Legion World Forums LEGION COMPANION Spaceopoly Limericks

The frisky boy went on vacation
Where he met a voodoo priest Hatian
They danced 'til dawn
On the hotel lawn
Much to the guests' consternation.

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I went a sailing upon the sea

I went a sailing upon the sea
Schroedinger's cat likes sailing with me
or maybe he doesn't.
He was and he wasn't
in his box, so where can he be?

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Prick your thumb on a rose that is thorny.

Prick your thumb on a rose that is thorny
Offered to you by actress Sigourney
But clot up the blood
With a pack of mud
Lest you make all the vampires horny.

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Drag your butt right out of that bed

Drag your butt right out of that bed
Rise and get to work instead
Some money to earn
Which later you'll burn
Be happy, at least you're not dead.

NEXT: Add some more lime to that vodka, my dear

Add some more lime to that vodka, my dear
On this cold blustery night, we need some cheer
Come snuggle with me
My sweet honey bee
Under this blanket there's nothing to fear.

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Drink a glass to Scotty, my friend

Drink a glass to Scotty, my friend
His would be the first elbow to bend
Don't forget the man
named James Doohan
Sadly, all good things must end.

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What is it about life

What is it about life
That causes so much strife
If there's a pill
For all that's ill
I'd give it to my wife.

(Sorry for the blatantly misogynist tone - I was just going for a facile limerick.)

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Why do ladies smell so nice

Why do ladies smell so nice?
Charms wafting as to intice,
me to chase
around this place.
I'm a victim of my vice.


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On an early morning lovely.

On an early morning lovely
I woke to see above me
his smiling face.
Then without a trace
He left. Now, who will love me.

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If time can heal all wounds,

If time can heal all wounds,
It can make the word gazounds
A legitimate rhyme
Because over time
New words will be made, one foreswoonds.

NEXT: I sat and I talked to the porcupine

I sat and talked to the porcupine,
And everything was going fine,
'Til we got in a fight
(He was wrong, I was right!)
And I wound up with quills in my spine.

NEXT: There once was a girl from Orando.

I sat and I talked to the porcupine
of what to drink and where to dine
of his fare
I wouldn't dare
to eat except the berries most devine.

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A girl with a bright blue ribbon

There once was a girl from Orando
Who went to live in Orlando
A beauty she's not
She works at Epcott
Where she impersonates Marlon Brando.

A girl with a bright blue ribbon
Had a face like an African gibbon
When she went to the city
They all said she was pretty
But you know they were really fibbin'.

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Bury me next to my old Chevy II (two)

Bury me next to my old Chevy 2
when my final days are through
till then i will smoke,
perhaps have a toke,
and certainly get drunk with you!!!


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Upon the rolling hills of Avalon

Upon the rolling hills of Avalon
My shining armour I did don
And ride upon my noble steed
I serve the king and peoples need
To usher in a glorious dawn.

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Down to Atlantis I did swim

Down to Atlantis I did swim
a trip made on a whim
In an underwater glade
I spotted a mermaid
But she turned out to be a him.

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On a hike to Shangri-La

On a hike to Shangri-La
I sang a ditty, la-te-da,
"It's all the rage
To never age
Always younger than my pa."

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With John Travolta I did dance

With John Travolta I did dance
for some reason with no pants
though i'm not gay
i really must say
it certainly felt like romance!!!

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Upon Europa gazing at the stars

Upon Europa gazing at the stars
I thought I'd left my raincoat back on Mars
But rather than
Go back again
I headed for my favourite Jovian bars.

NEXT: They're back again, those jellyfish

They're back again, those jellyfish
Between my toes - Squish, squish, squish
Floating on the waves
Among the sea caves
But please not in my chafing dish.

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Up high in a hot air balloon

Up high in a hot air balloon
With a girl from southern Kathoon
From dusk til sunrise
Her strength will surprise
Unless, of course, there's a full moon.

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Parting is such sweet sorrow.

Parting is such sweet sorrow
Said the maid to dashing Zorro
He's off to fight
For what's right
But I'll be in his arms tomorrow.

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A good dream is like a bubble

A good dream is like a bubble
Flying up above the Telescope Hubble
But when your dreams pop
You'll find that you'll flop
If you sleep in class you're in trouble!

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A beautiful expanse of green

A beautiful expanse of green
Leaves people restless once it's seen
That it needs mowing
And spot seed-sowing
The lawn police on me did lean.

NEXT: On Monday morning I awoke

On Monday morning I awoke
to a house full of smoke
my children did boast
to making the most burnt toast
to them it was all a big joke.

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As I contemplated lunch