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 Re: Attention, earth-dogs!
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Originally posted by Quislet, Esq:
Thora,
Welcome back to Legion World. I hope you will have a better stay this time.
I'm not sure that your request for handmaidens and slaves can be filled, but in the mean time why don't you come in to Shakes and have a nice drink. Sit down and relax. I am sure someone will be playing the piano before long.
Quislet, Esq. I have been ordered by the Council of Elders to behave correctly while here, male, so I suppose I should thank you for your offer to get me drunk so that you can no doubt have your disgusting way with me. Unfortunately for you, I do not drink the mind-poison you mud-worms call "liquor".
On MY world, which your robot space-probes contacted only a month ago, a superior MATRIARCHAL system exists! There, women are the stronger, dominant sex!
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Re: Attention, earth-dogs!
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Originally posted by Cobalt Kid: As Head of the Office of Security Thora, I've decided to come over and say hello. While I don't think it's possible to provide seven male slaves, you might want to see the Emerald Empress on the possibility of renting out her harem from time to time. Seven hand-maidens may be hard to do, it'd have to be on a volunteer basis only, but there are plenty of women on Legion World.
Now, I just wanted to say that I hope there's no trouble, especially between us. I realize we have a history, but that should just make us better friends  . Sure, we went to war on each other and had a child together, but that sort of stuff always happens. So, I'll stop by from time to time to see you, and you're always welcome to come by my security office.
Oh, and if you're ever in the mood for a good time, just let me know  I'll thank you to keep your distance, male... if you value that strand of thread dangling 'twixt your legs, that is! By the way... Your daughter is beautiful. I have named her UMBER after the color of her eyes. Current plans call for me to have her prematurely aged so that she might slay you soon!
On MY world, which your robot space-probes contacted only a month ago, a superior MATRIARCHAL system exists! There, women are the stronger, dominant sex!
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Re: Attention, earth-dogs!
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Originally posted by Italian Boy:
okay, i volunteer to be a male slave I have seen the holos of your handsome visage, male. You will enjoy being my slave. Now disrobe-- AT ONCE! And join me upon my mountain of satin pillows.
On MY world, which your robot space-probes contacted only a month ago, a superior MATRIARCHAL system exists! There, women are the stronger, dominant sex!
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Re: Attention, earth-dogs!
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Originally posted by icefire:
Hey Thora nice to see ya!!!! Could you BE more fake? Do not speak to me again until you can be sincere, male.
On MY world, which your robot space-probes contacted only a month ago, a superior MATRIARCHAL system exists! There, women are the stronger, dominant sex!
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Re: Attention, earth-dogs!
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Originally posted by Fat Cramer:
I could never work for somebody who called me an earth-dog.
Perhaps some time on Legion World will teach Thora to show respect for people. We meet again, Fat Cramer. I apologize for my use of the term "earth-dogs". I find a female of your caliber such a refreshing change from the other dim-witted strumpets that seem to be the female population of this planet. Of all of them, YOU are the only one I might someday call "friend". After trial by combat, of course.
On MY world, which your robot space-probes contacted only a month ago, a superior MATRIARCHAL system exists! There, women are the stronger, dominant sex!
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Re: Attention, earth-dogs!
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Originally posted by Thora: Originally posted by Cobalt Kid: [b] As Head of the Office of Security Thora, I've decided to come over and say hello. While I don't think it's possible to provide seven male slaves, you might want to see the Emerald Empress on the possibility of renting out her harem from time to time. Seven hand-maidens may be hard to do, it'd have to be on a volunteer basis only, but there are plenty of women on Legion World. Now, I just wanted to say that I hope there's no trouble, especially between us. I realize we have a history, but that should just make us better friends . Sure, we went to war on each other and had a child together, but that sort of stuff always happens. So, I'll stop by from time to time to see you, and you're always welcome to come by my security office. Oh, and if you're ever in the mood for a good time, just let me know
By the way... Your daughter is beautiful. I have named her UMBER after the color of her eyes.
Current plans call for me to have her prematurely aged so that she might slay you soon! [/b]Hm, that's great to know! So, my daughter may wish to slay me soon. Is there any chance I could see this beautiful baby? A girl needs her father's love you know, and after losing my last child (and wife), I'd love to have the chance to see my newest baby. Her name is Umber? That's...curious to say the least. I already know a girl named Umber, have you met her?
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Re: Attention, earth-dogs!
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Originally posted by Harbinger: and if not at least she could get a decent hair cut.  Dim-Witted Strumpet Exibit A
On MY world, which your robot space-probes contacted only a month ago, a superior MATRIARCHAL system exists! There, women are the stronger, dominant sex!
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Re: Attention, earth-dogs!
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Originally posted by Vee:
Well, Thora, fancy having you wind up here on Legion World. Hopefully you'll find a way to fit into the life here. If you give it a chance you may well find that you really can have a good time among everyone here at LW. I am honestly trying to fit in here, male. I was akin to royalty on Taltar so sometimes my mannerisms may not mesh well with others here. And to them I say: "Off with their male heads!!" Ha. Ha. That was what you mud-wallowers call "a joke". See, I am trying.
On MY world, which your robot space-probes contacted only a month ago, a superior MATRIARCHAL system exists! There, women are the stronger, dominant sex!
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Re: Attention, earth-dogs!
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Originally posted by Semi: Hey Thora. Word has it Space Ranger is still smarting after his last encounter with you. I'd steer clear of him for a while.  You must be speaking of the nonsense propaganda you cretins made up in that ridiculous story you wrote about me.
On MY world, which your robot space-probes contacted only a month ago, a superior MATRIARCHAL system exists! There, women are the stronger, dominant sex!
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Re: Attention, earth-dogs!
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Originally posted by Arachne:
Handmaidens? On Legion World? Hmph, the women of LW are not servants, kiddo. Your going to have to find an alternative. Dim-witted strumpet exibit B.
On MY world, which your robot space-probes contacted only a month ago, a superior MATRIARCHAL system exists! There, women are the stronger, dominant sex!
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Re: Attention, earth-dogs!
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Originally posted by Fat Cramer:
Thora seems to be missing two essential principles of Earth customs:
1) dogs are highly valued members of our society; the term "earth-dog" should not be used as an insult
2) despite this, cats should never be referred to as "dogs", just as dogs should never be called "cats".
Just some of these things which aliens so easily trip up on. Once again you are the only one here who is making an honest attempt to understand me. For this I thank you. Perhaps you would come over one evening and enjoy some time with me and my slave Italian Boy?
On MY world, which your robot space-probes contacted only a month ago, a superior MATRIARCHAL system exists! There, women are the stronger, dominant sex!
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Re: Attention, earth-dogs!
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 16,863
Time Trapper
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I see that you take the time to respond to everybody individually rather than issuing a "form" post, Thora. That certainly is evidence of good breeding. Perhaps we can be friends. Would you prefer combat by field hockey or equestrian meet?
Holy Cats of Egypt!
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Re: Attention, earth-dogs!
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FC, maybe you could get Thora to let me see my baby daughter. Thora's notion of me is not as accurate as she thinks I'm afraid. I would like to just see her, and be the best father I could be.
Who knows Thora, you and I could become good friends!
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Re: Attention, earth-dogs!
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Fat Cramer,
As I have been studying up on typical female-bonding rituals on the mudball quaintly called 'earth', I have decided upon our trial!
We shall engage in Trial of Ice Cream Consumption!
On MY world, which your robot space-probes contacted only a month ago, a superior MATRIARCHAL system exists! There, women are the stronger, dominant sex!
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Re: Attention, earth-dogs!
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Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
FC, maybe you could get Thora to let me see my baby daughter. Thora's notion of me is not as accurate as she thinks I'm afraid. I would like to just see her, and be the best father I could be.
Who knows Thora, you and I could become good friends! It is too late, foolish male. I have spoken with my plants in the Taltaran Scientific Abominations Department. They have infored me that our beautiful baby was accidentally sent back into the past on a planet parallel to earth. I fear that you-- nor I-- will ever see our beautiful daughter Umber again...!
On MY world, which your robot space-probes contacted only a month ago, a superior MATRIARCHAL system exists! There, women are the stronger, dominant sex!
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Re: Attention, earth-dogs!
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Joined: Jul 2003
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Time Trapper
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Excellent choice. Choose a place and time. I shall begin training immediately.
Holy Cats of Egypt!
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Re: Attention, earth-dogs!
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Fat Cramer,
We shall engage in our trial at the place called "101 Flavors from 101 Planets"!
On MY world, which your robot space-probes contacted only a month ago, a superior MATRIARCHAL system exists! There, women are the stronger, dominant sex!
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Re: Attention, earth-dogs!
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Wait, wait, wait a minute. Our baby has been lost, sent back in time to a parrallel Earth? And her name is Umber? I'll never get to see her again... ...wait a second. UMBER?!! UMBER is my daughter?!!! The alternate Earth homecoming Queen?! And I've tried to hit on her?!!! Thora, our daughter is not only alright, but she is an LMBer and lives her on Legion World! I hope you guys could meet soon! We're stereotypical comic book family now! <give Thora a big hug> Sorry Thora, but you're cute when you get all demanding
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Re: Attention, earth-dogs!
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Legionnaire!
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Originally posted by Thora: Originally posted by Arachne:
[b] Handmaidens? On Legion World? Hmph, the women of LW are not servants, kiddo. Your going to have to find an alternative. I think I'm being insulted. The question now is: poisonous bite, or simple entaglment? True, biting's not very ladylike, but then, neither is Thora.
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Re: Attention, earth-dogs!
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Originally posted by Cobalt Kid: Wait, wait, wait a minute. Our baby has been lost, sent back in time to a parrallel Earth? And her name is Umber? I'll never get to see her again...
...wait a second. UMBER?!! UMBER is my daughter?!!! The alternate Earth homecoming Queen?! And I've tried to hit on her?!!!
Thora, our daughter is not only alright, but she is an LMBer and lives her on Legion World! I hope you guys could meet soon! We're stereotypical comic book family now!
<give Thora a big hug> Sorry Thora, but you're cute when you get all demanding Back OFF, male! Do you jest? My daughter is ALIVE and HERE on this planet? You said she is a queen! Excellent! Hopefully she has been true to her Taltaran heritage and enslaved many, many males, as is her royal perogative!!! I bet she is a warrior of the finest stature! WHAT!!!! You tried to HIT on her...!?!?! You... filthy... male!
On MY world, which your robot space-probes contacted only a month ago, a superior MATRIARCHAL system exists! There, women are the stronger, dominant sex!
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Re: Attention, earth-dogs!
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Originally posted by Arachne: Originally posted by Thora: [b] Originally posted by Arachne:
[b] Handmaidens? On Legion World? Hmph, the women of LW are not servants, kiddo. Your going to have to find an alternative. Dim-witted strumpet exibit B. [/b]
The question now is: poisonous bite, or simple entaglment? True, biting's not very ladylike, but then, neither is Thora. [/b]Fine, I accept your offer to be my handmaiden. I'll need a bath drawn shortly. I like my bathwater at medium warmth and scented with lavender. You will enter the room exactly 15 minutes after I get in the tub to scrub my back. And see that my after-bath wrapping is suitably warmed and fluffed prior to my donning it!
On MY world, which your robot space-probes contacted only a month ago, a superior MATRIARCHAL system exists! There, women are the stronger, dominant sex!
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Re: Attention, earth-dogs!
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I didn't realize you were still awake hon! I gave you a hug before and you didn't respond to it, so I figure you don't mind if I physically show my admiration for you from time to time . Afterall, you are my daughter's mother.
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Re: Attention, earth-dogs!
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Joined: Jul 2003
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Time Trapper
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I always suspected that Umber's stupid valley girl routine was just a front. It makes a lot more sense now.
But does this mean Cobie gets stuck with her credit card bills now? He's going to have to start charging people to post rather than pay them.
Holy Cats of Egypt!
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Re: Attention, earth-dogs!
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Joined: Aug 2003
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Substitute
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Thora: may I suggest that you take full custody of your daughter Umber immediately? Children can be such a disappointment. You will certainly want to begin a re-education program for her; she has undoubtedly been negatively affected by her time spent with lesser minds.
Justice comes at a price. What are you willing to pay for it?
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Re: Attention, earth-dogs!
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Wanderer
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Wanderer
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Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water...
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