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More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
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Since Teeds made a valid objection to having poop jokes in the Shout Box, I thought Legion World could use its own poop joke thread. So here we go... Ever heard of the incontinent rock-and-roll-loving hillbilly musician? He invented a new musical genre: CACABILLY!
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Time Trapper
Time Trapper
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Since Teeds made a valid objection to having poop jokes in the Shout Box, I thought Legion World could use its own poop joke thread. So here we go... Ever heard of the incontinent rock-and-roll-loving hillbilly musician? He invented a new musical genre: CACABILLY!
Huh. No shit?
Still "Lardy" to my friends!
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More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
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LOL
He did write a song called "Up Shit Creek". It's sounds kinda similar to "All Shook Up".
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More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
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Y'know, it occurs to me that the kids who did the Twist back in the day are now senior citizens with constipation problems."Let's poop again Like we did last summer Let's poop again Like we did last year
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Time Trapper
Time Trapper
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I fall into feces Each time I pee on you again I fall into feces Now can I just use your can?
The childhood friend Exnihil never had.
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More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
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LOL
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More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
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"Feces on the grass, alas." "I ain't no stinkin' fecal matter."
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strange but not a stranger
strange but not a stranger
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I've just gone through "House on Pooh Corner"
Big Dog! Big Dog! Bow Wow Wow!
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More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
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LOL
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Wanderer
Wanderer
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Posts: 5,267
I was playing a game with my 13-yr-old a few days ago. He did something unpleasant to me and I called him a coprolite. He understood it and thought it was funny. It now seems to be the family insult. Coprolite is fossilized feces, btw.
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Wanderer
Wanderer
Joined: Jul 2003
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Speaking of poop, did you know wombat poop is cubical? I have no idea how they manage this. Their excrement looks like little brown dice with rounded corners. I guess if wombats gamble, they're really shooting craps, huh?
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Unseen, not unheard
Unseen, not unheard
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Maybe nature evolved them that way so they have easy access to a pair of dice...
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More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
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To the tune of Marvin Gaye's "You" (or, rather, Three Dog Night's typically hammy cover of that same song):Poo Also called excrement It is so pestilent And no one can avoid the thankless task of making it I smell poo-oo-oo-oo...
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More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
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Joined: Jul 2014
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Humanoid from the Deep
Humanoid from the Deep
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Knock knock, Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mop who? You eat your poo? *ducks from tomato*
Last edited by Nostalgia Lad; 08/04/15 07:35 AM .
Keep up with what I've been
watching lately !
"Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio? Our nation turns its lonely eyes to you."
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More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
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"That's poopy. P-O-O-P-Y. Pestilent, offensive, odorous, putrid, and yucky."
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More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
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"It's Laxative Sam!" "Yeah, Laxative Sam! The roughest, toughest, poopiest, smelliest, gol-durn shittiest hombre that ever battled constipation. With one flush, I flood the whole nation!"
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More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
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"It's Laxative Sam!" "Yeah, Laxative Sam! The roughest, toughest, poopiest, smelliest, gol-durn shittiest hombre that ever battled constipation. With one flush, I flood the whole nation!"
"Eh...what's up, Doc? Say, have you ever thought of goin' into bizness manufacturin' fertilizer? I can be yer partner. I'll supply the Mexican food, and you'll pump out the fertilizer."
"Say, fer a long-eared varmint, yer okay. It's a deal. Let's shake on it."
(Much later, Sam is all skin and bones from pushin' it to the limit, while Bugs is rolling in money.)
"Hee hee hee hee...ain't I a stinker?"
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Tempus Fugitive
Tempus Fugitive
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Having just spent ages dealing with a litter box incident, I am unamused by this thread... so there.
"...not having to believe in a thing to be interested in it and not having to explain a thing to appreciate the wonder of it."
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More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
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Good thing you didn't read the April Dumaka litter box joke in the Legion forum's Akka thread, then!
Oh, hang on a minute...
Well, if I tried to please everybody, I'd have to change my name to Brianna Michaela Bendis.
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Tempus Fugitive
Tempus Fugitive
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thoth: cue a thread... Fickles:...where we all... thoth:..complete each other's sentences... Fickles: ..even though we're little talking heads... Quis: ...in separate rooms!
"...not having to believe in a thing to be interested in it and not having to explain a thing to appreciate the wonder of it."
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More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
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thoth: cue a thread... Fickles:...where we all... thoth:..complete each other's sentences... Fickles: ..even though we're little talking heads... Quis: ...in separate rooms!
Ha ha ha ha!!
So quintessentially Bendis!
Then, of course, there's the pacing that's so glacial it makes Jonathan Hickman read like Alan Grant.
And the loose ends, oh Gods, the loose ends!
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Tempus Fugitive
Tempus Fugitive
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But we get to be so snarky! Well, the one personality all the characters share gets to be.
"...not having to believe in a thing to be interested in it and not having to explain a thing to appreciate the wonder of it."
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More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 17,872
LOL Segueing back on topic: Calling Bendis's writing glorified toilet paper is an insult to toilet paper!! Well, maybe not South American toilet paper, which is...yeesh. But definitely an insult to North American toilet paper.
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Tempus Fugitive
Tempus Fugitive
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I saw an ad for old toilet paper...actually I mean that the ad was old, not that they were selling used toilet paper*... Anyway, its selling point was that it was splinter free. It wasn't that long ago. 1930s/40s Yikes! *Collect 4 and send away for your free DCNu plot.
"...not having to believe in a thing to be interested in it and not having to explain a thing to appreciate the wonder of it."
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 17,872
More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
Joined: Jul 2005
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Joined: Jul 2005
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More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 17,872
(Song parody below inspired by Legion World's most fantastically filthy mind, Pov (Thanks!!) )It's such a small turd The struggle is so absurd It takes the midnight flush going anywhere I get overjoyed When something comes out of my void It takes the midnight flush going anywhere A stinker in a sweaty room The smell is worse than cheap perfume Sitting on the can the entire night It goes on and on and on and on... T.P. wiping Up and down my filthy butt-crack Bowels aching From the fight Steaming feces Waiting for the next bowel motion Hiding somewhere in my guts... DON'T STOP RELIEVING HOLD ON TO THAT TOILET SEAT UH STEAMING FECES UH, UNH, URGH, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...
Joined: Sep 2016
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Wanderer
Wanderer
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Posts: 5,250
I now want an Imodium shot...no bartender make that a double.
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More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
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JPops, LOL
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More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
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I'm crazy for tryin'... ...crazy for cryin'... ...crazy... ...for loving... ...poop jokes
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Gen X > Space X
Gen X > Space X
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I bet this thread could grow an AMAZING Legion World Victory Garden.
Hey, Kids! My "Cranky and Kitschy" collage art is now viewable on ipernity ! Drop by and tell me that I sent you. *updated often!*
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Tempus Fugitive
Tempus Fugitive
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"...not having to believe in a thing to be interested in it and not having to explain a thing to appreciate the wonder of it."
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 6,827
Fighting Back
Fighting Back
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Posts: 6,827
Lately, I have developed a great appreciation for rap music... HA HA HA HA HA HA HA I knew I wouldn't be able to keep a straight face. Anyhow, here's the official "Litter Box Rap," inspired by Emma Stone's (painfully bad) rapping at the end of "The House Bunny."Now, when I pee and poop and fart It always makes you wanna barf I can't help that it smells so bad I've still got issues with my dad I need to drop another bomb There's also problems with my mom
Still "Fickles" to my friends.
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Fighting Back
Fighting Back
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A tongue-twister, inspired by
this. (Thanks, Lardy.)
"Princess Projectra projectile-pooped a pile of poopy."
Still "Fickles" to my friends.
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Fighting Back
Fighting Back
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If you enjoyed
this, you'll love..."Journey's Greatest Shits:"
"Poopin', Wipin', Flushin'"
"Who's Crapping Now?"
"Any Kind of Caca"
"Fecally"
"Poops Like a Lady"
"Open Arse"
"Pestilent Ways (Turds and Farts)"
"Only the Dung"
Plus, bonus tracks: Steve Poopy's duet with Kenny Log-Drops, "Dump Fighting," and his solo hit "Oh, Smelly."
Still "Fickles" to my friends.
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Fighting Back
Fighting Back
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Unlike Journey, I actually like Genesis. Quite a bit, in fact.
But even good bands come up with the odd stinker.
"Pooper late, pooper late Pooper late, pooper late Pooper late, oh, I'm sorry but there's nothing in the can Pooper late, oh, I'm sorry, but rest easy, no poop is good poop Oh, it's easy to crap like clockwork Tick tock watching the turd spiral down Any change would take too long So zip your pants Ooh, it's too easy to live in a cold sweat Just sitting dropping feces below You can wipe your ass Kill the pain But the odor won't go, no, no Pooper late, pooper late..."
Still "Fickles" to my friends.
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Fighting Back
Fighting Back
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"Why couldn't McPoopy have made a turd two inches longer?" "And why couldn't McPoopy have made a turd even ONE inch longer?"(It's an obscure Charlie Brown reference)
Still "Fickles" to my friends.
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Fighting Back
Fighting Back
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Summer poopin', Had me a blast Summer poopin', Happened so fast...
Still "Fickles" to my friends.
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Fighting Back
Fighting Back
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Q: What do people in New Orleans sing when they have diarrhea? A: "I go, I go all day."
Still "Fickles" to my friends.
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Fighting Back
Fighting Back
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Forget the Tunguska Event. What about the Toon Goose Ka-Ka Event?
Still "Fickles" to my friends.
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Posts: 85,830
Unseen, not unheard
Unseen, not unheard
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Donald Duck finally gave Gladstone Gander his comeuppance during that famous event.
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Fighting Back
Fighting Back
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Yes, indeed.
Gladstone's luck finally ran out on him.
("Ran" in more than one sense.)
(Thanks, Ibby.)
Still "Fickles" to my friends.
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Unseen, not unheard
Unseen, not unheard
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(Any time Fanfie
)
I do enjoy Gladstone Gander getting a little bit of bad luck, now and then. He's a bit too smug for my taste.
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Fighting Back
Fighting Back
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Turd so good Come on, baby, make a turd so good Sometimes poop don't smell like it should You make a (UNH) Turd so good
Still "Fickles" to my friends.
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Fighting Back
Fighting Back
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Putting this one inside a spoiler box with a Not-Safe-For-Kids / Not-Safe-For-Work warning. Even I find it rather disturbing, and I'm the one who thought it up!
It's a living thing What a terrible thing to poo It's a vicious thing They won't hold it in any zoo
Still "Fickles" to my friends.
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Fighting Back
Fighting Back
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"Ist das deine Kacke, Herr Kommissar?"
Still "Fickles" to my friends.
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Fighting Back
Fighting Back
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"Poo in toilet, poo-poo in toilet Call the plumber, can't be avoided"
Still "Fickles" to my friends.
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Posts: 31,872
Tempus Fugitive
Tempus Fugitive
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 31,872
Bad word warning...
Today the Pooper Scooper sh!tes are gonna find me Steaming in the sun (Poo-p-er Scoo-p-er) Making stomachs turn (Poo-p-er Scoo-p-er) Looking like a number one
With apologies to Abba, as I volunteered for dog walking this weekend. Hopefully it won't come to actually doing it.
"...not having to believe in a thing to be interested in it and not having to explain a thing to appreciate the wonder of it."
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Fighting Back
Fighting Back
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LOL
Thanks, Thoth.
Still "Fickles" to my friends.
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Posts: 29,256
Time Trapper
Time Trapper
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Dookie is always gross...unless it's a Green Day album! (Watch it, Fick!
)
Still "Lardy" to my friends!
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Posts: 40,846
Trap Timer
Trap Timer
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 40,846
Ain't nobody got the time to listen to that boy whine.
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Fighting Back
Fighting Back
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Green is the color of cow and horse poop.
Still "Fickles" to my friends.
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 29,256
Time Trapper
Time Trapper
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 29,256
ICYMI on the Kill This Thread thread, a tribute to bidets........
She had a haaand held bidet The kind you find in a home improvement store She had a haaand held bidet If you squirt your ass, it is clean once more She had a haaand held bidet I think I loooooove her! Can you spot the source song?
Still "Lardy" to my friends!
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Fighting Back
Fighting Back
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Thanks, Lardy. I was hoping you'd share that song parody in this thread, but I was shy about asking.
Still "Fickles" to my friends.
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Time Trapper
Time Trapper
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So.....what do y'all think about long, solid dookies being referred to as "butt sausages"?
Still "Lardy" to my friends!
Joined: Dec 2008
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Gen X > Space X
Gen X > Space X
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Posts: 25,675
Not buttwursts? ... I'll just show myself out.
Hey, Kids! My "Cranky and Kitschy" collage art is now viewable on ipernity ! Drop by and tell me that I sent you. *updated often!*
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Fighting Back
Fighting Back
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Johnny "Rotten" Lydon calls them "truncheons."
Still "Fickles" to my friends.
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Fighting Back
Fighting Back
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To the tune of Greg Kihn's "The Breakup Song (They Don't Write 'Em)":Didn't know if I'd ever take another shit Caca-caca-caca-caca Felt my stomach rumble, and I said, "THIS IS IT!" Caca-caca-caca-caca They don't crap 'em that way anymore! They don't crap 'em that way anymore!
Still "Fickles" to my friends.
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Fighting Back
Fighting Back
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Wow, I have been remiss. My last song parody was almost a year ago. Well, I've got a new one and it's a doo doo doozy. To the tune of the Four Seasons "Working My Way Back to You" I keep pooping my way back to you, babe With a burning ass on fire I'm pooping my way back to you, babe And those skid marks ain't from tires I defecate awaaaaaaay...
Still "Fickles" to my friends.
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Posts: 25,675
Gen X > Space X
Gen X > Space X
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Posts: 25,675
Too much hot sauce'll do that... especially if you haven't had any in a long time. Tsk!
Hey, Kids! My "Cranky and Kitschy" collage art is now viewable on ipernity ! Drop by and tell me that I sent you. *updated often!*
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Fighting Back
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Too much hot sauce'll do that... especially if you haven't had any in a long time. Tsk!
LOL Now I'm imagining Fire Lad singing like Frankie Valli.
Still "Fickles" to my friends.
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Fighting Back
Fighting Back
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To the tune of Dream Academy's "Life in a Northern Town," I cried out with an expletive Because I only had one laxative It would never be enough to get me...pooping... Ah, heya, caca caca Middle of the night, oh Ah, heya, caca caca Middle of the night, oh Ah, heya, caca caca, hey, ah... Wish I could move my bowels
Still "Fickles" to my friends.
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Fighting Back
Fighting Back
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Master of Pooping Sad But Poo Enter Shitman Until I Shit Nothing Else Splatters Wherever I May Crap Creeping Stench For Whom the Smell Told Dung
Still "Fickles" to my friends.
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Fighting Back
Fighting Back
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Are you pooping, are you pooping, Brother John, Brother John?
Still "Fickles" to my friends.
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Wanderer
Wanderer
Joined: May 2013
Posts: 7,526
"Toilet bowl is ringing, toilet bowl is ringing, plop plop plop, plop plop plop."
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Unseen, not unheard
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Sounds like a healthy plop, at least!
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Time Trapper
Time Trapper
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Posts: 12,870
I had soup for dinner and spent the rest of the night on the can. Makes sense, it was Shit aki mushroom soup. Okay, I gotta runs.
Damn you, you kids! Get off my lawn or I'm callin' tha cops! Something pithy!
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Unseen, not unheard
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Dang that S* mushrooms my husband fell to raw fish last time. he was sick for nearly a week
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Fighting Back
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"Hey, Rocky, watch me go to the bathroom in my hat!" "AGAIN?"
Still "Fickles" to my friends.
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Unseen, not unheard
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I hope this was not directed towards our dear Legion Worlder, Rockhopper Lad!
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No, no, it was a reference to a recurring comedy routine on the old Rocky & Bullwinkle cartoon: "Hey, Rocky, watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat!" "AGAIN?" I would *never* disrespect Rockhopper Lad!
Still "Fickles" to my friends.
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Unseen, not unheard
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oh of course not! I was just making a silly joke
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Okay, thanks for clarifying. I feel better now.
Still "Fickles" to my friends.
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Unseen, not unheard
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of course, and I apologize for making you feel a bit bad! I'll remember to be clearer about indicating that i'm only joking
Annfie!
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"I hate myself for loving poo Can't get nearly enough doo-doo I get so happy when the runs possess you That's why I hate myself for loving POO"
Still "Fickles" to my friends.
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Posts: 7,526
Wanderer
Wanderer
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VIDEO
(Incidentally safe video, just a funny commercial)
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LOL
That reminds me of the 80s video game Crazy Climber, where a guy trying to climb to the top of a building is bombarded by, among other things, bird poop. (I'm sure some will claim they were supposed to be eggs, but anyone can tell what they really were.)
Bird attack at around 02:25:
VIDEO
EDIT: If you enjoyed that, and if you have 22 minutes to spare, this is the same thing, only better!
VIDEO
Last edited by Ann Hebistand; 11/16/24 04:00 PM .
Still "Fickles" to my friends.
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Fighting Back
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To the tune of New Order's "World in Motion" Love's got my bowels in motion And I'm gonna make doo-doo Love's got my bowels in motion And I can't believe it's poo We're pooping in England EN-GA-LAND We're dropping big loads We're pooping in England EN-GA-LAND Oh, shit, we clogged up all our commodes
Still "Fickles" to my friends.
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Fighting Back
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"Man is born to trouble as the turds spin downward." - Jobbie 5:7
Still "Fickles" to my friends.
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