Legion World Forums LEGION OUTPOST Mission Monitor Board Every 10 Years Forum LMB Infinite Crisis: The Legion World Temporary Command Center

Who? Me?

I meant Bevis/Lucien, but now that you mention it .

Just kidding!

Actually, I'm a telepath, not a mage. My brother's boyfriend is a sorcerer, though

Besides, I'm not completely sure that Bevis is evil. I think that no one person was ever meant to be that fabulous. I think the strain of being Lucien Lad just sort of overloads his mind sometimes, and makes him act a bit... wonky

Bah, I have a plan. We need to capture him and deprive him of musicals while forcing him to watch 36 hours straight of NFL preview shows.

To this end I have devised a new weapon. The Defaboolizer takes network sports coverage from ESPN and concentrates it, projecting it as a beam. Let me demonstrate, shoots Rockhopper...


<RHL's mind is flooded with visions of ESPN sportscaster Chris Berman saying... "...AND... HEEE....COULD....... GO...... ALL... THE..... WAY!!!!!">

So... does this mean that the more unfabulous we make him, the saner he'll be?

We can only try... however there is not enough football to charge the device to what it needs to defaboolize Lucien Lad. Someone needs to travel in time to collect the defaboolizing energy from all the SuperBowls ever played where the games sucked.

Whatever happened to Cali and Frio? Has anyone heard from them? Are their Real Life college studies keeping them too busy for LW at the moment?

Their death and the current instability of the tesseract system making it impossible for a proper search (a shame since TL is responsible for their disappearance) belies a period of being incommunicado for their alter-egos. I believe it's a vacation between academic terms.)
**** End of Tamper Lad's Knowledge of a higher plane of existence ****


Yes, now will Legion World stop rubbing it in, YES i'm responsible for their deaths. Are you happy? Apparently I'm not infallible like they tell us at the Evil Genius Institute.

Okay. Hope they're having fun on their vacation out in that strange world known as California. Thanks for clearing that up, TL.

*Oh, my head!*

<Reels from the zap from the Defaboolizer>

Oh, the horror! The horror!

AAAAAAAAAUGH!

Tamper Lad, don't ever do that to me again! If not for my avian cerebral structure (yes, my birdbrain), I think that may have had permanent damaging effect. As it is, I'm going to have nightmares about cheerleaders and buff men wearing shoulder pads so big you can't see their bodies for weeks!

BWAHAHAHA...

I knew it would do that...

Mmmmmm cheerleaders...... Dah... cheerleaders are my kryptonite, don't let anyone know. Put one of those within 50ft and the evil genius mind stops working.

Now the next time Lucien Lad shows up we must zap him with the this ray which I have just charged, as to test my weapon. This should weaken Lucien to the point where we can contain him. Then we'll time travel to the biggest superbowl blowouts in history to collect more defaboolizing energy to cure him.

I'll have to mention this to Cobie Cakes. I'm pretty sure his cheerleader costume is still in the back of his closet

Hmmmm. Male cheerleaders don't seem to do it for me princess. The cross dressing kind, well we'll have to see Cobie in uniform won't we.

Lucien Lad suddenly bursts into the room with seventy-three scantily clad female cheerleaders all cheering for Tamper Lad. In the ensuing confusion Lucien Lad makes his getaway before the Defaboolizer can be used on him.

<tamper falls to the ground, convulsing in a catatonic state.>

Can I get a "jus'great" here?

Glitch - scan, just to double check.... Thought so.

For the record, does Tamper realise that those aren't real cheerleaders, they're just hardlight projections? I don't think we have seventy-three cheerleaders for such a stunt.

Course, that raises the question of where Bev got the tech to pull the stunt in the first place. Then again, scantily-clad women... maybe Cobalt's just moved on from robots to holograms. Either way...

*Taps the "cheerleaders" one-by-one on the head, as they vanish to my touch as I absorb the hardlight energy sustaining them*

Ughh.... great, not back up to full speed yet after that energy stunt.

Tamper, you okay?

He'll be fine once the blood flows away from his other brain.

Bah, no one makes a mockery of me...

How are those bleeding 'nads, dude?

They've been better, but apparently they are well enough to significantly alter my brain perfusion.

Now the defaboolizer...


I have come to the conclusion that Lucien is too clever to be zapped by my ray. Thus I propose that we defaboolize all of Legion World, using my hockey equipment bomb. (Think how unfabulous hockey/football equipment that has not been dry for 10 years is)

Oh man, try Moopsball, no one could get hurt then...

I'm against.

My inclination would be to simply trap Bevis, and then def... okay, there MUST be a better word than that for it... zap him once he's already trapped. A bomb would be too risky, and risk turning LW into a bunch of Dibbleys.

Put a whoopee cushion in an open spot. He'll be irresistably drawn to it.

Or maybe dump him in a patch of Wacky Weed?

No! I'm in contact with Spellbinder! There is a horde of shadow demons about to approach Legion World!

I refuse to rename any of my weapons, the defaboolizer (TM), britishizer (TM) and any future case-specific weapons I might develop.

My marketing assistant suggested those and I believe they are excellent. We're really builing the Evil Genius Brand Platform with those. Now where's Bevis?