Legion World Forums LEGION COMPANION Spaceopoly Nasty Genie

Granted! You will be decked out for the prom in designer Milk Duds.

Oh dear! I can't find anything pretty for his lapel! Will I do? :blink, blink:

I wish I could flirt with men like that in real life.

Granted, but the rednecks you flirt with beat you to a pulp. And that nice male nurse who was going to give you a sponge bath has been called away. Your new nurse was the former East German womans weight lifting champ.

I wish I was a librarian.

Granted. The irate patrons, low pay, general lack of appreciation and endless people who--though they expect you to have the skills and knowledge of an MD, JD, DVM, DDS, MDiv and MSW combined--ask "you need a master's degree to do that?" finally undermine whatever sanity you may have had left.

I wish I were a lawyer.

Granted, you now have to deal with surly clerks who tell you to do the wrong thing, judges who yell at you for doing the wrong thing that the clerk told you to do, stupid clients who undermine all the work you do, and other lawyers who are arrogant SOBs (regardless of gender) who'll stab you in the back. And the logical contradictions of the law make you want to sit in the corner and run your finger over your lips while making motor boat sound.

I wish my life was a situation comedy where I have zany madcap adventures but each week ends with things being alright.

Granted: You're Laverne; Shirley is a former Legion World member who has difficulty following the rules of message board games.

I wish I had a motorboat (not just an attorney running his fingers over his lips makingmotor boat sounds.)

Granted. Your motorboat sank. Have fun dredging it out of the lake!

I wish I was more flexible.

Granted. You're flexible about everything. You also change your mind constantly and can't commit.


I wish we all could have stayed in San Diego a few more days.

Granted. We all ate something bad during our last dinner and were laid up with severe food poisoning for days.

I wish we all lived closer to each other.

Granted. You all now live in the same one-room apartment and each suffer from severe halitosis and horrid b.o.!

I wish everyone at Legion World would agree to meet at Charlotte for the Heroes Con in 2009!

Granted. We all agree to meet there. Unfortunately, we can't all actually make it.

I wish Stu would post a pic of himself.

Granted. Hundreds of thousands of STU groupies (STUpies?) descend on LW, utterly overwhelming the server and causing the boards to crash forever. (You see why this must never be allowed to happen? )

I wish to be brought a delicious breakfast in bed tomorrow morning.

Granted. You are brought something exotic and unfamiliar. Though hesitant to try it, you dive in and find that you've experienced the most amazing meal you've ever had in your life! Unfortunately, when asking your server what it was you've just enjoyed, he informs you that you've just consumed--FILET OF CEEJ!!!!

I wish I could have a cameo in the upcoming sequel to The Dark Knight, which will happen and will be another quality entry in the series again featuring direction by Chris Nolan and starring Christian Bale.

Granted: Figuring he can't do any worse than in the first two pics, Nolan casts you to play Rachel Dawes in flashback.

I wish I was in Beijing with front row seats at the women's beach volleyball.

Granted. An errant volleyball strikes you in the face, making you double over in pain and scream, "Oh doe! My dose, my beaudiful dose!" A camera captures all four women's beach volleyball players pointing at you and giggling, and the image is broadcast to billions of people around the world, where it becomes an instant hit and lives forever on YouTube.

I wish I was one of the trainers whose job it is to apply suntan lotion to the women's beach volleyball players.

Granted. The Sunset Beach Retirement Community has just hired you as trainer for their woman's beach volleyball team. Be advised that Flora and some of the other gals can get quite frisky (and please don't get any lotion on Zelda's colostomy bag).

I wish a magical prince named Greshulmenthe, who's riding on a magical unicorn named Phleggomun, would come and whisk me away to a magical kingdom named Nhobeldorre where the two of us would rule happily ever after and have really cool parties where only the best magical DJ's in Nhobeldorre spun.

Granted. Of course, in the magical land of Nhobeldorre, the word "didzhei" (pronounced "DJ") means "spider". You have a party where a giant magical spider spins a web and traps everyone.

Next:
I wish I understood how romantic relationships work.

Granted. You understand how romantic relationships work. Other people's RRs. This has done nothing for your own.

Next:
I wish blondes had even more fun!

Granted !

Blondes now have even more fun, but you are immediately too old and gray to join in-- plus you're allergic to hair dye and hairpieces.

I wish I could be gainfully employed at a living wage again, somewhere that didn't stink on ice.

Granted!

You are now a phenomenally well-paid consultant in a location that smells like pleasant flowers all the time, but all your clients are slimy, despicable people who make your skin crawl.

I wish I had more energy to get things done.

Granted, you have more energy to get things done. You also have more things to get done. So many more things, it takes 24 hours a day to do it all. But you have the energy to do it. However, the lack of dreaming drives you insane.

I wish I didn't have to work and could live as comfortably as I do now.

Granted, you now not only don't have to work, you cannot work, as you cannot leave your home. Your life is total leisure, all the time, with every comfort provided for, whether you want it or not.

I wish to live on a tropical beach, with slightly more money than i need to get by, with my loving family.

Granted.

You and your lovely family are on a tropical island beach. There is a trunk full of money. The island is 50,000 square feet total. There are a couple of palm trees for shade. No fresh water though. Too bad you didn't wish for a radio or something to communicate with the rest of the world.

I wish I had a servant to make my meals for me.

GRANTED !!

Not only does your servant cook all the meals, but he's also a long-time member of Amway. This means that all the ingredients are awful, even at the hands of a skilled cook-- which this guy is not. Also, your friends get sick and tired of all the Amway sales pitches at dinner, so they abandon you and throw away your number/email.

I wish that I could entirely pay off my credit cards by 5PM today and start the New Year clean.

Granted!

Of course it's six months later and we're just telling you about this now.

I wish Guiding Light wasn't canceled.

Granted!

However, all of the actors have been replaced by alumni of porno flicks. Buzz Cooper is now played by Ron Jeremy! Reva Shayne is now played by Traci Lords! And the list goes on and on and on....

I wish Pushing Daisies would return for a miniseries reuniting all the cast, crew and creators to satisfyingly tie up the storylines.