Legion World Forums LEGION COMPANION Spaceopoly Nasty Genie

Granted, the AMT is now retroactively repealed. Unfortunately, there is such a backlog (and the really wealthy get their refunds first) that your refund isn't processed until after your death. Your children will enjoy the $120, though.

NEXT:

I wish my dog's health problem would clear up.

Granted:
Your dog couldn't be healthier. The vet bill is $6,000 with ongoing costs of $10,000 ~ $20,000 per year, but don't fret; I'll help you out as soon as I get my full AMT refund.

I wish I had a cold beer right now.

Granted, but since you're at work, you can't drink it.

I wish I had a Slinky.

ummm...yeah ... right

Granted:
You have slinky entangled in your flippers. You are the laughing stock of Antarctica.

I wish upcoming business trips were to somepace more fun than Dothan, Alabama and Kenosha, Wisconsin.

Granted, Your next business trips are to Mykonos, Las Vegas, and Rio De Janeiro (during Carnival) However, your new no nonsense boss accompanies you and makes sure that you are working the whole time. But you have a nice view of people having fun from your hotel window.

I wish I had maid service at my home.

Granted, a maid (who smells of cigarettes and cheap booze) cleans your room at your new home in the Motel 6 every other day.

I wish could read and speak Chinese and Spanish.

Granted, you've been retconned as the love child of Mao Tse Tung and Imelda Marcos. Her spanish wasn't so hot, but you have a great shoe collection.

I wish for peace in Iraq.

Ohmygod, Granted! But, Chimp Boy decides to pacify the evangelicals by invading San Fran to prevent the "Gay Agenda" from over-running this country with common sense. The Storm troopers are at your door...

I wish cheerleading would be abolished!

Granted:
Cheerleading is abolished, Glee Club is mandatory for everyone, for life!

I wish I had a box of Altoids.

Granted, only they're not curiously strong mints. Now that glee club is mandatory for everyone for life, older women whose alto voices have headed south are now called "Altoids". Enjoy them.

I wish I had more time to do the things I need to get done.

Granted: But you have no time to visit Legion World.

I wish Tamper Lad would come fix my under-cabinet lights in the kitchen.

Granted, He fixes them to be strobing black lights.

I wish I didn't have to interview in order to get a job I like and that pays well.

Granted - you're offered a job you'd really like that pays $150,000 per year. Only problem is that it's in Antarctica.

I wish we could get Quislet really drunk in San Diego in July.

Granted, you get Quislet really drunk in San Diego in July. His personality changes due to the alcohol. He becomes beligerent and wild. He steals a car and in the high speed chase crashes. He becomes a quadrapelgic.

I wish I had a working Star Trek type teleportation system so I could take that job in Antartica

Granted: you now have a working Star Trek type teleportation device but a penguin enters the molecular stream at the same time and you are left for the summer season sliding around ice flows on your belly and avoiding white sharks until the new shows of the Fall resolve the cliffhanger.

I wish I could take a few weeks off of teaching to watch the NCAA basketball tournament.

Granted, but your students keep calling during the game to ask you questions.

I wish for a $5000 gift certificate to IKEA.

Granted, The certificate is only good on Feb 31st.

I wish I had a machine that lets me watch historical events.

Granted, you have a new tv/dvd combo unit stocked with CBS's coverage of the historical Watergate Hearings. Hey, you didn't say you wanted to choose which events to look at.

I wish I had a machine that lets me watch any events that occurred on this planet at any time in it's history.

Granted, but the picture is snowy and there is always lots of static.

I wish I knew the truth about the Mary Celeste, the murder of Lizzie Broden's parents, & who the Man in the Iron Mask was.

Granted the truth about the Mary Celeste, the murder of LIzzie Borden's parent and the man in the iron mask comes to you in a dream. However, even you don't believe it.

I wish the White House would open it's doors to all the homeless people in America, and provide them with shelter during the winter months.

Granted! However, this leads to a 200% increase in taxes. Hey, not even the government has that much money to burn.

I wish for world peace.

Granted. There is no war on Legion World.

I wish life were fair.

Granted, the world is fair. Tomorrow, it will be partly cloudy with a possibility of showers in the evening.

I wish Jeannie from "I dream of Jeannie" was my personal genie.

Granted. However, Barbara Eden calls the police and you are arrested on kidnapping and false imprisonment charges.

I wish that I could work at my favorite job and still make the money I do at my current job.

Granted. In addition to your favorite job, you are also employed by the Bureau of Engraving and Printing where you indeed make the money you now earn.

I wish I had a hunky houseboy to cook and clean for me.