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Time-Scope
I'm Thinking of a DCU character Part 6!
by Chaim Mattis Keller - 05/08/25 07:30 AM
The Non-Legion Comics Trivia Thread Pt 5
by Chaim Mattis Keller - 05/08/25 07:16 AM
Bits Of (Random) Legionnaire Business...
by Korbal - 05/07/25 03:18 PM
Legion Worlds Ten - the final chapter. Updated 7 May 25
by Invisible Brainiac - 05/07/25 02:17 PM
The All-JSA (2024) Thread!
by Ann Hebistand - 05/07/25 12:02 PM
Café Cramer - Always Open
by Invisible Brainiac - 05/07/25 02:19 AM
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Joined: Aug 2006
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Long live the Legion!
Long live the Legion!
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Posts: 9,087
Lardy has the power to travel through time by spinning a table in his presence. He can travel to any point in the past or future where a table occupies that same general area, allowing him to leave a boring modern restaurant and go visit the swinging speakeasy that sat on that spot in the Roaring 20s.

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Slap Happy


Wrapped Around Your Finger now complete in BITS!
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 22,670
Fabulous and Sparkly!
Fabulous and Sparkly!
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 22,670
Lardy has the power to make people happy by giving them a good swat. This power is especially effective on masochists.

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Mancrush (you knew it was coming)


The only character in all of literature who has been described as "badnass" while using the phrase "vile miscreant."
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,735
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Wanderer
Wanderer
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,735
When Lardy hugs a woman, he only has normal strenght. When he hugs a man, he gains super-strenght, resulting in a man crushing bearhug

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yellow pages

Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 25,675
Gen X > Space X
Gen X > Space X
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 25,675
Lard Lad has distilled the powers of our own yellow sun into specially-designed "pagers." He always has one on hand in case the nearest Son or Cousin of Krypton is headed for a red sun and needs portable super-powers to fight evil.

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Double Joints


Hey, Kids! My "Cranky and Kitschy" collage art is now viewable on ipernity! Drop by and tell me that I sent you. *updated often!*
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 9,087
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Set Offline
Long live the Legion!
Long live the Legion!
S Offline
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 9,087
While his detractors claim that this refers to Lardy's ability to be the life of the party, and make giggling references to something called 'Reefer Madness,' in truth, Double Joints refers to Lardy's ability to add joints to any object he touches, allowing him to fold it in half for convenient storage.

Next:
Impeccable Timing


Wrapped Around Your Finger now complete in BITS!
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 29,256
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Time Trapper
Time Trapper
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Posts: 29,256
Lardy knows when a simple peck on the cheek will be enough to drive a woman wild.

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Hypno-Manboobs


Still "Lardy" to my friends!
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 9,087
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Long live the Legion!
Long live the Legion!
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Posts: 9,087
It's not the manboobs. It's the tassles. Once he gets them spinning in opposite directions, people's eyes glaze over and his accomplices can tie their shoelaces together while they are entranced.

Next:
Double Vision


Wrapped Around Your Finger now complete in BITS!
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 25,675
Gen X > Space X
Gen X > Space X
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 25,675
Lard Lad is the only man in the English-speaking world who can do a Karaoke medley of Foreigner songs without inciting mass revolts. Yes, even "Double Vision" and shudder "Waiting For A Girl Like You" are spun into gold owing to Lardy's way with a vintage Top 40 song.

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Shonen Knives


Hey, Kids! My "Cranky and Kitschy" collage art is now viewable on ipernity! Drop by and tell me that I sent you. *updated often!*
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 2,735
Leader
Leader
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This is easily the power set that confuses evil- doers the most. Lardy splits into three women. while simultaneously speaking Japanese.

Next:
Buy one, Get one free


Long Live all them Legions!
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 22,670
Fabulous and Sparkly!
Fabulous and Sparkly!
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 22,670
Lardy has the power to duplicate an inanimate object he purchases. There are limits to this power. Sadly, it does not work on cars, houses, airplanes, rare comics or grilled cheese sandwiches.

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Word for Word


The only character in all of literature who has been described as "badnass" while using the phrase "vile miscreant."
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 184
Substitute
Substitute
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 184
Similar to Letterman Letterman video

Lardy can exchange any single word in a sentence for another. This comes in handy in a wide variety of ways, such as changing "Fries will cost extra" to "Fries WON'T cost extra."

Bungle in the Jungle


"I may be a craven little coward, but I'm a GREEDY craven little coward!"

=Daffy Duck
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,735
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Wanderer
Wanderer
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,735
Whenever Lard Lad makes a forey into the jungle, the music of Mr. Bungle mysteriously emanates from his ass.

NEXT -
Potent potable

Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 57,030
strange but not a stranger
strange but not a stranger
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 57,030
Lardy has the power to turn water into wine. Unfortunately the wine is always Boone's Farm Sangria.

Next Power:

Potpourri


Big Dog! Big Dog! Bow Wow Wow!
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Long live the Legion!
Long live the Legion!
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Lardy can reach into his pockets and produce any of a bewildering array of small items. He once was tipped over and a pile of items large enough to bury him poured forth, leading to onlookers using terms like 'Fibber McGee's closet' and 'plethora' and 'potpourri of junk.' Potpourri was the name that stuck.

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Cunning Linguist


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Lardy is a suave master of 27 languages, and as a master spy has charmed the pants off many a woman with his silver tongue.

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Soap Scum


Long Live all them Legions!
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 57,030
strange but not a stranger
strange but not a stranger
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 57,030
This is an involuntary power of Lardy's. If a dirty person (defined as someone who hasn't bathed or showered in the previous 24 hours) comes within 1 foot of Lard Lad, they are instantly covered with a soapy lather. The lather disappears in 45 seconds, leaving the person clean, but smelling like they have been soaked in beer.

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Red-eye


Big Dog! Big Dog! Bow Wow Wow!
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 25,675
Gen X > Space X
Gen X > Space X
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 25,675
Lardy's other powers are at their most effective between the hours of 9 PM and 7 AM. It is during these hours that villains are least inclined to tangle with him, as he can pretty much use all his other powers at once, nonstop, without tiring appreciably;And without requiring food, sleep or trips to the bathroom.

Next:
Noble Blood


Hey, Kids! My "Cranky and Kitschy" collage art is now viewable on ipernity! Drop by and tell me that I sent you. *updated often!*
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Wanderer
Wanderer
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,735
With a wink of his eye Lardy can transform the blood of his opponent into a Noble Gas

NEXT:

Total Static Head

Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 22,670
Fabulous and Sparkly!
Fabulous and Sparkly!
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 22,670
Quote
Originally posted by dedman:
With a wink of his eye Lardy can transform the blood of his opponent into a Noble Gas
Okay that's about the coolest power so far! laugh


Re: Total Static Head
Lardy can emanate waves from his head that cause all communications devices within two miles to get nothing but static.

Next:
Dance Break


The only character in all of literature who has been described as "badnass" while using the phrase "vile miscreant."
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 29,256
L
Time Trapper
Time Trapper
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 29,256
Dance with Lardy at your own risk--bones have been broken, man!!!!

Next:
Skid Marks the Spot!


Still "Lardy" to my friends!
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 57,030
strange but not a stranger
strange but not a stranger
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 57,030
This power is used for searching for buried treasure. It starts off with Lardy running in an increasingly widening circle. At just the right point, he starts to slide or skid along the ground. He will keep skidding until he comes to rest on the next hidden "treasure" in the direction he was skidding. Unfortunately, it usually just turns up discarded pennies.


Next:
A Touch of Mink


Big Dog! Big Dog! Bow Wow Wow!
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 22,670
Fabulous and Sparkly!
Fabulous and Sparkly!
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 22,670
With a touch, Lardy can turn any object into a mink coat. The object must be touched with his left elbow while he is standing on his head and singing the theme to The Patty Duke Show, but some of these powers do have rather odd limitations.

Next:
Wine Press


The only character in all of literature who has been described as "badnass" while using the phrase "vile miscreant."
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 25,675
Gen X > Space X
Gen X > Space X
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 25,675
Everyone knows that those swanky glossies like Wine Spectator just make stuff up based upon how much advertising dough they get from the vintners and restaurant owners. If we only had Lardy's superpower, we could tell by sight alone which wine was worth the $60 price tag and which wine was just Franzia in a cooler package. As a bonus, we'd always have the power to verbally one-up those irritating culture vultures in black who always show up at wine tastings to make everyone else feel low-class.

Next:
Poke Salad


Hey, Kids! My "Cranky and Kitschy" collage art is now viewable on ipernity! Drop by and tell me that I sent you. *updated often!*
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 2,735
Leader
Leader
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 2,735
Just by poking any leafy green vegetables, Lardy can instantly animate them into a flurry of flying leaves and stems, ably providing confusion to any foe. Obviously a salad would have a lot of these, and as such is a formidable weapon.

Next:
Crotch Rocket


Long Live all them Legions!
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 22,670
Fabulous and Sparkly!
Fabulous and Sparkly!
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 22,670
By humming any tune written by late-18th/early-19th-Century English composer William Crotch , Lardy can turn any object into a rocket.

Next:
Mood Music


The only character in all of literature who has been described as "badnass" while using the phrase "vile miscreant."
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