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Re: The Book of Talok
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 17,872
More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
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OP
More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 17,872 |
FATE IN THREES (Part 2 of 6)
Tasmia's slumber was shattered by a guttural scream. She awoke and realized immediately than the scream had to have come from Mon-El. She looked over to see him out of bed and beginning to wreck the bedroom.
"My love, what is wrong?" she asked.
Mon-El did not answer, instead he carried on screaming incoherently and destroying property. Tasmia got out of bed and got as close to him as she could without getting hurt by his rampage.
"Calm yourself, Mon-El." she said. "It was only a nightmare."
At this, Mon-El went quiet, stopped what he was doing, and turned around to face his lover.
"No..." he moaned, "...much worse...than a...nightmare."
"What are you talking about?" asked a puzzled Tasmia.
After a pregnant pause, Mon-El's body twitched and he said, "Tasmia, f-f-forgive me."
With no further warning, he fired a full-force heat vision blast directly at Tasmia. It was only her well-honed reflexes which saved her life. She dodged the blast by hitting the floor, and the wall behind her exploded from the blast.
Mon-El began screaming again, then bounded through the giant hole he had just made in the wall. Tasmia, shaken but unhurt, picked herself up off the floor and ran after him.
Gradually, Tasmia began to realize that Mon-El was headed for the same chamber where he had been revived earlier. As she neared the entrance to the chamber, her better judgement convinced her to slow down and proceed with caution.
When she was just a few steps away from the chamber, she heard Glorith's voice.
"Come to Glorith, Mon-El." said the sorceress. "You belong to me now, mind, body, and soul. Together, we shall rule the universe."
Upon hearing Glorith's words, Tasmia's heart sank and her stomach turned. Glorith had taken advantage of her rare display of vulnerability and duped her. Now Mon-El appeared to be Glorith's puppet. But Tasmia thought there must be a way to save him, perhaps if Glorith were knocked unconscious.
Using her shadow-casting powers, Tasmia covered the chamber in darkness.
"Great Demon!" exclaimed Glorith. "She yet lives! You have failed me, Mon-El!"
Before Glorith could get her bearings, Tasmia rushed her and punched her in the jaw. Glorith staggered, and Tasmia pressed the advantage by grabbing her and wrestling her to the ground.
"You monster!" yelled Tasmia. "You unspeakable piece of filth! How could you do such a thing to us?"
"It is not my fault that you are so soft-hearted and pliable." laughed Glorith as she gained leverage and tossed Tasmia against the wall.
"Now DIE!" snarled Glorith as she was about to cast a deadly spell at Tasmia.
But then, Glorith was knocked off her feet by a deadly heat blast which left her badly burned and hideouly disfigured.
"Well done, Mon-El." said Tasmia. "Now her appearance matches her true soul. I knew she could not dominate you."
"Y-yes." mumbled Mon-El. "Am...free now..."
"Not so!" shrieked Glorith, pointing a finger at Mon-El. "I giveth, and I taketh away."
Instantly, a mystic portal opened up behind Mon-El. The energies he felt emanating from the portal were all too familiar to him, and he panicked. Glorith used this moment to charge at Mon-El and shove him into the portal.
"NO!" yelled Mon-El. "Nooooooo...not again..."
"The Phantom Zone!" gasped Tasmia. "You sent him to the Phantom Zone. But victory shall not be yours, for I shall join him there!"
"Ha." cackled Glorith. "I think not." And the portal closed as suddenly as it had opened. Tasmia let out a piercing scream.
"I had wanted you to die quickly and cleanly." said Glorith as she prepared to cast a spell. "But now your demise shall be slow and torturous."
Unexpectedly, a small army of sorcerers and sorceresses barged into the chamber.
"No!" choked Glorith. "This cannot be! I am invincible! You are my slaves!"
"No longer!" declared one of the sorceresses as they all joined forces to cast a mighty spell together.
Swirling wisps of eldritch energy exited Glorith's body as her powers were removed from her. In the end, she went into shock and fell face-first to the floor.
"So ends Glorith's reign of terror over the Sorcerer's World." said one of the sorcerors.
"And we owe it all to you." said the sorceress to Tasmia.
"Yes...I suppose so." replied Tasmia. "But I hope you'll forgive me if I do not join you in celebration. I have just lost my love again...perhaps forever." She closed her eyes and began to cry.
Feeling a sudden chill, Tasmia opened her eyes to find herself back in the cavern, facing her ancestor Lydea.
"So you see," said Lydea, "You would have sacrificed one tragic fate for a far worse one."
"Yes." agreed Tasmia reluctantly. "I should have realized that the likes of Glorith would covet someone as mighty as Mon-El."
After a long pause, Tasmia spoke again. "I recall now that it was not Mon-El whom I had first set my sights on. Perhaps I would have found true happiness with Brainiac 5."
"Let us now find out, then." said Lydea as she reached over and closed Tasmia's eyes.
TO BE CONTINUED
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Re: The Book of Talok
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 5,866
Wanderer
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Wanderer
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 5,866 |
Fantastic ending there - Chuck once said I was the Cliffhanger Queen but I think you own the title after that FL, splendid stuff!
I love how you have the Mallor ancestors appear literally inside the Cave of Shadows, gives a nice supernatural feel to the other worldliness of the setting - a nice mixing of Sci Fi and Fantasy/horror genre's if you like.
You have a nice concise style that moves the story at pace without it appearing forced or feeling that anything is missing. Your characters are great - your love of Tasmia is very obvious and how you present her feels so authentic that it could fit in with canon very easily. Well done: More, more, more!
Legion Worlds NINE - wait, there's even more ongoing amazing adventures? Yup, and you'll only find them in the Bits o' Legionnaire Business Forum.
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Re: The Book of Talok
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 17,872
More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
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OP
More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 17,872 |
Thank you so much, Harbi.
Onward to the imaginary Shady/Brainy romance, possibly even later tonight.
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Re: The Book of Talok
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 17,872
More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
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OP
More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 17,872 |
FATE IN THREES (Part 3 of 6)
When Tasmia opened her eyes, she found herself living in the past. Specifically, the time shortly after she had joined the Legion. In the mirror of the ladies' room at Legion Headquarters, she studied her younger self, with the skimpy costume, bobbed hair and headband, and wondered what she could have been thinking.
Phantom Girl, who was standing next to her, snapped Tasmia out of her contemplation. "The guys told me you faced down the Emerald Empress herself, and then you saved their bacon. That's awesome!"
"Why...thank you." replied Tasmia softly. She remembered this moment now, it was when she knew she had found a new best friend.
Adjusting quickly to the notion of reliving the old days yet being able to change them, she had a brainstorm.
"They are a great bunch of guys," she said, "they never once treated me as an inferior because of my gender." She paused to swallow, then took a deep breath and declared, "I especially like Brainy."
"Uh-oh." giggled Phantom Girl. "You better forget about him, Supergirl's got him wrapped around her finger."
"Is that so?" smiled Tasmia. "We shall see about that. On Talok, women know what they want, and they go after it."
Later, she ventured into Brainiac 5's multi-lab, which, like the rest of the new headquarters, had not been fully assembled yet.
"Oh, Brainy..." she said in her most flirtatious voice.
"Yes?" Brainy replied crisply.
"Would you like to go to the cinema with me?"
"I'm...busy." he answered awkwardly, a slightly reddish hue coming across his green face. "No, thank you...no."
"At least think about it." she grinned. "It will give you a chance to exercise underdeveloped parts of your wondrous brain."
Brainy, to his shock, found himself chuckling.
"Perhaps," he said, "I can spare some time."
That evening, they exited the theater after having enjoyed a movie, and Tasmia put her arm around Brainy, who reacted with a slight shudder.
"Please understand, you're an amazing warrior and a kind person, but I..."
"Forget about Supergirl."
"I...I...I..."
"She does not even live in the 30th Century, for the ancestors' sake! How can she possibly fulfill your needs?"
"I...yes, what you say is true. The next time she visits, I'll tell her it's not going to work out."
"You're a prince among men." she said, kissing him on the cheek.
He blushed again. "Well, I don't know about that, but I am certainly smarter than other men."
They shared a laugh.
And then they kissed, long, hard, and passionately.
The next day, Tasmia headed towards the multi-lab, feeling like she was walking on air. But as she got closer, she heard a female voice yelling. She sighed, having prepared for this yet feeling a twinge of guilt.
Tasmia walked into the lab to find Supergirl standing across from Brainy, hands on her hips and a hard expression on her delicate face.
"You!" she barked. "How could you turn out to be such a shameless hussy??"
"I believe," replied Tasmia, "there is a colloquial expression on Earth that goes, 'Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.' So there!"
"I hate you!" snapped Supergirl.
"I thought you were too pure of heart to feel hatred." chuckled Tasmia sarcastically, relishing the opportunity to be catty even though she knew better.
Supergirl growled, and walked out of the multi-lab in a huff.
"This isn't going to end well." predicated Brainy dourly.
"I am a planetary champion." declared Tasmia. "I fear nothing."
"Right." replied Brainy. "It is...illogical to worry."
"May I see you in your private quarters tonight?" asked Tasmia.
"Ab...absolutely." stammered Brainy before regaining his composure.
That night, Brainiac 5 felt his heart pounding as he lay in wait for Tasmia. He tried to calm himself with a series of deep breaths.
Tasmia entered, smiling, her hands behind her back.
"I have made it official." she said.
"Made...what official?" he inquired.
She brought forth her left hand, to reveal that she had cut off her own pinky finger and placed a metal wedding band on the stump.
Brainac 5 tried to remain stoic, but beads of sweat were forming on his brow.
"It is a Talokian tradition." she said. "Now we are truly bonded."
"T-Tasmia, it's too soon for this!"
"If not now, then when?" She got closer, until their faces were almost touching. "You must learn to live for the moment, Brainy. It will make you so much happier."
Before Brainiac could reply, the priority alarm sounded through Legion headquarters.
Tasmia and Brainy rushed to the Mission Monitor Board, to find the rest of the Legionnaires assembled.
"We're under attack," said Phantom Girl, "by a mysterious masked woman."
On the monitor screen, the Legion's latest adversary stood revealed as a flying blonde woman in a sinister full-faced mask and a blood-red costume with matching cape. After effortlessly disabling the headquarters' outer defenses, she flew straight up to the monitor screen's outer camera and removed her mask.
The Legion let out a collective gasp.
"Hear me, Legionnaires. In the past several hours, I have felt hateful feelings I never thought I was capable of. So to purge the guilt, I deliberately exposed myself to Red Kryptonite. Now there is nothing that can stop my revenge. Supergirl is dead. I am now OMEGA."
TO BE CONTINUED
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Re: The Book of Talok
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 17,872
More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
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OP
More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 17,872 |
FATE IN THREES (Part 4 of 6)
As the Legionnaires rushed out to confront Omega, Legion leader Invisible Kid quietly signaled the other members what battle maneuvers he wanted them to do.
Mon-El took the point, charging Omega at full speed. But she responded with a tremendously powerful right hook that sent Mon-El flying away into the stratosphere.
Next was Ultra Boy's turn. He dodged Omega's heat-vision blasts thanks to ultra-speed, then swooped behind Omega and struck her from behind with ultra-strength. Before he could switch to ultra-endurance, Omega shook off the force of the blow faster than Ultra Boy expected, and she took a vicious swipe at him. Ultra Boy's natural reflexes were fast enough that he was only grazed, but even being grazed by a crazed Kryptonian was enough to knock an sentient of ordinary endurance unconscious.
"Stop, Supergirl!" came a familiar voice out of nowhere.
"I already said I am no longer Supergirl, I am Omega!" she exclaimed before she turned to face...Superboy?
"Please, Cousin Kara, remember who you really are." begged Superboy as he hovered in front of Omega.
"Who...I...really...am?" whispered a dazed Omega, before she suddenly felt herself falling to the ground against her own will as "Superboy" shape-shifted into Chameleon Boy.
This could only be Star Boy's power to increase mass. She fought it, trying hard to break free, and the strain was too much for Star Boy, who passed out.
Now Cosmic Boy attempted to distract her by hurling the debris from her attack at her with his magnetic powers, giving him a narrow window with which to try to take control of the iron in Omega's blood and force her to stop her assault on the Legionnaires. But before he couldm succeed, Omega grabbed a large scrap of debris and threw it back at him with all her might. Cosmic Boy was knocked out cold.
At that moment, Omega felt gravity cancelling itself around her and sending her floating ever higher into the sky. This, of course, was Light Lass' doing. When she was at just the right distance, Lightning Lad took aim at her and fired a searing bolt of pure electricity at Omega.
It did no good. Omega divebombed the remaining Legionnaires, and Invisible Kid signaled for them to scatter and regroup. Before they could, Omega blew them apart from each other with super-breath.
Then, Omega was taken by surprise by the piercing force of one of Saturn Girl's mind-bolts. Omega lost control of her flight pattern and she hit the ground hard, skidding before coming to a stop.
"I'm sorry to have had to do that, Kara." said Saturn Girl. "But if you persist, I won't hesitate to use my powers that way again."
"That's what you think." sneered Omega as she began to pick herself up off the ground. "The Red Kryptonite mutated me, and gave me psionic powers just like yours."
Saturn Girl was unexpectedly hit by a strong dose of her own medicine, and she doubled over in agony.
Shadow Lass stepped forward defiantly and said, "Face me! It is I you are after, is it not?"
"Yes." hissed Omega with a psychotic grin on her face. "I hate you so..."
But before Omega could attack Tasmia, she was surrounded by the darkness of the shadows that Tasmia controlled.
With a bloodcurdling scream, Omega blasted off high into the sky, where there were no shadows to blind her. She then set her telescopic sights on Shadow Lass and began her descent, zeroing in on her target closer and closer with each microsecond.
Shadow Lass stood still, remaining stoic. If this was how she was to meet her end, she thought, so be it.
Without warning, Brainiac 5 came running out of the remains of the Legion headquarters armed with a bazooka loaded with Green Kryptonite. He fired point blank at Omega, and the explosion sent the villainess spiraling downward, until she crash-landed.
Brainy was the first Legionnaire to reach her. It was all too clear that she had been fatally wounded.
"I'm so sorry." he whispered. "I wish there had been another way..."
To his surprise, she smiled. "I have triumphed after all. Now you will have to live with this for the rest of your life." With those words, she closed her eyes and died.
"NO!" Brainy screamed, holding Kara's corpse in his arms as tears streamed down his face.
Much later, Tasmia finished packing her belongings. Brainy had been found innocent of murder by the other Legionnaires, having acted in defense of himself and his team. But Tasmia had been dishonorably discharged from the Legion for reckless behavior and endangerment of others.
To her surprise, she saw Brainy enter what were soon to be her former quarters.
"This is most unexpected!" she exclaimed.
"I only wanted to see you to tell you that thanks to you, I will never love again. Goodbye forever." said Brainy emotionlessly.
As he walked away, Tasmia broke down and cried.
When she was all cried out, she opened her eyes to find Lydea once again facing her.
"Kara should have killed me for the things I did." choked Tasmia.
"You were adolescents." replied Lydea serenly. "No one hurts each other more than adolescents. Add super-powers to the mix, and serious consequnces are inevitable."
"If that is so," said Tasmia, "better I had never joined the Legion of Super-Heroes."
"Close your eyes one more time," said Lydea, "and you shall see the consequences of that decision."
TO BE CONTINUED
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Re: The Book of Talok
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 17,872
More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
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OP
More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 17,872 |
FATE IN THREES (Part 5 of 6)
When Tasmia opened her eyes, she found herself once again studying herself in a mirror, this time in her luxurious private quarters on Talok VIII. Her face was remarkably well-preserved for a middle-aged woman, and her long mane of dark hair only had a few streaks of grey in it.
"Empress Tasmia!" called out a familiar voice.
"Yes, Grev? Or, rather, General Mallor?"
"The resistance has acquired new allies. It pains me to report that they are none other than the Legion of Super-Heroes."
The Legion of Super-Heroes. That name conjured up a flood of memories. Ever since she had turned down the opportunity to join them after having worked with them in a battle against the Fatal Five, she had barely thought of them as her duties as Talok VIII's Champion had consumed her during the difficult recovery from the Fatal Five's tyranny and warmongering, and subsequent years of civil wars left the planet on the brink of oblivion.
Despairing of the seemingly insurmountable web of political complications, Tasmia had ultimately chosen to overthrow the ruling Council and made herself the planet's autocratic leader.
Now, years later, it had come to this. Interventionism from the blasted United Planets, on top of a revolution led by the pagan throwback known as Lady Memory.
"Has the Imperial Fleet failed to stop the Legion's progress towards my planet?" inquired Tasmia.
"Unfortunately, they have." sighed her younger cousin, the General of her armies.
"To the control center, then." commanded Tasmia. "I shall have to take to the battlefield myself, and I desire to know who I am about to fight."
Once they were in the control center, the General punched up the computer files on the Legion's current membership. He ran down each of the core members one at a time.
"Wildfire: Team co-leader, an anti-energy being who has managed, over the course of many years, to give himself a fully functional simulacrum of a flesh-and-blood body."
"Dawnstar: Team co-leader, a brilliant winged tracker with superb aerial maneuvers."
"Powerhouse: Formerly Power Boy. Wildfire and Dawnstar's first lieutenant. Super-strength and super-endurance."
"Tellus: Both a telepath and a telekinetic."
"Quislet: A small but deadly energy being capable of possessing inanimate matter and reshaping it to his whim."
"Nightwind: An air elemental."
"Lamprey: The team's marine marauder. Also discharges bolts of electricity."
"Finally, and most dangerous of all, the Twin Stars: Wildfire and Dawnstar's twin daughters, Dorian and Daliah. Each individually possessing the power of a small star, as well as wings and tracking skills. When they touch hands, their powers are increased, seemingly to infinity."
Tasmia frowned and said, "They have yet to taste the extensive powers of the darkness which is mine to command. General Mallor, order the Imperial Fleet to retreat. There are to be no more unnecessary casualties. Then concentrate your ground troops on Lady Memory's army of savages so that they may not take the citadel. But leave the Legion to me."
"My empress, forgive me for saying this, but that is a suicidal move." blurted the General.
"Perhaps it is." agreed Tasmia to her cousin's surprise. "Perhaps I have grown weary of trying to hold together a people who seemingly refuse to come together, despite my best efforts over the years at uniting them. But if I am to fall, then let me go down fighting. That is all."
"As you command." replied the General, with an unmistakeable tone of resignation.
Later, Tasmia stood silent and stoic atop the highest tower of the capital city's citadel, waiting for the Legion to arrive and descend on her. Below, the deadly and massive explosions of the battle between her army and Lady Memory's resistance seemed little more that orange and yellow puffballs to her.
When she returned her gaze to the night sky, she found it pockmarked with gaudy colors. The Legion of Super-Heroes were here.
She recognized the one who took the point as Powerhouse. As he divebombed her, he seemingly shook off her shadow-bolts. No matter, she thought, wait until he is in close quarters.
And, indeed, when Powerhouse penetrated the narrow space atop the tower, it spelled his doom. As he lunged at Tasmia, enormous shadow tendrils emerged from behind her, wrapping themselves around him and ultimately dismembering him.
"First blood goes to me, Legionnaires!" shouted Tasmia defiantly. "If you are wise you shall leave! If you are not, then I shall kill every one of you! Make your choice now!"
TO BE CONCLUDED
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Re: The Book of Talok
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 17,872
More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
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OP
More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 17,872 |
FATE IN THREES (Part 6 of 6)
The Legion of Super-Heroes responded to Tasmia's challenge by mounting an all-out assault against her. Wildfire's anti-energy blasts blew up the top of the tower where Tasmia was, but she turned out to have shielded herself with a force-field made of the shadows she commanded. Tasmia retracted the force-field and reshaped it into a pair of wings. She flew right at Dawnstar, who easily dodged her, swooping behind her and hitting Tasmia hard.
Tasmia's response was to create a battleaxe made of shadow matter. She swung it with all her might, cleaving off Dawnstar's right wing.
"Mother!" yelled Daliah Burroughs, one of the Twin Stars. She fired solar heat blasts at Tasmia, but barely grazed one of her shadow wings. Now Tasmia fired a shadow bolt point blank at Daliah, who fainted and had to be rescued from a free-fall by her sister Dorian.
Suddenly, Tasmia felt herself becoming caught in a wind funnel. This could only be Nightwind's doing. Lamprey took aim at Tasmia and fired an electroshock burst, but Tasmia formed a shadow-matter shield just in time.
Then, Tasmia reshaped the shield into a javelin which she threw at Lamprey, impaling the Legionnaire, who plummeted to the ground. As Lamprey's best friend Nightwind turned her attention to breaking Lamprey's fall with the wind currents, Tasmia fired twin shadow bolts which killed Nightwind instantly.
Unexpectedly, Tasmia felt herself being ensnared by a mechanical arm created by Quislet, who had possessed the entire citadel and reshaped it into the arm. This gave Tellus a chance to aim his mind-blast at Tasmia, temporarily stunning her into semi-consciousness.
But just as Wildfire and his daughters were moving in for the kill, the giant arm disintegrated, as Quislet's constructs never lasted long. Tasmia fired a barrage of shadow-bolts at them, and managed to wound Wildfire, who retreated.
"You're our last hope, girls." he said to the Twin Stars as he flew away. "You've gotta avenge the fallen Legionnaires."
The girls knew they had to combine their powers, even though the results were always dangerously unpredictable. If they weren't careful, they could blow up a huge chunk of the planet.
Tasmia had prepared herself for this contingency the best she could. She drew on all her power to create one mighty super-powerful shadow bolt which collided with the equally powerful star-bolt fired by the Twin Stars. The resulting shockwave sent Tasmia and the Twin Stars flying backward, until gravity took over and they all started falling.
Tasmia fought desperately to stay conscious, using her shadow wing constructs to stay aloft. She narrowly managed to avoid hitting the ground, but her landing was far from smooth and she broke her left arm.
As the pain racked her body, she could see the surviving members of the resistance racing towards her and surrounding her. Grev and the armies at his command had failed Tasmia.
She remained defiantly stoic to the end, even as it look as if her now-former subject wanted to tear her to pieces. But then they went quiet and stepped aside to allow Lady Memory to come forward.
"We are not going to kill you." she hissed at Tasmia. "You deserve a fate worse than death."
Tasmia gasped as she realized what was about to happen. But there was nothing she could do to stop the excruciating feeling of having all her worst memories pierce her psyche like millions of arrows fired at once. As she relived all of the tyrannical actions which had made her ruler of Talok VIII, she closed her eyes and screamed bloody murder.
Then she felt hands holding on to her shoulders, and she opened her eyes to see Lydea's serene face.
"By the seven moons!" Tasmia gasped. "I would have become as bad as all the villains I ever fought."
"So do you see now, child?" inquired Lydea. "There are innumerable alternate fates, each far worse than the life you have lived until now."
"Yes." whispered Tasmia. "I must accept my destiny."
"Indeed. Go now, Tasmia, and continue to live as you have lived your entire life so far. The future is what you make of it."
"Thank you, greatest of all ancestors."
As Tasmia exited the cave and breathed in the fresh air, she felt relieved, renewed, and revitalized. She would seek out the Legion, to rejoin them and serve them with pride.
NEVER THE END
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Re: The Book of Talok
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 84,985
Unseen, not unheard
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Unseen, not unheard
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 84,985 |
I just read the first two parts of your JLA story, and I am so happy you used this incarnation of the team! Lots of wasted opportunities there. Kimiyo and Donna play off so well against each other, both are "big sisterly" figures in a way but Kimiyo is more logical and harsh while Donna is more motherly.
Mikaal and Congorilla, you captured their friendship really well. I always wished we could see more of them.
You captued hotheaded Green Arrow well, and I love the bit where Dick secretly jumps for joy at the praise.
And I love Mon-El's strong convictions about the mission.
The surprise reveal of Despero was also well done.
Can't wait to read the next bits!
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Re: The Book of Talok
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 84,985
Unseen, not unheard
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Unseen, not unheard
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 84,985 |
Just finished your JLA story! Once again I am amazed at your ability to move the action along in a very concise manner, yet still keep everything so fast-paced. Loved the teamwork and how each member got something important to do without getting lost in the shuffle.
Dr. Light's draining of Mon-El was amazing, a maneuver that I can very much see happening in the comics! And yes, Kimiyo is the one who could pull such a feat off.
Your line about fewer things angering an Amazon more than abuse of power also rings true.
Poor Lydea, I suppose she was corrupted by Despero? I am glad she came through, though.
And I loved the ending, with Mik deciding to help the Taloks. Very nice, and his reluctance also fits in with his characterization.
Very nicely done, Fanfie!
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Re: The Book of Talok
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 17,872
More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
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OP
More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 17,872 |
Thank you, Ibby.
It gladdens my heart to get a thumbs-up from a major Kimiyo fan like you.
I may revisit that JLA lineup someday. I was very happy with the way that story turned out. And thanks for noting the Ollie/Dick interaction. That's one of the bits I'm proudest of.
Looking forward to finding out what you think of the new Tasmia story.
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Re: The Book of Talok
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 84,985
Unseen, not unheard
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Unseen, not unheard
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 84,985 |
Read the first two entries of Tasmia's story, Fanfie. I must say, these alternate realities are wonderful stroytelling tool!
Shady's reactions are very interesting and quite tree. She can be quite snappish when angry/hurt/sad, but in battle or in an emergency she always keeps her wits and focus about her.
Kudos also for letting Mon-El resist Glorith's brainwashing. I just wonder, couldn't all those sorcerers have rescued Mon from the Phantom Zone?
I love how you used the Postboot element of having Tasmia's ancestors appear to her in the Cave. It makes things so much more vivid.
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Re: The Book of Talok
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 17,872
More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
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OP
More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 17,872 |
Ibby, that's a legitimate plot hole, and I appreciate you pointing it out. That's one of the many reasons I love getting feedback on my stories, it helps me evolve as a writer. Glad you enjoyed. Can't wait to find out what you think of Shady Brainy.
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Re: The Book of Talok
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 84,985
Unseen, not unheard
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Unseen, not unheard
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 84,985 |
I'm glad I was able to help constructively, and thanks for appreciating the feedback, Fanfie! Perhaps, if Glorith had done something to alter Mon-El's form before he was dumped in the Phantom Zone, he could not have been rescued. I cannot wait myself! I plan to continue reading over the weekend, as soon as I finish the work I need to do
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Re: The Book of Talok
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 84,985
Unseen, not unheard
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Unseen, not unheard
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Just read the Brainy scenario! What an interesting take on that! Imagine Supergirl doing that, certainly was unusual of her to feel such hatred, as she herself said! A dishonotable discharge seems too harsh, but Tasmia's demonstrated cattiness helps justify it. Love the nod to the Tinya friendship. Great battle scene too.
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Re: The Book of Talok
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 84,985
Unseen, not unheard
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Unseen, not unheard
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I think Empress Tasmia was my fave sequence yet. I liked your Legion lineup, am always a fan of Nightwind and Lamprey. Powerhouse is a good name for Jed. Wildfire in a human body simulacra, and the Twin Stars being a homage to the Wonder Twins and Aurora/Northstar is nice, but I love that they are formidable individually too.
I loved how Empress Tasmia still had good intentions. I found it believable she would have eventually gone down that path.
Great story, Fanfie! Good healing for Tasmia.
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Re: The Book of Talok
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 17,872
More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
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OP
More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 17,872 |
Just read the Brainy scenario! What an interesting take on that! Imagine Supergirl doing that, certainly was unusual of her to feel such hatred, as she herself said! There's a little bit of Satan Girl in all superheroines. Did you like the idea that Brainy creates a version of Omega in every reality? A dishonotable discharge seems too harsh, but Tasmia's demonstrated cattiness helps justify it. Yeah, bear your claws once too often and you'll end up declawed. Love the nod to the Tinya friendship. Thank you. I was quite proud of that. I hadn't written a major battle scene like that in such a long time, that I admit I agonized a bit over it. Glad it turned out to you liking. I think Empress Tasmia was my fave sequence yet. Thanks. I'm proud of the way all three scenario's turned out, but I'm especially proud of the last one. I liked your Legion lineup, am always a fan of Nightwind and Lamprey. Powerhouse is a good name for Jed. Wildfire in a human body simulacra, and the Twin Stars being a homage to the Wonder Twins and Aurora/Northstar is nice, but I love that they are formidable individually too. I felt bad that I had to either kill or maim the majority of them, but that's what the story dictated. And I tried to be careful to leave as much to the imagination as possible. At the risk of sounding arrogant, I think Drake, Dawny, and their twin daughters deserve a story of their own. I loved how Empress Tasmia still had good intentions. I found it believable she would have eventually gone down that path. Yeah, the whole scenario was based loosely on Post-Revolutionary France, with Tasmia as a female Napoleon Bonaparte. Great story, Fanfie! Good healing for Tasmia. Thank you so much, Ibby. I believe it's much more in character for her to move on from Mon-El's death, instead of mourning for years.
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Re: The Book of Talok
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 84,985
Unseen, not unheard
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Unseen, not unheard
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Posts: 84,985 |
Did you like the idea that Brainy creates a version of Omega in every reality?
I noticed the name as well! I find it quite clever that Supergirl chose the name Omega. Funny how this Omega was not Brainy's intentional creation, but in some way still his fault. I reckon he could have chosen his words better when breaking up with poor Kara. I liked your Legion lineup, am always a fan of Nightwind and Lamprey. Powerhouse is a good name for Jed. Wildfire in a human body simulacra, and the Twin Stars being a homage to the Wonder Twins and Aurora/Northstar is nice, but I love that they are formidable individually too. I felt bad that I had to either kill or maim the majority of them, but that's what the story dictated. And I tried to be careful to leave as much to the imagination as possible. At the risk of sounding arrogant, I think Drake, Dawny, and their twin daughters deserve a story of their own. [/quote] Would love to read more about their family, yes. The body count was not too high, I think, and I agree that the story dictated it. It would not have been realistic to have none of them die.
Thank you so much, Ibby. I believe it's much more in character for her to move on from Mon-El's death, instead of mourning for years.
I quite agree. Shady can be emotional but she is also a very strong woman. Certainly, she should not have been moping for, say, 5 years...
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Re: The Book of Talok
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 5,866
Wanderer
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Wanderer
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 5,866 |
Hey Raquel, this is great fun - Brainy and Shady just don't belong together and this proves it. Omega as a angry red K altered Super Girl is a great idea, though Brainy seemed a bit easy to persuade to drop poor Kara. It's tempting to speculate that in Shady he saw a more physical, so unknown, relationship developing. Are Coluan young men walking hormones like humans? The line "No one hurts each other more than adolescents. Add super-powers to the mix, and serious consequnces are inevitable." is perhaps my favourite as the simple truth is the legion would be an incestuous infighting group if they really existed - as they have no formal chaperones or even real adult guidance it's probably most surprising that there were no teenage pregnancies or on staff STI nurse in their HQ. The older Tasmia as the planetary ruler was quite a sad cautionary tale, though it was my favourite of the three, if only just for the Twin Stars and Tasmia creating 'shadow-matter' - I like that phrase, it fits very well. Lady Memory making her re-live her desperate actions was a cruel though fitting ending. Be great to hear your thoughts on my Legion World stories, much like you and all the other writers here, feedback is always gratefully appreciated. Great stuff Fanfie, I'm looking forward to reading more, more, more from you.
Legion Worlds NINE - wait, there's even more ongoing amazing adventures? Yup, and you'll only find them in the Bits o' Legionnaire Business Forum.
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Re: The Book of Talok
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 17,872
More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
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OP
More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 17,872 |
Thank you so much for your feedback, Caron. And I promise I will catch up on your stories and comment. Hey Raquel, this is great fun - Brainy and Shady just don't belong together and this proves it. Omega as a angry red K altered Super Girl is a great idea, though Brainy seemed a bit easy to persuade to drop poor Kara. It's tempting to speculate that in Shady he saw a more physical, so unknown, relationship developing. Are Coluan young men walking hormones like humans? I would say that one can never underestimate the sex drive of a repressed intellectual, no matter what planet they're from. And I'm glad you liked the Omega reference. The line "No one hurts each other more than adolescents. Add super-powers to the mix, and serious consequnces are inevitable." is perhaps my favourite as the simple truth is the legion would be an incestuous infighting group if they really existed - as they have no formal chaperones or even real adult guidance it's probably most surprising that there were no teenage pregnancies or on staff STI nurse in their HQ. Agreed 100%. And thanks for the compliment. The older Tasmia as the planetary ruler was quite a sad cautionary tale, though it was my favourite of the three, if only just for the Twin Stars and Tasmia creating 'shadow-matter' - I like that phrase, it fits very well. Lady Memory making her re-live her desperate actions was a cruel though fitting ending. Glad it was your favorite. Glad, too, that you like Tasmia's shadow-matter powers. And I'm thrilled that the Twin Stars got such a good response from both you and Ibby. I will definitely make the Drake/Dawny/Twin Stars fanfic a priority.
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Re: The Book of Talok
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 17,872
More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
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OP
More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 17,872 |
RUDE AWAKENING (Prologue)
NOTE: This story takes place in Preboot continuity, in an alternate timeline which deviates after the Magic Wars, and it follows immediately after the last story in this thread, FATE IN THREES.
Tasmia Mallor, the Legionnaire known as Shadow Lass, had been finding out these past few days that mourning a lost love was more of a burden some days than others.
Today, as the commercial cruiser she was a passenger aboard began its descent into the stratosphere of the planet Earth, it was definitely less of a burden.
The sight of the painful, tedious process of planetary reconstruction after the devastation of the Magic Wars, with ordinary sentients and metas alike pitching in to help, was heartening. One day, the debris would be cleared, the buildings would be standing tall, and the machines upon which society so very much depended on would be humming blissfully once again.
And more than anything, Tasmia felt that it put her situation into perspective. The love of her life, Mon-El, may have been gone forever, but of what import were her problems in the bigger cosmic picture, she asked herself.
She then sighed, knowing that there would soon be another day to come when the answers did not come as easily and she felt as though she were once again at the edge of the abyss of despair. It took all of her Talokian-forged inner strength to prevent herself from thinking that way.
As the pilot announced the landing through the ship's crackling speakers, and the ship threatened to begin spiraling out of control at any point during its awkward descent, Tasmia closed her eyes and prayed to her ancestors that she would reach her ultimate destination: the headquarters of the Legion of Super-Heroes...or at least what remained of it.
CONTINUED
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Re: The Book of Talok
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 17,872
More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
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OP
More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 17,872 |
RUDE AWAKENING (Part 1 of 12)
As Tasmia had hoped, the headquarters of the Legion of Super-Heroes in central Metropolis was still standing. But there was no getting past the fact that this once-proud building now made for a sorry sight, its outer façade filthy, cracked, distorted, and pockmarked with xenophobic graffiti.
Tasmia was obligated to make her way through a crowd of anti-Legion demonstrators. Anyone who shoved or bumped into her was met by her icy glare, which caused them to back off; but the anger inside her burned so blazingly bright that she would have resorted to physical force if necessary.
Ahead, she saw a small group of Legionnaires -- Ultra Boy, Timber Wolf, Lightning Lass, Shrinking Violet, and Tasmia's best friend Phantom Girl -- attempting to negotiate with the protesters, and the crowd's hostility went up and down in relation to how much the Legion appeared to be succeeding moment by moment.
Suddenly, Tasmia saw Phantom Girl rushing toward her and yelling her name. Tasmia took her friend's hand, and Phantom Girl's phasing power helped get the two young women through the crowd with a minimum of fuss. Once they were safely inside headquarters, Tasmia set free her frustration.
"Ungrateful rabble!" she hissed. "It sickens me that even in these supposedly enlightened times, the mob mentality survives."
Phantom Girl forced a smile and tried to change the subject. "It's so great to see you, Tasmia. I was worried about you, we all were."
Tasmia responded with a hug, unusual for her even towards her best friend. Phantom Girl's eyes widened in shock, and didn't return to normal until Tasmia said, "It is great to see you, too. Much has changed for me, some for the better, some for the worse..."
"Oh, my gods." choked Phantom Girl, "Then Mon-El is..."
"Yes."
"I'm so sorry."
"Thank you. I try to take it one day at a time."
"My condolences, Tasmia." said Ultra Boy over his shoulder as he raced past the two young women and towards Wildfire, whose body language betrayed an anger to rival Tasmia's beneath his expressionless face-plate.
"Lemme guess," Wildfire sneered before Ultra Boy could get out a word, "playing nice isn't working. I told you so!"
"They have their rights..." retorted Ultra Boy.
"Of course they do!" Wildfire interrupted again. "But they're taking advantage of our goodwill to try to trample over OUR rights. And you know as well as I do that they're just puppets of the politicians. This has gone far enough. We have to get things back under control."
"I agree with Drake." interjected Timber Wolf, who had just entered the headquarters. "It's getting scary out there, and you know I don't scare easily. As deputy leader, I move for a show of force."
"And what exactly do you propose?" inquired Legion leader Sensor Girl, her full-face mask giving her a countenance as expressionless as Wildfire's.
"It's all in your hands, Jeckie." sighed Timber Wolf, gesturing towards Blok. "And he can be your living shield. You up for it, Pebble-Head?"
"Indeed." replied Blok.
For the next few minutes, Blok took bottles and rocks to the chest and face as he cleared a path into the center the mob. But he pressed on stoically, until he and Sensor Girl had arrived at their intended destination.
"Now," declared Sensor Girl, "look past the illusions fed you by the media, and see in your hearts and minds what any further hostility will bring."
The crowd was uniformly horrified to see Metropolis blanketed by smog, the city's irreparably ruinous state illuminated only by the radioactive glow of a few survivors of the apocalypse. Those protesters who didn't faint simply ran away screaming.
Once the streets were cleared, the Legionnaires quietly went back into their headquarters and sealed the entrance.
"Why...?" asked Tasmia, "...why did the Science Police do nothing to break up a potential riot?"
"The ones who haven't relocated are in the politicians' pockets." answered Wildfire morosely.
"Surely there must be a few honest ones left?"
"The honest ones all got killed off. No offense, Jan, I didn't want to open a can of worms, but she did ask..."
"By all the ancestors!" gasped Tasmia, turning to face a grim Element Lad. "You mean our liaison, Shvaughn, is dead??"
"Yes." whispered Element Lad as he closed his eyes, clenched his fists, and sighed softly in resignation at the cruel blow fate had dealt his romance.
CONTINUED
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Re: The Book of Talok
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 84,985
Unseen, not unheard
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Unseen, not unheard
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Oh my! Shvaughn is dead! I'm such a big fan, so this is a shock, but I'm sure you have more behind it.
Well done, loved the disagreements between the Legionnaires. Tasmia being strong yet vulnerable is so very her, and her close friendship with Tinya is again a welcome sight.
Looking forward to what comes next.
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Re: The Book of Talok
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 17,872
More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
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OP
More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
Joined: Jul 2005
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Thank you, Ibby.
It's never easy for me to kill off a character that I like, but this story necessitated it.
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Re: The Book of Talok
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 17,872
More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
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OP
More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
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I may or may not finish that story I started, but in the meantime I'd like to post images of real-life women and other comic book characters who remind me of Tasmia. If Nightcrawler (who created my avatar using a picture of Mexican actress/singer Patricia Manterola which I provided) or anyone else wants to give these images the blue-skin treatment, I welcome it. I'll start with Victoria Justice, who would be my first choice to play her in a Legion movie if that ever happens:
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Re: The Book of Talok
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 17,872
More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
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OP
More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 17,872 |
Magdalene, an obscure Marvel anti-heroine created by Bob Harras & Steve Epting during their Avengers run, is what I picture Tasmia looking like in battle armor:
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