Legion World Forums LEGION CLUBHOUSE The Legion of Super-Heroes Long Live the Legion! Matter-Eater Lad is the fourth lamest super-hero ever!

I was channel-surfing the other day and happened across a show on G4 (the video game network) that was doing a countdown of the 10 lamest super-heroes of all time. I was delighted/enraged that ME-Lad ranked #4 on their list!

The host (who was a sockpuppet?? Ive never seen this show before) was at least quite knowledgable about Tenzil. He mentioned that ME-Lad was a legionnaire from the 30th century and from the planet Bismol.

He also raised the interesting point that if Tenzil were in a position to take a bite out of some alien's laser gun, then why dosen't he just take the gun from him? (the image used for Tenzil was that DC Cosmic Teams Trading Card).

Wish I knew the name of this show, or if it were a rerun or not, but alas, I've no idea. I guess it kinda counts as a AR legion appearence of sorts.

I suspect the sockpuppet just made Lasher's hit list Top Ten!

Who were the other lamest superheroes?

The "ethnic" Superfriends collectively placed as #1.

The Whizzer (GA Marvel character) was ranked as lamer than ME-Lad. I came in late to the countdown, so I don't recall anyothers.

Matter Eater lad ranked lamer than arms fall-off boy?

As long as Bouncing Boy wasn't on the list...

went to google to find out and if you mean like this: here's the list that ME Lad is #4 among the lamest superheroes and you all should feel honored that HE is the ONLY legionnaire to be named among those heroes such as Blue Beetle, Superman (yes!), and others. enjoy!

As extracted from a website via google:

Lamest Super Heroes
I'm not in complete agreement with them, but Maxim has a list of the lamest super heroes ever. Don't bother going to their site, as they only tease you with # 21-25. You have to buy the magazine to get the rest (hmmm....maybe we could do a list of the lamest magazines ever). Anyway, I've thrown the whole list (thank you fark) up here. Click more to see it.

My favorite:

22. THE FLASH
Secret identity: Barry Allen
Origin: Simultaneously struck by lightning and doused with chemicals (What sign was this asshole born under?), Barry Allen became the fastest man alive, the Flash!
Power: He can run really fast. Also, no wait, thats it.
Why so lame: When a curb can defeat you, you're lame.

So what do you think? Who would you add/remove from the list and why?

30. Silver Surfer
Status: Member of the Defenders
Secret identity: Norrin Rad
Origin: In exchange for planet-eating Galactus sparing his home world of Zenn-la, Norrin Rad became his lackey, the Silver Surfer. Eventually, he defies the gargantuan planet hog and starts using his power for good.
Power: He has superstrength, invulnerability, and can shoot beams of the power cosmic. Also has great balance.
Why so lame: More like a living billboard for sports drinks, the Silver Surfer always looked like he was traversing the cosmos buck naked. And why would an alien space traveler have a surfboard anyway?

29. Blue Beetle
Status: Member of the Justice League of America
Secret identity: Ted Kord
Origin: Ted Kord, former chairman of the board of KORD Inc., uses his electronic genius to fight crime as the Blue Beetle.
Power: Hes got none, but he does own a buttload of giant beetle-shaped gadgets and vehicles.
Why so lame: He's a little too in love with his whole bizarre Beetle motif. Its not as if beetles are extraordinary bugs or anything. Now, Crimson Caterpillar, thats a name!

28. Green Lantern
Status: Member of the Justice League of America
Secret identity: Multiple; currently Kyle Rayner
Origin: One of over 3,000 members comprising the Corps, Green Lantern of Space Sector 2814 protects Earth, the surrounding cosmos, and the Diamond District.
Power: A ring that can create force fields, cast destructive beams, heal the wounded, and make the gals at the parlor positively green with envy.
Why so lame: His superpowers come from battery-powered jewelry. Most degradingly, hes defenseless against the color yellow. If you should encounter the Lantern, shower him in spray butter. While he obsessive-compulsively polishes his ring, run.

27. Darkman
Status: Probably lurking somewherewatch behind you!
Secret identity: Peyton Westlake
Origin: Hideously burned by gangsters who were ransacking his laboratory, Darkman lurks in the shadows, fighting injustice and changing his face more often than his underwear.
Power: Synthetic skin enables Darkman to assume different identities but only for brief amounts of time. Hes alsowhats the term? totally farking nuts.
Why so lame: A walking plastic surgery disaster? What kind of hero is that?!

26. The Phantom
Status: Former member of the Defenders of the Earth
Secret identity: Kit Walker
Origin: After witnessing his parents killed by pirates (arrrh!), the mysterious Phantom, um, shakes his fist and threatens bad guys from his jungle hideout.
Power: Hes got no powers to speak of. He is known, though, to carry handguns, and he sports a ring with a skull on it. He also wears purple tights. Or would that be eggplant?
Why so lame: A pair of six-shooters and a trusty steed are fine if youre Clint Eastwood. But if youre a hermit in a unitard, it sucks.

25. SHE-RA
Secret identity: Princess Adora
Origin: He-Mans twin sister.
Power: She has superstrength, a flying pony, and roid-rage-fueled PMS.
Why so lame: When bad guys are hunky, she must remember to tape over her supernipples before getting into costume or theyll slice through the fabric, traumatizing children.

24. DAREDEVIL
Secret identity: Matt Murdock
Origin: Blinded by radioactive waste, Murdock swore to fight crime after goons murdered his boxer dad. Is also a lawyer.
Power: He has batlike radar sense that makes up for his lack of seeingness sort of.
Why so lame: Hes. A. Blind. Superhero. Whats next? Quadriplegic Stone Deaf Man?

23. CAPTAIN MARVEL
Secret identity: Billy Batson
Origin: A subway-dwelling wizard (yeah, sure, buddy) gave young Billy the ability to turn into an adult superhero.
Power: By saying Shazam!, Billy can fly and is invulnerable.
Why so lame: Is he a little boy who can become a grown man or vice versa? Either way you slice it, its icky.

22. THE FLASH
Secret identity: Barry Allen
Origin: Simultaneously struck by lightning and doused with chemicals (What sign was this asshole born under?), Barry Allen became the fastest man alive, the Flash!
Power: He can run really fast. Also, no wait, thats it.
Why so lame: When a curb can defeat you, youre lame.

21. INVISIBLE WOMAN
Secret identity: Sue Storm
Origin: On a rocket designed by her future husband, Reed Richards, Sue took a radiation bath that gave her superpowers. Which issuper!
Power: She can turn invisible and set up force fields.
Why so lame: Now, Inaudible Woman is something we could all get behind

20. MOON KNIGHT
Secret identities: Marc Spector, Steven Grant, Jake Lockley
Origin: Marc Spector gave up the soldier-of-fortune biz and invented several new identities, including Moon Knight.
Power: None.
Why so lame: What kind of nocturnal avenger wears all white? Why not just put blinking lights on your head, dork?

19. PUCK
Secret identity: Eugene Judd
Origin: Soldier of fortune (thats original) Eugene fell victim to an evil spirit that transformed him into a beefy midget. Doh!
Power: Hes very strong and can somersault ferociously.
Why so lame: Hes a midget in a leotard named for a chunk of rubber that gets slapped around by Canadians. Any questions?

18. HOURMAN
Secret identity: Rex Tyler
Origin: Rex developed an addictive miracle drug named Miraclo (duh!), which gives a person momentary superpowers.
Power: Strength, near-invulnerability, and speedfor an hour.
Why so lame: His powers can be nullified by a traffic delay. When taken in the bedroom, he becomes 30-second Man.

17. MAN-THING
Secret identity: Ted Sallis
Origin: A lab accident in a swamp turned biochemist Sallis into a lumbering heap of vegetation.
Power: Photosynthesis. His touch burns anyone who fears him. Looks pretty in the den, by the window.
Why so lame: He looks like something a vegan vomited up.

16. BLACK LIGHTNING
Secret identity: Jefferson Pierce
Origin: Jefferson acquired an electricity-generating superbelt to help him fight crime and dispense justice in the ghetto.
Power: Can generate electricity enough to power a small black-and-white television for up to 20 minutes.
Why so lame: Judging by Black Lightnings credentials (disco tights and funky belt), Bootsy Collins could be a superhero.

15. WONDER WOMAN
Secret identity: Princess Diana (no, not that one)
Origin: Chosen by the Amazons to serve as their crime-fighting champion in the world of Man.
Power: Superstrength, a pair of bullet-deflecting bracelets, and a gold lasso that makes people tell the truth. In other words, the girlfriend from hell.
Why so lame: PMS. See this star-spangled stripper in the parking lot, feeling around for her invisible jet? Back off.

14. SHE-HULK
Secret identity: Jennifer Walters
Origin: The Mob tried to rub out Jenny with a shower of bulletsLittle did they know her cousin was Bruce the Hulk Banner. After an emergency green-blood transfusion, Jennifer became the She-Hulk.
Power: She has superstrength; can pulverize any johnson between her mighty she-labia.
Why so lame: Basically, shes just a hot green chick. Yawn.

13. FIRESTORM
Secret identities: Ronny Raymond and Martin Stein
Origin: An accident fused the minds of student Ronny and professor Martin into one hero: Firestorm.
Power: He can fly and phase through solid objects.
Why so lame: Imagine trying to fight crime as a voice in your head corrects your grammar

12. THOR
Secret identity: Donald Blake
Origin: The son of the Norse god Odin, Thor was punished for his arrogance and forced to assume the part-time identity of a crippled medical student.
Power: He has superstrength, flight, and a magic hammer; has amazing blond hair with body and bounce!
Why so lame: Any superhero whod be played by Fabio should quit and start hitting the mead.

11. GREEN ARROW
Secret identity: Oliver Queen
Origin: Stuck on a deserted island, Oliver taught himself the hunting skills that hed later use to fight bad guys.
Power: He has incredible aimalso uses trick arrows that wear cute boxing gloves.
Why so lame: Archery skills were long ago left in the dust by more advanced weaponslike, oh, say, clubs.

10. SUPERMAN
Secret identity: Clark Kent
Origin: Kal-El, an orphan from the planet Krypton, was adopted by farmers the Kents.
Power: He can fly, and he possesses superstrength, invulnerability, X-ray vision, heat vision, freezing breathand two clanking balls of steel.
Why so lame: Hes a cornfed, holier-than-thou Boy Scout with a lame disguise. Cmon!

9. CAPTAIN PLANET
Secret identity: Sting (um, we think)
Origin: Summoned when five multiethnic kids combined the power of their rings, Captain Planet helps thwart ecovillains.
Power: He can fly, and he sports a green mullet; weaknesses include littering, toxic waste. Can never enter New Jersey.
Why so lame: Hes Greenpeaces own Superman!

8. APACHE CHIEF
Secret identity: Token Native American
Origin: Apache Chief was given his superabilities by his tribes medicine man.
Power: By saying a magic word, Apache Chief can grow 50 feet tall but as his costumes a loincloth, the view aint pretty.
Why so lame: Seems like more of a Mohegan Sun attraction than a superhero.

7. DR. HENRY PYM
Secret identity: Lessee, theres Yellowjacket, Ant-Man, Goliath
Origin: After thugs murdered his wife, Pym assumed a number of different superhero identities, all pathetic.
Power: Can become big or little. Has Napoleon and reverse-Napoleon complexes.
Why so lame: One awful identity is bad enough, but Pym has struck out four different times.

6. BANSHEE
Secret identity: Sean Cassidy
Origin: An Irish member of Interpol, Banshee actually got his start as a bad guy before Professor X sought him out to join the X-Men. Been fighting the good fight, downing Guinness, and pestering N Sync with his rsum ever since.
Power: His scream can shatter and destroy things, and he can fly. Banshee does not, however, have the gift of the blarney.
Why so lame: What? You mean besides the fact that hes known to villains as Shrieks-Like-a-Girl Man? Couldnt they come up with something better? Shillelagh Man wouldve been 10 times cooler.

5. DAZZLER
Secret identity: Alison Blaire
Origin: Using her hush-hush abilities, Dazzler became a famous disco singer, but the mirrored ball stopped turning when a boyfriend persuaded her to reveal to the world that she was a despised mutant. Typical.
Power: She can convert sound into brilliant displays of light and color. Ooh! Aah!
Why so lame: OK, youre a hardened crook, and whats that in the distance? A shining chick in a silver jumpsuit on roller skates zooming to irritate your corneas! Dazzler should have gone down with the disco ship. Fun fact: Is the only hero ever to have been spotted at Studio 54.

4. MATTER-EATER LAD
Secret identity: Tenzil Kem
Origin: Matter-Eater Lad was born on the toxic planet Bismoll (no word on its companion star Pepto), where the locals evolved superguts that enabled them to eat any substanceeven British food. Was allowed to join the Legion of Super-Heroes, who will apparently take just about anybody.
Power: Can consume any matteranimal, vegetable, or mineral. Is a big hit with the ladies.
Why so lame: Lets say Matter-Eater Lad was trapped in a steel-reinforced concrete vault. He could eat his way out of it. But those bowel movements

3. DOCTOR STRANGE
Secret identity: Stephen Strange
Origin: After a car accident impaired his abilities as a surgeon, Stephen Strange moved to N.Y.C.s fabulous West Village, hired an Asian manservant, and became asorcerer.
Power: He wears the fashionable Eye of Agamotto necklace that can do all sorts of plot-convenient things, like open up dimensional gateways. Also has a Swedish-porn-star mustache.
Why so lame: Dr. Strange is Dr. Ka-ray-zee! Looks like hed be comfortable in a kimono, sipping a martini before asking you to play strip Jenga with the rest of the hepcat swingers.

2. AQUAMAN
Secret identity: Arthur Curry
Origin: Aquaman was born to a mixed marriage: His father was an average Joe, and his mother was the deposed queen of an advanced underwater civilization. Devoted himself to crime fighting to avenge the death of his childhood sea monkeys or some shiat. Currently playing comic relief for a number of different supergroups.
Power: He can breathe underwater, swim fast, and, best of all, communicate with fish. Plus, his fingers never, ever get wrinkly.
Why so lame: Im trapped in a frigging tuna net again. Swordfish! Hear and obey! Stop laughing and cut me loose!

1. ROBIN
Status: Sidekick
Secret identity: Dick Grayson
Origin: Dick watched helplessly as his circus acrobat parents got whacked by some Gotham City gangsters. (Hey, we just figured out why!) Adopted by Bruce Wayne/Batman and vowing revenge, he became the fearsome, um, Boy Wonder. Evilsnickerbetter beware!
Power: He can swing from ropes, ride shotgun, tidy up the living room, and peek out from behind Batmans cape.
Why so lame: Robin isnt just lamehes hands-down the most embarrassing, useless, and completely ridiculous superhero ever. No powers, a femmy nickname, a figure-skater costume, and no actual responsibilities of his own. Why he wasnt super-wedgied a long time ago is beyond us.

Obviously, this is all a plot to make villains such as Omega and Evillo feel bad about themselves.

I could have sworn we've discussed this here before but the article was published in June 2003 (and is available at Maxim\'s site (NSFW)) so maybe it was at one of our previous stomping grounds.