Legion World Forums LEGION OUTPOST Bits o' Legionnaire Business The Wedding of the Century!

You are Cordially Invited to the WEDDING Of the Century!:

Mr. Archibald Andrew Pureheart and Mrs. Veronica Betty Pureheart (nee’ Lodge) are proud to announce the Wedding of their son Samuel Archibald Pureheart to Brittany Jarlsdottir Quank.

The Wedding will be held in a Civil Ceremony in Founder’s Park at 11 AM on April 1, 3013 Presided over by the Right Honorable Quislet Esq.

The Wedding will be followed immediately by a Reception at SHAKES

RSVP to this thread.

Ohmygod! Like Sam... Why aren't my parents listed on the invite?

Umm... I'll talk to Mom, Brit, and get her to send out revised Invites.

You know how she is...

Sam, I'd have thought you would be smarter than to take a chance on Pissing Off Hrun!

He's not the calmest sentient in the galaxy.

Thwump!! Thwump

Two gold and diamond encrusted axes hammered into the invitation, cleaving it in half.
Attached to one was a note. Sam took it and read it with some trepidation.

“To the Sokemen Mr. Archibald Andrew Pureheart and Mrs. Veronica Betty Pureheart (nee’ Lodge)

His most high Excellency, Hrun, High Jarl of the barbarian nations, dragon slayer, hero of the nations, gives greeting. This wedding has not been approved by the High Council of the Barbarian nations; The honour of the nations has been insulted. How dare you, a commoner dare to think of marriage to a princess of a noble house. Nor shall I point out have you sought my permission to take my dottirs hand.

My fleet is making ready. WE shall visit you soon to discuss you error”.

(Bloody Liberty! I've been pulled in so many different directions that I've let this go in long enough! Sam Pureheart is no good, but I'm the only one who knows it!)

A fine invitation Sam. The calligraphy is a little modern for my tastes but who wants to nitpick? I have to say, I haven't heard anything about a bachelor party yet. Surely you're not going to have a send off with all your friends in the Legion?

< rudely walking away before Sam can reply, he approaches Brit >

So you're going through with it? Honestly Brit, what do you know abou this guy? Good looking EMT who saves people and is always doing the right thing? Sounds like a real bore. A guy like that must have a real weird dark side.

(Everything I say, she just dismisses. Even taking my shirt off and revealing my killer space abs probably won't work. And now I'm running out of time...)

Too bad Maxx and Stu won't be around for the wedding. I could use someone with their skills...

The Announcement flicks onto the screen of one of many Omnicoms Power Boy has on his desk in the office of the LMBP Leader.

Lolita and Power Boy's loyal two New Gods each hold Omnicoms working on different tasks.

The image of the wedding invitation flashes on the screen begging for attention ... Power Boy glances over it ... and promptly places another Omnicom on top, dealing with the next emergency he has to manage.

The message didn't escape Lolita's keen attention and she raises an eyebrow and returns to her tasks. She wonders if Power Boy dismissed it to be dealt with later ... or dismissed it entirely.

"Hey, look at this!" Blaze pointed at the Omnicom screen.

Invisible Brainiac glanced at it hurriedly. "Oh, how nice, a wedding." Then he promptly went back to his other Omnicoms.

Blaze waited patiently. He knew it would only take a few seconds for IB to register...

"WHAT?! Brit is getting MARRIED?!!"

I believe the phrase is; I told you so!

Ohmygod! You're such a like JERK! Yeah! Sam is the guy you hate, mostly cuz he's like the total opposite of your like slutty butt!

Honestly, Mr Cobalt, other than Dad and Gramps and Uncle Darden, You're the person I most want to be happy for me. So what do you do? You hate on Sam because he's not a SLUT like you!

<turns and stomps away sobbing quietly>

Ohmygod! Daddy, you and I need to have a serious like talk!

Which means I'm gonna be like talking and you're gonna be like listening!

Dinner, Gramps's house, TOMORROW!

<Watches Cobalt walk away with a look of undisguised hatred and contempt on his face.>

Invisible Brainiac taps his lip thoughtfully. "I knew Brit and Sam were seeing each other, but I never gave it much thought."

"I think it's great," Blaze said. "Awww, they got to have their wedding before us!"

"We'll have ours soon, baby," IB smiled. As he hugged Blaze though, his mind was moving fast. "What exactly do we know about Sam?"

As Ambassador of Legion World, I'll gladly talk to my old friend Hrun and smooth things out. This has turned into a public safety issue after all.

(And it'll give me a good reason to stay involved when I'm clearly not wanted here).

< gathers up some mead and roasted meats; orders some 'entertainers' to join them >

I wonder...will Brit's mother also be attending this ceremony?

Emily and Sebastian were having lunch at the shwarma restaurant in Charltonburg when they received the invitations. Sebastian was especially surprised that he was invited, I do not like Sam. I have had more interesting conversations with some of my rogues' gallery.

He said, "I am not going to this wedding."

"But we have to go, she's one of my closest friends! It would look strange if I went without you. Why don't you like him anyways?" Emily argued.

Sebastian replied, "He's too perfect, and his relationship with Brittany makes no sense. How could a mere paramedic simply fall in love with someone from a powerful family?" He stared at the invitation, trying to see if any of the names were recognizable.

Emily smiled, "How could a girl from a family of well-respected scientists and businessmen that occasionally try to rule the universe fall in love with someone with no family background and whose money is of questionable origin?" Her smile was hinted at a clever mind beyond her beautiful face.

"I know what you are trying to say--but we are nothing alike. Why should I go?" Sebastian asked.

Emily paused. She knew that Sebastian could be obstinate, but she could be obstinate too. It was time to lay out all of her cards. "We have been together for a long time. You are going to have to meet my uncle sooner or later, and he has a lot of strange friends. Think of this wedding as practice," She said.

Sebastian said, "Fine. We'll go to the wedding."
~~~~~
Dear Pureheart Family,

I am writing to RSVP to your happy occasion on behalf of myself and Sebastian Sage. I am a good friend of Brittany and wish to stand by her side on this happy occasion. I would be more than willing to help out the wedding preparations.

Sincerely,

Emily Sivana of Fawcett City

SENATE FOREIGN AND COLONIAL OFFICE
EARTH DOME


MEMO

FROM Senator Faraway Lad


TO Ambassador Cobalt



SUBJECT WEDDING PLANS /GUEST RELATIONSHIPS


It has come to my notice that the LMBP is planning another wedding and there will of course be an official press release setting out the Governments best wishes for the happy couple closer to the date.

However, as LMBP weddings have a, shall we say, interesting and explosive history, in the interests of public safety I would like to have a brief meeting with you to discuss the interplanetary situation vis a vis the wedding and the best way to ensure a peaceful ceremony.

I have been informed by our Ambassador that the High Jarl Hrun is planning a pre-nuptial visit and is bringing a war fleet with him. Perhaps as Ambassador you may be able to meet with him and discuss this visit with an intention to reduce the cost and expense to his Highness of bringing quite such a large fleet with him.

As the bride to be is my God Daughter I wish to also discuss with you some further private issues of my own if you would be so good to spare me the time. Please contact my Parliamentary Principal Private Secretary to arrange a suitable time.



Faraway Lad
Chair
Senate Select Committee for Foreign and Colonial Affairs

*Harbinger goes out shopping for a new hat, oblivious to the political fallout, potential barbarian invasion and skulduggery afoot*

Oh Brit, I'm so happy for you!

< hugs and kisses her friend >

To think, not only do we all have boyfriends, you're actually getting married!

< Lolita know that even though she doesn't really know Sam, the happiness of one of her best friends is one of the most important things. >

I can't wait to go with you to try on dresses! Especially since you know My will only be thinking of where to hide the barettas.

Bring me mead and wine daughter.

Tis time we had 'that' talk that all teenage daughters must have.


If that, that creature has touched you, well........

I promise not to kill him until after we have spoken so you may say your farewells.

Ohmygod! Daddy!!!! <nearly ultrasonic squeal of pure feminine Delight>

Sit down, like right here, <leads Hrun to an oversize divan> I'll have mead and wine brought up in a minute. I'm so like happy you're here!

Now tell me where you've been, why you didn't bring Mom like I asked you to, and what hospital you want to be sent to when I get finished with you the next time you threaten Sam or his Parents!

Ohmygod! Lo! My is going to be my Maid of Honor and you have to be a bridesmaid! Please say yes!

Invisible Brainiac plops down exhausted in his room.

"Well, how did it go?" Blaze asked.

"Oddly as expected. He saved the lives of six people today, cracking jokes to his teammates as he went. He comforted one little girl whose dad was being treated for a stroke by doing a magic trick, of all things! Volunteered at a packing center for relief goods on the way home."

"So, how far did you follow him? Did you see anything else interesting?"

IB glared at Blaze's emphasis. "I did not spy on him in the shower! Ewww, gross!"

"Aw, why not? He's cute!"

"Ugh. There's just something OFF about him. I haven't seen anyone with such a descriptive name in such a long time. It's almost like someone created a cartoon character and let him loose in real life."

IB thought for a moment.

"I'd better talk to Cobie."

“Bleachhhhhhhhhhhhh”belched Hrun and he wiped away mead from his chin. Raising one buttock he let rip with a huge and very smelly f&*t.

“Now that was a good meal daughter he said gently and quietly. “I am glad to see you have not forgotten all the things we taught you about your heritage”

“oh Daddy” said Everyday Girl, “I remember many things. Here, let me do one last thing for you before we talk”

To Hruns surprise EDG stood and walking over to the slave Hrun had brought to attend him took from her the Cup of Family from the silver tray the slave carried.

“Now skedaddle out of here” said Everyday “I need to talk to Daddy alone”

The slave looked from EDG to Hrun, who nodded and handing the Cup over bowed and left.

“Now Daddy, let me do this for you then we can talk and you better listen to me this time or you and I are going to fall out big time and I don’t want that and anyway Sam is …………”she caught herself. “No let me do this properly”

And to Hruns amazement she took the Cup and filling it with wine knelt before her father and prince reciting the ancient blessing she took a small sip and then handed it to Hrun saying “drink of this my lord, may it bring peace on your house and your family”

Hrun smiled at the slight emphasis she could not help putting on the last words. Taking the Cup he drank deeply. Then placing it on a nearby table he raised Everyday to her feet repeating the traditional response. “For your gift of wine I thank you I grant my blessing on you and yours. As you serve me so I shall protect you”

He led her to sit next to him. “Now” he said “what was that all about”

“Ohmygod silly” squeeled EDG “Now you have promised, you have to be happy for me and to leave Sam alone” she laughed.

Hrun roared with laughter too.

“Yes my daughter “ he said “I will keep my oath. I shall protect you”

Now that we've settled that issue, shall we bring in the naked dancers and next round of mead?

If we've got some time until the wedding, we might as well use this ground for some fun, right Hrun?

< motions to staff to start ushering in the entertainment >

< embraces his old friend Hrun, and then hurls an axe at someone's head, just missing and causing both to roar in laughter >

Now tell me. What was this I heard about Brittney's mother? I had thought you were both long out of contact with one another?

(And I suddenly have the best idea...)

“Noble Cobaltus” and Hrun slaps Cobalt on the back in greeting causing him to spill his drink.

“Now Daughter, tis time for you to retire, go child go” and he swiftly guided her out of the room. Turning to Cobalt he smiled “an innocent child should not be subjected to such sights” he chided Cobalt.

“Innocent” thought Cobalt, “Virginal certainly, but Innocent!!” He shook his head.

Hun threw an axe into a huge barrel of beer, expertly catching the beer as it gushed forth in two tankards. Hand one to Cobalt he shouted “drink friend” He clapped his hands and more dancing girls rushed in.

“now” said Hrun, “the child is gone let the adults carouse”