Legion World Forums LEGION COMPANION Spaceopoly Lard Lad's strange new power - The Game

This game has you telling the world just how Lard Lad's newest power works.

The first person names the new power. The next person the describes what the power is and how it works. And then leaves a new power for the next poster to describe.

Lard Lad's first new power is:

Dish Pan Hands

Lardy can change any object he touches into either a dish or a pan. Of course which it turns into and what kind is totally random. It may be a paper plate or bone china; it may be a cast iron cauldron or a small aluminum saucepan.

Next:
Garlic Breath

Lardy has the power to ward off vampires--and most other sentient beings--with a huff and a puff.

Next:
Selective Teleportation

This power allows Lardy to teleport people who are boring him, or possibly in-laws, to another location. The selective part means 2 things: 1) He selects whom he teleports and to where and 2)They have conveniently had all memories of the conversation with Lardy selectively removed.

Next:
Conversing with animals

This power is only activated when Lardy has achieved altered consciousness (usually by means of alcohol), in which Lardy has the ability to talk with animals and learn what others have been saying behind his back (even when he tries another line of conversation the topic invariably returns to this). No one else is ever privy to these conversations, and it remains undetectable to even the most skilled of animal telepaths.

Next:
super-wardrobe-malfunctionism

Lard Lad rarely uses this power as it only affects men's pants. However he was able to catch that male spy disguised as a woman by using this power.

Next:
Cauliflower Ears

Lard Lad can discuss beforehand with cauliflower how it wishes to be cooked prior to consumption-- via a highly specialized form of telepathy/super-hearing.

It is unknown if this power can be employed with other cruciferous vegetables (such as cabbages, broccoli, etc.)

Next:
Editorial Restraint

This power exists within him but he chooses never to use it!

Next:
Photographic Reflux

This is like photographic memory, except that Lardy vomits and the vomit forms a picture of what he was trying to remember.

Next:
Child Bearing Hips

At his command a bevy of children carring rosehips will appear, disperse their burden then disappear again.

Next:
perfect pitch

At baseball games, Lard Lad's yells insults at the pitcher's mound, and it actually causes the pitcher to win the game !

Next:
Nuclear Arms

Lardy can cause an explosion when he flexes his biceps.

Next:
Cake Walk

When Lardy fixes dessert for the potluck, small particles of telekinetic force embed themselves therein. When all the partygoers have eaten their fill, dessert puts itself away;In its own patented, covered cake carrier- to retard spoilage and to aid in easy transport.

Next:
Bedroom Eyes

Due to his frequent forays to the Hootchie Hut, Lard Lad has gained the abilities to turn any room he looks at into a bedroom.

Next:
Water on the Knees

Like a bizarrely under-developed Wondertwin, by knocking his knees together, Lardy can transform them into water in any form. Woe to him who finds himself trapped within Lardy's ice-cage knees.

Next:
Baboon Heart

Lardy has the power to cause baboons to fall in love with the first living thing they see. Do yourself a favor and make sure you never get Lardy p!$$ed off at you in the presence of a baboon.

Next:
Laughing Gas

When Lardy passes gas, everyone within smelling distance begins laughing. The closer to the source of emanation, the longer the laughter lasts, and even days later, people in the area might get a giggle.

Next:
Tennis Elbow

When he feels the need, Lard Lad can temporarily sprout a racket from each elbow. Wood or steel, depending.

Next:
Flowery Speech

By speaking the name of any flower, Lardy can call one of said flower into existence. This is very handy for those last-minute anniversary gifts.

Next:
Cinemascope

Whenever Lardy isn't certain if a nearby movie is worth paying to get into, he can will his Cinemascope into being - an undetectable external eye that can materialized only in nearby a darkened room lit only by a projected film. He can then view the film in question without paying attention.

Whenever you see Lardy sitting in the mall seemingly asleep, he's really watching something at the movieplex.

Next:
Rabbit's Foot

One of Lardy's most noble powers, upon touching a rabbit's foot, Lardy can use it to recreate the entire living rabbit, which he then lets free. Nobody is sure if he gets good luck from this benevolent act, but it must be good karma!

Next:
Wandering Eye

Lady is able to pop his right eye out of the socket. This eye then grows a pair of little legs and can scout ahead. Lardy is able to see what his Wandering Eye sees.

Next:
Silver Tongue

When Lardy curls his tongue and whistles the opening bars of the "William Tell Overture," he is able to summon his faithful steed, Silver, who invariably arrives in the "proverbial nick of time".

Next:
Penetra-Ventriloquism

Ever hear a rumbling in your tummy, or voices in your head telling you things that you wouldn't otherwise think, like 'wow, she's hot!'?

That's Lardy using his Penetra-Ventriloquism to throw his voice inside your body.

Next:
Love Handles

From Antacid Lass - If two people grab Lardy's "handles" on opposite sides, They fall instantly in love

Next -
Stretch Marks