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 Re: Ask Tarik!
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 33,081
Time Trapper
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Time Trapper
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 33,081 |
SUCTION DEVICE, a poem by this unit
Why did the carbon-based
unit who built me
Place this suction device
upon my faceplate?
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Re: Ask Tarik!
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 33,081
Time Trapper
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Time Trapper
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 33,081 |
THE CARBON-BASED UNIT KNOWN AS MATT DAMON MUST DIE, a poem by this unit
A face that tortures robotic dreams
This carbon-based unit must be considered
Quite lovely by other carbon-based units
And because of this he will be destroyed
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Re: Ask Tarik!
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 9,898
Wanderer
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Wanderer
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 9,898 |
Maybe this will bring you back to your senses: ![[Linked Image]](http://my-autographs.de/damon.jpg)
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Re: Ask Tarik!
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 33,081
Time Trapper
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Time Trapper
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 33,081 |
THIS is the carbon-based unit that I do not resemble? THIS is carbon-based unit the one who built me wanted me to resemble? Because of THIS I was abandoned? DOES NOT COMPUTE...!!!!
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Re: Ask Tarik!
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 33,081
Time Trapper
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Time Trapper
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 33,081 |
obviously, my mission is now clear: The one who built and then abandoned me-- the carbon-based unit known as MLLASH-- must die!!!!
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Re: Ask Tarik!
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 54
Honorary
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OP
Honorary
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 54 |
Originally posted by Android-MLLASH:
obviously, my mission is now clear: The one who built and then abandoned me-- the carbon-based unit known as MLLASH-- must die!!!! My master would like the humans which post on this message board to know that he is impressed with the thirst for vengeance expressed by the human which posts on this message board as Android-MLLASH. Perhaps you would be interested in attending my master's school?
The opinions expressed by Tarik the Mute do not necessarily reflect those of Tarik the Mute's Android.
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Re: Ask Tarik!
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 54
Honorary
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OP
Honorary
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 54 |
Originally posted by Triad Neutral:
Either this "Tarik the Mute's Android" is an impostor or it needs to be liberated! My master would like the humans which post on this message board to know that his android companion is indeed the "genuine article," and my master encourages the humans which post on this message board to accept no substitutes. My master would also like the humans which post on this message board to know that any further attempts to "smear" the character of my master's android companion will result in a visit from my master's space-lawyer.
The opinions expressed by Tarik the Mute do not necessarily reflect those of Tarik the Mute's Android.
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Re: Ask Tarik!
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 54
Honorary
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OP
Honorary
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 54 |
Originally posted by lil'rhino:
Dear TMA,
How does one politely get rid of a "date" the next morning w/o having to make them breakfast or promising to call them soon?
Signed,
Indiscriminate in Iowa My master would like the humans which post on this message board to know that all questions submitted to this advice column should be addressed directly to my master and not my master's android companion. Should there be sufficient interest, my master's android companion may launch his own advice column at a future date. Since the above query is directed at my master's android companion instead of my master, my master's android companion will provide the following solution to the dilemma presented by the human which posts on this message board as lil'rhino: bad breath.
The opinions expressed by Tarik the Mute do not necessarily reflect those of Tarik the Mute's Android.
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Re: Ask Tarik!
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 16,863
Time Trapper
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Time Trapper
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 16,863 |
Why is it always "My master would like the HUMANS to know..."? What has Tarik the M. got against non-humans? Why are they out of the loop?
I'm starting to have second thoughts on this Academy business.
Holy Cats of Egypt!
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Re: Ask Tarik!
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 323
Active
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Active
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 323 |
DC, take it from me, Tarik has always been about himself, not the humans and most especially not the non humans!
See how he enslaved that poor android?
EE
Rank hath it's privileges
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Re: Ask Tarik!
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 54
Honorary
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OP
Honorary
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 54 |
My master would like the humans which post on this message board to know that the primitive technology employed by this message board does not allow my master to upgrade the communication software employed by my master's android companion to include non-humans in my master's greetings. My master would like the humans which post on this message board to know that all sentient beings are welcome at my master's academy.
My master would like the humans which post on this message board to know that he is troubled by the negative comments directed toward my master by the human which posts on this message board as Emerald Empress. My master asks, were the human which posts on this message board as Emerald Empress and my master not allies?
The opinions expressed by Tarik the Mute do not necessarily reflect those of Tarik the Mute's Android.
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Re: Ask Tarik!
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 1,619
Deputy
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Deputy
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 1,619 |
Originally posted by Tarik the Mute's Android:
My master would like the humans which post on this message board to know that the primitive technology employed by this message board does not allow my master to upgrade the communication software employed by my master's android companion to include non-humans in my master's greetings. My master would like the humans which post on this message board to know that all sentient beings are welcome at my master's academy.
My master would like the humans which post on this message board to know that he is troubled by the negative comments directed toward my master by the human which posts on this message board as Emerald Empress. My master asks, were the human which posts on this message board as Emerald Empress and my master not allies? Inform your master that I am also interested in the answer to that - and many other - questions about him and his associates. Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(Just as soon as the Check Clears!)
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Re: Ask Tarik!
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 3,471
Legionnaire!
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Legionnaire!
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 3,471 |
Can I join this so called Academy????
Let the Fun Begin!
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Re: Ask Tarik!
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 54
Honorary
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OP
Honorary
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 54 |
Originally posted by Icefyre:
Can I join this so called Academy???? A representative from my master's school will be in contact with you shortly.
The opinions expressed by Tarik the Mute do not necessarily reflect those of Tarik the Mute's Android.
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Re: Ask Tarik!
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 323
Active
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Active
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 323 |
Originally posted by Tarik the Mute's Android:
My master asks, were the human which posts on this message board as Emerald Empress and my master not allies? At one time perhaps, but WE have turned over a new leaf. Upon OUR arrival on Legion World, WE decided to give up OUR evil ways and become a productive member of OUR Society & the Nobility (of which WE are members due to OUR Royal Blood) WE strongly support the current administration of OUR Royal Sister Crujectra and Her Deputy Eryk Davis Ester. Anyone that interferes with the orderly conduct of events during Their Royal Administration will feel Our wrath...the Wrath of The Emerald Empress and The Emerald Eye Of Ekron!!!! EE *Volunteer for Minister of Defense & Security*
Rank hath it's privileges
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Re: Ask Tarik!
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 765
Active
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Active
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 765 |
Mr. Tarik the Mute, sir, I have a question. Sometimes I feel like people just don't understand me. I try and try to get noticed, but nothing seems to work. I even changed my name to something hipper and cooler, but so far people just ignore me. What I really need now is for someone to say something to me that will make me feel important and special. Please tell me, Mr. Tarik the Mute, sir, am I important or am I just a nobody?
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Re: Ask Tarik!
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 13
Applicant
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Applicant
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 13 |
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Re: Ask Tarik!
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 765
Active
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Active
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 765 |
Originally posted by Tarik the Mute: ![[Linked Image]](http://mywebpage.netscape.com/tarikthemute/blue.jpg)
*choke* I've never felt so important before. I feel like I actually belong. Thank you, Professor Mute. I hereby renounce good and have dedicated my life to the cause of evil. You are indeed an inspiration.
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Re: Ask Tarik!
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 54
Honorary
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OP
Honorary
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 54 |
My master would like the human which posts on this message board as Ultra Lad Kid to also know that in order to defeat the primitive technology of this message board, it may be necessary to change the word "grey" to "blue," and vice versa, when quoting my master.
The opinions expressed by Tarik the Mute do not necessarily reflect those of Tarik the Mute's Android.
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Re: Ask Tarik!
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 765
Active
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Active
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 765 |
Wow, I've learned so much already. Evil Rulez!!
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Re: Ask Tarik!
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 16,670
Time Trapper
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Time Trapper
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 16,670 |
Originally posted by Android-MLLASH:
obviously, my mission is now clear: The one who built and then abandoned me-- the carbon-based unit known as MLLASH-- must die!!!! Perhaps you should, you know, psychically torture him or something like that first. You know, make it last. You've got an angstometer, you know what it's like. You could start by going after that Damon fellow.
Legion World's Badwill Ambassador
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Re: Ask Tarik!
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 33,081
Time Trapper
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Time Trapper
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 33,081 |
*choke!* NoooooOOOOOooooooo!!!!
Do with me as you will but hands off the lovely Mr. Damon!!!
And that robot writes crappy poetry!
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Re: Ask Tarik!
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 16,670
Time Trapper
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Time Trapper
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 16,670 |
Lash, I'm trying to help you here. Work with me.
Legion World's Badwill Ambassador
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Re: Ask Tarik!
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 4,322
Legionnaire!
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Legionnaire!
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![[Linked Image]](http://mywebpage.netscape.com/tarikthemute/grey.jpg)
![[Linked Image]](http://www.wpcmath.com/films/goodwill/damon.jpg)
