Legion World Forums LEGION COMPANION Spaceopoly Nasty Genie

Granted. You have a program to translte pdf files into word documents. The program takes ten years to run and you cannot run any other programs while it is translating.

I wish Bill Gates would give me 10 million dollars.

Granted. Bill Gates has just given you 10 million dollars with the sole proviso that you don't spend any of it until 2085.

I wish for a shiny new spaceship, Nasty Genie. Nothing clunky. Oh yhea, and with AC.

Granted. You have a beautiful, sleek, air-conditioned spaceship. Now, considering how much gasoline costs these days, can you imagine how much it would cost to tank up this baby?


I wish I could travel back in time to see Richard Burton, Julie Andrews and Robert Goulet perform Camelot on Broadway.

December 15, 1960 -- you loved the show; unfortunately you were on Staten Island the next morning when this happened.

I wish I'd seed the WSC's Macbeth this season.

Granted! You "seed" Macbeth. Now all the actresses are pregnant and sue you for paternity.

I wish I had a secretary to do all my dirty work for me.

Granted:
Former Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld does all your dirty work for you, but he goes on and on about how the administrations actions in IRAQ were fully justified.

I wish I were better at editing my own postings here at Legion World.

Granted, All your posts have been editted to perfection which makes a lot of responses meaningless. This causes people at Legion World to resent you, especially as their own mistakes become glaring. Eventually you are banned from Legion World.

I wish Pres. Bush & Vice Pres. Cheney would resign effective immediately.

Granted. Bush and Cheney resign their offices immediately and declare themselves Keeng George and Vice-King Dick.

I wish nonhuman-eating aliens would make contact with our planet.

Granted. We make contact with aliens who eat every nonhuman thing on Earth, leaving the humans to drift off into space where we all explode.

I wish life were a musical comedy.

Granted. Life is now like The Rocky Horror Picture Show. And your just a sweet transvetite from transexual Transylvania. Who does your hair? Dairy Queen?

I wish there were a city on the moon AND that it had affordable hotel rates. (Ha!)

Granted! Hotel Luna boasts affordable rates. Of course, if you want oxygen, it's going to cost you extra. Way extra.

I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Weiner so everybody would be in love with me.

Granted.

Harry Everybody, who has an--unusual fascination with Oscar Mayer Wieners...well, never mind.

I wish Lad Boy and his family would buy a house in Houston and move here as in my dream last night.

Granted. Lad Boy and co. buy the house right next door. Lad Boy then turns out to be the neighbor from hell. He borrows things and never returns them. He jacks up an old 1973 El Camino on cinder blocks in his perpetually unmowed front yard. And he and his jug band play music well past 1:00 am every morning.

I wish I had a time machine.

Granted: You have a time machine, which Lad Boy borrows and leaves rusting on cinder blocks in his perpetually unmowed front yard.

I wish Lad Boy would curb his borrowing habits.

Granted. Lad Boy has curbed his borrowing "habits". He no longer borrows habits from nuns. He now just chases the nuns down, tackles them and takes their habits outright.

I wish earth had TWO moons, as I feel that would be very pretty and twice as romantic.

Granted. Earth has two moons, but it completely disrupts the cycles of life, causing chaos and madness, as people complain that there is no "night" anymore.

I wish space travel were as common as driving to the local supermarket.

Space travel is so common that everyone does it. During "rush hour" it takes 5 years to get to the Safeway on the dark side of the moon.

I wish the attractive, personable, scantily clad men would, after having taking advantage of the recent price reductions and having bought the three new homes built at the end of our street, come mow my lawn. (see previous post .)

Granted. Unfortunately, as per my wish above, you've moved to Houston and aren't there to see them.

I wish the guy I had a crush on in college, still handsome and fit after all these years, would show up at my door and pledge his undying love for me.

Granted. He is handsome and fit and has the worst case of halitosis ever. Nothing helps the halitosis. He is also on the run from the Mob.

I wish I had a magic wardrobe filled with stylish clothes that fit me.

Your magic wardrobe talks/sings with the voice of Jo Anne Worley and is filled with stylish clothes from Victoria's Secret.

I wish that only the really attractive guests in the hotel across the street would open the curtains before getting dressed.

Granted. Only ugly guests with really attractive personalities open the curtains before getting dressed.

I wish I could move to a planet inhabited entirely by billions of gorgeous LOOKING well-built men, who only wear thongs and capes, are VERY friendly, and don't eat earthlings.

Granted, Unfortunately the planet has a methane atmosphere and you asphixiate when you step off the spaceship. You are mourned by the entire planet.

I wish I could stop posting to this thread.

Granted

On 8/08/2007, you stopped at 1:22 pm for at least 1 hour 30 minutes.

I wish I could breathe methane and attend Ram Boy's funeral.

Granted. Did I mention that the low temperature of the planet is 5000 degrees farenheit?

I wish I had some more will power.

Granted. You now have power over your last will and testament. Of course, it doesn't matter until you are dead.

I wish life was as tasty as a box of chocolates (the chocolates, not the box).