Legion World Forums LEGION COMPANION Spaceopoly Nasty Genie

Granted. You have great wealth but you are assaulted with demands from charities and you find your fellow billionaires to be pretentious and boring.

I wish I could play the piano really well.

Granted, you can play the piano as well as Beethoven and you are now as deaf as he was.

I wish I could go back and visit other times.

Granted. You now have the power to visit either the beginning or end of time. Unfortunately, if you do, you will perish in either respective cataclysm.

I wish I were Batman.

Granted, you are Batman. Sprouting Adam West dialog and wearing the Clooney nipple costume.

I wish I had a good home computer and great plus free internet connection.

Granted. Your computer is infected with a deadly virus and used to hack into secret CIA files, leading to your arrest.

I wish I knew at 20 what I know now.

Granted. At 20 you know that middle age sucks, oil conglomerates will rule the world, and purple puce and cantaloupe will be among the hot color trends for spring 2008. Comforting, no?

I wish I would win an Academy Award (or "Oscar") next year! I'm Ready! I've been practicing my speech for years and think it's as good as it's gonna get!

Granted. Award speech time limits have decreased once again, and you now have exactly 2.5 seconds to thank your spouse, your mother, your best friend, your producer, your next door neighbor, your first grade teacher...

I wish my friend wasn't busy and could come with me to Florida during spring break.

(With a couple cups of starbuck's in me...no problemo!)

Granted. She comes and borrows all your clothes (and gets sick on them), snores like a chain saw going through concrete, and happens to be very gassy at night. Enjoy yourself!

I wish I could have a spring break.

Granted, a spring in your mattress breaks through and stabs you in the rear. This causes you to leap out of bed. You land awkwardly on your feet and break both ankles.

I wish I could have lunch with an interesting dinner companion.

Granted. Your luncheon companion is Hannibal Lecter, who thinks you look quite delicious.

I wish I had an extra room in this house.

Granted. houextraroomse.

I wish we had to vote new members in just like the Legion did. Wouldn‘t that be <strike>exclusive</strike> fun!

same old, same old . . .

Granted.

I'm Sorry, Ram Boy, but we cannot admit you into our Super-hero club. Your low score on the tests we gave you proves your powers are too ordinary.

I wish the Starbucks across the street from my house had free Wi-fi.

Granted.

Wi-Fi in all the Starbucks. Now you just have to pay the cover charge at the door- $15.00, coffee or no.


I wish the softball season started in April.

The softball season started April 1st, didn't you get the memo?

Oh and there's a spider on your shoulder.

I wish Brian K Vaughn would write a new book that I'd enjoy as much as I enjoyed Y:The Last Man, and that it would not cost an exorbitant amount, would be published monthly, would have artwork that didn't suck and ... ummm not be encased in an impenetrable shield of Lucite.

Granted. Z:The Very Last Man is amazing, cheap, beautiful and arrives every month encased in a very easy to penetrate shield of...ummm steaming monkey turds.

I wish that the upper peninsula of Michigan would secede from the Union, rename itself Uppervania, and make me it's king.

Granted. Princess Anne divorces Timothy Laurence to join you at your side as the (official) Queen of Uppervania. Condolezza Rice announces that peace has been achieved in the Middle East through relocation of the Palestinian homeland in Uppervania. Oh yeah, and lake Superior is flooding.

I wish Waid and Kitson would create a limited
Legion series that was as good as we all hoped threeboot LSH would be back in 2004.

Granted. Sadly, DC took a pass on the story and it was pitched to Scholastic. But hey, they accepted it and after a little tweaking it will be released as Timmy Turtle and the Legion of Super-Smart Reading Kids featuring Barky the Scholastic Wonder Schnauzer. Look for it at a bookmobile near you.

I wish the board hadn't gone haywire right after Lad Boy posted those explicit photos.(hmmm, coincidence?)

Granted! Unfortunately the presence of those photos made LW so popular that not only the server, but the entire Internet collapsed.

I wish when I mentioned the Legion of Super-Heroes to non-fans they knew I wasn't talking about the Justice League or the Super Friends.

Granted. And they now acknowledge the distinction with a long and whiny "eeeeeeeewww" each and every time you mention the Legion.

I wish that Rockhopper Lad would win 100 million dollars and that he'd be very generous about sharing it with those of his fellow Legion Worlders whose user names begin with the letter R , but that he'd be very, very stingy about sharing it with those whose user names begin with, oh let's say, an L.

Granted. Such affairs are handled by my Japanese assistant who has difficulty differentiating those two sounds. He sends 20 million dollars to "Rad Boy" and 64 cents to "Lam Boy".

I wish I really did have that much money to share with my friends (regardless of what letter their names begin with ).

Granted, however a whole host of new "friends" drive all your true friends away.

I wish no one needed money to live comfortably.

Granted. Now all anyone needs to live comfortably is to switch to a diet of exclusively Soylent Green. However, <span class="spoiler_containter"><span class="spoiler_wording">Click Here For A Spoiler</span><span class="spoiler_text">Soilent Green is PEOPLE! PEOPLE!!!!!</span></span>

I wish the content of my spoiler above was something more...palatable.

Granted, the contents of your spoiler is now <span class="spoiler_containter"><span class="spoiler_wording">Click Here For A Spoiler</span><span class="spoiler_text"> the Dish of the Day from The restaurant at the End of the Universe, an animal breed that actually wants to be eaten and is capable of saying so clearly and distinctly. It also has the most soulful looking brown eyes.</span></span>


I wish people were more polite and courteous.

People are more polite than . . . Darkseid and Rush Limbaugh

I wish Ram Boy would invite me to the prom.

Granted.

*nervous...with sweaty palms even*

Lad Boy, will you do me the honor of accompanying me to my senior prom? Yes, I'm 38 years old and still in high school. But my guidance councilor (she's my 14th!) says if try real harder there might be slim chance that this will be the year! You don't mind if mom drives us do you? Just remember if she does we'll have leave around noon to get there in time - she's a very safe and methodical driver.

I wish I had some snazzy designer duds to wear on my prom date with Lad Boy.(Oh, and something pretty for his lapel)