Legion World Forums LEGION COMPANION Spaceopoly Nasty Genie

Granted! You are now the World's Champion Tiddlywinks Player!

I wish I could play the violin.

Granted! But you are located in Soviet Russia, where violin plays you!

I wish new episodes of Futurama would be created and aired.

Granted, however they are written by Pat Robertson and drawn by Rosie O'Donnell.

I wish for a butler to clean up my apartment.

Granted! Lynn Belevedere moves in as your new live-in butler but brings that annoying little kid with him.

I wish the world was round.

Jamie

Granted! The world is now a flat disc, four inches in diameter and you are very, very tiny!

I wish Cosmic Boy would wear the "bustier" outfit again.

Granted! However, now he is called Dancing King and disappears on a galaxy-spanning tour of Discos with his partners Leisure-Suit Lord and Sequin Queen.

I wish Bendis would come write for DC...

Jamie
Just to see what y'all can come up with.

Granted! He'll be writing down what everyone at 1700 wants at Starbuck's.

I wish I were cuter.

Granted, you are now Emmanuel Lewis (He was so cute as Webster)

I wish I were more confident


(and could make sentences correctly the first time)

Granted. As your first confident act, you stand up to your boss. And are fired. Congrats!

I wish that I could spend a few extra days at home with my friends from high shool this summer.

GRANTED, you all come down with typhoid fever and are quarantined in your house.

I wish that disco music would become popular again in America.

Granted! The Ethel Merman disco album is now all that is ever played on every radio station!

I wish I looked good in a Speedo.

Granted! And you're very popular... in prison.

I wish my modem hadn't fizzled.

granted, your modem hasn't fizzled but your electricity has. good luck on the internet with no power.

i wish i could lose 10 pounds!

Granted! You'll drop a ten pound note crossing the street in London.

I wish all the libraries had enough money.

Granted! All libraries burn down and illiteracy reigns supreme, now they don't need money.

I wish I could legally drink alcohol but not be any older, nor move to another contry, nor have any kind of ill effect for myself or others.

Granted, the religious right is successful in banning the publishing of all new books that don't have their approval. Now the libraries have ample funds to acquire all 4 new books that are published each year. Readership drops and libraries don't need the staff anymore. Thus additional savings are realized on payroll. The libraires are rolling in dough. Too bad no one visits them anymore.

I wish the religious right would develop compassion.

For Caliente, since she beat me,

Granted, you have a rare disease and the pain is only alleviated by drinking copious amounts of alcohol until you throw up (thus purging the toxic build up) and pass out. A special humanitarian act of the state legislature, thanks to Shiela Keuhl (who has the hots for you) grants you a license to drink legally in a controlled environment. The therapeutic effect, far from being harmful to you, helps, but won't cure your illness.

I wish the religious right would develop compassion.

Granted, The religious right develops compassion but doesn't change their core beliefs regarding any social issues. However their more cuddly image makes them the majority party of the land. They enact everything they want.

I wish, I could reconcile my left-wing beliefs on social policy with the fact that my view on economic policy is libertariansim.

Granted, but with the religious right in control (see last wish) it doesn't matter.

I wish I could have a chocolate coconut ice cream cone like I had when I was a kid.

Granted...you can have just one of those cones, but it'll be so good, you'll never be happy with any other food again.

I wish all mosquitoes (and their eggs and larvae) would vanish from Earth and never return.

Granted. Aliens looking for examples of Earth species to put in their galactic zoo accidentally end up transporting every mosquito, as well as their eggs and larvae, to their zoo world. Oh, and they take you as their representative of humanity.

I wish I could become famous for doing something beneficial for the world.

Granted! You are able to see into the future and forecast the next Hitler, who is a baby at the moment. You kill him to save the future, but are branded a baby killer all over the press and sent to death row.

I wish there were more green m&m's in each pack.

GRANTED! However, the size of each pack has been reduced to about 1/10 the size of the original.

I wish I could travel around the world without spending anything.

Granted, you are accidentally trapped in the wheel well of the Discovery when it takes off on it's next mission. In fact, you travel around the world several times. Unfortunately, you don't survive because of the cold and lack of air.

I wish to win a stateroom for a free cruise on the Queen Mary II from New York to London.

Sure, wish granted, you're just a bit unlucky though that your boss is jealous and will sack you with immediate effect and badmouth you to all and sundry while you cruise if you take the time off.

I wish I were taller!