Legion World Forums LEGION COMPANION Spaceopoly Rock, Paper, Scissors, Escalation

NOW shows up for the inauguration dressed like the "New, Improved" Mary Marvel, and is forcibly disbanded by the FCC.

The FCC is attacked by thousands of people who didn't realize that the digital TV switch was going to affect them.

As part of the stimulus plan, phase III, President Obama issues a new digital TV to everybody in America.

President Obama's TV giveaway causes Americans to go insane en masse from the endless barrage of painfully bad half-hour infomercials. In the ensuing riots, the U.S. Government is overthrown by angry mobs and a triumvirate of radio pundits assumes nationwide rule.

Pharmaceutical giant, Eli Lily, introduces Calmestra, the first FDA approved drug that totally cures insanity. The riots end, order is restored and the pundits are sent packing.

Calmestra is pulled from the market after a large number of people report to their doctors that they experienced calmness lasting over four hours.

Calmestra is renamed Clamestra, repackaged / repositioned and returned to the market by an unscrupulous alliance of medical and bartending lobbies.

Medical and bartending lobbyists are so restricted by the Obama administration that they can't raise enough money to be unscrupulous.

The Obama administration is forced to loosen up on the medical and bartending sectors in an effort to numb the nation senseless.

The benumbed nation awakens from its drunken/stoned stupor after accidentally stubbing its collective toe on a billion sentient pet rocks.

A billion sentient pet rocks fall out of fashion in favor of a billion sentient Rubik's cubes.

The billion sentient Rubik's cubes are totally ignored when an angry Dancing with Stars contestant takes Cloris Leachman hostage.

The hostage situation is brought to a satisfying close on live TV with the timely intervention of three dozen zombies in SWAT gear. (Millions cheer.)

The three dozen zombies are made short work of by a half-crazed Ash armed only with a chainsaw hand and a "boomstick".

Ash gets life for the "murder" of Zombie Quesada, thanks to a corrupt judicial system.

Corruption of the judicial system ceases when market value corrections for the assets of all organized crime and other influence peddlers reveal that no one has enough money to buy a judge any more.

Judges circumvent reform by agreeing to be paid in Antiques Roadshow merchandise.

Cancellation of Antiques Roadshow invalidates judges' agreement.

The all Tea and Crumpets Network fills the gap caused by the gap using the British version of Antiques Roadshow.

Ooo look at that exquisite Royal Doultan figurine.

Advertisers pull their support from the Tea & Crumpets Network when they unwisely name their newest show Tea Bagging with Chauncey and Emma.

The network makes millions after hiring "comeback kid" Vanilla Ice to compose and perform their hit theme song: "It's A Tea Party, Baby."

Unfortunately for Vanilla Ice, while composing "It's A Tea Party, Baby", he chose to sample the following songs without giving credit to the original composers -

"Help!" by The Beatles
"Tambourine Man" by Bob "Mumbles" Dylan
"Stairway To Heaven" by Led Zeppelin
"Cannonball" by The Breeders
"I Love You" by Barney
and
"Happy Birthday" by "Rockin'" Mildred J. Hill and "Rollin'" Patty Smith Hill

A particularly miffed Barney went on a rampage and ate him.

Barney's gambling debts cause him to be "laundered" by the Mob's dry-cleaners.

*One Year Later*

The Mob's "cleaners" run out of "detergent".

Dark Rockhopper Lad seizes control of the world's detergent supply!