Legion World Forums LEGION OUTPOST Mission Monitor Board Every 10 Years Forum The Beast to Beauty Unisex Salon

**Purr**

And that would be ME!

My Fellow LMBPer's,

First off I would like to thank all of you for coming today, I know that many of you have extremely busy schedules and I'm personally delighted to see that such a large number of you managed to fit this gala celebration into your busy schedules, Thank You!

As the only altID to hold elected office here on Legion World, (or if you prefer within the LMBP Community) I feel I am uniquely Qualified to address the issue of relations between the altID Community, the Feline Community, and the Real Poster's Community.

In my opinion, the single overriding issue here is the availability of Cat Food at Café Cramer!

Now please understand that I would never, EVER, say a disparaging word about my favorite sister, or her fine establishment, and I know that she has ordered a more than adequate supply of cat food for her feline clientèle.

So MY Question is, Which of the real posters has been eating the cat food? Is that person doing it knowingly? OR, is it a simple mistake? Personally I think it has to be a simple mistake.

I mean it is very easy to confuse premium choice goose liver cat food with Pate, and snarf it down on crackers.

(Pauses speech to lap up water from bowl on podium)

**Purr**

**Purr**

(Licks whiskers clean, resumes speaking)

Another area I would like to address is the issue of altID on altID violence. Technically Speaking this is not an issue which comes under the broad umbrella of relations between the altID Community, the Feline Community, and the Real Poster's Community.

It is however, an issue which is exacerbated (how many of you are surprised I know that word?) by the lack of respect for altID rights displayed by a very small portion of the Real Poster's Community!

Now I am fully cognizant of the fact that without the aid and support of Real Posters, altID's would be extinct... My kind would have long since vanished from LW if it were not for the aid and support of the vast majority of the real posters on LW.

That does not however exonerate the few who think that they can manipulate us for their private amusement, and force us to take part in mock battles and Barbaric Pussy Hunts!

(Pauses for dramatic effect)

Unless of course it's done in a humorous way... Then it's fine with me!

Thank you, I'll open the floor for questions now...

Nice speech Stoopid Cat, but I really was hoping the "very special guest" would be Grendel...

**Purr**

There will be other speakers today Lou, I'm just the first!

Grendel, Who Knows?

But there will be a surprise speaker, Later.

***PURR***

What a lovely Center! Legion World can always use more culture

I have no Alt-ID's, but I consider myself to be "Alt-friendly". After all, I am escorting an Alt to the Homecoming Dance!

Ah, the real princess, Lady Crujectra has joined us, everyone.

And she has brought the snapparazzi in droves. Thank you, Lady, the Center will benefit from the media coverage.

Please take a champagne flute and enjoy the center.
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Thank you very much, Stoopid Cat, for your words. I love seeing the feline community join our celebration.
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And, Lou, it would please us all if Grendel chose to speak at the Center's opening. I fear, for EDE's sake, however, that it was Grendel's power of Super-Lurking that gained him membership in the LMBP.

Alt-Friendly is certainly one way of putting it, Loser dear

Hmmm... Lady Crujectra... I kinda like the sound of that...

Does that make you Alt-rosexual, Lou?

I think it just makes him chronically horny, dear.

Not that I'M complaining, mind you

Ah, did I forget to a certain long-standing on again-off again Alt-ID romance?

I think that about sums it up!

As a long-time friend to the Alt ID Community, I'm very pleased to see this establishment open. I'm very proud that the money of the Triumvirs has been used to fund such a great undertaking.

Many Alt IDs are my best friends--for instance, Space Ranger is a close friend and partner at the Security Office and I actually married an Alt ID, Space Tart, and made her my wife!

I look forward to more speakers!

Great job, Stoopid Cat, you've raised some very important issues, specifically alt Id on alt ID violence!

Menacing aside...

I'd like to practice a little Alt-ID on Alt-ID violence on that heifer, Space Tart! Oh, the torture of being a shameless hussy attracted to a married man *dramatic sigh*

<Silent Cat laughter>

Human Mating Rituals are SOOOOOO Much fun to watch!

<Silent Cat Laughter>

They're even more fun to take part in, as I'm sure your owner can attest.

I'd like to think Danny Blaine of the Beacon and Fat Cramer of Cafe Cramer for the exquisite foods and professional service, as well as Semi Radiant Fellow of SHAKES for the libations and joie de vivre!

Congratulations to Alt-ID's everywhere! This is quite a nice place you have here, and such a festive opening gala.

Thank you, Matt! I encourage more Alts to take the podium.

An excellent gathering!

A toast in hopes that the unification between actual posters and Alt-IDs may develop further!

Legion Worlders,

It's a great honor to be speaking at the opening of the this important and beautiful addition to Legion World. As most of you know, I have long harbored close ties to the Alt-ID community, having spent my formative years on Psyche being raised by Alt-IDs whom I believed to be my family. And in fact they were, and not just figuratively, for years later I would discover that my long lost twin brother, Lardlad, was in fact the ancestral forebearer of Psyche.

Since the founding of Legion World I have tried my best to act as mediator between the alt and real poster communities, and many things that have happened in recent months have greatly concerned me. Tensions between the two populations on Legion World have been significant in recent months, and I can only hope the founding of this center is a step in the right direction towards calming them.

I must think my fellow Triumvir, Cobalt Kid, who more than anyone helped in brokering the peace that led to the foundation of this center. To Miss Terious, I give my undying admiration and affection, as well as best wishes in the running of this center. To Space Ranger, spiritual leader of alt-IDs, I offer thanks for his hard work on their behalf. I know him to be a man of peace, though one that will fight when challenged. I have heard that there is a third person who be working with Miss T and SR as part of the new leadership of the alt-ID community, and I'm curious to see who it is.

Let us give thanks, Legion World, for all the blessing that have been bestowed upon us, and in particular for peace and prosperity in a turbulent world.

Thank you.

Here, here!

Those of you that know me know that I give speeches a lot. So I promise that this will be quick!

For too long as there been an uneasiness in the relationship between alt ID and non-alts. This does not have to be! I've worked hard, and seen others work equally as hard, to broker peace with the alt ID community, and I hope this new trend leads to a bold new era of peace and justice for one united community of the two groups.

I can assure you that this place will always be funded, and always be open to any alt IDs looking for a home.

Thanks are in order to Eryk Davis Ester, who helped establish and fund this venture, Miss Terious for agreeing to run this center, and Space Ranger, who has always been the heart and soul of the alt ID community. Also, Outdoor Miner's enthusiasm for setting this place up, and Stoopid Cat's excellent speech in kicking off the festivities are greatly appreciated.

Alt ID's, we salute you!

Sorry I'm late.

I must say, the place looks wonderful. You've all outdone yourselves. And that's saying something.

And now, I think I'll just stake out a spot at the buffet. Carry on, folks.

So, for the grand entrance...

<a sudden chill comes over the room, dispelled just as quickly by the heat of flames rising in the center of the reception area; the smell of brimstone fills the air>

<suddenly a large Victorian bed appears in the center of the room; standing on the center of the bed, a form, very feminine, and dressed in black leather and a flowing cape and two whiplike belts dancing behind her.>

<the flames subside; the female steps off the bed and approaches the podium>

So... what brings me to Legion World, you might ask? Well, to bring legitimacy to this new joint they needed someone who could serve as a connection to the ancestral heritage of the alt-IDs. As a card carrying member of the House of Lard, I got the call.

I look forward to working with Miss Terious and Space Ranger.

Oh, and keep a close watch on your privates, fellas.

<leans back on bed, then rolls over to the side, resting her head on her arm; the bed begins to levitate, then spins increasingly rapidly, before disappearing>

..and that's the exit.