'm aware a 'McGuffin' is something within a story that is never explained or justified but only included to move a plot along. If there's another meaning I can't find it online so if it's slang for you that means something else I'm unaware. As a result everytime I read the word I groaned as it was almost like you were trying to have a joke with the reader acknowledging that the object stolen from Colu was only introduced to fulfil your plot needs. As a result the ending, which hadsome tremendously poignant moments kind of fell flat for me. Sorry.

Anyway, Garth's surrender to the Trapper was a great cliffhanger, well written, and Imra, the Legions ruthless pragmatic secret weapon was the perfect Legionnaire to take on the Trapper. She really is the teams bad-ass isn't she?

Tasmia's shadow bolt was a nice nod to her earlier using her shadow abilities in a physical way and a decent power-uppage to knock the Trapper on his back!

Nura fulfilling her own prophecy and killing Rokk/Trapper was very poignant - though will she face trial for murder or manslaughter now?

"While Stargrave pontificated emptily..." BEST LINE! Made me laugh out loud as it's so accurate for how he was written in canon, brilliant!

Imra's trust in Querl and Tinya's trust in Imra was very touching, these are people who have known each other for years and it's good to seethat despite their own feelings or doubts they know they can rely on their teammates.

Brainy making up for his 'legion of sins' was sweet, especially the final kiss with Kara.

"No more shall Hypertime, the one true state of the Multiverse, be held back" - Fantastic!

The Lost Legionnaires turning up was a superb ending, absolutely out of leftfield and very very good to see, making for a really great ending Raquel. You should take a deserved bow for that one as I'm sure no-one saw it coming.

So other than the Prof Jath bondage scenes (so to speak) and 'McGuffin' (Aaaagh!) I really enjoyed this story and am looking forward to seeing where you take us next as you obviously have some brilliant ideas and a real love for the characters.

More, more, more!

Thank you, Harbi, especially for your very kind words about the ending.

Yeah, Imra is the team's bad-ass for sure. What I love about her is the way she's so matter-of-fact about it, no posturing.

I believe Nura did the right thing to save her friends and teammates by decisively halting Rokk's rampage, and that the Legion will find her innocent. She deliberately put the Damper on its lowest possible setting to try to prevent the prophecy from coming true, thinking it would remove Rokk's powers without killing him, so there was no malice involved. Of course, Nura will have to deal with the emotional fallout, and I may have her turn to Mysa -- I think that's a nice way to bring Mysa back into the picture.

Glad you got a good laugh out of that intentionally subversive line about Stargrave.

I used The Word That Shall No Longer Be Mentioned In the Every-Boot as lazy, in-jokey shorthand, basically. I'm sure if I had made more of an effort I could have come up with something better. As always, I appreciate your candor.

And I wanted to backtrack to what you were saying in an earlier comment about the best ways to write characters that one personally dislikes. I've set myself quite a challenge with the next story, as it focuses on Luornu, whose Pre-Boot backstory has troubled me to say the least. Hopefully I'll come out of it respecting her, maybe even actually liking her.

Hey Fanfic lady,

I finally got a chance to check out your story. it is packed with a lot of good things.

I will say as I'm not well versed in Legion history outside of the Reboot Era, I was a little confused as to when this was taking place to start.

I liked Rokk as the trapper and the explanation as to why he became the way he did.

I loved Dox's ascendance scene. it was my favorite one and the prospect of what it means to have Hypertime and the arrival of the Lost Legionnaires from Vol. 1.

Along with a new headquarters which i hope we'll get a chance to explore in the next volume.

looking forward to see where this goes.

Thank you so much for your feedback, Omni. Glad you enjoyed so much about this story. I especially appreciate that you loved Brainy's ascendance scene. He's one of my favorite Legionnaires and it was hard for me to write his passing, I wanted to give him as happy an ending as I could, and from what you and others have said, it looks like I've succeeded.

In hindsight I probably should have provided some more details about exactly when this takes place, since the Legion stories of the late 1970s/early 1980s are kind of a wasteland, despite a few bright spots such as Earthwar and the Omega 2-parter.