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Re: Limericks
#385247 07/11/05 08:51 AM
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 7,723
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There is a price to be paid
If you want to get laid
By a hooker
Who's a looker
Else just settle for the maid. smile

NEXT

Standing atop of old Smoky

Re: Limericks
#385248 07/12/05 05:29 AM
Joined: Jul 2003
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Standing atop of old Smokey
I did the "love" Hokey Pokey
With a real cutie
A Ranger, off duty
Who quickly agreed "Okie Dokie!" wink

NEXT:

In response to your request


"Hey Jim! Get Mon out of the Zone!! And...when do we get Condo back?"
Re: Limericks
#385249 07/12/05 06:05 AM
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In response to your request
I promise not to be a pest
Okie Dokie
Do your pokey
I'll just observe your love fest.

NEXT

Wee Willie got in some trouble

Re: Limericks
#385250 07/12/05 06:51 AM
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 57,030
strange but not a stranger
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strange but not a stranger
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Posts: 57,030
Wee Willie got in some trouble
when betting on the daily double
He shouldn't have bet
On the nag "Hasn't Won Yet"
His swag lasted like a soap bubble.

NEXT:

Mary liked to skip to the market


Big Dog! Big Dog! Bow Wow Wow!
Re: Limericks
#385251 07/12/05 08:34 AM
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 7,723
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Mary liked to skip to the market
To purchase a brand new jar kit
She'd drive no car
E'en though it was far
Becasue it was too hard to park it.

NEXT:

An ancient wizard said to me

Re: Limericks
#385252 07/12/05 01:27 PM
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 16,860
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An ancient wizard said to me
In what sounded like poetry
Something else else of note?
Perhaps a quote?
It was all Greek to me, you see.

NEXT:

It was on a summer day steamy


Holy Cats of Egypt!
Re: Limericks
#385253 07/12/05 06:10 PM
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 7,723
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It was on a summer day steamy
That I ate an eclair so creamy
It ran down my chin
All the way to my shin
But who cares, since it was so dreamy.

NEXT:

The stevedore gave me the eye

Re: Limericks
#385254 07/13/05 08:24 AM
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 57,030
strange but not a stranger
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strange but not a stranger
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Posts: 57,030
The stevedore gave me the eye
And I had to ask him why
It had been pluck
from a guy out of luck
Said he "It's a gift I didn't have to buy."

NEXT:

While sitting in the town square


Big Dog! Big Dog! Bow Wow Wow!
Re: Limericks
#385255 07/13/05 09:31 AM
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While sitting in the town square
A barber shaved all my hair
What a sight
I was a fright
For now my dome was all bare.

NEXT:

She likes to burp and scratch her tum

Re: Limericks
#385256 07/13/05 09:54 AM
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She likes to burp and scratch her tum
She says it makes her happier some
"It itches there!"
Said without a care
Perhaps because she was drinking rum.


NEXT:

It was a dark and dreary night


"Hey Jim! Get Mon out of the Zone!! And...when do we get Condo back?"
Re: Limericks
#385257 07/13/05 10:44 AM
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 7,723
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It was a dark and dreary night
So I turned on every light
To banish the gloom
From every room
And keep the vampires out of sight.

NEXT

My brand new sock has got a hole

Re: Limericks
#385258 07/13/05 11:02 AM
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 57,030
strange but not a stranger
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strange but not a stranger
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My brand new sock has got a hole
I think it was caused by a mole
I've lost the mate
It must be fate
But my shoes are the ones with soul.

NEXT:

It happened one Thursday afternoon


Big Dog! Big Dog! Bow Wow Wow!
Re: Limericks
#385259 07/13/05 12:19 PM
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Posts: 7,723
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It happened one Thursday afternoon
I was riding high upon a loon
I was bored
So we soared
And ended up upon the moon.

NEXT:

The Moody Blues give me a thrill

Re: Limericks
#385260 07/13/05 01:04 PM
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 3,611
Legionnaire!
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The Moody Blues give me a thrill
I have them on 8-track tape, still.
For Nights in White Satin
While touring Manhattan
I think I'm still paying the bill.

NEXT:
Baseball's my favorite sport

Re: Limericks
#385261 07/13/05 01:16 PM
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 57,030
strange but not a stranger
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strange but not a stranger
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Posts: 57,030
Baseball's my favorite sport
on the diamond I cavort
the roar of the crowd
makes me proud
when the pitcher's no hit streak I thwart

NEXT:

A naughty boy I have been


Big Dog! Big Dog! Bow Wow Wow!
Re: Limericks
#385262 07/13/05 03:05 PM
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A naughty boy I have been
To my sister I was mean
I washed her hair
With mother's Nair
Now her scalp has quite a sheen.

NEXT

I took my doggie for a walk

Re: Limericks
#385263 07/14/05 05:16 AM
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I took my doggie for a walk
Sometimes I wish that he could talk
My question would be
Why every hydrant we see
Requires that we sniff, spray, and gawk


NEXT:

I would love to fly into space


"Hey Jim! Get Mon out of the Zone!! And...when do we get Condo back?"
Re: Limericks
#385264 07/14/05 06:05 AM
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 7,723
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I would love to fly into space
Say goodbye to the human race
They always fight
Can't see the light
No wonder there's a fall from grace.

(Nah, I'm not depressed. smile I have no idea where that came from. - maybe London frown ))

NEXT:

If I could shine and be the sun

Re: Limericks
#385265 07/14/05 06:24 AM
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If I could shine and be the sun
I'm sure I would do it on the run
Provider of Light
Opposed to the Night
I'd do my best for everyone.


NEXT:

Taking you out for a night on the town


"Hey Jim! Get Mon out of the Zone!! And...when do we get Condo back?"
Re: Limericks
#385266 07/14/05 06:31 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,735
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Taking you out for a night on the town
we'll line em up and drink em down
then drunk on the street
you tripped on your feet
and now you look like a clown


NEXT

it is very dry upon the moon

Re: Limericks
#385267 07/14/05 08:30 AM
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 57,030
strange but not a stranger
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strange but not a stranger
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Posts: 57,030
It is very dry upon the moon
It dried up much too soon
How can it be
That there is a lunar sea?
Maybe I should just go to the saloon.

NEXT:

I came upon Mom and Dad


Big Dog! Big Dog! Bow Wow Wow!
Re: Limericks
#385268 07/14/05 09:02 AM
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 11,656
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I came upon Mom And Dad
And it caused me to yell out "Egad!"
They were busy, you see
Enjoying they're own company
And now I have nightmares real bad!


NEXT:

The life of a monk is quite stoic


"Hey Jim! Get Mon out of the Zone!! And...when do we get Condo back?"
Re: Limericks
#385269 07/14/05 09:14 AM
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 7,723
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The life of a monk is quite stoic
Some thing abstinence is heroic
They kneel and pray
All night and day
Egads! it's so Paleozoic.

NEXT

You're a monkey, oh yes you are

Re: Limericks
#385270 07/15/05 07:22 AM
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 57,030
strange but not a stranger
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strange but not a stranger
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Posts: 57,030
You're a monkey, oh yes you are
and in the jungle you'll go far
But on certain nights
amid the bright lights
at the circus you are the star.

NEXT:


Lying on my back I saw a cloud


Big Dog! Big Dog! Bow Wow Wow!
Re: Limericks
#385271 07/15/05 07:43 AM
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 40,644
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Posts: 40,644
Lying on my back I saw a cloud
In the shape of a horse, noble, proud
But it gave me a start
A fluttering heart
'Cause damn, that horse was well-endowed!

NEXT:

Sipping coffee at midday

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