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1 Legionnaires (Korbal, Korbal, Korbal),
29
Murran Spies, and
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Spider Guild Agents. |
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 29,256
Time Trapper
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Time Trapper
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 29,256 |
Lardy can teleport people around, but only within a 1.5 meter distance His teleporting range is much greater than that! (I was sure someone would use a fart joke instead!  ) Next:
Cream of Mushroom Soup Sometimes Lardy's dookie looks and tastes just like Campbell's Cream of Mushroom Soup! Wanna try some?  Next: Word to the Muthah
Last edited by Paladin; 07/24/20 02:32 PM.
Still "Lardy" to my friends!
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 85,942
Unseen, not unheard
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Unseen, not unheard
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 85,942 |
I thought teleportation (albeit limited) would be cooler errrgh i'll skip over the cream soup one... Word to the Muthah Lardy has the telepathic ability to create an empathic link between mothers and their children... extremely empathic, like the kids will broadcast EVERYTHING. No age limit here either, be warned.. Next: I Am Woke
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Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 31,872
Tempus Fugitive
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Tempus Fugitive
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 31,872 |
I Am Woke
Detective Paladin entered the fourth day staking out the criminals hideout. He was never relieved from his task. Shift patterns meaning nothing to the "Man Who Never Slept!"
Lockdown
"...not having to believe in a thing to be interested in it and not having to explain a thing to appreciate the wonder of it."
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 85,942
Unseen, not unheard
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Unseen, not unheard
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 85,942 |
Lardy can open a tesseract and store your valuables in it. Nobody is ever going to find those...
Next:
Disney Princess
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Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 31,872
Tempus Fugitive
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Tempus Fugitive
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 31,872 |
Only Lardy has the power to convince recent Disney Princess, Leia, that she doesn't fancy her own brother.
Next:
Gnocchi and Enter
"...not having to believe in a thing to be interested in it and not having to explain a thing to appreciate the wonder of it."
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 85,942
Unseen, not unheard
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Unseen, not unheard
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 85,942 |
Lardy temporarily gains a power-boost to his strength, speed and durability after eating a plate of gnocchi outdoors, but the boost only works indoors. Cue Lardy gulping down plates of pasta, then busting through locked doors to fight crime!
next:
Fluffy Little Dogs
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Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 31,872
Tempus Fugitive
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Tempus Fugitive
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 31,872 |
They're manicured! They're coiffured! They're dressed in matching collars! Paladin trades in the Lard Force for Poodle Power! Trixie, Pixie and Mixie join Paladin on the tough city streets, eradicating crime with a bark and a nip. All in Lardy and the Poodles! Only from LW Comics!
And speaking of city streets...
Manhole Covers
"...not having to believe in a thing to be interested in it and not having to explain a thing to appreciate the wonder of it."
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 85,942
Unseen, not unheard
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Unseen, not unheard
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 85,942 |
Lardy can turn manhole covers into interdimensional gateways.
Next:
Crash Diet
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Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 31,872
Tempus Fugitive
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Tempus Fugitive
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 31,872 |
The people know better. They want to have balanced, controllable diets. But they stray, the burger is raised to the mouth and ?>CRASH!< Lardy blasts into them, preventing them from making poor dietary decisions! Aren't our stomachs happy to have a friend like Lardy?!
Next: Tunnel Vision
"...not having to believe in a thing to be interested in it and not having to explain a thing to appreciate the wonder of it."
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 85,942
Unseen, not unheard
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Unseen, not unheard
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 85,942 |
Where is our favorite android Avenger? Oh, well, Lardy knows. And if you ask nicely, he can tunnel directly to Vision's location!
Next:
Pumpkin Pie
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Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 31,872
Tempus Fugitive
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Tempus Fugitive
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 31,872 |
Mr Anders plummets from the skyscaper? onlookers gasp... it's hopeless....>splotch!< saved by the giant Pumpkin Pie cushioning his fall!
Todays gangs aren't going to fall for the old crime fighting methods. No way they'll stop for a Hostess Fruit Pie. But Lardy's up to the minute Pumpkin Pie? Take 'em away officer!
In a tense stand off, Patisserie Pete refuses to release any of the hostages! Who could possibly infiltrate the establishment in the guise of a freshly baked Pumpkin Pie?
It's tough out there! Together with Teleport Teen, Lardy pushes his powers to the max, '90s Image style, and Pumpkin Pie slices appear to all around the world! A thanksgiving gesture that unites the world, ushering in an age of world peace that leads humanity to the stars.
Next:
Funny Bone
"...not having to believe in a thing to be interested in it and not having to explain a thing to appreciate the wonder of it."
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 22,670
Fabulous and Sparkly!
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Fabulous and Sparkly!
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 22,670 |
Lardy can make a guy laugh uncontrollably when he pops a boner.
Next:
Buttered Toast
The only character in all of literature who has been described as "badnass" while using the phrase "vile miscreant."
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 85,942
Unseen, not unheard
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Unseen, not unheard
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 85,942 |
Lardy can magically create butter out of thin air, but only when he's in front of a perfectly toasted piece of bread.
Next:
Half Moon
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Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 31,872
Tempus Fugitive
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Tempus Fugitive
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 31,872 |
Legion World has been mind controlled by one of their major foes, The Flasher.
But Lardy's heroic power to resist a full moon allows him to throw off that control and save his colleagues! Whattasentient!
Next:
Pet Cemetary
"...not having to believe in a thing to be interested in it and not having to explain a thing to appreciate the wonder of it."
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Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 25,675
Gen X > Space X
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Gen X > Space X
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 25,675 |
Lardy magically generates soft, pretty, customized headstone-cozies (or blankets, for flat-markers) for the upcoming Day Of The Dead.
Not only will our beloveds Fluffy and Scruffy look good for the big remembrance feast, they'll be protected from the elements, too.
Next:
Foundation Trilogy
Last edited by cleome55; 09/18/21 10:09 AM.
Hey, Kids! My "Cranky and Kitschy" collage art is now viewable on ipernity! Drop by and tell me that I sent you. *updated often!*
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 85,942
Unseen, not unheard
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Unseen, not unheard
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 85,942 |
Lardy can reinforce and repair cracks in foundations, but only if they occur in multiples of three.
Next:
I'm Walking Away
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Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 25,675
Gen X > Space X
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Gen X > Space X
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 25,675 |
Ef-Em, the Daxamite Goddess of Classic Rock, gifted Lardy with a chain that holds a shiny electric guitar pendant. It can teleport him away from sudden danger anytime, once he plays the famous opening chords of a certain Aerosmith song, of course. Next: Medium Roast 
Hey, Kids! My "Cranky and Kitschy" collage art is now viewable on ipernity! Drop by and tell me that I sent you. *updated often!*
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 85,942
Unseen, not unheard
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Unseen, not unheard
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 85,942 |
Lardy can cook up the perfect roasted pig, he specializes in smaller pigs that can feed eight.
Next:
Woke Culture
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Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 25,675
Gen X > Space X
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Gen X > Space X
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 25,675 |
Lardy has belatedly jumped aboard the gourmet food cart bandwagon. But nobody minds. His delicious espresso yogurts and kefirs, all made and roasted from scratch, are the talk of the town!
Next:
Honda Civic
Hey, Kids! My "Cranky and Kitschy" collage art is now viewable on ipernity! Drop by and tell me that I sent you. *updated often!*
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 85,942
Unseen, not unheard
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Unseen, not unheard
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 85,942 |
Lardy can transform into a Honda Civic... that has all the powers of a normal Honda Civic. Except it can also talk. and change color. and never runs out of gas too!
Next:
Oracle Migration
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Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 25,675
Gen X > Space X
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Gen X > Space X
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 25,675 |
Lardy's intelligence-gathering skills are second only to those of a certain legendary DC hero, and he doesn't need the internet to help store and transfer the info, either. He carries it all in his head!
Next:
Trash Can Turkey
Hey, Kids! My "Cranky and Kitschy" collage art is now viewable on ipernity! Drop by and tell me that I sent you. *updated often!*
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 85,942
Unseen, not unheard
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Unseen, not unheard
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 85,942 |
Lardy can conjure up turkeys (live, cooked, raw, plush, stuffed, Lego, anything in between) but only from a trash can.
Next:
Zoom Call
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Joined: May 2013
Posts: 7,545
Wanderer
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Wanderer
Joined: May 2013
Posts: 7,545 |
Lardy knows exactly what is going to be said whenever you call him so he can hang up before you even ring.
Next:
Black Friday
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 85,942
Unseen, not unheard
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Unseen, not unheard
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 85,942 |
Lardy can create a worldwide eclipse and power outage on Black Friday. Let's see if that puts a damper on people's shopping...
Next:
Dry Eyes
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Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 31,872
Tempus Fugitive
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Tempus Fugitive
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 31,872 |
A dried husk is all that remains of the journalist who linked Lardy's moisture controlling powers with his bottled water and moisturiser empires.
Next: Cold Snap
"...not having to believe in a thing to be interested in it and not having to explain a thing to appreciate the wonder of it."
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