Legion World Forums LEGION CLUBHOUSE The Legion of Super-Heroes Long Live the Legion! Homosexual comic characters promote kissing!

Is it any coincidence that those Legionnaires seen using the Big Computer to have their little kissing contest are the following:

Element Lad
Light Lass
Shrinking Violet
Invisible Kid
Chameleon Boy (Mr. Ambiguous gender himself)
Duo Damsel (I know you've all had the thought...)

I think not!

Poppin' portents!

Are you implying that gay characters were forced to act straight in public by the Adventure Legion's "Don't Ask, Don't Tell, though we All Know Policy"?

I'm implying that gay characters are naturally more experimental with physical contact, unlike straight characters who just dance and play Spaceopoly or moon after girls they only knew briefly and whom they haven't heard from for months!

Interesting, I cant speak from a deep understanding but for the (rather few, I admit) homosexuals I've known over the years it seems to go from one extreme to the opposite as soon as they understood something.

Sort of a repression, then to a sudden explosion when they have some sort of epiphany. Heteros seem to evolve on a more gradualist learning curve as it were.

So yeah I see what you're saying.

Was Northstar the first super-hero to come out of the closet?

where is that computer these days?

This supports my theory that the Legion was originally written by time travellers who, of course, knew how the future series would turn out.

Ironically enough, that machine existed on Steeple in the post-boot...

Jillikers! Maybe Fortress Lad turned all those Legionnaires gay, with rays!

My theory: In retaliation for his recent defeat, COMPUTO left a "gay-izing" program in the kiss-O-meter, dooming the next few users to a life of ambiguous sexuality!

Either that, or gay rays.

re: the kiss-O-meter scene (LSH ARCHIVES # 5 or ADVENTURE # 342, for those not in the know):

You'll note how Lyle Norg is positively drooling at the mouth at the notion of getting hunky buzzcutted Star Boy involved in the tongue-entwining shenanigans!

Of course, the uber-hetero Thom makes up some lame excuse, stumbling over his words like a nervous Catholic Schoolgirl on a date with a senior: "No--- err, I'll see if the applicants for membership are here yet!"

Then the angst starts a-flying when Lyle sobs, "...Star Boy never seems to have time for romance... with me! *choke!*"
Thank goodness good ol' dependable Luornu was there to console him!

Computo was my other theory!

'Cause Lord knows it would take gay rays or an evil, brainwashing computer program to make a sentient find a sentient of the same sex attractive!

But how do we explain Condo?

Many have tried to explain Condo. No explanation has been satisfactory so far.

IT's an apartment you own with a lawn you don't.

Condo? Obviously, he was straight, as all normal people are. But when gay-ized Lyle Norg took him under his wing, he began secretly exposing him to the long-unused kiss-O-meter and its corrupting influence.

Only one of Duo Damsel's selves was influenced, which explains why she married Chuck in a desperate attempt to kick her evil lesbian programming.

As for Mekt and Holt, well, they were already brain-damaged from being born singletons.

How do we even begin to explain the gayest character of all literature: the Green Arrow descendent who drove the tour bus in front of Legion HQ?

What makes you think Oli Q-3 (I forget the exact spelling of his name) is gay?

next you'll be telling me that Sinde is a lesbian.

Ah! You obviously didn't read issue #3 of "Cobalt Kid's misinformed and Outrageously Inaccurate Gay Legion stories!".

Lesbian programming, eh? So what was the thing with Nam'Lor, then? Her just-been-rejected-by-Superboy-and-Mon-el phase?

I must have missed the first two issues - how did they go again, Cobie?

Duh! She was under the influence of Nam'Lor's aura!