Legion World Forums LEGION OUTPOST Mission Monitor Board Every 10 Years Forum LMB Infinite Crisis Tie In: Gay Of Vengence

Is this gonna hurt us, IB?

>Behind Dedman a nebulous black rip in reality appears. He reaches back with one hand into the rip. As he extends his other hand twin rays of Ebony light shoot out. One attaches itself to Pagan Lass, the other strikes (and sticks with) Invisible Brainiac.<

Quickly IB and Pagan Lass.....I can feed you the energies of the Poltergeist Area to boost your powers, but only for so long. You MUST defeat him quickly, before it is too late!!!!!

Ok, Teri Hatcher I can cope with being. At least I've gotten to snog Dean Cain in the past. Hmm, speaking of which....

FZZWWWAAAMMMMM!!!!

There, now I've turned LAM into Dean Cain in his boxer shorts. Not with any powers or anything apart from looking hot and not being able to act terribly well. MWWAAAHHAHAHHAAA!!!

Oh, and IB stop that with the light thing. It's not gonna work. It just means that i have to magic up some sunglasses, but since they go with the outfit I'm not terribly annoyed.

Deddy on the other hand might be more of a problem. I'm not quite sure if he's magic based, but never mind, I shall do something anyway.

FFFZZZWWWWAAAMMMMM!!!!!

>Gay-lipso/Teru Hatcher releases an enormous amount of energy and turns Dedman into.... an ordinary alive person<

MWAWWAWAAAAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!

Enough of this freak, let the magic freaks handle him.

Come on Nova Girl, we should hit the drive-in theatre before LW completely reverts from the effects of my 1957 reboot bomb.

I've heard that there's certain pleasures to be had there. One small problem, I think my Mercury already reverted to 31st century sub-compact. The backseat is gonna be a tight fit. Lets go, Invasion of the Body Snatchers is playing.

***Whack***

That's five...

<Looks around as the twin light sources play over the scene>

I don't know if we can defeat her ***Whack*** thats six, this way, Deddy...

But I can make her A$$ glow cherry red for a week...

***WHACK*** Thats seven...

I've turned into Dean Cain? Yowza...only trouble is...am i supposed to fall in love with Teri Hatcher?

Well, if'n ya like honey bun.

Hang on a second, aren't I usually the one that does the whacking round here? Right, enough of this.

>Gay-lipso grabs the paddle from Pagan Teenage Geek and bops him on the head with it<

I may be Teri Hatcher, and I may want to please my greatest fan but really, you're starting to take liberties. Now, how to distract you? Ah!

>Gay-lipso/Teri Hatcher whips down her top and flashes her boobs at Pagan Teenage Geek<

Now, go entretain yourself in the toilet while I deal with these other annoyances...

>upon being turned ordinary Dedman breaks his own neck and dies. The body turns to mist before it can even hit the floor. The vapours swirl and solidify into a new Dedman. He begins feeding energy to IB and Pagan Lass. A third stream forks of and hits LAM, in an attempt to return him to normal<

WHA HA!!! nice try Glamour Puss, but that trick has been tried before!!!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Arial, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Arial, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by Glamour Puss:
<strong> Well, if'n ya like honey bun.

That might work on your average teenage geek Gay-Lipso, but in reality my boobs are much better than Terry Hatcher's.

<Flies around in front of Dean Cain/LAM, puckers up his pimply face and... and opens his arms wide...>

A big wet kiss might do it for ya, Gay-Lipso...

Wraps arms and legs around Terry Hatcher/Gay-Lipso and Plants a big wet pimplefaced fanboy kiss on him/her...

Oh Darn, Deddy, i was starting to enjoy being a hunk...oh well, thank you for the "nudge"...

no prob LAM......now lets get this guy...i can't keep up this energy stream for long......

One quantum-stream....coming up!

None of this is doing any good. LAM might as well be pole dancing for all the good that quantum stream is doing...


Wait a minute, That rotten kiss Terry Hatcher/Gay-lipso just gave me...

That's the answer...

What-what kiss?, Pagan Lass - you must be hallucinating....

Not you! I kissed Terry Hatcher/Gay-Lipso! I planted a big pimply fan-boy kiss on her but she just pushed me away... Like he/she was disgusted...

That's not the way i read it, dear...

Read it again... Dearie...

Just.....do what you.....can..............

......I can't...keep this.....going.......

....there's....just too...much...power..........


>Dedman's energy stream from the Poltergeist Area grows even stronger...and wilder. Smaller objects begin to slid into the rift behind him<

Ohmigod....some unseen anomaly had twisted your words around - its not your fault, Pagan Lass - a diabolical force is at work here!

Yes, I can use those if they are...

Brads! Hundreds and Hundreds of Brads...

And I"ll turn all of them into Pimply Faced fanboys, Lusting after Terry Hatcher...

And They'll become Pimply Faced Fangirls lusting after Gay-Lipso when he reverts...

Oooh, you're evil Pagan Pimply Teenaged Geek. Evil.

I like you.

But...

The Brads are not from my reality. I've never had any interest in them, I like my men more... enslaved. Plus more real. I like to find them in bars. Or, more precisly, spot them in bars then kidnap and make them my love slaves. Oh yes. It's fun, you should try it some day.

But you won't defeat me with transformed Brads for I shall just blast them to smithereens.

FWWZAAAP-KABOOOOOOOMMMM!!!!!

>In a horrible explosion of pimples and fangirls innards the transformed Brads are blasted to bits. Even Gay-lipso looks rather perturbed by the resulting mess covering a large area of Legion World<

Urgh. That might not have been the best way to dispose of them...

>the energy stream ends....the rift closes...dedman collapses his body covered by his tattered cloak. An eerie high pitched wail comes from his crumpled form<

oooh, I think Dedman has sprung a leak. Did anyone know he was an inflatable doll?

You are about to find out just how evil I am Terry Hatcher/Gay-Lipso!

For each one of the Brads you just destroyed you will spend an extra day trapped in the body of Terry Hatcher, Oh and by the way it's now the 28th day of her cycle, but don't worry I've frozen her cycle for you, so you're not ... but you can't have any fun either.

Another thing you should consider is... The death of that many Brads is sure to wake our Lucien Lad...

And he's not going to be happy with you...

C'Ya, Bye!

Hmph. Right, stop that Pagan Lass. I won't have you subvert my magicalness. I'm the big villain here, I'm the one doing all the evil stuff. I am all powerful. I am channelling both the glam force (which isn't magic but acts as a catalyst to make magic even more powerful but also means that offensive magic or rebound magic can be diverted under a metaphorical carpet) and the ultimate magic of the Legion World Universe! I have humoured you for a while by pretending to be Teri Hatcher (having boobies, even quite small ones, was quite fun, but I am bored now). You could even have defeated me with the LAM/Dean Cain pole dancing idea but no, you missed that opportunity when Inflatable Dedman cured him. Ha! You are likely to be your own undoing, as all power mad lunatics are (hmm..... I do hope that's not some kind of foreshadowing again) so I say PSHAW! to you threats and I say

FFFFZZZWWWAAMMMMMMM!!!!

To being Teri Hatcher. I am now returned to my ultra fabulous Gay-lipso form and look, I have created a Dean Cain slave all of my own but I shan't have him distract me by pole dancing, no. Look...

FFZZAWWWWM-KABBLOOOOOOIEEEEE!!!

Yes, I blew him up to! Ha! Didn't see that one coming did you? No, because like all great villains I am highly unpredictable and easily distracted by other things and reveal my ultimate plan and usually the flaw in said plan at the drop of a hat and just generally rant and usually trap the heroes (which in this case would be you guys, with the possible exception of Deddy who I think might need a puncture repair kit or something) in a fiendish and deadly looking trap which in fact has a fundamental and intensely stupid flaw in it while I wander off and commit some random act of crime that doesn't really have a vast amount to do with the main plot but gets me out the picture for a while so that the heroes (again, you guys) can escape and regroup and come up with some fiendish plan that will defeat the villain or villains (in this case yours truly) just when the villain or villains (me) think that they're about to succeed and thus humiliate them and make them so cross that they make a mistake and are defeated, usually in such a way that they are probably killed but don't actually leave any kind of corpse behind so that they can come back at a later date when no-one is expecting them and do the whole thing again.

Now, was I supposed to be doing something else? Oh yes, a deadly trap to capture the heroes while I go off and commit my next act of evil.

See I have decided defeating magic is a little pointless. After all at least some of my own powers come from magic (see above rant re: glam force) so if I destroy it then I by default make myself less powerful which is inherently a stupid idea. *But* if I'm not going to destroy magic then what should I do instead?

That's right! I'm going to go and destroy science now. How clever am I? Genius, I tell you, genius! And first I'm going to start by turning all of Tamper Lad's computers into large computer shaped chocolates with soft strawberry cream centres. MWAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!