Legion World Forums LEGION OUTPOST Mission Monitor Board Every 10 Years Forum Cobalt's Office of Security - Super, sexy 70's addition

While no-one is looking ucien Lad sneaks into the security office. The porcupine on the reception desk doesn't look up since, you know, Lucien Lad, and thus doesn't notice as Lucien Lad sneaks into the nearest toliet and starts dropping stink bombs down every u-bend. Lucien Lad then sneaks out again as the smell of rotten eggs starts to thread it's way around the building.

Hm... just how old IS Lolita, anyway?

Oh, Lucien, stink bombs are SOOOOO UNfabulous.

86... But a young 86

She's permanantly stuck in the body of a 16 year old! And a fine body it is!

How come Jailbait Lass never speaks for herself? Is the poor girl a mute?

Well, she's been very traumatized as of late, after the Red Bee buried her alive.

I brought her here to Legion World when it opened, and she works directly for me. We dated when I was, er, *whisper* 19 *whisper*, and we've stayed in touch. She's fiercely loyal to the Security Office and to me personally. She's an excellent admin too.

And she says all she needs to with that look she gives...

I figured that she was pretending to be a ventriloquist's dummy, what with your hand up her dress and everything

I wonder if Jailbait Lass is related to Coma Girl.

*The Red Bee sits in a cell, waiting for Takron-Galtos to be repaired after the recent destruction by Banshee and the horrible murders committed by the Bee himself. His mind has been rendered completely useful thanks to the LMB Spectre. He continues to see the horror that he has shown others, over and over again, and truly knows terror.*

*Lucien Lad passes his cell, unaware that the Red Bee’s heightened senses have picked up the residue of his nostalgia powers. The Red Bee’s true origin and powers remain a mystery to the LMB, and his biology even moreso. Nostalgia sets in…*

Mmmmm…

*The Riddler, relatively unnoticed until now, watches not too far away. The crisis has left him free to walkabout, with scarcely any LMBers not directly involved in various problems. He approaches the Bee*

*The Red Bee stirs*

I…I remember. Ah, nostalgia. For the good old days, when I gave them true horror, and watch them slowly divide apart. They pulled it together, of course, and worked it out as a team. In a way, I’m directly responsible for that—and I’m thankful too. I love the LMB, of course. I just want them to know fear.

And they will.

AGAIN.

*The Red Bee looks directly into the Riddler’s smiling face.*

This story is not quite complicated enough. Let’s make it worse.

<grin>

<laughs maniacally>

Heeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheehee...

Hrun staggers from the command centre, the effects of a tick infestation still making him a little woozy.

Holding his hands over his ears,

"Shut up little green one"

And he lands a huge uppercut on the Riddlers chin knocking him up and out of the cell through a wall.

"Hrun have headache"

Hey, Hrun! How'd you get out of Invisible Brainiac's force-shield? You're supposed to be teaming up with me and him as we approach the Mother-Of-All-Shadows...

LAM administers his quick hangover "remedy"...

Hrun shakes his head as the hangover cure works.

"LAM tis thou. How did we get here? I think those ticks are to blame. As dimension hopping parasites they seem to leech some things into us as well taking our memories. I seem to have dimesion hopping powers or at least thread hopping powers for a short while"

"Quick we need to find Invisible Brainiac, where is he"

Back in outer space, most likely, wondering where the heck we got to...so we have to teleport back where we came from - are you ready, Hrun?

Will there be maidens a plenty, will there be mead to drink and vension to eat. shall my axe sing as it exhults in the joy of battle?

Then Hrun is ready

LAM remarks, with wry bemusement:

"When the crisis has passed, Hrun, then you can return to your ravaging ways...Here we go...

*Appearing before a dumbfounded IB*

"Holy smokes, you guys", He exclaimed, "I just about gave up on you...I have the Mother-Of-All-Shadows at bay for the time being"
LAM says: "Good work, IB...just in time for me to make sure the MOAS is tucked away within one of my quantum freeze whammies"
Hrun pounds his fist against the flexible force-bubble, saying:

"I was dragged away by false promises...where be the nubile wenches at my beck and call?"

Royal Inquisitor,

Rumor is that you've decided to play it straight and work on the side of the LMB. Pity for you. We are all about enjoy a bit of fun, of the variety that you once enjoyed. The offer is there to join us.

Your refusal, of course, will be our cue to bring about the murder of Quislet, Esq. The decision is on you...but you've never had a problem with blood on your hands before.

- The Red Bee.

PS- We'll make sure it's brutal

I heard it all, you miscreant!

I will fly off now to warn my good buddy, Quis!

So there!

*choke*

(What do I do, now? I can't let them hurt Quis...do I even really like the LMB? Why did such a decision have to come now, so close to happiness?)

Quis, I...I think we need to be extra vigilant. I'm going to grab my atomic axe, in case we need it...

Roy,

Don't worry. Red Bee's threats are hollow. I know I make a big target right now, but that still won't help the Red Bee.

You're the perfect size to swat an insect, Quislet dear...

A green mist suddenly starts to rise and engulf the main office. With a brilliant flash it dissipates, revealing Vee and the others that had been on the asteroid.

Well, we're here. Roy, fill me in on what is going on that led to your urgent OmniCom message.

Quis? What the heck happened to you my friend?

<from nowhere an info panel appears on Cobie's desk. It smells slightly of sulphur>

To: Cobalt Kid
From: Dedman; security officer

VERY IMPORTANT
CODE MAUVE SECURITY: EVEN YOU SHOULDN'T READ THIS

Hey Cobie!!!

We seem to have a bit of a problem with Glamour Puss. He has become Gay-clypso and is either trying to kill all magic users or turn them gay (I'm not entirely clear on that bit).

Anywho, Pagan Lass is giving him a spanking right now but i don't expect that to last much long, though it did give me time to send this message.

Ol' Glamour Puss doesn't seem to realize my link with the Poltergiest Area is magical in nature. Perhaps we can use this to our advantage?

Well thats it for my report. Until we come up with something better, we must battle this fiend.

Dedman

<Villains burst through the gates of the Security Office, catching Quislet, Esq. and the Royal Inquisitor by surprise. Even more surprising is that they are not the target—the statue of the Emerald Empress is.

Somewhere not so far away, the Red Bee and the Riddler are laughing.>

Bah! Quis, it is time to act! Let’s follow these villains back to their base!