Legion World Forums LEGION OUTPOST Bits o' Legionnaire Business LMB Onevision: "Fleas" - a short story

Weber's World
The United Planets

April, 3012

"Make no mistake about it, Cobalt," said Ambassador Mirenna Helen, "this is your first true test. And all are going to judge you by it."



In the months after the Oval War, the newly promoted Ambassador of Legion World to the United Planets Cobalt Kid made sure to keep his eyes wide open and his mouth shut. He knew the score on Weber's World better than most sentients--including the politicians serving there--but he knew when it was time to learn and observe. And he knew his silence intimidated the politicians.

Cobalt Kid, and his mentor Ambassador Mirenna Helene, had proven to be incredibly successful in their execution of the fall of the Dark Oval. As proper spies do, they allowed all of the credit to be given to UP Prime Minister Maya adi Lva. And in response their stars continued to rise.

Mirenna, already one of the single most important intelligence officers in the entire cosmos found herself promoted to Head of the Security Council. She had been a member of the secret council for a decade and a half, and at long last the goal she had worked towards for 45 years was hers.

The Security Council was the single greatest government secret in the United Planets. Rumors of it persisted for decades. Evidence of it occasionally appeared to soon go missing. Academics lamented the likelihood of its existence. Deep in the hearts of most UP citizens, they knew it existed.

All spy games in the UP came down from the umbrella of the Security Council. Prime Ministers could along members but their influence extended no further.

With Mirenna's rise, she brought along her greatest student. The true planner and executor of the Dark Oval's demise, Cobalt Kid was named Ambassador of Legion World to the United Planets. This was, of course, a complete charade needed to have Cobalt Kid appointed to the Security Council as well.

Unknown to him, he was the youngest member in its history.

Better known to him was the uncertainty and mistrust the other members had towards him. He has no regard for authority. He follows only his own rules. He isn't willing to make the hard decisions. He isn't willing to sacrifice everything for the UP's security.

Can we trust him to do what is right?

Cobalt said little to them at first and simply took their measure. They were right not to trust him. Because he didn't trust them as he had no intention of playing by anyone's rules.



"Imsk continues to be a problem," said Mirenna. She looked as posh and aristocratic as she always did, and she spoke with a certain air of authority.

They were in her office on Weber's World which was immaculate. The carpets, furniture, original art: all of it was priceless.

"And the Prime Minister feels that in order to continue riding this wave of immense popularity, she needs an easy win," replied Cobalt Kid. Unlike other Ambassadors, he refused to wear the usual style of diplomatic dress. Instead he wore his LMB uniform.

"My dear, this grudge of yours simply must cease," she replied. "If you are adamant at expressing your dislike for the Prime Minister, others will feel you are going too far."

Cobalt did not respond. Despite helping her reach new heights of popularity and a generally amicable relationship between the Prime Minister and the LMB these last seven years, Cobalt Kid and Maya adi Lva had a falling out. Cobalt had begun to doubt the PM: her character, her morals, her placing the UP first. He refused to play ball. So she became vindictive to the LMB. And when Lard Lad was not granted amnesty, instead forced to go to jail for his crimes, Cobalt decided the PM was his enemy.

"Imsk needs to either be brought into the UP proper again so the healing process can truly begin...or I'm afraid they will be dealt with severely. As an example to all the other would-be traitors in the Oval War."

"And this will be my assignment?" he said, knowing the answer. "Very well. It's about time I used my skills in diplomacy."

"There is something else, Cobaltus. You are not going to like it."

Cobalt said nothing as he waited for the other shoe to drop.

"With you in these talks will be the Khunds."

A viscous grin came over Cobalt's face. "She's setting me up to fail then."

"Yes," said Mirenna matter-of-factly. "The Khunds proved themselves in the Oval War. There is even talk of possible probationary membership in the UP. And since you are the one who arranged our alliance with them, she knows it will look like a natural fit for them to accompany you to Imsk."

"She is a clever one, I'll give her that," he said softly as he thought it through. "The Khunds bloodlust will be sated in a way where they are actually held in higher esteem. The Imskians will be totally annihilated as traitors, and I'll be embarrassed and seen as a fraud diplomat who only was given his post because he's a Legionnaire. And she looks great no matter what."

"Dear boy, have you forgotten how serious this is?" replied Mirenna in a venomous voice. "That is one way it can go, yes. If you're not up for a challenge that is. No one ever said peace was easy. You will resolve this matter because you have to. Because billions will die if you don't and the Khunds will get away with it. I not only know you can do it--I know you will."

Cobalt nodded at the scolding, knowing she was right. "We have work to do," he said getting up.

"Make no mistake about it, Cobalt," said Ambassador Mirenna Helen, "this is your first true test. And all are going to judge you by it."

Imskian Orbit

He often thought of all the good the Prime Minister had done and weighed it against all the bad. One could not simply apply terms such as "evil" to a woman like her, because it was inaccurate. Most decision-makers in history were not evil, even when they ordered the deaths of too many to keep count. That was what made it so terrifying.

"A credit for your thoughts?" said a welcome familiar voice. Cobalt turned to see his companion of the Oval War, Juj the Durlan approaching.

"They aren't worth that much," said Cobalt as the two embraced. After all they had been through, they were like brothers. "What have you found?"

"A lot," replies Juj. "The climate on Imsk is intense. You need to make sure you read that front to back, Cobie. Especially the part about the Red Death and how that might effect you."

"I will. Thanks Juj."

"Will you need backup on this one?"

"No, I have it already in spades. I've got your next assignment though if you're up for it?" he said slyly.

"Somewhere nice, I hope?" said Juj with a smile. He was enjoying playing the role of intel gatherer for Cobie immensely.

"Earth," he said. "You'll love it."



Later in a more crowded room with numerous "officials", more introductions were made.

"Ah, Cobalt. I believe you met Attilak before."

"Indeed," replied Cobalt, shaking the Khund's hand. It was the moment he was dreading, as the Khunds forced their way into the Imsk affair. "We met on Khundia."

"Of course I remember," replied Attilak in a hoarse, gravely voice. "Not many humans enter Khundia and leave with their heads, not to mention brokering alliances. Ha!"

As he laughed, the other Ambassadors and military officers backed away in disgust.

"But what an alliance, eh? Would you could have seen us, Cobaltus, when we marched through Elia and ripped apart the Dominator scum one by one. The echoes of their screams are still bouncing off the walls! Hahaha!"

For the first time in recent memory Cobalt felt a wave of nausea undertake him--but he pushed it back. Though he had not told anyone yet, he often had nightmares of the Sack of Elia. To hear it spoken about as if it was a drunken boondoggle was soul-shattering.

"Yes, well, its proven to have worked well, has it not?" he said, humoring Attilak while the others were disgusted by him. "Hopefully Imsk is wiser."

Attilak laughed. "Cobaltus, we Khunds admire your bloodthirst. We both know they'll never surrender and rejoin the UP. Oh, there will be blood. And we Khunds will bath in it."

Imsk

From the moment they began, the meetings were intense. As time progressed, they grew into outright hostility.

"You tell that Prime Minister whore that the United Planets is a joke! It--and you, Cobalt Kid, can go fuck yourself!!" said the Imskian Vice President.

Cobalt tried to have his fellow Ambassadors play the role of the dove, offering carrots, but it was to no avail. They were brow-beaten into silence.

Attilak looked on with joy. His mere presence had incited the meetings immediately into something else. Peace was never an option.

The mixed signals between the submissive diplomats and blood crazed Khund were not helping.

He felt a familiar rush of adrenaline hit when he made the decision in his head to proceed. His heart was pounding.

"I believe now it is my turn to speak," he said at last.



As he spoke he rose to his feet which caught everyone off guard. In his LMB issues uniform, his well muscled body could be seen with every movement, and he purposely moved quickly into the aisle at surprising speed.

"Honorable ambassadors, I do appreciate your time. As you know, this is my first active mission for the UP and I'm sure I'll often look back with laughter on how I was told TO GO FUCK MYSELF. You can be sure, however, I am not laughing now."

Cobalt was a man who spent his entire life bundling up his emotions and hiding them in a place none could find. Though he was trying so hard to change, this was something he could easily slip back to. He could be cold. He could be calculating. His voice could have a gravel in it that made the room feel as if enormous pressure was pushing everyone to the floor.

"Allow me to simply point out several facts that may surprise you all," he continued, now honing in on the Vice President of Imsk, Lang Bartby, and staring deep into his eyes. "And this will let logic dictate what must be the only sure outcome."

"First: Imsk sided with the Dark Oval in the war which cost trillions of UP lives, after being a member planet of the UP for 25 years. Second: you lost. Third: regardless of any real grievance you had prior to the war, all any UP citizen will care about is they Imsk is rife with god damn traitors."

"Now see here--" began Lang, standing.

"SIT DOWN!" Barked Cobalt at the top of his lungs and the VP fell backwards into his seat as if slapped. "FOURTH! The "Khundian Menace", which is a term you Imskians have used and which, by the way, they love, has now gone from UP nightmare to the UP's newest ally. Relations with them are interesting as we come to an agreement on what is deemed acceptable behavior. During this uncertain period where the key goal is a continued alliance, certain miscommunications will occur. It is with this in mind that you should be aware that if we go to war, I have authorized the Khundian army to have three days full liberty on Imsk. Meaning, any crime committed against any Ismkian during those three days will be legal."

"Dear God," said one Imskian Ambassador. Now many of their faces went bleach white.

"Fifth," said Cobalt, and now he spoke in such a way as to imply he was personally angry, though this too of course was a lie. "I am aware that in preparation of this visit, you have acquired a 'Red Death' power dampener against magno-genetic assaults; this device being of course most commonly used in the Imskian-Braal conflict. This device will likely blow off the limbs of the Braalian using their powers. Know this: I am no Braalian. This device will not work on me. Of that, I am sure. But that leads me to my sixth and final point."

Now he stood directly in front of the Ismkian VP. "I have crafted my own device for all of you. With nanonites, we have now castrated your abilities to shrink and grow. Oh, you can shrink...at which point you'll never be able to grow again. For once you shrink down and grow back, the nanonites will trigger and rip you to shreds. This leaves you two options: do not shrink and face the Khundian menace as they ravage your people or shrink and hide.

"But know this. With my magnetism, I can detect the nanonites and I can use my abilities to swat you from the sky. I can pluck you from the carpets at will and crush you.

"Because to me, you are all FLEAS. You are a bothersome annoyance that I want out of my life completely. Either you will fall in line, or I will crush you."

BREAKING NEWS! Imsk rejoins the UP! Humble and asking to heal the wounds between the UP and themselves, Imsk pledges a long period of peace and brotherhood!"

"They're calling it another major victory for United Planets Prime Minister, Maya Adi Lva, whose approval ratings are now a record 92%."



To: Cobalt Kid
From: Attilak the Bloody
Subject: Your new ward

Cobaltus,

You continue to impress we Khundians when all other humans are weak and soft.

I am sending my son, Tamerlane, to act as your ward and adjunct. It is my desire he learn the ways of war from you.

This is a great honor among Khunds to gain a hostage of such high stature.

- Attilak



"Never in the history of Imsk has the planet been so insulted than by Cobalt Kid. The racial epitaph "fleas" will forever cause pain and despair in every single Imskian."
- Professor Ry Plm'r, Institute of Science and Math, 3015



His first night back on Webers World, he drank alone. The drinking ended when he smashed the bottle against the wall.

Mirenna sent a brief message: "no lives lost and Imsk restored to the UP. We are most impressed. A job well done, Cobalt."

He destroyed it.