Legion World Forums LEGION OUTPOST Mission Monitor Board Every 10 Years Forum Welcome to the Legion World Witch...uh.... Traitor Trials.

Hah! Like you have a choice.

*whack*

Unless of course you would prefer that we whack you while not wearing anything at all. Hmmmmm????

But of course for that little privelege you will have to wait your turn outside my boudouir door along with all the other men.

Ummm.... Juan, honey. You've kinda thrown me a bit. So are you saying you've been thinking about getting your revenge on the LMBP by attacking them with amoebae?

Hmmm.....

Right, I shall sum up my conclusions so car just because they might be useful later on.

1) I am God as well as The Judge and appointed by God, so I am infallible. Therefore I am right. Even if I can't spell properly.

2) Dedman is aSsistant jUdge and therefore also above suspicion.

3) Faraway Lad, the Porcupine Attack Squad, Princess Crujectra and Beagle Boy are the jury and therefore also above suspicion.

4) Cobie is probably untrustworthy. He also may not actually be Cobie. He might be someone else entirely.

5) Bizarro Cobalt might actually be Cobie but not realsising he is Cobie because the Cobie that isn't Cobie has brainwashed him into thinking he is a Bizarro. That explains why Bizarro Cobie survived (well, OK, technically it doesn't but go with my reasoning here, it'll make life *much* easier in the long run).

6) Lardlad has been missing again. See, I don't need to say any more do I? Do you not see how his Lard powers could easily be disguised as control of bees? Yes, exactly. So keep an eye out for Lardy because it could be him.

7) Yellow Kid and Kippers and by default also possibly villains in disguise. If they're not then they've both just lost it a bit or had it stolen.

8) Viviane probably isn't actually a villain, she is being mind controlled. *Or* (and this is just a little hunch of mine) she *is* the villain and is mind controlling herself so that we'll think she isn't and go after someone else. Genius! That's what I'd do anyway.

8) Everyone else is also a suspect. They all look guilty as hell and those that have turned evil before (apart from yours truly obviously) could have gone again, and those that haven't been evil yet are probably just waiting for the right moment.

12) Everyone should be wary of Juan and amoebae. He could attack at any time and I'm still trying to work out what he could actually do but it'll either be awful and devastating, in which case he's going to have to wait in line, or we're not going to notice in which case he may need some councelling to rebuild his shattered self esteem.

13) There is a microfilm that contains information that may or may not be vital to the conclusion of this Crisis. It might have some kind of prophecy on it. Or it might have the recipe for really, *really* good gingerbread muffins. Or it might not exist at all.

57) I have lost count.

12359680125870) *whack*

And thus we draw to a conclusion of the current conclusions. Please join me tomorrow when I shall be back for another session of 'Pets Win Prozes'! Yaaaayyyyyy!!!!

So be honest with me, Oh Wizened One -
Is the only reason I'm on the Jury because I've already got the big Texan hair - no wig needed???

I will fight you and this kangroo court!

You have not heard the last from me!

Oh boy!!
This should be a good one!!!!

Crujectra, pass the popcorn.

<db walks into the courtroom wearing a large black and white hat to go with his black and white outfit. his face is veiled.>

"i'd like to take the stand"

<the theme from dynasty plays in the background and the credits begin to roll>

And just WHERE are YOU going to be taking this stand too? Certainly not a Den of INIQuity like the HOOTCHie hut?!?! You may however take the stand to Shakes or Cramers........now where were we...hmm, oh yeah confessions.
>WHACK<
>WHACK<
>WHACK<
i have no time for your confessions
>WHACK<
actually i have little time for questions
>WHACK<
>WHACK<
Phew i'm tired. Lets say you're free to go.


FOR NOW MWHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

Bloody bollocks, i missed a chance to spank.....i mean interogate Princess Crujecta

judge Ded, Crujectra is on the jury so not eligible for being interogated or spanked. Unless, of course, she should so wish it. But it's not going to happen in my courtroom ya hear? This is a place of dignity and law. Well sort of.

Beagz, obviously the Texan hair helps but really need you to either get a sexy cowboy hat or some kick arse cowboy boots, then you'll look utterly perfect. Possibly the porcupines should have some hats too, but that might make them look a little silly.

Now, someone call JR to the stand. I have a feeling that 80s American soap characters might be key to solving the mystery...

I found the micro film!

But all thats on it is an old episode of bewitched. the one where darren gets the shits cause of magic.

Really? Hmmm..... This could be significant. Maybe the traitor is Endora in disguise. I mean, it could be a clue or something.

Good job Polar Boy. For that you can now be above suspicion as well and be assisstant assistant judge (no capitals yet. You have to earn those things). Please go and chose a country and western wig and join Deddy and I here at the bench.

Do you find all this judging stressful? Ulcer inducing even? Perhaps i can help. Or perhaps not. Don't whack me though, or my cousin Tenzil will eat your stick!!!!

I refuse to trust anyone who Bevis hasn't whacked yet!

He can whack me, but only if he does you first.

Boots I can do.

I just don't do hats or caps very well. But for this Judge, I'll give it a shot.

And the last I saw JR, he was in the Hootchie Hut Bar, takin' shots with his sister-in-law.

this is a kangaroo court if i ever saw one.

<kangaroo hops by>

where exactly IS this hootchie hut bar?

You've never been to the Hootchie Hut? It's the cultural epicentre of Legion World. Or, depening on your predilictions, that might be the Red Light Lounge. One or the other though, they're the cultural centre.

Just follow Cobie.
And Lash.
And Pov.
And Lardy.
And Loser Lad.
And EDE.
And Kent.
And Outdoor Miner.
And Ferro.
And ...
awwwwwww, heck.
Just follow me.

Just be ready for anything. They're sneaky over there. They may act like they know me, but they really don't. The people over there are just THAT friendly.
(Yeah, that's it. That would explain EVERYTHING!!!!!)

Im back with a cowboy hat and Willy Nelson injun braids. I tried to find some country and western style tassles but all I could come up was some nipple tassles but I think they look quiet fetching with the robes and look at them spin.

Whacks wildy in the air at nothing

Whack
Whack
Whack


just getting in the mood your honor.

We should have the editor of the Legion of Super Heroes on the jury!!!

After all, Steve Wacker would fit in perfectly!!

No, he'd vote to reimagine everyone to 30 years ago.

Nowt wrong with that. Admittedly that would mean I wouldn't exist, but what the hey.

By the way, I'm sulking at the moment so there will be no whacking from me for a while. Of course, that doesn't mean that everyone else can't go whacking but I shall be sat here in the back of the courtroom heckling.

Yeah, but he'd only vote once.