Legion World Forums LEGION OUTPOST Mission Monitor Board Every 10 Years Forum Cobalt's Office of Security - Original Silver Age Thread!

Cool, I'm good at that.

Be careful Security Officers! The media is camped out here to see if any of us stumble back here after the Inaugural ball! It's easy to forget that we're celebs here on Legion World and that our adoring fans also love hearing and gossiping about our party lives!

Security update:

A fat old bearded man dressed in red habitually commits breaking and entering crimes this time of the year, although he does not steal anything inside the houses. Rumor is that he actually leaves behind presents, but these have not been proven. Security officers, be on careful alert, we don't know enough about this Christmas thief/philanthropist to trust him yet. Any information would be helpful!

I'm thinking dog sleds might be needed.

I will attempt to bait the suspect by leaving out a glass of kono juice and a plate of space-wafers. Surely no fat man could resist such a treat. It's stakeout time, Security Team!

But what if he notices the stakeout and doesn't show up? The consequences could be disasterous!

Here's my suggestion: leave a specially-treated glass of milk, some cookies, and a note out for the guy. Hide behind sofa.

He'll come down the chimney and make a beeline for the food. Once he's downed the milk and cookies, he'll read the note, which says: "THE FOOD YOU HAVE JUST INGESTED CONTAINS A DEADLY POISON THAT WILL BEGIN TO WORK IN MINUTES. FOR THE ANTIDOTE, TURN YOURSELF IN AND SURRENDER ALL THE CONTENTS OF YOUR BAG."

That way, we'll get both the culprit and all those XBoxes, GameCubes, PS2s, DVDs, and tons and tons of comics that he's rumored to have in his possession!

Either that or he'll decide to go down fighting off the Fatal Five on his own.

The cookies are being set up as we speak, but we have to be careful, I hear he's a magic-user! And his head rein-deer is rumored to shoot beams of fire from his nose!

Cobalt Kid,

When he laughes, his belly takes on the hypnotic effect of quivering jelly.

However, he is not guilty of burglary, which is the act of breaking and entering with the intent to commit a felony. Also for breaking and entering, you need some force needed to "break" (such as pushing open a door slightly ajar) As this suspect is entering through a chimney which is open to the outside, he is not breaking. (Unless of course the chimney goes to an enclosed furnace rather than an open fireplace) Although the leaving of cookies and milk could imply permission to enter.

He is guilty of trespass, the entering of another's property without right or permission. In any event, Trespass is more of a civil tort rather than a crime. See above about implied consent to enter.

Cobie Cakes, I heard a strange noise last night while I was sleeping. Would you mind dropping by my suite later to give my bedroom a check?

Princess, I better make it a point to stop by and check your bedroom as often as possible

Oh, was that your bedroom? Sorry, I thought it was mine! No wonder I couldn't get in! No need to drop by now, Cobie

And no need for sleeping, either! As Head of Security, you must remain ever vigilant -- 24 hours a day!

Not to worry, Stu dear. I think I can keep Cobie Cakes at attention

Cobie, We may have a small Problem here. I think Stoopid Cat is loose on the boards.

Truth and justice shall Prevail!
(How can one Stoopid Cat cause so many Problems?)

Oh boy, hopefully Stoopid Cat can be contained to areas of Legion World where he can't cause too many problems...

(if that's possible)

And Sharky, where have you been? We've been missing you lately!!!

Hey! I can't get my door unlocked! The lock is full of cat hair!

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alright, good to see you Sharky! Be sure to stop by SHAKES for drinks! Onc time when you disapeared, you came back evil! We can never be too safe !

Invisible Brainiac, you've been drafted into the Security Office as one of it's newest officers! If you need to, you can bring in any cat for questioning if your office is continually being vandalized ! (Well, except FC when she's not Dark Cramer or Satan Claws Cramer!)

I should hope that Jinx would be above suspicion, as well. As for Stoopid Cat, I doubt he would cause any problems intentionally, unless IB is really a very large, talking (or writing) rodent.

Perhaps Security should just round up all known practical jokers?

That may be the better way to go FC. The Security Office is trying to fight against the institutional racism against felines that exists.

Except rounding up all the practical jokers may take quite a few days...

I can see that you haven't lost your impeccable devotion to duty, even after the end of your reign.