Legion World Forums LEGION OUTPOST Mission Monitor Board Every 10 Years Forum Infinite Crisis

<SLAPS! Tamper Lad smartly>

you're hysterical. get it together.

<Zaps Frio with a teetotaler ray, Frio and Tamper start singing a duet...>

... Lips that touch liquor shall never touch mine...

the horror! the horror!

Tamper have you LOST yoru mind or has the antimoderator gotten to you.

(db lies down under emptying keg)

"glug glug gulp"

<appears in a fiery burst which only adds to the confused mayhem that the assembled crowds seem to be suffering from>

Sheesh! Things are not looking good here at all!

Come join us in our Temperance song. I sense the evil of the demon liquor is draining from the multiverse and the Anti-Moderator is weekening...

<Continues to sing with Frio>
Lips that touch liquor shall never touch mine.

<speaks loudly, trying to get the attention of the masses>

ATTENTION SENTIENTS!

Your universes are currently under assault by a malevolent being known as the Anti-Moderator. This creature is the living embodiement of pure formless void, of chaos without structure. He has conquered his own universe and left it to the anarchic whims of his own pet brutish s, the Naturals!

Even now his influence over your lives grows! Many of you have travelled to the Hypertime Bar seeking refuge, for this place alone is a nexus of pure stability in the multiverse. Yet even here the disorder that is the calling card of the Anti-Moderator is becoming dominant.

My friends, there is only one solution to this Crisis. We must impose a coherent plotline on this story! Only through making sense of the myriad of seemingly random events can the Anti-Moderator's influence be defeated. Please... I beg all of you to help me. I have seen what the Anti-Moderator is capable of... we cannot let him win.

*Gasp!*

Lucy’s right! And hot! But she’s right!

Let’s go over what we know!

Ahem
Over the last five years, the Anti-Moderator has been an arch nemesis of the LMB, being their most powerful and feared foe. He was responsible for the Crisis in Year Two that killed Foxy Roxy, Lexbose, Silicon Sandra and the Super-Holograms! He was responsible for the destruction of the Remarkable Worlds in Year Three! During the LMB’s Year Four, when they were at their lowest, the majority of them were transported to the Anti-Matter universe, where they saw a horrible place, overruled by the Anti-Moderator and his army, the Naturals. It was then that in the final battle, the LMB destroyed him!

But wait!

The nature of ‘all that there is’ is something far to hard to define. Other worlds, other Earths, other times and other continuities exists. Our very own Earth-2 is known to some as the “Post Crisis DC Universe”. But before this, even more continuities, timelines and worlds existed. These changes, and the subsequent damage and destruction to the timeline, which can easily ruin concepts, lives and ideas, were brought about by a being known only as the Anti-Monitor!

Though the Anti-Monitor was beaten and destroyed, the damage he did was irreparable! Ideas, concepts, continuies…gone! In the blink of an eye.

He died, but yet, he lived. For a being like the Anti-Monitor cannot simply fade from existence. The essence of such a being is passed onward, somewhere, in the grand scheme of what is only known as “the Universal Tapestry”.

Thus, 1,000 years later, on another Earth, in another timeline, in another continuity, the essence of the Anti-Monitor was passed on to a similar being: the Anti-Moderator! The LMB’s greatest enemy lived again! And this time, he held the most destructive means imaginable to destroy them!

to be continued

Months ago, the LMB re-catalogued their powers, as is part of the daily procedure of being a hero on the active roster of the LMB. There, we learned that Vee had become so in tune with his powers and so proficient in their use, that he could grow things on a molecular level, thus creating beams of growing molecules that, as a beam of sheer force, were in actuality unstable portions of the universe.

During a heated political debate amidst the LMB Constitutional Convention, the LMB were shocked to see Varalent suddenly disappear, leaving no trace of his whereabouts!!

Unknown to any, it was the Anti-Moderator, attempting to harness such power, that whisked him away.

Immediately, searches were planned and such, but nothing seemed to be working. Combined with the growing sense of political turmoil surrounding the LMB, and problems that naturally spring from the daily life of the LMB, such as the search for Kid Prime’s mother, other LMBers away on missions and the arrival of new LMBers such as Everyday Girl, it became harder to coordinate what was happening.

During this time, Eryk Davis Ester, as he always does, uttered the phrase “Jeepers!”, and was magically transported by his Luck Lord far away. For the Luck Lord knew that the only hope of the lay in this destination.

The Emerald Empress also gained immense insight, through the power of her Eye, and immediately took into space to find Vee.

Further, Quislet, Esq. without any reason grew to an immense height, precisely as he planned to announce his engagement to the Royal Inquisitor, now reformed.

During this madness, the sentient known as Banshee attacked Takron-Galtos, in an attempt to free the Red Bee. During this melee, most of the LMB were off-planet, leaving only Cobalt Kid and Reboot to combat them. The LMBP Spectre intervened, and knowing what was to come, sent Cobalt far into space to somehow set plans into motion to stop the upcoming crisis.

While the Red Bee was caught, Takron-Galtos was destroyed, so that the Red Bee could later easily escape his confines.

Meanwhile, Queen Connie, showing some sense, began to gather a large group of Super-Pets and LMBers together to attempt to figure out what was causing insane events, such as red skies, shadow-demon attackers and other such things. In the sewers of Legion World, it appeared as if Caliente and Frio were instantly killed!

Worse, the Morality League of Qward, an elite squadron for the Anti-Moderator had gained control of Abin Quank, in an attempt to harness the power of his ring. Disaster Boy, Tamper Lad and Legion Adventure Man were dispatched to help him, and were soon joined by Stealth and Faraway Lad.

The Red Bee, escaping, found allies in the Riddler and Lucifer Lass, and began plotting to Unite the Villains and destroy the LMB. Unknown to any, Lucifer Lass was working with the Anti-Moderator.

The tears in space and time began to rupture, so that a giant tick army from another dimension invaded Earth.

During all of this, Cobalt Kid instantly appeared on what can only be deemed as “The Monitor’s Ship”, and was shocked to find that Eryk Davis Ester was also there! There, they were able to peer into other realities and continuities, as well as watch their LMB allies.

What they saw shocked them! The Emerald Empress, close to finding Vee, was attacked by Anti-energy, as she bravely sought to help the LMBer. There, she bravely died, but not before ordering her Eye to save Vee’s life, and carry out a secret plan that could help the LMB in the end.

In was then the Anti-Moderator realized that his attempts to use Vee’s power and Abin’s ring would not work, and he abandoned his plan. At this point, the away team to Qward was successful and returned, at the exact moment Frio and Caliente seemingly perished, before Tamper Lad’s eyes.

Cobalt Kid used his telepathic link to contact Princess Crujectra, and instantly, many of the LMB learned of her death. With this knowledge, Space Ranger could take it no longer, and became enraged in a fury, preparing to end things once and for all.

At this exact moment, the united villains attacked Legion World, under the orders of the Red Bee and the Riddler.

Princess Crujectra and Crusader were able to join Cobalt Kid and Eryk Davis Ester, as other LMBers, such as Reboot, Faraway Lad and Abin Quank, made their way there. What appeared to be the major-domo of the ship, a being called Bizarro Computo, began to interact with them, and was pushed for answers by the LMB. At this point, Bizarro Computo was revealed to be an agent of the mysterious enemy, who was actually sentient inside Bizarro-Computo. Unleashing an attack, the mysterious entity, killed the Monitor and destroyed his ship, causing the LMB to make their way to a circling asteroid, which overlooked the beauty of Star 69.

One LMBer that did not make it was Eryk Davis Ester, who was seemingly kidnapped to a place known only as Elsewhere.

However, just like the essence of the Anti-Monitor cannot be destroyed, neither can the Monitor! He passed on his knowledge to the Jectra twins, Crusader and Spellbinder! It was such an overload to their senses, that Crujectra shared it with Cobalt Kid through their mind-link.

Immediately, the Anti-Moderator knew that they held that knowledge. Using his mastery over time/space/continuity, he helped manipulate the Ggrrgg/Psyonia War to get them away from the LMB, which worked for a time, as members of the LMB were drawn into that fray.

Back on Earth, Lucien Lad began to act strangely as well, and it was soon revealed why!: because of the weakness of the universe and reality, the barrier between Earth-4 and Earth-1 had weakened and Glamour Puss (the Earth-4 Lucien Lad) had journeyed to Earth-1, kidnapped his counterpart and took his place! Worse, he had control of a powerful black diamond and became the ultra-powerful Gay-lipso! Much worse than that, he had some type of hold on the LMBP Spectre, who had her own reasons for working with him.

This exact weakness in reality caused a race of creatures known as the Daleks to overtake the ticks, and push forth a new agenda, to destroy all the universe and remake it in the image of the Daleks!

Thus, at a critical moment, the universe became imperiled all over! The Villains were United! The Daleks moved forward on their Project! Ggrrgg went to war with Psyonia! Eryk Davis Ester was Elsewhere! Gay-lipso and the Spectre unleashed a Gay of Vengeance!

It was up to Vee to rally them in space, and get them back home to work together.

Doing precisely the same at home was Invisible Brainiac, at the Legion World Temporary Command Center, marshalling the LMB forward.

Things became severely chaotic, and nearly every LMBer became involved, whether it was Lash Lad being ‘Too Pretty to Die’ (with the very much alive Caliente) or Tamper Lad and Nova Girl leading a team to Earth-4 to find the Earth-1 Lucien Lad.

In a moment of trickery, Cobalt Kid led the Ggrrgg army into a trap that caused them to be ambushed by Cobalt’s triumvirate army. However, this was only after a bitter fight broke out between Abin Quank and Cobalt Kid, Princess Crujectra and Crusader were disowned by the Psyonia Royal Family and Outdoor Miner was forced to go days without a trace of alcohol.

Another war came to a violent and bloody conclusion, as Queen Connie’s army of Super-Pets and LMBers destroyed the remaining ticks and armies invading Legion World, although they were exhausted and hurt.

Harbinger, Faraway Lad, Reboot and others battled the Daleks, and were able to stop them, but only after confusion, loss of continuity and a shaky plotline were sicked on them. Truly, the Anti-Moderator was at work here.

The Villains used this time to destroy Legion World and hurt many of the sentients there, until finally, Space Ranger had enough. He single-handily beat back almost every single villain on the planet, showing a strength unmatched by any LMBer before. However, it was too much, and the Red Bee and the Riddler used this to their advantage, and killed the noble fighter for justice. Anger and outrage among the LMB ensued, and a team fought their way into the villain HQ, only to see Everyday Girl show that she was not to be messed with, as she blasted the Riddler and the Red Bee with her 9mm and ended the villain war.

The battle with Gay-lipso raged on as well, until finally it appeared as if Gay-Lipso was taken down—but he remained far too powerful to control. It was then that the Spectre revealed her plan: to combine the two Lucien Lads into one being, and use the combined nostalgia powers of them both to somehow maintain the integrity of the universe while the LMB battled the Anti-Moderator!

It was then that the Anti-Moderator truly was revealed, as Lucifer Lass and Eryk Davis Ester saw his horrible visage! Sensing betrayal, Lucifer Lass saved Eryk Davis Ester for her own mysterious purposes and brought him back to Legion World.

However, Legion World was at the epi-center of the anti-madness!

Chaos! Confusion! Reality falling apart! Time a limp noodle! Division in the ranks!

The LMB, and the Grand Tapestry, were in peril!

The Spectre enacted her plan, and she and the combined Lucien Lads were able to stave off the destruction and hold reality together, while the majority of the LMB battled back the Anti-Moderator!

Then, a plan! A small group, comprised of Eryk Davis Ester, Cobalt Kid, Invisible Brainiac, Outdoor Miner, Faraway Lad and Emerald Vee (now using the Emerald Eye) would journey to the Hypertime Bar, knowing it as the only real thing that anti-matter could not destroy! For you see: the nature of anti-matter is so great, that it must consume everything. But in doing so, reboots and retcons allow the universe to restore itself.

Thus, this gives the anti-matter a continual purposes, to destroy what the universe is constantly recreating.

The Hypertime Bar exists outside of continuities and realities, and is immune to retcons, reboots, endings and mock destructions of timelines. It must always be, for that is the nature of it: what happens there can never be undone!

Thus, the Anti-Moderator realized the ultimate goal! Destroy the Hypertime Bar! For, to destroy the one place immune to retcons and reboots, it would destroy what could not be recreated, what could not be re-fed to it! Which quite possibly could destroy all!

Cut to the most present of presents: Vee has found his own purpose, to fulfill the Empress’s plan, and somehow battle the Anti-Moderator and save reality. The Spectre and the Lucien Lads are holding time together. Reality is collapsing. The group at the Hypertime Bar are now in harms way, as the Anti-Moderator attempts to get to them. All that stands between he and them is the entire united team of the LMB, every member from every era, active, retired, reserve or honorary.

We are at the crux, and we have lost our way. Well, no more! Remember the basics, remember what this is all about, and let confusion fall away. There is a coherent story, and therefore must have a natural end. Let us go to it!

C’mon LMB! You’ve got your story! Give me our ending!

Sweet Ass Sweet!!!

THIS ONE’S FOR SARYA AND SPACE RANGER!!

You'd think by now we'd actually quite good at dealing with that particular peril wouldn't you? Strange how logic doesn't always work...

Are we? Gosh. You learn something new every day.

There's us thinking we weren't paying attention adn we're actually holding the whole universe together.

I suspect we might all be well and truly screwed...

who do i have to kill to end this?

<pops knuckles>

Probably almost the whole of the LMBP. That would be the most efficient way.

That being said we'd probably only get retconned back into existence a week later so it might not be worth it.

Great Kaiser's Bun! We're in the Hypertime Bar! Dead means dead here! There'll be no bringing back anyone who is killed in this place!

I do believe Banshee was trying to kill Red Bee.

*Three Outdoor Miners, all of whom look exactly the same, continue to teleport keg after keg to various locations on the World Without Beer, working to resore that world to normalcy and hide the brewski from Tamper*

First things first!

[Wraps Tamper Lad in webs]

Quick someone pour whisky down his throat! That should snap him out of this madness!

Gakkk... Gakkk webs....

Keep Singing Frio. We must prevent the Anti-moderator from destroying the Hypertime Bar. After we destroy all beer and whisky, we'll get women the vote.

There's a joke there about compounding errors, but I value my skin too much to make it.

*continues to 'port away brew*

Take that Anti-Moderator.

You know, Tamp, you just may be confusing "Anti-Moderator" with "Anti-Moderate" here.

I think I would have noticed if Legion World women somehow lost the right to vote.

Dread not, I have just surrounded the Hypertime bar with 1,000 angry Kryptonian suffragettes. (Do you know how hard it was to charter those bloody streetcars to come out here?)

Anyways I told them that if the A-M wins, they will never get the vote, which is true from a certain point of view.