Legion World Forums LEGION OUTPOST Bits o' Legionnaire Business The Tragic Tale of Elastic Lass

CHAPTER ONE – TRYOUTS --APPLICANT: BETELGEUSE VI

Earth, the 3Oth century, 14:58:OO

“Well, it appears that our first candidate, Timehopper Lad will not be joining us,” declared Saturn Girl.
“Nevertheless, let us get started. Our second candidate is… Wartburg Ritter?”

The familiar triple-dais was manned by the three founders: Cosmic Boy, Saturn Girl, and Lightning Lad. A young man, oddly dressed, stepped into the spotlight on the platform in front of them.

“You are older than most of our candidates,” Cosmic Boy remarked. “I see that you are nineteen—and just a few weeks short of not qualifying for Legion membership.”

“Indeed--,” replied the young man, “You must understand that it took me some time to master my powers. I am Wartburg Ritter of Betelgeuse VI, but more importantly, I am a member of the Church of Beeblebrox.”

Lightning Lad groaned. Saturn Girl elbowed him in the ribs.

“The Church of Beeblebrox believes that the meaning and purpose of the Universe is to bring forth the Pan-Galactic Gargleblaster:



"I have studied many years under the Monks of Osknom, and have mastered the divine craft of Mixology.
I offer my services to the Legion as… Libation Lad."

“Wartb… or, er, Libation Lad,” Cosmic Boy began, “The Legion Headquarters is on Earth, and you may be unfamiliar with some of its laws. The legal drinking age here is sixteen, which means that many of our younger members would not be able to avail themselves of your services. Also, I believe that the Monks ought to have taught you that the composition of Earth’s atmosphere makes Pan-Galactic Gargleblasters chemically unstable. They cannot be mixed and consumed before they violently explode.”

“What?” exclaimed the Betelgeusean. “Heretics! A planet of heretics, and a perverse, demonic environment as well! How I pity you, Legionnaires! I must now immediately depart this fallen, forsaken world!
“Still, if any of you are on Betelgeuse IV anytime in the future, look me up, and I’ll pour you a glass.”

CHAPTER TWO – TRYOUTS -- APPLICANT: WINATH

Earth, the 3Oth century, 15:17:3O

“Garth, our next candidate is from Winath,” Saturn Girl noted. “Please identify yourself, and state your powers?”

A freckled, red-headed youth stepped onto the platform.

“My name is Enron Wilzz of Winath. My parents are two of our planet’s premier weapons manufacturers.”

“Wilzz Weapons,” Lightning Lad murmured. Another groan escaped. Saturn Girl elbowed him in the ribs, again.

“They have developed this prototype multi-form radiating weapon. A ray-gun, if you will. It is able to produce heat rays, freezing rays, electric beams, positronic beams, concussive shock waves, kinetic blasts…’

“Please, I am sorry to interrupt you,” interrupted Saturn Girl, “but the Legion does not use weapons.”

“You could not use it if you wanted to,” Enron replied. “It is specifically keyed to my DNA and thought-patterns. I have spent months developing my skills with this ray-gun, and I am the only expert in its use in the Galaxy. I call myself Ron Ray-Gun.”

Lightning Lad keyed a command into his dais. “If you will look on the visi-screen behind me, you will see one of our early members. His name was Kid Quantum, of Xanthu. A special belt he wore gave him his powers—the ability to project stasis-fields. But at a critical moment, his belt failed, and he was the first Legionnaire killed in action. There is a good reason that the Legion does not accept members whose powers derive from mechanical devices. Do you understand?”

Ron Ray-Gun appeared downcast. “Yes, I suppose so.”

“Speak to Bouncing Boy on the way out, and he will provide you with the souvenir flight-belt which we provide to all our applicants,” Saturn Girl told him. Ron slouched slowly toward the door.

“The Science Police Liaison Group is supposed to be pre-screening these applicants,” Lightning Lad despaired. “They don’t seem to be doing very well, judging by these last two.”

“I think they feel an obligation to send us a few applicants every month,” Cosmic Boy explained. “And I am still not sure they take the Legion as seriously as we would like them to do.”

CHAPTER THREE -- TRYOUTS --APPLICANT: COLU

Earth: the 3Oth century, 15:38:OO

“Interesting,” remarked Saturn Girl, as a green-skinned, green-haired girl took the spotlight. “You are from Colu, the homeworld of Brainiac 5?”

“Yes, and I do not expect to be able to replace him,” admitted the third applicant. “Like most Coluans, I have only a 10th-level intellect. However, I have applied my mind to a discipline few of my race have attempted: the development of psychic abilities. Although my designation on my homeworld is Dwyrda 257-LR, I call myself Kid Telesthesia.”

Saturn Girl appeared intrigued. Lightning Lad and Cosmic Boy appeared perplexed.

“I am able to project a psionic astral form,” Kid Telesthesia continued, “from which I receive visual, auditory, olfactory, gustatory, and tactile sensation, over a distance. My astral form can instantaneously traverse at least a thousand kilometers, and the relayed sensations are as vivid as if I were physically present myself. While not particularly suited to combat, I believe that they could be useful in information-gathering, or even espionage. Furthermore, by psychic abilities duplicate neither yours, Saturn Girl, nor Brainiac 5’s.”

“I will have to defer to your judgment,” Cosmic Boy remarked to Saturn Girl. “I am no specialist on psychic abilities.”

“Dwyrda, your powers are intriguing,” Saturn Girl admitted. “However, most of your super-senses are duplicated—and even surpassed—by Mon-El, Ultra Boy, Superboy, Supergirl, and Laurel. Your one unique power is tele-tactility: ghostly fondling at a distance. And frankly, it seems kind of creepy. We are in the process of establishing a Legion Academy, for those who wish to further develop their powers, and field-test their value and efficacy to the Legion. We will contact you again, once it has been established. In the meantime, see Bouncing Boy for your souvenir flying belt, gratis.”

CHAPTER FOUR – TRYOUTS --APPLICANT: CARGGG

Earth: the 3Oth century, 16:13:3O

“Greetings, Legionnaires.” Two handsome, long-haired young men stepped up to the platform. “We are Ffabian and Ffabio Neton of Carggg.”

“It says on your application, you have enhanced Cargggite powers?” Saturn Girl responded.

“Yes,” replied Ffabio. “We were born identical twins, extremely rare on Carggg, and each with the native Cargggan ability to triplicate ourselves. We call ourselves, Sextuplet Boy

Lightning Lad suppressed a giggle. Saturn Girl elbowed him in the ribs.

“We might want to work on the name,” Saturn Girl opined. “But what other abilities do you have? Can the two of you also fuse into a single body?”

“No,” admitted Ffabian.

“Well, do you have some sort of twin-telepathy, or mind-link?”
“No.”

“Any special powers? Anything else at all?”

“No, afraid not. There’s just six of us.”

“Let me try,” offered Cosmic Boy. “You are two Cargggans, each with the ability to triplicate. Although you are identical twins, you are still two individuals, with no more extra ability than any other two random Carggans. You know that we already have a Cargggan in the Legion. Now you want us to have three Carggans in the Legion?”

“No, no. When you put it that way…” Ffabian and Ffabio made a hasty exit.

“Clever,” said Saturn Girl. “You made them realize that there would be three Cargggan members of an organization—which is strongly prohibited by Cargggan superstition. There may be any number of Cargggans in a club or meeting, as long as the number is not divisible by three.”

“How do you guys remember this stuff,” offered Lightning Lad. “The local superstitions of every world in the United Planets? How many more of these left to process.”

“Just one more,” Saturn Girl replied. “An applicant from Rimbor.”

“This is disappointing, and getting somewhat repetitive: Rimbor, Winath, Colu, Carggg… all already represented in the Legion,” Cosmic Boy commented, “Not to mention Earth. Our experience with the ‘Heroes of Lallor’ proves that there are Legion-ready applicants out there, but we just aren’t managing to reach them. Perhaps we need to look beyond our homeworlds, and the central worlds of the United Planets, and go out to the frontier planets. Zoon, maybe?”

CHAPTER FIVE -- TRYOUTS --APPLICANT: RIMBOR

Earth: the 3Oth century, 16:3O:OO

The tall, slender young woman stood before the three founders, dressed in a day-glo yellow costume with a tight-fitting cowl. The only other hint of color was the red slippers she wore.

“I am Jan Ol of Rimbor, and I call myself Elongation Lass.”

Lightning Lad suppressed a snicker. Saturn Girl elbowed him again, right on the small bruise already on his rib cage.

“And can you demonstrate your powers?” Saturn Girl asked.

“Yes, I can.” Holding up her right index finger, she narrated, “I can extend my finger to fifty times its ordinary length, while still maintaining perfect control.” The finger snaked tightly around Lightning Lad’s wrist. “Of course, the circumference of my finger shrinks proportionally, becoming only three millimeters in diameter when fully extended. However, my strength increases somewhat as my muscles elongate and tighten, for as you can see, I can easily hold Lightning Lad’s arm immobile.”

A small, sharp burst of electricity flared around Lightning Lad’s wrist.

The golden-clad boy smiled. “Also, I seem to be somewhat resistant to electrical shock in my extended form, as if I were made out of rubber. I’m not sure why.”

“Just curious—can you do the same with your other fingers?” Lightning Lad asked, skeptically.

“As a matter of fact, I can stretch any limb—or even my entire body.” The room exploded in a tangle of rubbery tentacles.

“I wonder if you could show that to Chameleon Boy?” Saturn Girl asked.

After Reep was found, and brought to the tryout room, “Elongation Lass” displayed her abilities again.

“So tell me,” Saturn Girl quizzed, “Could you replicate her stretching ability?”

“Well,” admitted Chameleon Boy, “I could replicate her appearance, not that I have seen it, but she has a kind of… what’s the word in Interlac? In Durlan we say xoghyru—the difference between rubber, which quickly snaps back to its original shape, and clay, which does not.”

“Elasticity?” asked Saturn Girl.

“Yes, elasticity, that’s the word. Her body is much more elastic than a Durlan’s.”

“How about we call you Elastic Lass,” Saturn Girl suggested.

“Does that mean I’m accepted into the Legion?” the newly-minted Elastic Lass exclaimed.

“Possibly. Let the four of us consult for a moment.”

After Elastic Lass returned to the waiting area, Cosmic Boy asked, “Imra, aren’t you being a little hasty?”

“Her powers certainly qualify her,” Saturn Girl defended herself. “With training, her abilities could prove quite useful. But I also want you to know—I didn’t try to read her mind, but there is just a nimbus of aspiration radiating from her that I couldn’t help pick up. She really wants to be a Legionnaire.”

CHAPTER SIX – PERFORMANCE REVIEW

Earth: the 3Oth century, Legion Briefing Room

“We gave you the primary responsibility of mentoring Elastic Lass,” said Saturn Girl. “So how is she doing as a Legionnaire?”

Chameleon Boy looked thoughtful.

“She certainly applied herself in training. Her elastic powers make her remarkably strong, tough, and agile, so we put her through Level Five physical training. She actually seemed to enjoy Mission Monitor Board duty; she quickly learned to match available members to the appropriate missions, and did not make the mistake of wanting to send Mon-El or Ultra Boy or Laurel everywhere. If anything, she slightly overestimated the other Legionnaire’s abilities, but I explained that we need to err on the side of caution: overwhelming force is better than losing a Legionnaire.
Her first mission was to the California Preserve. Another Back-to-Nature Commune managed to breach the field there and tried to set up camp, and needed rescuing. Elastic Lass’s powers make her something of a living lasso, which was helpful in safely corralling the legacy animals there, so that we could get the Commune out.”

“I believe she also had her first off-Earth mission?”

“Yes. Do you know who the Satan Girl Gangs are?”

“The what? No, this is new to me.”

“These are techno-thieves from Sklar, who dress in copies of the Satan Girl costume. They mostly succeed through intimidation; as their costumes are lead-lined, and they move pretty slowly. Elastic Lass had a good time rounding them up.”

“And how is she adjusting to life in the Clubhouse?”

“She seems to be doing OK. She associates with the other Legionnaires pretty freely, but has not really established any close relationships with individual members—not even with Ultra Boy, a fellow Rimboran. Her family sends her a supply of native Rimboran fruit every week, which she apparently really appreciates, but she doesn’t exhibit any other obvious signs of homesickness.”

“Anything unusual?”

“Well, she really doesn’t talk about herself, or her family, or her background that much. That is, she talks it a lot, but when I look back on it, there isn’t any real information conveyed. It’s mostly generalities. On a personal level, she is still something of a mystery.”

Saturn Girl smiled. “But then, on a personal level, so are you, Cham.”

CHAPTER SEVEN– SUSPICIONS

Earth: the 3Oth century, Brainiac 5’s Laboratory Complex

Saturn Girl found the Coluan Legionnaire at the central computer station. The wallscreen flickered as images flashed by faster than human eyes could follow.

“Brainy… could I have one-twelfth of your attention?”

“Saturn Girl, while I appreciate the fondness expressed in this pet name our companions have come up with, you know I would rather be addressed as ‘Brainiac Five’ or ‘Querl’ in formal discussions of Legion business.”

“Well, Querl, ‘Brainy’ is better than ‘Ice Queen’, so be grateful. I want to talk to you about our newest Legionnaire, Elastic Lass.”

“I have been pondering novel uses for her abilities, but they are curiously limited,” Brainac 5 replied. There are a number of interesting topological solids which she ought to be able to easily mimic, but I cannot see any of them being generally useful in the field. She seems skilled in creating ropes, lassoes, tripwires, and using her powers for accelerated locomotion. I am sure that working with me could improve those skills further, but I do not see that as a vital priority at this time.”

“I am more concerned with her personally,” Saturn Girl explained. “Chameleon Boy affirmed what I have noted—she seems to enjoy being a Legionnaire, does a good job, and associates well with others, but she also seems to be holding something back. Both Reep and I have noticed it. Something else else concerns me about her, but I cannot seem to put my finger on it.”

“Saturn Girl, I am not an expert in Human Psychology. Not to suggest an unethical procedure, but have you tried gently probing her mind?”

“I don’t need to. Her thoughts are so near the surface, she is an open book. She is clearly feeling fulfilled in her role as a Legionnaire—the realization of a nearly life-long dream. She is proud of her accomplishments, and cheerfully takes any assignment given her. She even agreed to take over one of Colossal Boy’s shifts at the Mission Monitor Board—without asking quid pro quo.”

“Your subjective assessments seem to contradict your objective observations. In my experience, objective data is more reliable than anecdotal evidence or subjective evaluation. If you continue to have concerns, formulate an hypothesis, and find a way to test it.”

“Thank you, Brainiac Five. Your input is valuable, as always. What project is it that the other 11/12th of your brain is working on?”

“If you mean, what am I paying attention to on this viewscreen, I am working on a project for the Science Police. After some months of inactivity, the privateer starship ‘Jolly Roger’ has been making incursions into United Planets Space again, plundering tourist vessels in attacks near Rann, Thanagar, and Ventura. They have been particularly successful in avoiding confrontations with both the Science Police and the Legion. The SP has asked me to see if I can discern any pattern in their attacks. I have a number of other projects I am working on simultaneously, and if you no longer need my rapt attention, I can return to another of them.”

“A human might say, ‘Well, I am kind of busy now, and I really do need to get back to work, but I always enjoy your company, so stop by any time. ’”

“Well, I am kind of busy now, and I really do need to get back to work, but I always enjoy your company, so stop by any time. Good-bye.”

“Good-bye, Brainac Five.”

CHAPTER EIGHT – LUNCHTIME DISCUSSION

Earth: the 3Oth century, Legion Clubhouse Cafeteria

Phantom Girl and Ultra Boy joined Saturn Girl and Lightning Lad at a table. Ultra Boy immediately began to key in his order to the tabletop autochef.

“Are we really the only ones here?” asked Phantom Girl, staring around the empty room.

“Everyone else is out on missions,” answered Saturn Girl. “Except Brainiac 5, who is in his lab, as usual; Chameleon Boy, who is working out in the gymnasium, and Shrinking Violet, who is on Mission Monitor Board duty.”

“A word of advice,” Lightning Lad amended, “Don’t go into the gym while Cham is doing his new routine. I’m skipping lunch today.”

“Not me,” said Ultra Boy, withdrawing a massive, multi-layered sandwich from the autochef. He handed a smaller plate to Tinya.

“What do you think of your fellow Rimboran Legionnaire?” Saturn Girl queried. “I would have thought you two would have a lot in common.”

“More than I have in common with that stick, Stig Ah. Elastic Lass’s OK. Kind of an oddball, though.”

“In what way?”

“That zerinfruit his parents ship in from Rimbor? Have you tasted zerinfruit? It’s ten times as bitter as grapefruit.”

“Wait—grapefruit? Bitter?” Lightning Lad interrupted.

“Sorry,” explained Saturn Girl. “On Winath, grapefruit is sweeter than honey. Like all Winathan fruit.”

“She eats it with every meal,” continued Ultra Boy. “Two zerinfruit at breakfast, lunch and dinner. Eats the peel, too. Seven days a week. Her parents send her a weekly box, each individually stasis-wrapped.”

“Forty-two.” Brainiac Five had walked up to their table.

“Excuse me?” asked Saturn Girl.

“Forty-two.” Brainiac Five responded. “Six zerinfruit every day, seven day a week. Her parents send Elastic Lass a box of forty-two zerinfruit every week.”

“You surely didn’t come down from your lab to do simple multiplication,” Saturn Girl noted. “what is it?”

“I am now an expert on Human Psychology,” Brainiac Five stated. “And I have learned that humans have a subliminal computational process known as intuition. This intuition provides humans with insights based on data inputs they do not consciously recognize. I was mistaken, Saturn Girl. You must ignore objective observation, and pay attention to your subjective intuition. Elastic Lass is a danger to the Legion, and possibly to the entire Galaxy.”

“Brainiac Five,” Saturn Girl responded, “How can you know that?”

“I do not know it,” replied Brainiac Five. “But you know it, Imra, and we must discover what it is you know. And call me Brainy.”

CHAPTER NINE – RESOLUTION

Earth: the 3Oth century, The Rimboran Tercel Tavern, Metropolis

Ultra Boy, Elastic Lass, and Chameleon Boy walk into a bar.

Bobo the doorman strongly resembles a gorilla, except he is clean-shaven, and has a somewhat smaller brain.

“Hey, Bobo,” hails Ultra Boy.

“Hey, Jo. Who are your friends here?”

“Just a couple of Legion pals. They’re all right.”

“They got I.D., right? Gotta have I.D. This is Metropolis. Hey, is that one a Durlan? We don’t generally serve shapeshifters. It makes the clientele nervous.”

“No, Bobo, I swear, he is not a Durlan.”

“So you are tellin’ me that I should believe your honest word, and not my lyin’ eyes? Hey, and this one’s I.D. says he’s only fourteen. Whadda you tryin’ to pull?”

“Bobo, I swear, he’s over fourteen. In fact, he’s over sixteen, and you ought to lead the three of us to a nice table, so we can all eat lunch together. And maybe order a half-dozen Silverales.”

As they are speaking, a tall, well, dressed man walks calmly, but purposefully, toward the exit.

“Hey, pal,” yells Bobo, “I need to see a credit flash from you, before you leave.”

Elastic Lass coiled herself around the tall man. “Hey, Dad, why are in so much of a hurry to leave? Don’t you have a few words for your daughter?”

“What are you, nuts? I’m not your Dad. This is crazy.”

“You’re right, you’re not my Dad. At least, I hope not.” Elastic Lass’s face morphed into that of Chameleon Boy.

“See, Bobo,” says Ultra Boy. “That’s Reep Daggle. I told you he was over sixteen.”

“You brought two Durlans into my bar? Whadda you, tryin’ to kill me?”

“Oh, that’s no Durlan,” replied Elastic Lass / Chameleon Boy, ponting to the second Chameleon Boy. “That’s my pet, Proty II.”

The other Chameleon Boy reverted to a yellow, shapeless mass. Bobo stared at it. “Proteetoo?” He looked at Ultra Boy. “When he says, ‘pet’, he means ‘girlfriend’, right?”

No, replied Proty II telepathically. I don’t think so.

“Stop struggling, ‘Dad’,” Chameleon Boy instructed the tall man. “The little guy is next to harmless, but the kid in the red shirt is Jo Nah, who sometimes doesn’t know his own strength. Maybe you’ve heard on him. I understand he’s big on Rimbor.”

“Where is my real daughter?” the tall man asked. “What have you done with her?”

“Don’t worry,” Ultra Boy replied. “We’ll take you to her right away. Bobo, put a generous tip on the Legion tab. This was a business lunch.”

CHAPTER TEN – EPILOGUE

Earth: the 3Oth century, Legion Briefing Room

“That’s too bad. I sort of liked Elastic Lass,” Laurel said. “She was tall enough that I could look her in the eye.”

“I never met her,” noted Mon-El. “I was away on off-Earth missions for weeks.”

“Her powers were only semi-natural,” Saturn Girl explained. “She was given an initial concentrated dose of a substance found in Rimboran zerin-fruit. Originally from Earth, zerin-fruit was brought to Rimbor by the Terran immigrant population. A thousand years ago, it was called ‘gingo’, but there are no surviving Earth-based strains left.

“In certain individuals, zerin-extract, or ‘gingold’ causes superhuman elasticity. But Elastic Lass had to keep eating zerin-fruit regularly in order to keep her powers active. The Science Police have kept her isolated from it long enough that she has completely lost her powers.

“Her name was not Jan Ol, either. Her real name was Jan Jor, and his father is Ro Jor, captain of the pirate starship ‘Jolly Roger’. Jan had sabotaged the Mission Monitor Board to alert her father when the SP and Legion were sufficiently distant, and sufficiently engaged, that they would not confront the privateers. She also programmed it to delay reporting the activities of the ‘Jolly Roger’ until they had accomplished their raids.

“Jan Jor does not know, and her father will not say, who they were working for, but the sophistication of the programming indicates someone with detailed knowledge of modern computing. The SP managed to pick up the rest of the ‘Jolly Roger’s crew after we sent falsified messages from Ro Jor and the Mission Monitor Board.

“The cowl she wore contained telepathy-blocking circuitry. I could read her obvious desire to be a Legionnaire without trying, but the reason she wanted to be a Legionnaire was concealed from me. Once I realized I could not see that, I knew why I had been so uncomfortable about her. After that, the abundance of zerin-fruit, her interest in the Mission Monitor Board, and her reticence with the details of her past were the clues that led Brainy and I to the answer.

“I am genuinely sorry to see her go. In other circumstances she could have been a valuable addition to the team. Perhaps after her rehabilitation—but will be in the future. The Legion may not even exist by then?”

“Hey! Long live the Legion,” said Laurel. “May it outlive any one of us.”

CHAPTER ELEVEN – EPILOGUE TWO

Earth: the 3Oth century, Legion Tryouts

14:57:OO

“It appears that our first candidate is Timehopper Lad,” declared Saturn Girl. “Please approach the platform, and tell us your name and super-power.

A hunchbacked, frog-like alien stepped into the spotlight.

“I am Croar Salmagundis of the planet Amphora. But I call myself Timehopper Lad. I have the ability to travel back in time up to one-half hour.”

“Can you demonstrate your power for us?” Lightning Lad requested.

14:59:OO

“OK,” replied the frog-like youth. “But you will need to wait for a minute.”

The group waited silently.

15:OO:OO

“Well, see you in the past!”

14:59:OO

“OK,” replied the frog-like youth. “But you will need to wait for a minute.”

“Here I am!” an identical frog-like alien appeared.

“So your power is basically, Duo Damsel’s, but you’re a frog?”

“I am not a frog,” the second Time-Hopper argued. “Amphora is a world where amphibians became the dominant life-form, rather than mammals, as here on Earth. I might as well call you a shrew.”

15:OO:OO

The first Time-Hopper disappeared.

“And my powers are nothing like Duo Damsel. I am from the future.”

“And where did your counterpart disappear to?”

“He is not my counterpart. He is me! And he went back into the past so that I could be here now!”

“Well,” said Cosmic Boy, “If you are from the future, tell us something that you saw there, so that we can verify that that is actually where you came from.”

Time-Hopper Lad was becoming increasingly frustrated. “But I am not from the future—at least, I was from the future, but not anymore. That future is now the past. I haven’t lived through this part of the future yet.”

15:O2:OO

“So let me get this straight,” Lightning Lad began.

“No, wait!” cried the Time-Hopper.

14:59:OO

“OK,” replied the frog-like youth. “But you will need to wait for a minute.”

“Here I am!” an identical frog-like alien appeared.

“So your power is basically, Duo Damsel’s, but you’re a frog?”

“I am not a frog,” the second Time-Hopper argued. “Amphora is a world where amphibians became the dominant life-form, rather than mammals, as here on Earth. I might as well call you a shrew.”

A third identical frog-like alien appeared. “Wait!” he cried. “You are going to ask me to tell you something I saw in the future.”

“And what is it that you saw in the future?”

“What I’m telling you—that you are going to ask me to tell you something I saw in the future.”

15:OO:OO

One of the Time-Hoppers vanished.

“Wait, what?” Cosmic Boy appeared confused. “When are we going to ask you to tell us something you saw in the future?”

“Well, in just about a minute. But now the past has changed, so now you probably won’t, because I already told you what you wanted to know.”

“Wait,” said Lightning Lad. “What was it we wanted to know?”

“You want me to tell you something that will happen in the future. And I am telling you: I am from the future, and you will ask me to tell you something that will happen in the future.”

15:O2:OO

The second of the three Time-Hoppers vanished.

“OK,’ said the remaining Time-Hopper. “You do understand my powers now, right?”

Saturn Girl looked at him carefully. “You can summon multiple selves from the future, but they only exist temporarily.”

“No, there are not multiple selves. It’s always me! There’s just me! Don’t you understand time travel?”

“Well, can you take one of us into the future with you?” asked Lightning Lad.

15:O3:OO

“No, I can only time-hop into the past. And I can only time-hop myself. Oh, forget it.”

14:56:OO

The Time-Hopper suddenly appeared on the platform, then stalked out into the Legion Try-Outs Waiting Room.

“Come on, let’s get out of here,” he said to his former self. “This is a waste of time. They’ll never let us into the Legion.”

“How long do I have?” asked the first Time-Hopper.

“About six minutes. Tell yourself when you meet him that they will never let us into the Legion.”

“Do we still get a flight belt?”

CHAPTER TWELVE – EPILOGUE THREE

Earth: the 3Oth century, Brainiac 5’s Laboratory Complex

Brainiac Five: “As you can see, the person in this image is not Pete Ross. He is far too young.”

Saturn Girl: “Who is it, then?”

Brainiac Five: “A reporter for the Daily Planet named James Bartholomew Olsen. He was known in the 20th century as “Superman’s Pal.”

Saturn Girl: “And you are sure this is where the timelines diverge?”

Brainiac Five: “Yes. It is perfectly clear. In one instance, Superman dies from exposure to a “Kryptonite Bomb”. In another, this James Olsen saves him by shielding the bomb with his own body.”

Saturn Girl: “He dies?”

Brainiac Five: “That is uncertain. This reporter Olsen has a strong meta-gene, although historically speaking, none of the transformations he underwent that we have been able to catalog seem to have been permanent. Kryptonite, especially in large doses, is known to have a powerful effect on meta-genetic mutation. Yes, it might kill him, or it might simply mutate him. But it certainly would kill Superman—at least in one timeline.

Saturn Girl: “So we need to teach Mr. Olsen to run toward danger, and not away from it.”

Brainiac Five: “I suggest we induct him into the Legion.”

Saturn Girl: “How? On what pretext?”

Brainiac Five: “One of his transformations, and the one which he could mostly control, was a ductile form in which he was called ‘Elastic Lad’.”

Saturn Girl: “Elastic Lad—you mean like Elastic Lass, Jan Jor?”

Brainiac Five: “Yes, and using a similar serum, also derived from gingo fruit. Though called himself ‘Elastic Lad’ in Old English, rather than modern Interlac. I suggest we travel into the past, recruit him as an ‘honorary’ Legionnaire, and put him through Level Four training. This should bring out the latent heroic nature necessary, and insure the continuity of the timeline for us. We made the same decision before, when we thought this individual was Pete Ross.”

Saturn Girl: “It seems an odd coincidence: Jan Jor used the name Jan Ol: a syllables similar to James Olsen.”

Brainiac Five: “Yes, and the initials J.O. spell “Jo”—Ultra Boy’s first name, another Rimboran. The Universe is full of such odd coincidences. Now, I have constructed a plan. I suggest that Mon-El lead a team back into the 2Oth century…”

Thanks for bumping this up, Klar. What an enjoyable read that was. So that is the story of Jan Jor - False Pretenses Lass (not Lad?). What a nice little mystery, I loved the way you unwrapped it bit by bit, with Imra's intuition and Brainy's analysis.

Loved the scenes between Imra and Brainy, too. You really captured the spirit of this young team, at a time when they are still getting to know one another and becoming good friends.

The failed applicants were hilarious - Libation Lad! Time-Hopper Lad!

And the epilogue showing the REAL reason Jimmy Olsen was invited to join was genius.

Oh, no, thank YOU, iBrainy.
If you carefully examine the panels (there are only two) you will see that there is no reason to believe, either from the text or from the illustration, that Jan Jor or False Pretenses Kid is either male or female.

So I went with female.

That is true! For some reason the name "False Pretenses LAD" stuck with me, but kudos for making the character a HER!