Legion World Forums LEGION COMPANION Spaceopoly Nasty Genie

Granted:

At 1:18 scale, your new Z4s will be perfectly sized for any of your friends from Imsk.


I wish my father had never sold his '57 Bel Air, 64 1/2 Mustang and '65 Bonneville and that they had all been maintained in show-car condition, without, say the benefit of being encased in lucite or some other substance that would prevent me from being able to drive them, and that, furthermore, I could drive them whenever I wished for the rest of my life, which will not be ending for at least 45 years.

Granted, and to maintian them in show-car condition, you need to spend $100,000 per month on each car. Do you really think I would use the same nasty trick twice?

I wish I could have all the clothes I want in the style and color I want for free.

Granted: You look great in the new wardrobe. Those colors make your eyes dazzle. Too bad all the shirts and jackets have "Kick Me" signs permanently sewn into their backs.

I wish attractive, personable, scantily clad men would take advantage of the recent price reductions and buy the three new homes built at the end of our street

Granted. Brick, Brock and Brody, three underwear models from the Personable Male Modeling Agency have just bought the three new homes. It might be worth noting that their three psychotically jealous supermodel girlfriends, Slinka, Vinka and Evil Gretchen will be moving in with them.

I wish I had tickets to the Oprah Winfrey Show.

You have tickets to the show; the taping starts in 5 minutes, but you're on the observation floor of the Hancock Center and the elevators aren't working.

I wish Brick, Block and Brody would hurry back from the airport from which they just sent Slinka, Vinka and Evil Gretchen off onto year-long, on-location photo-shoots for feature stories in Antarctic Life magazine.

Granted, Brick, Brock, & Brody are hurrying back from the airport (they need to do some shirtless yardwork pronto) when the rear tire in their SUV blows, sending them skidding through the guardrail and into a ditch. The three are thrown from the vehicle (being too macho to wear seatbelts). They survive the crash, but all will be in full body casts for the next 9 months. It will take another 5 months for them to get back into shape once the body casts are removed.

I wish that I will throughly enjoy this last Harry Potter book

Granted. You'll enjoy it so much, every other book you'll ever read will be a majorly depressing disappointment; you'll give up reading entirely.

I wish summer humidity didn't bother me as much as it does.

Granted. You're now a female Red howler monkey from the Amazon Rainforest. Hot muggy weather doesn't faze you at all. By the way here's your mate Jo-Jo.......




I wish I had a monkey.

You have a monkey, with buerre blanc and a side of grilled asparagus. You wish you'd had the pork tenderloin.

I wish I could read the first six Harry Potter books tonight.

the sun will never rise, ever again - you have all the time in the world to read them "tonight."

I wish people got along and respected each other's diferences.

Granted.

Most posters on Legion World get along and respect each other's differences.

I wish the United States would have a national health care system.

Granted:

The Kevorkian Commission's recommendations were just passed by both houses of Congress and the president promises a signature.

I wish Barry Kitson would draw 30 more issues of the Legion of Super-Heroes.

Granted. The issues are written by Pat Robertson and Paris Hilton.

I wish McDonalds food was nutritious without anything else about them changing.

Food from McDonalds is good for you, high in fiber and chock full of essential vitamins and minerals, but you just can't seem to get over your crippling addiction for Double Whoppers.

I wish I had a fully restored 1973 El Camino.

Granted. A vintage (ha) 1973 El Camino has been fully restored right down to it's eight track tape player. Sadly, in a mysterious (hee) snafu at the DMV your drivers licence has been permantly revoked.

I wish I was cooler than cool.

Granted.

You are now frozen in the cryonic freezing unit between Walt Disney and Ted Williams.

I wish it were all easier.

Granted. Everything seems so easy for you now. In the morning, you go to breakfast and they give you your medication. Basket weaving after that. Then lunch (Wednesday is sloppy joes) and more medication. The afternoon is filled with art therapy. Then supper and more medication. After supper, you can either play ping pong or watch the Blue's Clues dvd. More medication just before they strap you in for the night.

I wish there were more fairy stories.

"Crisis on Earth-D," the multimedia, year-long consolidation of DC Comics into the portfolio of its newest owner, Walt Disney Enterprises, yields "Tinkerbell and the Legion of Super-Heroes."

I wish my comic book store would move closer to my office.

Granted. An earthquake rocked Washington DC. Damage was very minimal. In fact it resulted only in one building (Lad Boy's comic book shop) having been shifted 2 inches in the direction of Lad Boy's office.

I wish I had teleportation powers.

Granted

You can move Io one micrometer closer to Jupiter at will.

I wish the Nasty Genie would give me exactly what I want regardless of what I wish for.

Granted, you get what you want. But like all stories about wishes, you discover that getting what you want leaves you unsatisfied and regretful.

I wish life was like a movie in which I got to write my own ending.

Life is like Ishtar. You storm out of the theater of your life, requesting your money back. You write about this ending later in an angry letter to the studio.

I wish the Nasty Genie grant my wishes in the form of a Limerick.

A Genie so Nasty he pondered
To Make Lad Boy’s wishes be squandered.
- He thought and he schemed
- a limerick undreamed
Crap, I forgot the last line.


I wish to take a vacation to Newfoundland before school starts back up.

Granted, You have a room at a lovely no star motel with a perfect view of the hog rendering plant (you'll get used to the smell). Your vacation occurs at the same time as the International Yodeling convention invades Newfoundland. Hundreds of thousands of yodelers crowd ever square mile of Newfoundland. The weather remains overcast with oppressive humidity. The beaches are closed because of outbreaks of dangerous algae in all the lakes and ponds and along the coast. Enjoy!

I wish I could write a successful book series like JK Rowling.

Granted. The success of your "Larry Trotter and the..." series is phenomenal. Unfortunately, the books are a little too much like Ms.Rowlings, and she sues you for everything you've got and wins.

I wish someone would make another fantastic movie like "Brokeback Mountain".