Legion World Forums LEGION OUTPOST Mission Monitor Board Every 10 Years Forum Cobalt's Office of Security - Super, sexy 70's addition

OK.

So we end up with fewer Imps and Gnomes.

How exactly do we lose here?

People, calm down!

Everyone in the magical world know that slugs like pepper because it is an aphrodisiac to their kind, they can't mate without.

I have already begun investigating the gnomes, I have activated the mystic bananaus bagus spell, which will sober them and allow me to converse with some non-inebriated gnomes and settle this disput.

ew....i think i just stepped in imp poo!

fallout from the recent LMB Infinite Crisis?

Don't be fooled, people! Clearly this Cobalt Kid is deviously trying to pull one over on us. Maybe he's an evil twin, clone, or under the pernicious influence of Phineas B. Fuddle!

Just to be on the the safe side, I'll have to restrain you.

[puts handcuffs on Cobalt Kid]

*CLICK*

(puts handcuffs on STU)

You are being too much of an instigator. And that man is my "boss."

*CLICK*

<magnetically rips handcuffs off>

OK, everyone, let's settle down! We've got a full on Gnome/Imp War brewing and now isn't the time for in-fighting.

(Thanks Tempest!)

We're not all Security Officers, but as LMBers, we can split into two groups: Stu, Outdoor Miner, LAM, Disaster Boy and EDE in one group, and the other with me, Tempest, Everyday Girl, Jailbait Lass and possibly Arachne, Harbinger, Fat Cramer, Spacey and Crujeckie too.

Ohmygod, I wanna go with that ultra-cute Icon, Mr. STU, if you don't mind Mr. Cobalt.

And Anyway I don't think I'd be of any help with the Menage-a-Idonthavethatmanyfingers, you're obviously planning by taking almost every female LMBPer with you...

I'm just not that kind of girl.

Hm, I'm not sure I have any idea to what you're referring to EG, but I think it can be arranged.

A little advice...I heard around the bath houses that Stu's nickname is "Mr. French Tickler"...take that as it is...

Ohmygod, Mr. Cobalt, I'm not French but being around Mr. STU does tickle me...

That is what you meant, Isn't It?

Of course, of course. I would never imply anything at all inappropriate.

And if you think he's good-looking now, wait until you meet StuChiaElephant! That boy's snout makes other female elephants giddy with delight!

OH.MY.GOD!




Ohwaitaminute, "other female elephants"?? are you trying to like tell me something here Mr. Cobalt?

Is there something I should know about the Ultra-Cute Icon that is Mr. STU?

Um...I...I better not say anymore.

<overly dramatic look from side to side>

Let's say he's lived a very looong life, and has made sure he hasn't gotten bored with that aspect of living...

Ohmygod, you mean he's like over thirty????

I knew he was old, but that's like ancient!

But he's still like Ultra-Cute and an Icon, and it's not that much older than I thought he was.

30? If you mean 30 centuries, you might be more accurate.

Still, he looks about mid-20's, and even younger when he's in puppy form. We're still not sure if he started as a human and can change into animals, or vice versa though, so I'd get vaccinated first, to be on the safe side.

Ohmygod, You're just messin' with me now, I can tell. Gram said she's known Mr. STU since he was just a wee little thing, and even she's not that old.

[cute smile] I think you're jealous! [/cute smile]

Ohmygod, I forgot to tell you that I knew he can change into animals.

I want him to become STUPony...

Er, has your gram told you where she met the old timer? Pre-Egypt, I think, although your gram doesn't look a day over 20. If you thought 30 was old (and trust me--it is!), 300,000 is ancient.

STUPony will be tons of fun, I'm sure, especially since he likes being rode all the time, but I'd watch out for STUDonkey...that's when horny become ornery.

Ohmygod, 300,000? But, wouldn't that like make Mr. STU God-Like like?

OhDearHeavens, it isn't enough that he's like Ultra-Cute and an Icon, now I find out he's like an ancient god or something!

[earsplitting squeal of pure delight!]

[SWOONS, gracefully]

Hm, you may be on to something. Just remember though, that most ancient gods are not loving and caring gods, but vengeful and angry gods, that reign down plagues upon people, by killing their first borns and turning them to salt.

Who knows you many young ladies Stu has turned to salt over the years? Not to mention the locusts and frogs that fell from the skies...most likely STULocust and STUFrog were there too. And if you think a princess kissing a frog is romantic, wait until you've never seen STUPoisonous Toad before...

[Unswoons, gracefully, of course]

Ohmygod, I know an ancient god personally, you know, Bast, You Know, and she's very loving and caring, except if you piss her off.

And anyway STU isn't like that! He's Ultra-Cute, and an Icon and God-Like! He's not all stinky and mean and he'd never turn me into a pillar of salt.

You're just jealous 'cuz he's a bigger Icon than you.

And Cuter, and <span style="font-size: 30px;">Much More STUDLIER</span>.

SO THERE!!!

I remember that one time, when I was STUsheep and Cobie was drunk. Believe, me, I ran for my life...!!!

(And you can't spell "stud" without STU... )

There is no Gnome/Imp war brewing, I have it under control, now respect my authorita!!!

Update:

I dealt with the Gnomes, it seems Cobalt Kid stepped on one of them when he was drunk one night. So, they decided to use their powers against Legion Worlders. They get drunk before casting spells because that increases their coordination skills.

Once I explained this to the Imps, they relized that they didn't have any reason to get so fussy and have gone back to their normal ways.

Crisis Averted!

Ohmygod, So, like you you want us to pay you for going out and getting hammered with a bunch of short guys.