Legion World Forums LEGION COMPANION Spaceopoly Limericks

I got this idea from the Victorian Flirting Thread.

It probably won't even make a second page.

The idea is this:

I provide the first line for a limerick, you make up the other 4 lines, then provide a new first line for a new limerick. (for those who don't know, a limerick consists of 5 lines. The 1st, 2nd, & 5th rhyme with each other and the 3rd & 4th rhyme with each other.)

Hint: end the first line with an easily rhymable word. The idea is to create limericks, not stump the other person


So my first line is:

There once was a boy from Scotland

Who had never been to a hot land
So he got in his car
And he drove very far
Until he was mired in hot sand.


Next one (this is fun and I think it will appeal to those who frequent the Make a Sentence thread, as well as others):

I once knew a dandy named Randy

He had the serious hots for Andy
But oh, such cruel fate,
Andy was strait,
And was totally infatuated with Mandy


They called her a total ice queen

For ne'er with a beau was she seen
Her standards were high
And no man caught her eye
Until she met bald Mister Clean.

Next one:

Tickle my nose with a feather

dress me up in some leather
take me to the scene
call me a fetish queen
but don't talk to me about the weather.


Next:

When on a trip to New York

I opted to sail out of Cork
the weather was bumpy
the staff, they were frumpy
and each dinner they served us cold pork

Next:
It was a dark and stormy night

At Sarge's you don't ask for pork
The latkes are swell
And the matzo as well
So don't let them know you're a dork.

Next:

I floated in upon a cloud

Kent, you usurper!

My hair was a mess and a fright
I ran out of gel
And looked just like hell
So I kept me out of the light.

Next:
I floated in upon a cloud

(we used to 'bump into' each other's thread often last summer, I recall.)

As I arrived, all were wowed
But my arrival did fizz
when Mick said it was his
His "Hey! You! Get off!" was quite loud

Next:
There once was a man from Rome

Whose beer had a big head of foam
He licked his lips
In between sips
And after a few he went home.

Next:

I met an old man on a hunt

You might say that he was a runt
With dagger in hands
He'd leap from tree stands
It was quite an amazing stunt

Next:

She looked at me with such scorn

That I wished I'd never been born
My pants had been ripped
My fly was unzipped
And she'd had a peek at my horn!

Next:

I wrote a message to my love

And sent it in a box with a dove
But the box was air tight
Oh what a sight
And then I was given the shove.


Next:

There once was a vicar in London

Who reeked like a 12 week-old onion
He refused to bathe
Or shower or shave
And the stench sent parishoners runnin'

(London is hard to rhyme, Quis!!)


"The locals all knew of Jolene"

She dressed herself up like a queen
When she was down
She'd put on her crown
And parade into town to be seen.

Next,

Into the clouds I did float

Into the clouds I did float

And dragons there I did smote
When I was a child
my imagination ran wild
but now they call me an old goat.

(note to Brainiac 5: you did an excellant job rhyming "London")

Next:

A young girl went a dancing


(edited to add first line from the previous page)

To find a beau for romancing
But to her dismay
They all were quite gay
Ignoring her while they were prancing.


A lawyer named Joseph O'Hare

[Responding to "A young girl went a dancing"]

At a hip hop club in Lansing
But a run in her hose
And two broken toes
Made her moves look more like prancing.

Next:

I tasted honey upon my lip

[Braniac, you beat me to it.]
[Responding to "A lawyer named Joseph O'Hare"]

Took a case upon a dare
The evidence was slim
And the outcome was grim
For the client who had lost all her hair.

Next:

I tasted honey upon my lip

And tried to make a witty quip
I felt a sharp crack
Across my poor back
For Honey had brought her good whip!


A virtuous lass named JoAnne

Set her sights on a virtuous man
But she was in for a shock
When that guy named Brock
Threw her over for virtuous Stan.

Next:

The judge had an itch on her chin

The evidence was quite thin
the jury retired
their deliberations mired
but the defense still expected a win.

Next:

While sweeping up the school yard

but the Bailiff was as blind as sin
So the prison in the dock
got sent to the block
and the Executioner did some choppin'

Next:

While surfing on the internet

Kent beat me to the punch

While sweeping up the school yard
John found a bunch of report cards
There were some 'A's & 'B's
in the subject of geometry
But John saw that calculus was quite hard.

Next:

While surfing on the internet

I met a chick named Yvette
Her manner was nice
with no hint of vice
but she could be Alex Trebec.

Next:

There was a man from Pawtucket