Legion World Forums LEGION COMPANION Spaceopoly Nasty Genie

Granted. That annoying pretty-boy popstar du jour, his even-more-annoying celeb girlfriend, and 4,000,000,000 paparazzi have just arrived to take you out to lunch. Grit your teeth and wear these dark glasses and don't talk politics. Also, be vigilant or everyone'll stick YOU with the check.

I wish I wasn't out of work.

Granted. You are now the personal, hands on bathroom attendent at Fulsom Prison to the inmates on death row.

I wish I had a penny.

Granted!

That ginormous penny from the Batcave just landed on you.

I wish US politics were less adversarial.

Granted!

The U.S. is now ruled by a dictator, who quickly executes any dissidents.

I wish this genie weren't so nasty.

Granted. The genie now only does things that are all sweetness and light, fairies and unicorns. People everywhere go out of their minds and start hacking and slashing due to the unrelenting torture of niceness. Martha Stewart now Rules.

I wish hit movies had better acting talent in them.

Granted: All the extras in the crowd scenes for all Hollywood extravaganzas must now be Shakespearean trained actors. Unfortunately there's now a shortage of such actors and production on most films grinds to a halt.

I wish the next poster would post, in his/her reply in this thread, a recognizable and high resolution picture of him/herself naked in front of the White House, without anything obscuring his/her nakedness.

Granted.



Yeah, that's really me. I just never told anyone because I wanted you all to love me for my mind, not my stellar good looks.

That's a corner of the White House garage in the background. The White House cleaning staff lent me the tablecloth, but I had to launder and return it afterward.

I wish we could go out to a nice restaurant for dinner tonight.

Granted.

That's very kind of you, cleome, to use your wish on Norwegian rock band, WE . Felberg and the boys raise a glass of Akvavit in your honor as they dig into their Reinsdyrsteik.

I wish my lawn wouldn't grow so darned quickly.

Granted.

your lawn is now a concrete wasteland, incapable of supporting living vegetation. The only 'grass' is a small patch of astroturf.

I wish my thesis was written already so I could kick back and enjoy the spring and summer.

Granted.
Unfortunately, it earns an F, lowering your grade average for the term and you loose your grant monies.


I wish the world were ready for Jesus to come back.

Granted, Los Angeles optometrist Jesus Garcia-Lopez was abducted by benevolent aliens in1948 when he went into congestive heart failure while driving to San Bernardino to visit his mother, Luz. The aliens, an aquatic species from Antares, lacked the knowledge of human anatomy to operate so they put Jesus in a stasis field aboard their ship until human science had developed sufficiently to help poor Jesus. In 2011, science had advanced enough that the world was ready for Jesus' return. Unfortunately, the Antareans had returned home by then, with Jesus.


I wish I could go back in time and advise myself to avoid the mistakes I made.

Granted. You can, but a small voice in your head says maybe you shouldn't cause a paradox. Then you hear the small voice way, "oh, wait..." just before you disappear in a puff of logic.

I wish I had read all 75 pages of this game before having to create my own wish.

Granted! You read all 75 pages of this thread. As a result, the men in the white coats with the butterfly net have been dispatched to give you a nifty jacket that fastens in the back and take you to your new home with padded walls.

I wish same-sex marriage were now legal throughout the United States.

Granted, you may now marry the same sex in any state, the new requirement is that you must be of different species.

I wish there were no more hypocrisy in politics.

Granted. Sadly, with no hypocrites allowed to serve as candidates, your next ballot will feature a choice between rusted-out washer/dryer parts, a freight car full of potash, and a lawn gnome. Nobody else on Earth was both willing and qualified.

I wish I could get some good-quality, inexpensive Indian food in this neighborhood.

Granted, however it is so good and so inexpensive that there is a minimum 3 hour wait for a table or take-out. Oh and the traffic in your neighborhood is now bumper-to-bumper, horns honking 24/7 from all the people going to the restaurant.

I wish everyone from Legion World was attending this years Comic Con.

Granted! A freak virus deletes the accounts of hundreds of posters, somehow leaving only those who did attend.

*knocks on wood*

I wish we all had free working flight rings. That don't stop working suddenly, and are not lethal in any way.

Granted. Unfortunately, the shop made them all sized to fit ten-year-olds. (Because, y'know, only kids read comics and buy the related swag.) And there aren't any 21st Century jewelers who know how to re-size a flight ring safely.

I wish each of the cats would just eat his/her own damn food without whining and trying to steal whatever the other cat was eating.

Granted. Your cats have been turned into one dog.

I wish to give my wish to someone else.

Granted, the wish has been given to your most spiteful enemy, who promptly uses it to turn you into a giant bubblegum statue.

I wish the nasty genie would lose its powers.

Granted. As you may be aware, magic is only science we don't yet understand. The nasty genie's power's were encoded on a Chase Bankcard which he carried in his wallet. His wallet was lifted at the mall by none other than Jesus Garcia-Lopez, newly back from Antares and angrier than hell that his mother is now deceased and his optometry shop has been sold. He's a nastier genie than the last one.

I wish that summer could always be here, without the Earth stopping spinning on it's axis or life threatening heat occurring.

Hi Semi! nice to "see" you again, my fellow non-fully-visible Legionnaire.

Granted. A mega corporation builds a sun lamp to provide eternal summer where you live. However, prices are so high that only the truly wealthy can afford to stay there.

I wish that I could have an unlimited amount of money for the rest of my life, without having to work, commit a crime, or serve anybody - and still live to a ripe old age of 100.

Granted. You'll have to travel all the way to Eastport Plaza ("Portland's Favorite Cozy, Carpeted Mall") to claim your prize. Also, once you collect it, you must live within the confines of the mall for the rest of your century-long life.

I wish all the stuff falling apart in the house would just repair itself overnight.

Granted. A demon possesses your house. Everything's brand new, but they won't stop trying to kill you.

I wish my body were extremely sexy, muscular and attractive.

Granted. Your body is now a Porsche.

I wish life were a little easier.