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Bad jokes
by Klar Ken T5477 - 05/28/25 04:37 PM
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Trap Timer
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That's right! We've had some really crappy Legion stories over the years! This is *your* chance to come up with even crappier ones!
So, what's the worst Legion story idea you can come up with?
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Wanderer
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Wanderer
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Lori Morning and Cub Nah join the team!
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Deputy
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Yes! And just afterwards, the Fatal Five takes out the whole team, but the villains are ultimately defeated by Lori Morning, Cub Nah and a phalanx of Athramites!
...but you don't have a moment where you're sitting there staring at a table full of twenty-five characters with little name signs that say, "Hi, my superpower is confusing you!"
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Deputy
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Shadow Lass is possessed by Sun Creatures looking for a cool respite from the solar furnace! Sun Boy and Polar Boy save the day by creating the irresistable spring skiing vacation ... of space!
...but you don't have a moment where you're sitting there staring at a table full of twenty-five characters with little name signs that say, "Hi, my superpower is confusing you!"
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Deputy
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Proty turns out to be ALL the Legionnaires!
Except Garth.
Wayne@OZ
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Time Trapper
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Time Trapper
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rebooting everyone as a snake!!!
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Light Lass, Phantom Girl and Shadow Lass are horrified when they each wear the SAME ball gown to the Legion Benefit Gala ... of Space! (Dream Girl foresaw this, but kept mum in order to have a good laugh at the gals' expense.) Triplicate Girl saves the day -- each of her 3 bodies wore a different outfit! The girls swap with Lu, Lu merges the 3 identical ball gowns into one, and a good time is had by all, until Ultra Boy accidentally flash vision's the ice sculpture of the Super-Moby Dick of Space.
...but you don't have a moment where you're sitting there staring at a table full of twenty-five characters with little name signs that say, "Hi, my superpower is confusing you!"
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Wanderer
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Wanderer
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The Lesser Darkness Saga.
Darkseid is miffed at his earlier failures on Daxam. He targets Bismoll next, but didn't realize most Bismollians cant eat anything from off-world. Frustrated, Darkseid and his slave army take over the Chinese Buffet... of Space turning it into his new evil HQ.
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Leader
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December 24th, 3006. Atom Girl wants to get ready for Christmas, but Brainiac 5 is making her work overtime in the lab. That night, the ghost of Dream Girl appears in front of Brainy, and tells him that he will be visited by three other ghosts...
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Wanderer
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Wanderer
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Originally posted by Matthew E:
December 24th, 3006. Atom Girl wants to get ready for Christmas, but Brainiac 5 is making her work overtime in the lab. That night, the ghost of Dream Girl appears in front of Brainy, and tells him that he will be visited by three other ghosts... Structurally to be a good adaptation of Dickens' tale shouldn't Marley's ghost be portrayed by Vril Dox? The ghost of Christmas Past (who is childlike) should by Lori Morning. Nura has to be the woman Brainy once loved but destroyed in the past. Christmas Present (a rotund bon vivant) has to be Tenzil and Chuck. They would show what Christmas is like for the Imskians and also for Brainy's now stupid relatives on Colu who aside from the drool are pretty happy and wish Uncle Brainy were there. Christmas Future is the Time Trapper (who else?).
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Substitute
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Substitute
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All the legionaires are robots created by B5 to be companions to him.
In a back up story, The All-New All-Different Fatal Five debuts with Dr. Mayavale, Omen, The Robot that Hated the Legion, Charma, and Omega.
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Deputy
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Ferro Lad removes his mask to reveal... Sean Hannity!  
Wayne@OZ
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Time Trapper
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Time Trapper
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I think my brain froze at the Lori Morning/Cub Nah proposal. It's pretty hard to come up with something worse than that, unless you add Jamm to the mix.
Holy Cats of Egypt!
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Structurally to be a good adaptation of Dickens' tale shouldn't Marley's ghost be portrayed by Vril Dox? Are you trying to make this idea better or worse? I reject all your suggestions. The Ghost of Christmas Past is the Joker, the Ghost of Christmas Present is Validus and the Ghost of Christmas Future is a small tray of raspberry pudding. My other bad story idea: during her time in the 31st century, Supergirl is called for jury duty. Imagine the hijinx when Klar (from issue #16) is elected foreman of that jury!
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Bold Flavors
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Bold Flavors
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Brainy's mom is revealed as head of the Dark Circle!
D'oh!
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Originally posted by Fat Cramer:
I think my brain froze at the Lori Morning/Cub Nah proposal. It's pretty hard to come up with something worse than that, unless you add Jamm to the mix. When the Legion is defeated, time-travelling, possible future, grown-up versions of Lori Morning, Cub Nah, and Jamm arrive to assure that their timeline is preserved!
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Bold Flavors
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Bold Flavors
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And Cub Nah finally reveals his purpose: he's actually the original Time Trapper of TMK reborn into this continuity, in an attempt to restructure the critical 31th century!
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Time Trapper
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Time Trapper
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Supergirl turns out to be an evil Manhunter robot!
The childhood friend Exnihil never had.
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Wanderer
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Wanderer
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Supergirl, Shadow Lass, Saturn Girl, Braininac 5, Bouncing Boy and Ultra Boy are all kidnapped by the evil Host and sent to the survivor planetoid. Once there they are told to sing and dance for the benefit of a panel of Khund judges. There is an info net vote with races from the Empire to the Dominion phoning in. The loser faces eviction following an interview with an evil industrialist with a very bad wig who finished the ritual humiliation with the phrase “you’re fired” at which point the loser is fitted into super cannon of space and fired into the nearest sun.
Faithfull
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Deputy
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RJ Brande is everyone's father!
Wayne@OZ
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Leader
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I'm halfway expecting Barry Kitson to post in this thread saying that a couple of our ideas are actually already in the works.
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Leader
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The Legion get infected with the zoozoo virus and turn into the Legion of Super Pet Heroes! Get ready for Sparky the Lightning Dog, Bouncing Manatee, Matter-Eater Monkey, Phantom Pig and Ultra Boar!
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Leader
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Leader
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While investigating the death of a museum curator, the Legion discovers clues hidden in the works of Leonardo da Vinci that reveal a conspiracy by the Catholic Church to cover up the true story of Jesus!
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Leader
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Sorry for the consecutive posts, but this doesn't really belong as part of the last post:
I don't know if this is a bad idea or not. I suspect that it's actually a *good* idea. Anyway, here it is:
One of the Legionnaires is hanging out at home. Where his/her parents live, I mean. We get some sense of his/her life in the 31st century, and his/her history, and so on. I don't know which Legionnaire would be best for this. I'd prefer Ultra Boy, but his personality and background might make him not quite right. Sun Boy, perhaps; this could be a good thing to do with Sun Boy. Even Invisible Kid might work.
Anyway, after a few pages of this, a time machine appears in front of ... let's say Sun Boy. There are three superpowered teenagers in the time machine. They've come all the way back from the 51st century to invite Sun Boy to join their club...
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