Legion World Forums LEGION OUTPOST Mission Monitor Board Every 10 Years Forum Medicus One - Faraways Death Bed

get me that monkey!!!!

EDE's Legion of Calamity Pets must have some strange connection to the apparently innevitable death of Faraway Lad!

I'd elaborate, but I keep looking at "innevitable" and wondering if I spelled it correctly.

Maybe we could all hold up lightning rods, letting one of us sacrifice ourselves that Faraway might live?

It's so Silver Age it's gotta work!

And given the long history of the majority of LMBers holding rods, it's the most natural choice!

(Ouch!)

A large number of Varengian Guards enter Medicus One. Some quickly take up positions either side of the door and around the room, whilst other approach the gather watchers by the bedside. Roughly elbowing Gigglebot aside, one turns to Doctor One.

“The Lord Faraway shall not die here, he must be honoured in the traditional ways of our Tribe” A very sharp wicked looking knife is waved menacingly at the doctor

“Faraway is not dead, not yet” shouts Gigglebot, “what are you talking about”

“silence wench” shouts the Varangian, turning and hitting Gigi with a vicious back hand, knocking her across the room. Before anyone can move the Varagians have their long thrusting spears pressed up very hard against some very nervous throats.

No one moves and there is a tense silence in the room.

“Now shouts the Varagian” bring in the byre, we must take the Lord Faraway to his funeral”

As Gigi gets to her feet, helped by the Gay Green Giant, she starts to shake.

"Cobalt" she shouts, "I thought you were supposed to be helping me"

"somebody's put Faraway into a coma and I want to know who"


Turning to look at the assembled LMB'ers her distraught face twisting in anger and fear, she says

“somebody must have got close to him, through the Faraway force, it must have been a teleporter”

Just then a friendly voice says

“did I miss something” says Outdoor Miner, brining in the beer.

“You! You’re a teleporter, it must have been you” Says Gigi, and before anyone can stop her she pulls out two Lollypops from her thigh utility belt, and powers up he battle armour.

“Take That” she cries, sending one lollypop spinning toward the LMB’er causing them to duck as the whirring blades swooped close overhead. The second lollypop is fired straight into Miners mouth and explodes in to a large sticky, almost unbreakable toffee mess. Within seconds Miners mouth is complete gummed up.

It was only the intervention of Harbinger and the G G Giant that stopped the whole thing turning into a very major fight, and they hurriedly led Gigi off in the direction of Shakes bar.


“now there’s a comeuppance,” says disaster boy

“hey” shouts Yellow Kid in all that kerfuffle, did anyone see where they took Faraway’s Body.

Lollipops?

this is what happens when i go to the restroom!!!

you just let some barbarians run off with faraway. what did they do outwit you?

guess i better find my pants, there's some barbarian butt to kick.

is that barbeque i smell?

<enters>

What the hell is going on, here?

Woo
Big and hairy and absolutely yummy barbarian butt you mean. You don't think that silly little toothpick had me worried do you?
If that hunky Hrun fellow is going after the skinny goth chippie then I'm in. I owe her one and I intend to pay up, that nasty Avalon place ruined my best pair of boots.
Witch.
Do you Hrunny bunny likes green?

Do you even have to ask?

Oh, wait, I just got caught up on the plot...

What I meant was: Mm Nh Mnmn Huh m Mnn?

<pulls out Triumvir gladius>

Step back, Varangian. Though I can see why you’re upset over the fate of your lord, I am telling you he is not dead.

And as my primus pilus, I have some authority of Faraway Lad’s cohorts. Do not force me to enact that authority.

<puts sword up to Varangian leader’s chest>

Stand down. Powerless I may be, but I still have years of training in swordplay, which will be more than enough.

The Varangian officer, tall blond and heavily muscled looks down on cobalt and his sword pressed against his chest. A half smile plays on the Varangian’s lips as his eyes lock on Cobalts and stare.

After a few seconds, the Varangian’s eyes flicker slightly downwards and the smile becomes broader.

Gulping Cobalt Kid realizes that he is aware of a sharp pricking sensation in his groin. Looking down he sees the Varangian’s spear blade pressing up close to his family jewels.

Slowly he withdraws his sword from the Guardsman’s chest, “ahem, lets not do anything hasty” He says.

“I am glad the most noble Triumvir has seen sense” says the Guardsman in a soft voice. “We honour and revere the man who gave orders to our Lord. But I must remind you that with the death of my Lord Faraway, the oaths that bind us to him and through him, to you, fall. We have one last duty to perform and then we are free to seek another gift giver to serve”

Behind him Cobalt feels rather than sees the rest of the guardsman relax and hears the soft swish of steel on cloth as swords are returned to their scabbards.

“I know you wish to honour your royal leader” Says Cobalt Kid “but you must know that he is not dead, not as long as he stays in that stasis/time warp field that is”

“So say thou” replies the Varangian, “But the Lord Faraway is no longer in that field, and as we have talked his body has been spirited away to the Dragon boats, and from thence to his funeral pyre in a secret location known only to us”

Spinning around Cobalt Kid realises that it is indeed true, Faraway’s body is gone.

“No! You fools, without that stasis field Faraway will die!”

>pops in from nowhere<
Perhaps someone could die in his place?!?

You can do that?
Hey.
We might just have a workable solution going here. We'll only need ONE of those old metal rods and NO Proteans at all.
Imagine Lightning Lad's relief.

Sure i can do it. I mean that IS the sort of thing that i do.

Ok, I'll start digging through the old comics and see if I can find whatever happened to those things. Sounds like you and I are going to attempt something REALLY crazy...and everyone thought a mission to the Pocket Universe was a long shot...

Just to be sure, I'd hand ded all the rods you can find.

Although now that I think about it, instead of bringing Far back, wouldn't this just give us Dedaway Lad?

Naw, the Daxamite doctors assured me it would work right this time. After all, they were kidnapped by Disaster Boy, threatened with serious bodily harm and forced to use their expertise to help Faraway, why would they lie?

Ah, yes.

What *was* I thinking?

So we going to try this?

I'd recommend you wait for Miner to get back from Castle Faraway with the body first.

Good point Kent. My powers don't actually lend themselves well to teleportation and we've seen the potential problems that can result from mucking about with the time stream.
Ye gads, I don't want The Man of Tomorrow messing around with the LMB.
One of Red's mercenaries managed to find one of the metal rods on e-bay for me and unless that cairn Saturn Girl used has somehow grown legs and walked away from the Lightning World we're good to go, Dedman.
I swear, you really CAN find anything on e-bay.

I just used a poltergiest portal to look in on Miner. He has Faraway is is about to return.

Prepare the Lightning rods!!!