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Did you know that BEER contains FEMALE HORMONES?

Last month the University of Lesotho announced the discovery of Female Hormones in beer.
The theory is that beer contains female hormones as hops contain Phytoestrogens and that by drinking enough beer men turn into women. They tested the theory thus:
100 men drank 10 pints of beer each, within a one hour period nad it was observed that 100% of the test subjects;
1)Argued over nothing
2)Refused to apologise when obviously wrong
3)Gained weight
4)Talked excessivelt without making sense
5)Became overly emotional
6)Couldn't drive
7)Failed to think rationally
and finally
8)Had to sit down to urinate
They considered that no further testing was considered necessary and they decided to issue this general warning that men should reconsider their intake of Beer

just sharing something funny I found elsewhere on the Web. Don't shoot the messenger.

A guy in his car is stuck in a traffic jam. Suddenly, someone comes to his car and knocks on the window.

The driver asks, "What's happening?"

"Well, some terrorists took G.W. Bush as a hostage, and ask for a 1 million dollar ransom or they will put some gasoline on him and set him on fire."

"Oh God!"

"So, we go from car to car to collect what people can give."

"And how much do people give in the average?"

"About 5 gallons..."

What's bad about that one???

Two Lord of the Rings jokes:

Q: Why did Tolkein write more than one Lord of the Rings book?

A: Force of hobbit.


Q: If Gandalf were a teacher, what would he say to students who failed his class?

A: "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!"

Q: What happens when a tornado hits an Italian cheese shop?

A: There's da brie everywhere.

Wait a minute ...

Say it out loud.

There ya go!

What's the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom?

A pickpocket snatches watches...

Q - What's brown and sticky?

A - A stick.

-------
Q - What's blue and sticky?

A - A Smurf eating an ice cream cone.


[edited for family values]

What did Inspector Clouseau say when he got sick?

"Swine flu!"

What's Superman's favorite part of a joke?

<span class="spoiler_containter"><span class="spoiler_wording">Click Here For A Spoiler</span><span class="spoiler_text">The "punch" line...</span></span>

Shouldn't this be a French cheese shop?

I like brie...

A priest, a gorilla, and a cowboy walk into a bar. The bartender cries out "What is this? Some kind of bad joke?"

Why did Bruce Wayne's date go so badly?

<span class="spoiler_containter"><span class="spoiler_wording">Click Here For A Spoiler</span><span class="spoiler_text">Because he has bat breath...</span></span>

Christo has died. His coffin will be completely wrapped in white cloth.

Q: What sound does a stoner with a sore throat make?

A: "HEMP HEMP. HEMP HEMP."

In Andy Sidaris' 1979 film "SEVEN", "Drew Savano" (William Smith) assembles a team of assassins, including weapons specialist "The Professor", played by Richard LePore.

The Professor asks Savano the following:


"What would be the scientific result, of crossing a donkey with an onion?"

"I tell you what... why don't you just TELL me?"

"Alright. Now, most of the time, you wind up with an onion with long, floppy ears.

But every once in a while... you get a PIECE OF ASS that'll brings tears to your eyes."

ok that made me laugh

I was going to tell y'all a joke about time travel.

But you didn't like it.

Lol. Thanks Set. I'm laughing and I don't remember why. Maybe it'll come to me soon.

Did you hear about the undead stand-up comedian?

He was fired for working blue.

Why do people find Micro Lad rude?

because he's often short with everyone!

Terrible jokes, a triptych;

Q: What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo?
A: One's really heavy, and the other's a little lighter.


"I successfully sued to have the drug company pay for my Viagra."
"That must've been expensive."
"Nah, my lawyer was pro-boner."


Never challenge Death to a pillow fight unless you're prepared to face the reaper cushions.

Why can't Invisible Kid tell a lie?

Because people see right through him.

True. He is quite transparent.

I gave out a genuine groan at this one. Thanks Klar.

A visual version of Klar's joke.

A shetland pony gets on stage at karaoke night, but he doesn't sing, because he's a little hoarse.

loving the building up on jokes here, folks!

What did Bouncing Boy say to Duo Damsel, when she started dating him after her crush on Superboy?

"I don't want this to be a rebound thing!"

I hope that you don't suffer from a condition plaguing many kids who have to take tests nowadays. They only answer questions 1, 3, 5, and 7 on their exams.

Because they literally can’t even.

Why did the Legion vote Nightwind in?

She blew them away when she tried out!

Prince John once threatened to boil Tuck in oil.

Robin Hood protested:

"You can't boil him! He's a Friar!"

Ayla's autobiography was supposed to just be some light reading, but after that chapter on her anti-gravity powers, I can't put it down!

At the 20th century technology convention...

Gates: "Tenzil! Why did you charge me for all the grubs I ate?!"

Tenzil: "Because I was told to Bill Gates!"

The Legion used to have debates scheduled for candidates for Legion leader, but Tasmia kept winning every debate.

Hard to compete with someone whose literal power is throwing shade.

What kind of key opens a Kryptonian banana?



A Super-Monkey!

You've really got to hand it to Violet. Because she can't reach.

They finally arrested Command Kid. Nabbed him for possession.

What is the name of Dyrk Magz's cousin, who is crazy for fruit?

Mango

What kind of key opens a software locked dog kennel?

A Krypto-key! (Crypto-key?)

Inspired by the latest kill this thread thread:

What did the legionnaires sing to Sun Boy on his birthday?

Here Comes the Sun

keep these jokes coming, gang

What did Brainy get when he crossed a mirror beast with the every-ten-years monster?

Cancellation of his research grant and a meeting with the ethics committee.

What's the difference between Dawnstar with one wing and Dawnstar with two wings?

None, really. It's a matter of a-pinion.

Where did Tyr get his gun arm?

At the second-hand store.

Congratulations Set. Some of those were truly groan worthy.

How do you know when Gim has told a dad joke?

When it's full-groan.

Kal-El wasn't close to his dad when he passed.

Which is a good thing, since the planet his dad was on exploded!

Dillinger made it to heaven. He was a holey ghost.

When Sue Storm was pregnant, did she have a womb with a view?

This joke flew right over Shrinking Violet's head