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#806880 05/03/14 08:53 PM
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More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
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Since Teeds made a valid objection to having poop jokes in the Shout Box, I thought Legion World could use its own poop joke thread.

So here we go...

Ever heard of the incontinent rock-and-roll-loving hillbilly musician?

He invented a new musical genre: CACABILLY!


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Originally Posted by Fanfic Lady
Since Teeds made a valid objection to having poop jokes in the Shout Box, I thought Legion World could use its own poop joke thread.

So here we go...

Ever heard of the incontinent rock-and-roll-loving hillbilly musician?

He invented a new musical genre: CACABILLY!


Huh. No shit?


Still "Lardy" to my friends!
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More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
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LOL lol

He did write a song called "Up Shit Creek". It's sounds kinda similar to "All Shook Up".


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More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
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Y'know, it occurs to me that the kids who did the Twist back in the day are now senior citizens with constipation problems.

"Let's poop again
Like we did last summer
Let's poop again
Like we did last year


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- Legion World member HARBINGER
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Time Trapper
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I fall into feces
Each time I pee on you again
I fall into feces
Now can I just use your can?




The childhood friend Exnihil never had.
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More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
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LOL rotflmao


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More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
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"Feces on the grass, alas."

"I ain't no stinkin' fecal matter."


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strange but not a stranger
strange but not a stranger
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I've just gone through "House on Pooh Corner"


Big Dog! Big Dog! Bow Wow Wow!
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More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
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LOL

rotflmao


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I was playing a game with my 13-yr-old a few days ago. He did something unpleasant to me and I called him a coprolite. He understood it and thought it was funny. It now seems to be the family insult.

Coprolite is fossilized feces, btw.

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Speaking of poop, did you know wombat poop is cubical? I have no idea how they manage this. Their excrement looks like little brown dice with rounded corners.

I guess if wombats gamble, they're really shooting craps, huh?

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Maybe nature evolved them that way so they have easy access to a pair of dice...

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More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
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To the tune of Marvin Gaye's "You" (or, rather, Three Dog Night's typically hammy cover of that same song):

Poo
Also called excrement
It is so pestilent
And no one can avoid the thankless task of making it

I smell poo-oo-oo-oo...




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More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
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Horton hears a Poo!


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Humanoid from the Deep
Humanoid from the Deep
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Knock knock,
Who's there?
I eat mop.
I eat mop who?
You eat your poo?

*ducks from tomato*

Last edited by Nostalgia Lad; 08/04/15 07:35 AM.

Keep up with what I've been watching lately!

"Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio? Our nation turns its lonely eyes to you."
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More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
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"That's poopy. P-O-O-P-Y. Pestilent, offensive, odorous, putrid, and yucky."


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More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
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"It's Laxative Sam!"

"Yeah, Laxative Sam! The roughest, toughest, poopiest, smelliest, gol-durn shittiest hombre that ever battled constipation. With one flush, I flood the whole nation!"


Read LEGIONS OF 7 WORLDS in the Bits forum:

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More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
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Originally Posted by Fanfic Lady
"It's Laxative Sam!"

"Yeah, Laxative Sam! The roughest, toughest, poopiest, smelliest, gol-durn shittiest hombre that ever battled constipation. With one flush, I flood the whole nation!"


"Eh...what's up, Doc? Say, have you ever thought of goin' into bizness manufacturin' fertilizer? I can be yer partner. I'll supply the Mexican food, and you'll pump out the fertilizer."

"Say, fer a long-eared varmint, yer okay. It's a deal. Let's shake on it."

(Much later, Sam is all skin and bones from pushin' it to the limit, while Bugs is rolling in money.)

"Hee hee hee hee...ain't I a stinker?"


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Tempus Fugitive
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Having just spent ages dealing with a litter box incident, I am unamused by this thread... so there.


"...not having to believe in a thing to be interested in it and not having to explain a thing to appreciate the wonder of it."
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More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
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Good thing you didn't read the April Dumaka litter box joke in the Legion forum's Akka thread, then!

Oh, hang on a minute...

Well, if I tried to please everybody, I'd have to change my name to Brianna Michaela Bendis.

grin


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Tempus Fugitive
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thoth: cue a thread...
Fickles:...where we all...
thoth:..complete each other's sentences...
Fickles: ..even though we're little talking heads...
Quis: ...in separate rooms!







"...not having to believe in a thing to be interested in it and not having to explain a thing to appreciate the wonder of it."
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More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
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Originally Posted by thoth lad
thoth: cue a thread...
Fickles:...where we all...
thoth:..complete each other's sentences...
Fickles: ..even though we're little talking heads...
Quis: ...in separate rooms!







Ha ha ha ha!!

So quintessentially Bendis!

Then, of course, there's the pacing that's so glacial it makes Jonathan Hickman read like Alan Grant.

And the loose ends, oh Gods, the loose ends! faint


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Tempus Fugitive
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But we get to be so snarky! Well, the one personality all the characters share gets to be.


"...not having to believe in a thing to be interested in it and not having to explain a thing to appreciate the wonder of it."
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More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
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LOL

Segueing back on topic:

Calling Bendis's writing glorified toilet paper is an insult to toilet paper!!

Well, maybe not South American toilet paper, which is...yeesh.

But definitely an insult to North American toilet paper.


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Tempus Fugitive
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I saw an ad for old toilet paper...actually I mean that the ad was old, not that they were selling used toilet paper*...

Anyway, its selling point was that it was splinter free. It wasn't that long ago. 1930s/40s Yikes!

*Collect 4 and send away for your free DCNu plot.


"...not having to believe in a thing to be interested in it and not having to explain a thing to appreciate the wonder of it."
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More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
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lol


Read LEGIONS OF 7 WORLDS in the Bits forum:

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More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
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(Song parody below inspired by Legion World's most fantastically filthy mind, Pov (Thanks!!) )

It's such a small turd
The struggle is so absurd
It takes the midnight flush going anywhere

I get overjoyed
When something comes out of my void
It takes the midnight flush going anywhere

A stinker in a sweaty room
The smell is worse than cheap perfume
Sitting on the can the entire night
It goes on and on and on and on...

T.P. wiping
Up and down my filthy butt-crack
Bowels aching
From the fight

Steaming feces
Waiting for the next bowel motion
Hiding somewhere in my guts...

DON'T STOP RELIEVING
HOLD ON TO THAT TOILET SEAT
UH
STEAMING FECES
UH, UNH, URGH, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...


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Wanderer
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I now want an Imodium shot...no bartender make that a double.

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More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
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JPops, LOL lol


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More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
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I'm crazy for tryin'...
...crazy for cryin'...
...crazy...
...for loving...
...poop jokes


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Gen X > Space X
Gen X > Space X
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I bet this thread could grow an AMAZING Legion World Victory Garden.


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Tempus Fugitive
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It’s gonna be a poo poo party Pom Pom
A poo poo party’s the best!




"...not having to believe in a thing to be interested in it and not having to explain a thing to appreciate the wonder of it."
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Fighting Back
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Lately, I have developed a great appreciation for rap music...

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

I knew I wouldn't be able to keep a straight face.

Anyhow, here's the official "Litter Box Rap," inspired by Emma Stone's (painfully bad) rapping at the end of "The House Bunny."

Now, when I pee and poop and fart
It always makes you wanna barf
I can't help that it smells so bad
I've still got issues with my dad
I need to drop another bomb
There's also problems with my mom


Still "Fickles" to my friends.
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A tongue-twister, inspired by this. (Thanks, Lardy.)

"Princess Projectra projectile-pooped a pile of poopy."


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If you enjoyed this, you'll love..."Journey's Greatest Shits:"

"Poopin', Wipin', Flushin'"

"Who's Crapping Now?"

"Any Kind of Caca"

"Fecally"

"Poops Like a Lady"

"Open Arse"

"Pestilent Ways (Turds and Farts)"

"Only the Dung"

Plus, bonus tracks: Steve Poopy's duet with Kenny Log-Drops, "Dump Fighting," and his solo hit "Oh, Smelly."


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Unlike Journey, I actually like Genesis. Quite a bit, in fact.

But even good bands come up with the odd stinker.



"Pooper late, pooper late
Pooper late, pooper late
Pooper late, oh, I'm sorry but there's nothing in the can
Pooper late, oh, I'm sorry, but rest easy, no poop is good poop

Oh, it's easy to crap like clockwork
Tick tock watching the turd spiral down
Any change would take too long
So zip your pants

Ooh, it's too easy to live in a cold sweat
Just sitting dropping feces below
You can wipe your ass
Kill the pain
But the odor won't go, no, no

Pooper late, pooper late..."


Still "Fickles" to my friends.
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Fighting Back
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"Why couldn't McPoopy have made a turd two inches longer?"






"And why couldn't McPoopy have made a turd even ONE inch longer?"



(It's an obscure Charlie Brown reference)


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Summer poopin',
Had me a blast
Summer poopin',
Happened so fast...


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Fighting Back
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Q: What do people in New Orleans sing when they have diarrhea?

A: "I go, I go all day."


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Fighting Back
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Forget the Tunguska Event.

What about the Toon Goose Ka-Ka Event?


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Donald Duck finally gave Gladstone Gander his comeuppance during that famous event.

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Yes, indeed.

Gladstone's luck finally ran out on him.

("Ran" in more than one sense.) grin

(Thanks, Ibby.)


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(Any time Fanfie smile )

I do enjoy Gladstone Gander getting a little bit of bad luck, now and then. He's a bit too smug for my taste.

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Turd so good
Come on, baby, make a turd so good
Sometimes poop don't smell like it should
You make a
(UNH)
Turd so good


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Putting this one inside a spoiler box with a Not-Safe-For-Kids / Not-Safe-For-Work warning. Even I find it rather disturbing, and I'm the one who thought it up!


It's a living thing
What a terrible thing to poo
It's a vicious thing
They won't hold it in any zoo



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"Ist das deine Kacke, Herr Kommissar?"


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"Poo in toilet, poo-poo in toilet
Call the plumber, can't be avoided"


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Tempus Fugitive
Tempus Fugitive
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Bad word warning...

Today the Pooper Scooper sh!tes are gonna find me
Steaming in the sun
(Poo-p-er Scoo-p-er)
Making stomachs turn
(Poo-p-er Scoo-p-er)
Looking like a number one

With apologies to Abba, as I volunteered for dog walking this weekend. Hopefully it won't come to actually doing it.


"...not having to believe in a thing to be interested in it and not having to explain a thing to appreciate the wonder of it."
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LOL lol

Thanks, Thoth.


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L
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Dookie is always gross...unless it's a Green Day album! (Watch it, Fick! tongue )


Still "Lardy" to my friends!
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Trap Timer
Trap Timer
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Ain't nobody got the time to listen to that boy whine. wink

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Green is the color of cow and horse poop. grin


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ICYMI on the Kill This Thread thread, a tribute to bidets........

She had a haaand held bidet
The kind you find in a home improvement store
She had a haaand held bidet
If you squirt your ass, it is clean once more
She had a haaand held bidet
I think I loooooove her!


Can you spot the source song? grin wink


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lol

Thanks, Lardy. I was hoping you'd share that song parody in this thread, but I was shy about asking.


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So.....what do y'all think about long, solid dookies being referred to as "butt sausages"? hmmm


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Gen X > Space X
Gen X > Space X
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Not buttwursts?

...

I'll just show myself out.


Hey, Kids! My "Cranky and Kitschy" collage art is now viewable on ipernity! Drop by and tell me that I sent you. *updated often!*
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Johnny "Rotten" Lydon calls them "truncheons."


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To the tune of Greg Kihn's "The Breakup Song (They Don't Write 'Em)":

Didn't know if I'd ever take another shit

Caca-caca-caca-caca

Felt my stomach rumble, and I said, "THIS IS IT!"

Caca-caca-caca-caca

They don't crap 'em that way anymore!
They don't crap 'em that way anymore!


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Wow, I have been remiss. My last song parody was almost a year ago. Well, I've got a new one and it's a doo doo doozy.

To the tune of the Four Seasons "Working My Way Back to You"



I keep pooping my way back to you, babe
With a burning ass on fire
I'm pooping my way back to you, babe
And those skid marks ain't from tires
I defecate awaaaaaaay...


Still "Fickles" to my friends.
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Gen X > Space X
Gen X > Space X
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Too much hot sauce'll do that... especially if you haven't had any in a long time. Tsk! FireLad


Hey, Kids! My "Cranky and Kitschy" collage art is now viewable on ipernity! Drop by and tell me that I sent you. *updated often!*
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Originally Posted by cleome55
Too much hot sauce'll do that... especially if you haven't had any in a long time. Tsk! FireLad

LOL Now I'm imagining Fire Lad singing like Frankie Valli.


Still "Fickles" to my friends.
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To the tune of Dream Academy's "Life in a Northern Town,"






I cried out with an expletive
Because I only had one laxative
It would never be enough to get me...pooping...

Ah, heya, caca caca
Middle of the night, oh
Ah, heya, caca caca
Middle of the night, oh
Ah, heya, caca caca, hey, ah...

Wish I could move my bowels


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Master of Pooping

Sad But Poo

Enter Shitman

Until I Shit

Nothing Else Splatters

Wherever I May Crap

Creeping Stench

For Whom the Smell Told

Dung


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Are you pooping, are you pooping, Brother John, Brother John?


Still "Fickles" to my friends.
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Wanderer
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"Toilet bowl is ringing, toilet bowl is ringing, plop plop plop, plop plop plop."

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Sounds like a healthy plop, at least!

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Time Trapper
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I had soup for dinner and spent the rest of the night on the can.

Makes sense, it was Shit aki mushroom soup.

Okay, I gotta runs.


Damn you, you kids! Get off my lawn or I'm callin' tha cops!

Something pithy!
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Dang that S* mushrooms

my husband fell to raw fish last time. he was sick for nearly a week

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"Hey, Rocky, watch me go to the bathroom in my hat!"

"AGAIN?"


Still "Fickles" to my friends.
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I hope this was not directed towards our dear Legion Worlder, Rockhopper Lad!

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No, no, it was a reference to a recurring comedy routine on the old Rocky & Bullwinkle cartoon:

"Hey, Rocky, watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat!"

"AGAIN?"





I would *never* disrespect Rockhopper Lad!


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oh of course not! I was just making a silly joke smile

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Okay, thanks for clarifying. I feel better now. smile


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of course, and I apologize for making you feel a bit bad! I'll remember to be clearer about indicating that i'm only joking
hug Annfie!

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"I hate myself for loving poo
Can't get nearly enough doo-doo
I get so happy when the runs possess you
That's why I hate myself for loving POO"


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Wanderer
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(Incidentally safe video, just a funny commercial)

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LOL

That reminds me of the 80s video game Crazy Climber, where a guy trying to climb to the top of a building is bombarded by, among other things, bird poop. (I'm sure some will claim they were supposed to be eggs, but anyone can tell what they really were.)

Bird attack at around 02:25:



EDIT: If you enjoyed that, and if you have 22 minutes to spare, this is the same thing, only better!


Last edited by Ann Hebistand; 11/16/24 04:00 PM.

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To the tune of New Order's "World in Motion"

Love's got my bowels in motion
And I'm gonna make doo-doo
Love's got my bowels in motion
And I can't believe it's poo

We're pooping in England
EN-GA-LAND
We're dropping big loads
We're pooping in England
EN-GA-LAND
Oh, shit, we clogged up all our commodes


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"Man is born to trouble as the turds spin downward."

- Jobbie 5:7


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