Legion World Forums LEGION OUTPOST Mission Monitor Board Every 10 Years Forum Cobalt's Office of Security - Super, sexy 70's addition

Well I got that one wrong...

Tamper beat Luna by over a minute...


Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(I must be getting old)

Don't worry, Ranger, can i buy you a beer?

<The rampaging mob has made its way to the Office of Security from the untamed streets of Legion World, leaving a trail of smashed parking meters and mail drop boxes in its wake.

A siege of the Office of Security is initiated. All the entrances are blockaded as the crowd forms barricades sealing access.

From the crowd a discharge of weapons, then the flash of a wide spectrum electromagnetic pulses disabling all electronic gear inside the Office of Security.>

It's like Desparate Housewives in here.

<Spellbinder, Crusader and Maxx drop down from the sky to land before the entrance to the Security Center>

People, I implore you, lay down your weapons and disperse. There are better ways of voicing your grievances. There is no need for anyone to be hurt today.

<Follows the mob quietly using his power ring to repair any and all damage they do.>

**Sigh** A janitor's work is never done....

The mob issues a press release echoing their placards.


Manifesto of the SPQL

The para-millitary police state apparatus that has terrorized Legion World for too long. The SPQL exists to restore decency and good governance to this world through revolutionary means if necessary.

We implore those who would be free from tyranny to stand and join us as we overthrow the fist of the oppressor and the instruments of his rule.


Demands regarding the Siege of Office of Security

• As a gesture of goodwill we demand that Jailbait Lass be immediately released from Cobalt's Den of Depravity.
• Space Ranger is to be exiled
• Cobalt Kid must be removed and turned over to the mob to stand trial

-End Communique-

Well, let's see. First, I wasn't aware that Jailbait Lass was being held against her will. Are you certain that your intelligence is correct?

Secondly, since Space Ranger has broken no Legion World laws that I am aware of, there really are no grounds for him to be exiled.

And last but not least, witch hunts are so 19th Century. Not that it matters, since, like Space Ranger, Cobalt Kid has broken no Legion World laws that I am aware of, and hence cannot be put on trial.

My suggestion would be to forward your list of grievances to your local Congresssentient. It will be up to them to determine whether or not there is a need for new legislation.

Thank you for voicing your opinions in a more peaceful way.

Good day

<Cobalt Kid stands on the roof top>

"Look, up in the sky!"

"It's Cobalt Kid!"

<Cobalt removes cape, revealing toga>

"He's so dreamy"

"What's he got?!"

<Cobalt flies down with 15 kegs magnetically>

People, please! No one wants a riot! Don’t be dupes! You’re Legion Worlders, and you’ve got it good! And I promised I’d always protect you and I always have!

Now how about a beer?

<a massive keg party ensues>

<Jailbait Lass turns to Cobalt>

"Release me? Can’t a girl have a job around here without being treated like some prisoner? What blatant chauvinism!”

“Tell me about it,” says Cobalt, “to think they wanted the legendary hero Cobalt Kid, and Space Ranger, the most decorated ranger in the nearest 18 galaxies…”

(Invisible Brainiac flies overhead, surveying the mob and watching against any possible meta-powered rioters)

It should be fun to see them try to break through the light bubble I encased the Security Office in.

I just hope nobody thinks to try and teleport in. Poor Jailbait Lass is terrified enough as it is.

(IB spots the keg party that started)

Hey! Save some for me!

Jinkies!!!

<What was once shouts and jeers has turned into loud rounds of ‘Row, Row, Row Your Boat’, as Cobalt Kid, Emerald Empress and Space Ranger start a fundraiser to raise money for the Rigel Fever fund by having a kissing booth.>

<Appearing from convention>

It's pointless Cobalt Kid, I've selected this mob based on alcohol intolerance.

They will not lift the siege until you have submitted to revolutionary justice.

<returns to convention>

I'n not sure alcohol intolerance exists on Legion World. We're pretty much a nation of Benders.

[It’s a Wonderful Life]

People gather around the piano, as Christmas music plays.

“Mr. Martini, how about some wine?” says Mary Tyler Moore.

People start piling money on fundraiser table. An older gentleman gives Jailbait Lass a little necklace.

“Ladies and gentleman…LardLad!”

<LardLad enters in pilots uniform, and grabs a glass. He raises it>

“To my brother EDE…the richest man in town!”

<Cobalt notices a book.>

“What’s that Cobalt,” asks Emerald Empress. On it reads: “Cobalt, always remember—no man is a loser who has friends. And kegs and Togas. Your friend, Dr. Mayavale.”

<a bell rings>

“You know, Lucien Lad said, every time a bell rings, a reincarnated former villain achieves former enlightenment!”

“That’s right honey…atta boy Mayavale…atta boy”

Should old acquaintance be forgot…

[It’s a Wonderful Life]

MeooW

*He's such a good boy! A little slow at times but dependable and we love him all the same! Good Cobie.

Now I'd better go see what ll that ruckus is about. I'll bet it's that impertinent Tamper Lad causing trouble. If he is I may just have to take matters into my own hands.

Faraway Lad walks calmly through the crowds, talking gently to small groups of them. Using his full diplomatic powers he pursuades them that Tamper Lad is in error and that they should return to their homes and loved one's.

The diplomancy works and larges sections of the crowd disapate back home.

Between the beer and the diplomancy Tamper Lads mob now numbers only a few dozen deluded followers.

<Cobalt Kid now uses his rhetoric to compliment them on their fiery attitude. He then turns that into pressure for them to sign up for the armies of the Triumvirate. Now the decision is up to them to lose face and look cowardly, or go home as the day turns to evening>

[aside to Faraway] Let's see how tough the really are...

<Tamper appears, gathers remaining supporters round and transports them to a secure, undisclosed location>

Tamper--wait!

All I wanted to say was that this can be worked out without violence. I don't see how anyone here fundamentially opposes anyone else...

<a giant Peant Butter Cup appears, and a sputtering IB pulls himself out of it>

It's no use, Cobie, we can't follow him. He's got the place booby-trapped!

Cobie!! Stop chasing my man!! Just let him be his evil self and all will be relatively peaceful. Anyway, we have business to discuss.

<takes a seat>

I believe I heard a rumor about some kind of security camera footage or something depicting me in a less-than-wholesome image. I will be willing to drop any legal action against you and the security office if you'll just give me all copies of said tape...

This must stop!

While I beleive this place is more than respectable, and Space Ranger could get chronic diarrhea I and wouldn't give a care, I think Tamper Lad needs to be STOPPED!!!

Legion World has already dealt with Red Bee and Evil Priestess that blackened the world, this is not needed.

Also, the attack is not just on the LMBP, but the world, and that includes Nightcrawler, anyone that hurts him must SUFFER!

So I conclude that Tamper Lad and his associates should be arrested!

Hmmm, the current constitutional crisis has made for strange bed-fellows. I wonder what will happen in the days to come.