Legion World Forums LEGION COMPANION Spaceopoly Nasty Genie

Granted, and your fame causes Britney Spears to start stalking you.

I wish no one ever had heard of Britney Spears.

Granted.

She is now (and always has been) named Hortense Lipschitz.

I wish I were less neurotic.

Granted. Dr.Helmut Von Nasty has delved into your past and uncovered the root of all your neuroses...



...your bill for this therapy is $10,000,000.00

I wish I owned a 4 star restaurant.

Granted!

Now if only you had thought to wish for fire insurance while you were at it...

I wish I knew how to ride a unicycle.

Granted. You are now a unicycle aficionado with a case of hemorrhoids that would make a wildebeest cry

I wish Nightcrawler had the biggest, most powerful server available as this would enhance all of our Legion World experiences (see...I share my wishes).

Granted, however the cost of maintaining such a server requires Nightcrawler to charge us for accessing Legion World. The access fee is $10,000 per month.

I wish I had Triplicate Girl's power.

Granted! You have the powers Triplicate Girl had after her first two bodies were killed.

I wish I were omnipotent.

Granted. As of today you are omnipotent. As of yesterday the word omnipotent means short and gassy.

I wish the next poster would use his or her wish to wish for a million dollars for me.

Granted:
I made a million dollars for you, real money, not some fakey nasty genie xeroxed stuff. Unfortunately, due to recent changes in the Internal Revenue Code, you owe $1,000,000 in taxes plus interest at 5.25 % / per year compounded daily accruing as of 1/12/08.

Next:
I wish the Starbucks moving into my neighborhood would be staffed by sexy 2xist underwear models.

Granted, however they have extremely bad body odor. However you can bearly smell the body odor due to their halitosis. And Starbucks has just announced that the offical store uniform is the burka.

I wish it was warm enough so I didn't have to use my furnace.

You've died and gone to hell... and you just thought it was a Legion World gathering.

I wish I had a cup of coffee.

Granted! You have a cup of coffee grounds.

I wish I had a cleaning service to clean my condo for me.

Granted. They do a wonderful job. Everything is clean and in it's place. Um but you don't know where they put your comic books or the remote or all the toilet paper or your checkbook. And the next day, you find that they cleaned out your bank accounts too.

I wish I was the Professor on Gilligan's Island.

Granted. You are the Professor and due to a coconut famine that has hit the island the Skipper is now looking at you with great big goo-goo eyes.

I wish I was the male version of Ginger on Gilligan's island.

Granted.

You are now a Gingerbread Man running around on Gilligan's Island. And the Skipper is hungry!

I wish people would start posting to the limericks thread again.

Granted. Everyone rushes to post a limerick all at the same time. This causes the whole internet to crash. Stock prices plummet, businesses fail, infrastructure crumbles, hordes of horny men take to the streets demanding their internet porn, Martha Stewart makes a lovely pine cone wreath, and everyone knows that it was your wish.

I wish I would win the lottery with enough real money to let every Legion Worlder attend Comic Con 2008.

Granted. Every Legion Worlder attends Comic Con 2008. This causes real estate prices to plummet, businesses to fail, infrastructures to crumble; hordes of horny men take over the streets of San Diego demanding their internet porn, Martha Stewart makes a lovely pine cone wreath, and everyone knows that it was your wish.

Next:

I wish my life were so interesting that I wasn't just a little bit excited to see the opening of a new Starbucks at the end of my street.

Granted, your life now resembles the life of a soap opera character. (without gorgeous young things wanting to have sex with you)

I wish Martha Stewart would make me a lovely pine cone wreath.

Granted: You are a lovely pine cone wreath, just so you don't get too lonely, Ram Boy is a lovely cypress garland.

Next:
I wish the man rubbing against my shoulder on the bus right now looked and smelled like a freshly showered male Calvin Klein underwear model.

Granted: You are a lovely pine cone wreath, just so you don't get too lonely, Ram Boy is a lovely cypress garland.

Next:
I wish the man rubbing against my shoulder on the bus right now looked and smelled like a freshly showered male Calvin Klein underwear model.

Granted. You break your arm when everyone else on the bus push you out of the way and trample you in order to be next to this guy. A small fat balding guy with 2 inch nose hairs and reeking of garlic comes to your aid.

I wish the US presidential election system would be remade into a system that is fair and honest, represented the true will of the people, and not subject to corrupting influences.

Granted. The US presidential election system has become a fairy tale. Now we're all subjected to the will of Warren Buffet.


I wish my comic book collection had more LSH issues.

Granted:
Send me a SASE and I'll send you my extra copy of S/LSH 217.

I wish my comic book collection included a relatively complete copy of S/LSH 205.

Granted, you have a complete copy of S/LSH 205. The previous owner recolored/redrew all the characters and erased the word balloons, adding in his own dialogue.

I wish my favorite dinner was waiting for me, ready to eat, nice and warm, when I get home tonight.

Granted. Your favourite dinner is waiting for you, warm and delicious looking. You see it when you walk in the door, Belinda sitting on the table next to it. She runs to greetyou, knocking the plate off the table, and spilling your meal all over the floor.

I wish I was going to see In Brugges tonight.