Legion World Forums LEGION OUTPOST Mission Monitor Board 100 Toothpicks

August 31st, 10PM:


(Exnihil - having arrived several hours earlier at his temporary lodging on his way to visit Fat Cramer the following day - steps outside to see an unexpected visitor staring off into the distance)




Exnihil: Stoopid Cat? What are you doing here? You thinking of joining your sister and I tomorrow for a drink? I'm pretty sure we could scare you up a saucer of milk.

Stoopid Cat: Mmmmmm... ever the jester, aren't we, human?

Ex (taking a seat next to him): Aww... come on, Cat... I'm just teasing you.

Stoopid Cat: It is said that it is the jester's prerogative to speak plainly to a king...

Ex: A king? What are you...?

Stoopid Cat (interrupting - still staring off) ... but it is only a cat that may look at him. And trust me, human... I've been looking at him for a very long time.




Ex: What are you on about?

Stoopid Cat (finally looking up): You may attempt to play the fool with the LMB, human... but do not presume to tempt my patience. I am well aware of your intent as you scurry about collecting toothpicks... but it is the one that is missing from the box that should be of concern to you and the Grrggian.

Ex (growing serious): How do you know about...?

Stoopid Cat (interrupting again): Before us lies a vast beach...




Stoopid Cat: ...each rock a reflection of a time long past. Beyond the hardened rocks lie the sands... the times yet unfallen. With each passing moment, these sands erode away... drawn back into the chaotic waters where he reigns.

Ex: He?

Stoopid Cat: And beyond that, human... nothing. Nothing at all, save the whiteness of his victory.

Ex: All right, Cat... I think that's enough foreshadowing for now. Who knows what prying ears are about. And speaking of ears... c'mere you...




Stoopid Cat (as Ex scratches his ear): Mmmmmmmmm... yes, human... dooooooo thaaaat.

Ex (picking him up): OK, Cat... perhaps you do know what Cobie and I are up to... but trust me this time. In no way is the enemy's victory a foregone conclusion. If I have to line up 1000 toothpicks... I will find him.

September 1, 1PM:


Exnihil (entering into Cafe Cramer and sidling into the chair next to the proprietress): Sorry I'm late, Cramey... late night visitor last night.

Fat Cramer: Nonsense, dear... not at all. Your visitor... anyone I know?

Ex: Actually... yeah... although I'm not quite sure how. I've always heard that Stoopid Cat is your "brother"... but how is that poss...?

Fat Cramer (laughing lightly, as she interrupts): Oh... don't worry about that, Ex. All of we "cats" are brothers and sisters, in a sense. And we all have the same "mother".

Ex: You do?

Fat Cramer: In a sense. (looking around in a jokingly theatrical manner, and then leaning in close): Shhhhhh.... "Holy Cats of Egypt," and all that.

Ex: Heh, gotcha. Say... by the way... you're not looking particularly "cat-like" today.

Fat Cramer (grinning): No... no, not today.

Ex: I didn't know you could do that.

Fat Cramer: Well... we cats to tend keep our own council. So... how is your project coming along? Where do you go from here?

Ex: I'm not quite sure... I generally put myself in the hands of my computer. I do know that - before too long - I'll be heading a bit to the northwest of Legion World.

Fat Cramer: Oh... dedman's up that way, isn't he?

Ex: Yeah... and Kent... and Cleome... and... well... just a whole bunch of folks.

Fat Cramer (raising her mug): Well... best of luck to you, Ex.

Ex (smiling): Heh... I think this is the first time I've ever toasted a martini glass to a coffee mug!

Fat Cramer (smiling as well): I assure you, dear... it won't be the last.

Exnihil: Wow, that was a fantastic time visiting with Fat Cramer.

Computer: Hmm? Oh... yes, sir. Ms. Cramer is a delightful woman.

Ex: You all right there, Clocky? You sound a little distracted.

Computer: Oh, it's nothing, sir... just...

Ex: Come on... out with it.

Computer: Well... as you know... among my billion plus functions are several elements of Wellsian tech temporal anomaly detection.

Ex: The what of the what of the what, now? I thought you were just a day-planner.

Computer: Sigh...

Ex: I didn't realize a computer could sigh.

Computer: In any case... fifteen hours prior to your meeting with Ms. Cramer, when you were visited by Stoopid Cat... you had powered me down.

Ex: Figured you could use a rest.

Computer: I require no rest. But... more to the point... when I was powered back up, there was the distinct residual signature of a chronal anomaly. Did your meeting with the cat contain any...?

Ex (interrupting): Nope.

Computer: I... I didn't finish my question, sir. And this isn't the first time during this project that I've encountered something like this. Your meetings with Paladin, Cobalt Kid, and Dev Em each contained traces of...

Ex (interrupting): Give it a rest, huh, Clocky? You're starting to sound like Emily with her talk of a "conspiracy". If I had to take a guess... I'd say you're probably just experiencing a residual faux-personality override stemming from the period when she had commandeered your core processing banks.

Computer: Sir?

Ex: I mean... uh... that... or something. Anyway... just stop thinking about any "chronal anomalies", Clocky. You're just being paranoid. Now... on to more important things... who are we seeing next?

Computer: processing... processing...




Ex: Really? Wow... I haven't seen him since The Long Klordn... oh, crap! I sort of left him in a cliffhanger, didn't I?:

http://www.legionworld.net/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=136110#Post136110


Computer: Sort of, sir? That may be a bit of an understatement. When last you were relating that tale, we had reached the point where you had a blaster trained on him as he begged for his life, in a scene quite derivative of - if not wholesale ripped off from - the 20th Century holo-pic "Miller's Crossi..."

Ex (interrupting): Aaaaaanyway... clearly if we're meeting now... I didn't shoot him then, right? Right?

Computer: I'm afraid I've been instructed to "stop thinking about any chronal anomalies," sir.

Ex: Hmmph. Well... anyway... I'm sure that Target #25 will let bygones be bygones.

Computer: Oh, yes, sir... I'm sure.






And, away we go, thread-watchers...

Another toothpick placed into the grade school science fair project that is this thread, as we travel full speed ahead toward this weekend, and:





Mmmm... 25.

What a nice number. I wonder if there will be any sort of special significance to this one?

Nah... probably not.

(An Omnicom rings).

(Exnihil strolls into the main room of his flat, and disappears briefly through an open doorway to the right. We hear a door shushing open and then closed, and then Ex reenters again, still not reacting to the insistently ringing Omnicom.)

(Walking over to the facing chair at the window end of the room, Ex shrugs off his overcoat, drapes it on the chair, sits, crosses his legs, takes off his hat, tosses it onto the upraised toes of his crossed leg. He tilts his head back.)

(After a beat, he takes a toothpick out of his breast pocket, pops it between his teeth, and reaches back for the Omnicom that refuses to stop ringing. He answers.)


Exnihil: Yeah...?


(He casually looks forward, just off to one side, at a specific point in space, not reacting to whatever he is hearing.)


Ex: ... I need more time, Babette... Because I don't have it...


(His gaze is still fixed and emotionless.)


Ex: ... Because I say so ... What would be good enough? ... Well, if it'll make him feel any better, tell Semi he can send someone by to break my legs. I won't squawk.


(Ex taps off the Omnicom, still looking off. With his tongue he moves the toothpick slightly in his mouth, then... after a beat... speaks again toward a dark corner of the room.)


Ex: 'Lo, Kid. Come on in… make yourself at home.


(Slouched in a chair, in the corner of the room, facing Ex... is Kid Quislet. Kid Quis turns on the lamp on the table at his elbow. He holds a gun casually in his lap.)


Kid Quis: 'Lo, Ex. Thought I'd do that, since you didn't seem to be in. Figured it was a bad idea to wait in the hall, seeing as how the last time we were together, quite a few people were looking for my blood.


(Ex is silent)


Kid Quis: Guess I made sort of scene up there on Luna... begging you not to shoot me. Heh... you didn't tell anyone about that?

Ex: No.

Kid Quis: Good. Of course... you know about it. It's... it's a painful memory. And I can't help remembering that you put the finger on me, and you took me out there to whack me. I know you didn't... I know you didn't shoot me... but...

Ex: But what have I done for you lately?

Kid Quis: Don't smart me. See... I wanna watch you squirm. I wanna see you sweat a little. And when you smart me... (He rises to his feet, keeping the gun trained on Ex) ... it ruins it.


(Kid Quislet pulls the trigger)









Ex: AAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!

Kid Quis (completely startled, as the whole restaurant turns to see Ex's bizarre behavior). Whoa... Ex! Calm down, man... are you all right?

Ex (confused for a moment... then - realizing where he is - sits back down.) Whoa... sorry about that... vivid daydream.

Kid Quis: I guess so! "The Long Klordny" again?

(Ex nods)

Kid Quis: Another "Miller's Crossing" scene ripoff?

Ex: Yeah! Say... how'd you know that?

Kid Quis: Well... no offense... but you're sort of a predictable writer, Ex... a little cliche.

Ex: Cliche?

Kid Quis: Li'l bit. Hey... you ever going to finish that story?

Ex: Someday... I always seem to have a lot of different projects going.

Kid Quis: Yeah? Well... maybe this will help light a fire under you!

(Ex jumps up... expecting Kid Quis to pull out a gun. A confused waitress approaches and sets down a beer and a martini.)

Kid Quis (shaking his head): I just meant your drink, you goof!

Ex (sitting down again): Oh... yeah, of course.

Kid Quis: Sheesh... maybe a little bit less late-night film noir for you, man.

Ex (nodding, as he takes a sip) Yeah... yeah, I think that would be for the best.

Ex, the way you write each LMBer you meet just meshes so well with their LMB personas. I wonder, how much of their "real world selves" did you incorporate into the writing?

[out of character]


None at all, Ibby.

Each of the 25 individuals (plus the cat) that I've "met" thus far in this thread are alts of mine, and their personalities just my own creations. The photos I've used are just public domain stock photos that I've cleverly Photoshopped myself into. Pretty neat, huh?



So... as I implied a few posts back, it's time for the "100 Toothpick" project to go on temporary hiatus as I recharge my batteries and focus on a few "real-world" type things. Fear not, though... we'll be back in short order as I relaunch in style with a blitz of (and getting blitzed in) the Pacific Northwest.



In any case - since I'm doing a little "behind the curtain" stuff, anyway - I thought I'd take a moment to talk about the "Chapter Titles" I've been using throughout. I think most people realize that they're sort of "Easter egg" references, but - since some of them are fairly obscure - I thought I'd give a "master key".

So first off...



The main title, "100 Toothpicks" is a play on the old Vertigo title "100 Bullets". I think most people realize I'm a big "noir" fan, so I thought it would be cool to do a riff on that where each of the people I was meeting were "targets". The "toothpicks" are my prize, basically a badge of honor for having a drink with a LWer. (Quick note... the coolest one was a little duck topped swizzle stick that I got when I visited Lash in Memphis... oddly, though... as a couple folks noticed... that was the time I didn't even have a martini, instead opting for a bourbon Manhattan.)


Ch 1 - A Town Called Goose Creek

OK... right off the bat, obscura. This title is a play on the song "A Town Called Malice" by the Jam (itself a reference to the book, "A Town Like Alice". There is no significance to this choice of title for me, other than the fact that it sounded sort of "noir-y". Goose Creek is the real world town I was heading toward, fictionalized in LMB lore as Lardy's home planetoid, GusCrek.


Ch 2 - The Long Conn.

A couple different references here. Firstly, quite simply is that - although we met in NY - Cobie's from Connecticut. Secondly, it's a play on words of "The Long Con" - an episode of the show "LOST" that Cobie and I were both fans of, and a very early reference to the fact that the true (still to be revealed) purpose of the Toothpicks project ties into very long term plot for an LMB story called, "Time War," involving a conspiracy that Cobie and I cooked up.


Ch 3 - Start Spreading the News...

A line from Frank Sinatra's "New York, New York" that both referenced the fact of the meetup location, and the fact that by this point, people watching the thread were starting the realize that this wasn't just a quick thing, but something that I was planning to be huge.


Ch 4 - Vernacular? That's a Doiby!

Heh. This is a line from a classic "Three Stooges" episode, "Disorder in the Court". It references the fact that kenaustin is my oldest online friend, one who I was initially drawn to on the DC boards because we shared a very similar writing style and vernacular. Additionally, the "Doiby" bit references the fact that I was in Kentucky... home of a rather famous derby of their own.


Ch 5 - Up and Down the Dial

A line from the theme song to "WKRP in Cincinnati" referencing both the location of the meetup, and the fact that Lance works in radio.


Ch 6 - King of the Rhode

A play off of the Roger Miller song, "King of the Road" referencing Abin's home state of Rhode Island and the fact that we were taking a road trip together.


Ch 7 - Pahk the Cah

A stereotypical Boston accented phrase, "Pahk the cah in Hahvahd Yahd" referencing the location and the fact that I was leaving my car (or jeep, actually) at Quis house as he, Abin and I set off to explore the city on foot.


Ch 8 - Missouri Loves Company - Part I: Hey-Hey-Hey-Hey!

The first of the 3 Missouri stops, and a play on the phrase "Misery loves company". Not that anyone was miserable, mind you - quite the opposite - just that they were having company and... forget it, it works fine! The subtitle "Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey" is half of a Little Richard song - the other half being... "Kansas City," where - of course - the meetup occurred... and has the cool side benefit of suggesting the name, "Huey".


Ch 9 - Missouri Loves Company - Part II: What You Unexpect!

"What You Unexpect" is the motto of Columbia, Missouri where I met Jerry... a person I didn't even realize lived in Missouri, until I "unexpectedly" happened to notice it on Facebook as I was planning the trip!


Ch 10 - Missouri Loves Company - Part III: That's the Spirit!

An oblique reference to Charles Lindbergh's plane "The Spirit of St. Louis" referencing the location, and also the fact that Conjie, - a relative newbie to LW - didn't at all object when a relative stranger said, "Hey, I'm coming to visit you."


Ch 11 - Scarlet Billows!

No geographic reference here (as he visited me on my home turf) but rather a line from the Bobby Darin song, "Mack the Knife" that goes "You know when that shark bites... with his teeth, babe... scarlet billows... start to spread". It's echoed in the next post when Ex is selecting a shirt without "a trace of red".


Ch 12 - Help Me Find The Party

A line from the Chuck Berry song, "Memphis, Tennessee" (more famously sung by Johnny Rivers) referring both the location of the meet-up and the fact that if any meet-up was going to be fun, it would be the one with Lash.


Ch 13 - You Walk Your Own Line

A line from the Everly Brothers song, "Bowling Green" referencing the location of the meetup and the name "Lone Wolf".


Ch 14 - You Gotta Lose Your Mind - Part I : Holy Toledo!

The main title is a line from the Kiss song, "Detroit Rock City" referencing the place where BB, Dev, Seymour and I met up... but the subtitle refers to the fact that I stopped first in Toledo to hang with BB solo.


Ch 15 - You Gotta Lose Your Mind - Part II : Standin' Beside You

A continuation of the Detroit meetup, with a line from the musical "Little Shop of Horrors", specifically the song... "Suddenly Seymour".


Ch 16 - You Gotta Lose Your Mind - Part III : ...And Then There Were Three...

A round-about reference, the surface meaning being that this was a meetup with three people, but also a LMB plot point about "Dev Em" currently being dead in continuity. That put me in mind of the whole "Search for Spock" arc in the Star Trek movies and the "Genesis" planet. The title, "...And Then There Were Three..." is an album by... Genesis. Long way around... but any port in a storm.



A pause here for the "Letter to the Editor" that appears. The picture of "Golden Age Exnihil" is - believe it or not - my grandfather. It's one of my favorite photographs (not just of him, but in general) because it so perfectly captures that 1930's/40's style and spirit that I'm so fond of. It's just my grandfather and a buddy (and the buddy's future wife) out at a NY club called "The Latin Quarter" and has nothing to do with any "quest" (that I'm aware of, this is. ).

"23 Skidoo and a Swizzle Stick for You" is just a recast of "100 Toothpicks" into an earlier incarnation, with all of the Golden Age LMB elements being lifted from an old Onevision story by Faraway Lad.

The "author" of the letter, Tom Fatsi, is a real person and the subject of a long-standing Legion World quest to locate a 70's LSH letterhack, which finally came to a happy ending at the hands of lil' Rhino:

http://www.legionworld.net/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=24217#Post24217

I sort of felt like "Fatsi-hunt" was a spiritual precursor to "100 Toothpicks," and wanted to give that a nod.



Ch 17 - Connecticut's For *ucking

This is the title of a punk song by a band called "Jesus H. Christ and the Four Hornsman of the Apocalypse" and refers to both the location of the meetup, and Pov's penchant for off-color jokes.


Ch 18 - The Chores, the Stores, Fresh Air, Yadda, Yadda, Yadda...

This is a riff on the theme to "Green Acres," the most important part, "Times Square" (as the location of the meetup), being "yadda yadda yadda-ed" over in typical NY fashion.


Ch 19 - Big Apple? Pfft... I've Seen Bigger

Just a riff on the nickname of NYC being given the "Sarky" treatment.


Ch 20 - ...And Windy Has Stormy Eyes!

A line from the song, "Windy" by the Association, referencing both Chicago as the "Windy City" and Emily's eyes, something I've often incorporated into my fiction as being highly acute in her position as an archer.


Ch 21 - It's a Lapazoo! - Part I: The Road Leads Back to You

Two parter, the "Lapazoo" being 1920's slang used in the classic song, "The Charleston" which refers to the location of the meetup. The second bit here is a line from "Georgia on my Mind" where Legion Tracker was driving in from.


Ch 22 - It's a Lapazoo! - Part II: Hey, Hey... You, You... Get Off of My Lawn!

And the second part is a take on the Rolling Stones, "Get Off of My Cloud" tweaked to be slightly more... Cranky.


Interlude - A Town Called Goose Creek (Slight Return)

The return of Lardy, in a play on Jimi Hendrix's, "Voodoo Child (Slight Return)"


Ch 23 - Well, You Better Do the Right

This is a from the Leadbelly song, "The Midnight Special", (probably better known as a Creedence Clearwater Revival song) the previous line of which is, "If you´re ever in Houston,"... which I was.


Interlude - The Rare Grace

This was inserted after - upon reaching the cabin in Nova Scotia where my wife and I were staying for the weekend - we read the note asking us if we could feed the stray cat that comes by. Given Abin's previous comment about Stoopid Cat, this was too eerie not to include. The title is a Mark Twain quote that reads, "If animals could speak, the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much." Perfect for my characterization of SC.


Ch 24 - Early in the Morning and I'm Far, Far Away

A line from the folk song, "Farewell to Nova Scotia" and a nod to the fact that my visit to see Fat Cramer was the first one that actually brought me to a different country.


Ch 25 - Every Day's Like an Open Door

A line from the song "I Love You, Baltimore" from the musical "Hairspray" again referencing the meetup locale, but also - to my ears - sounding like a particularly "open-ended" way to head off into a hiatus.



So, for fans of annotations (of which - you might have gathered - I'm one), there you are!


[/out of character]

Now I know why suddenly I had to spend 45 minutes in the morning, taming my hair.

It's 11:30 PM after a long day and instead of putting my head on the pillow I'm sitting here fascinated with Ex's annotations. My word, Exnihil, how many of those references rose straight out of your memory? How much, if any, research did you do to find them? What have you done in your 4.3 minutes of free time this summer?

Delightful, my friend. Delightful.

One thing, though. I think you could have found a better stock photo for the Legion Tracker dude. He didn't look at all like I'd imagined him.

Yeah, what the hell?!?! And the "Lardy" stand-in shoulda been a LOT sexier--and TALLER!

You can get a martini in Iran?

100 Toothpicks - Part 2 Preview Review

It's very zen, but is it very now? While fans flocked to the previous arc of this title, will they still be as enamoured with our hero bravely carrying the one, true toothpick through the desolate wastelands?

One can only hope that the author treks more into the territory crafted so well in Wagner's Grendel, than Byrne's experimental "Snowblind" issue of Alpha Flight.

While the latter will certainly be easier to portray ("Look! Here's my toast with ArmFallOffBoy! We're wearing white in this snowdrift. And look who else has turned up...!") it would lack the literal and figurative depth of Wagner's work. Not to mention the stylish toothpick combat scenes of Part 1.

Early rumours regarding an all action homage to Koike's Lone Wolf & Cub have been dismissed by both the prospective Cub and the board of Legion World Censors.

"It's only my name," said Stoopid Cat at the thought of being trailed across the snowy country and the chance of missing out on whims being pandered to. The censor board were busily trying to cancel their white out orders as they issued a hasty "Whew!"

Regardless of scope or influences, the mystery behind what links the holders of the miniature toothpicks is sure to capture interest, and increasing Martini dependency of the audience.


For rumours that Part 3 of 100 toothpicks involves factions formed around different colored toothpicks, Click Here

For more desperate, pandering compliments on books written by other desperate, pandering writers in an "I'll scratch your TPB, if you scratch my movie option" agreement, Click Here

For more on Stoopid Cat's movie phenomena "Vermin Hunter" Click Here

Click here for DC's editorial stances. No click here. No, it's here this morning. Oh, it's moved to Californ-i-a...

...It's happening again...

Or has it happened already...?

^ you really are a creative genius, you know that?

^^ Echo that...knowing Ex, there'll be a fully printed version coming soon!

[out of character]


Thanks so much, guys! I'm so glad you liked my little experiment bridging the two halves of this project.



As I kicked off the next wave of cross country (countries!) LMB meet-ups, I felt like I wanted to try something new, and I thought that trying to do a fumetti might be a neat challenge.

Fumetti, for those that haven't heard of it before, is a type of book - more popular in Europe - that uses the layout and graphic conventions of comic books set against photographic artwork. I actually haven't seen one since I was a little kid, but they actually used to publish movie and TV adaptations in this fashion. (I remember I used to have one of "Mork and Mindy".)

And, of course, the form was briefly celebrated by a fellow master of self-promotion:




Lest anyone taking a look at my pages above be seized by an overwhelming sense of deja vu, however, I feel it's important to let you know that the actual page layouts are not my own design. I may be an excellent mimic, but an artist I ain't.

So, in the interest of full disclosure (and credit where credit is due), let just me take a moment to show you what I ripped off annotate them:


First off, the sort of "zoom in on the snow covered trek" thing is not - as thothkins speculated - inspired by Wagner nor Byrne, but rather by Shawn McManus in the opening pages of Neil Gaiman's "Sandman" arc, "A Game of You":




The hotel sequence (which I think came out bitchin') is stolen, almost beat for beat, from Phillip Bond's artwork in the "Invisible Kingdom" arc of Grant Morrison's "The Invisibles" (I changed a couple panels, but - trust me - ain't nobody wants to see me in a bathtub. ):




And finally, also from "The Invisibles," is the Phil Jimenez "turn and quote reveal" from the "Counting to None" arc:



...and, while King Mob may quote George Orwell, Ex takes his own "bon mots" from a fellow showman - Johnny Carson.




A few additional annotations on the actual story beats (for those who enjoy such things):


- Ex singing Donovan's "There is a Mountain" as he climbs through the snow is a four year old call back:

http://www.legionworld.net/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=324682

...but, in a deeper (some might say "zen") sense, it also ties into the nature of the LMB's history as hinted at here:

http://www.legionworld.net/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=127926#Post127926


- The back-and-forth bar conversation Ex remembers hints at his co-conspirator by mentioning "Ggrrgg":

http://lmbp.outpost.legionworld.net/wiki/index.php?title=Ggrrgg

...and Ex's current location, the Legion World Hills:

http://lmbp.outpost.legionworld.net/wiki/index.php?title=Hills


- Ex mentions "Des," short for "Desmonius Primus Julianus," AKA:

http://lmbp.outpost.legionworld.net/wiki/index.php?title=Cobalt_Kid


- Buried in The Hills, Ex finds what looks to be a Terran artifact, possibly Pre-Egyptian. Hmmm...

http://www.legionworld.net/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=130603




And last... but never, ever, least... an enormous debt of gratitude goes to my fellow creator, the photographer who, completely not understanding why she would do any of this - other than to humor her semi-insane husband - nevertheless did a fantastic job... Mrs. Nihil.



So... another year... another road trip. Who is the next target, you ask? Keep your eyes peeled, pickies... all will be revealed.


[/out of character]

As someone fairly new to LW, I happily admit to running away screaming from the huge amount of LW Lore. Reading Ex dipping into it to piece together the above gives me that unsettling feeling people must have when they meet the Time Trapper

Great stuff and I'm slightly gutted my previous post got in the way of the pages. I thought it was another teaser! Anyway, I've got to go and work on that bath in room 23. Someone's left it in a heck of a state...

Hope I didn't scare Our Hero away with that whole Tiki Bar thing last year. I know for a fact that the bar in question would be more than happy to provide all the Martinis and/or toothpicks any hobo-- er, traveller could ever want.

April 8th edits - (just rearranging some posts for better reading order, please ignore).