Legion World Forums LEGION OUTPOST Mission Monitor Board The Tobacconihilist Smoke Shop

<blasts it; a scorch mark appears on the floor, but it is gone>

Damn! Did you get a glimpse of it Sharky? I have no idea what it is.

Ugh, maybe we all should have a drink?

Is anyone else's omnicom going off like crazy today? Don't know they we're busy?

I wouldn't mind a whiskey or a cigar, myself. Seems I got a stake in this too, since my memory is missing.

Ahem. I'm awful sorry 'bout that sucker-punch Shark Lad.

<looks behind the counter>

Sorry, T-hawk, no whiskey in this smoke shop... oh wait... I do have some cognac!

<pulls out a bottle and four snifters>

Have at it guys. Now... Jailbait Lass, I believe I owe you an explanation...

It all started a year ago, on, as many things do, an island .

Having made my fortune by partnering with Big Tobacco, this place that we're sitting in was paying for itself. I decided to venture that profit by branching out into a long-standing passion of mine: holo-vids. We planned this thing for months. Every last detail was accounted for...

...every detail, but one.

Him.

<continued....>

Yes... you know who I mean.

Among those 12 people out on that island, there was one who stood out by virtue of his raw charisma. One who, without speaking a word, could win the whole place over.

It was Lard Lad .

And win he did .

I knew then that I hadn't seen the last of that kid. And when the time came to talk Legion World elections, there was only one thing I could do:

I hitched my wagon to that guy I knew could take it all the way .

<continued....>

<taking notes>

Keep going, Exnihil...I do hope of course this is leading somewhere to do with all the recent attacks...?

<eyes Sharky>

(Sharky won't make it through this long monologue; Tomahawk is already too busy smoking his cigar and sewing up his boots or something to be paying attention)

<back to Ex>

When did you first meet and become aware of Cobalt Kid, whom you reportedly tried to assassinate under the control of the Second Shooter?

Easy does it, JB... like a fine cigar, a fine tale must be taken in slowly...

It was then, however that I began to lose it.

Money, I had... thanks to The Tobacconihilist.

Fame, check... thanks to the success of Survivor:Marzal.

But, Political Power? This was the golden ring. With Lardy in as my puppet candidate I knew that I would soon be on the road to easy street. But what if he didn't win? I had to ensure that didn't happen.

[cliche]I fear I went quite mad for a time.[/cliche]

It was then... at my most vunerable when I began hearing things. It wasn't my imagination... it was real... but inside my head. I can help... he said. He gave me the idea. He said the one person that might stand in the way of a sweep was a person who over time had been sometimes friend, sometimes enemy to Lard Lad... Cobalt Kid.

<continued....>

<taking notes>

(here we go...)

<sips cognac>

(UGH! This stuff is gross! No wonder I'm not a big drinker)

<politely puts cognac to the side near Sharky's glass>

No one would get hurt, this mysterious stranger said... it was just a harmless "Penetra-Ventriloquism" dart. I was to stand in the crowd as Cobie was making his announcement and, at the key moment, fire the dart. Then he would be ours. We would control the content of rest of Cobie's speech, I intended on having him issue an endorsement of Lardy's campaign.

But just as I fired... that's when I saw him. On the grassy knoll... the same one who had approached me...

The Second Shooter!

What did he look like, Ex? I need details! Height? Weight? Hair color? Race--as in Native planet?

[aside to Shark Lad]By the way, it does seem like several crimes were in progress almost voluntarily, but I'll forget about those for the moment so long as we get some more information...[/aside]

I don't... I... it's not that easy... I...

All I can remember is that he was garbed in a purple cloak.

I later told Lardy that he was a member of an elite cabal... the Time Trappers of Legion World... but... I don't know... I was in a panic... for a time I even thought it might be STU!

All I know is that the one name that keeps ringing through my head... like the hourly chiming of a grandfather clock... is...

"Justin Thyme"

<picks up Jailbait Lass' glass>

(it ain't chum but it'll do)

<chugs the cognac>

(hmmm, Lolita seems to think Tomahawk here is alright. He's already apologized twice for that sucker punch. Still there's something about him that doesn't seem right ...)

<turns attention back to Exnihil but starts to feel dizzy>

Say, I think there was something in that drink ... I don't feel so ...

<falls with a thud to the floor>

<Exnihil looks down at the fallen body of Shark Lad as, slowly, his eyes narrow and an evil grin crosses his lips. He turns to Jailbait Lass to speak, but the voice that issues forth, though similar to that of Ex, is hollow and distant>


No, no, Lolita... don't try to get up.

Oh, did I say cognac? Well... yes... but laced with just enough Rarkuga poison to render the three of you incapacitated while I made my exit.

I'm sorry... but if this fool Exnihil had his way, he'd already be behind bars. Wandering around Legion World telling that story to anyone who would listen? That's no way to behave, is it?


<walks toward the counter, stepping over the snoring form of Tomahawk, who also had taken a drink>


That's OK, Lolita, I don't expect you to answer. I know your throat must be rather tight right now. But still... the thirst for knowledge, eh?


<takes the bottle of cognac and pours it across the counter and surrounding floor>

<picks up the stub of a cigar that Tomahawk had been smoking and with the ashen end scrawls the words, "JUSTIN THYME" on the wall>


You just want so badly to know who shot Cobalt Kid, don't you, my dear?


<reaches toward the words he had written in ash and wipes his hand down the middle, leaving only the words, "JUST__ ___ME">


Choke... the irony.

Well, I'm afraid this is where we say our goodbyes


<pulls a cigarette from the display case and lights it. For a moment, Exnihil's eyes clear, as though waking from a dream>


No... not my shop... please


<his eyes narrow again>


Oh, Ex, lonely is the road of the Traveller. We still have work to do. Come, come... this is a Smoke Shop and where there is smoke...


<drops the cigarette into the pool of cognac>


...there's fire.


<walks out the door as the flames begin to spread>

<on the floor, completely drugged and passed out, by Shark Lad>

Ugh...

<stuck in her chair, barely able to move>

...j-just...a sip...and still so potent...but...at least...have some...movement...

<strugges to move body from chair, her eyes glazing over, but falls to the floor, flat on her stomach and chest, her head hitting the boards; now she lies flat, with Shark Lad and Tomahawk>

...no...not like...this...not helpless again...

<a lone tear rolls down her cheek, as she recalls her other most terrible moments of helplessness: buried alive by the Red Bee, leaving a broken, scared shell of a woman. Then again, captured by the Red Bee and placed inside a refrigerator, on the verge of death, only to be saved by Space Ranger, who then died saving her, leaving her with an enormous guilt>

...please...not like this...<suddenly, her throat is unable to make words any longer>

(can't speak...Oh God, its getting worse...need to do something...the fire is Shark Lad's great weakness...it was Exnihil all along. There is no 'Second' Shooter, there is only the one shooter, first and second. Exnihil shot Cobalt Kid. Exnihil is Justin Thyme, or at least under his control)

<but she overcame it all; she was able to pull it together and become an official LMBer; the world changes and we must change with it>

<rolls over onto back>

*cough*

*cough*

<tries to get to omni-com, tries to call Cobalt Kid, but cannot move arm>

(...that's it then...its over...)

<still lying on the ground>

*cough*

*cough*

(...Cobie...never told you...how...I feel...should have...told you...years ago...when we used to...be so...intimate...)

<looks at Tomahawk and Shark Lad, moving eyes, and realizes that if she dies, they die>

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
NO

*cough*

*cough*

n-not...just me...at stake...

<suddenly realizes what to do>

<span style="font-size: 6px;">CAFFEINE</span>

* and she dissapears *

<'ports in from Security Office >

Hm--smoke is thick!

<blows hole in shop's roof to vent smoke>

There they are...Shark Lad, Tomahawk and a few other patrons.

<concentrates, causes all occupants to 'port outside while he remains>

Funny, don't remember knowing this trick before...

<exits through hole in roof, encases the shop in a tight Lard Force Bubble which puts out the fire by depriving it of oxygen>

<building collapses under the pressure>

Sorry, Exnihil...you'll rebuild, guarantee it. <says to himself>

Now, to help the victims...

<when responders arrive moments later, Prime is giving the victims first aid>

Here Sharky...a little water flow in your gills should revive you...

*cough*

*cough*

Th-thanks big fella...not sure what happened. Suddenly everything went black...hopefully someone in there remembers...

*cough*

I owe you a drink, pard.

Three loud Orange streaks plunge out of the sky. Their wide open throttle boot jets roar as they land in a perfect triangle facing outward. They each touch belt studs and scanner lights begin to play across the tableau spread out in front of them.

"Orange 2 download and record scanners. Orange 3 set a radar field and scan for incoming and outgoing traffic."

Orange Agent Alpha 1 strides through the dust stepping over the rubble while speaking to his comm device.
"We've arrived Boss, The place is a mess, it looks like it imploded. Crap everywhere."

OA1 looks to Lard Lad Prime and surveys the prostrate LMBers laid out on the street. Speaking to the only hero standing Agent1 informs him that backup is enroute, "Boss is using my 'vette. He's right behind me. What do you need? Casualties? Is everyone out? Do you need me to call for transport to Medicus?"

Sentient, I think you and I have a few things to discuss...

You're Lard Lad but you're not the Lard Lad I've known for the past few months...


Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(My Head hurts...)

*cough*

what the sprock happened? where's Lolita? Lard? Lard, is that you?

<struggles to get up>

Wait ... you're Lard, but you're ... you're not Lard ... Rao, what was in the drink?

I got to get back to the Security Office ... I need some serious tank time ...

INUK-CHUK!

<channeling the power of the Shark Beast Avatar, SharkLad vanishes>

3G reaches for his com. He's thinking 'Crap, I hate magic'. It buzzes as he snaps it off his belt. "Alpha Orange-1 sir. The Shark guy just teleported out."
He spies the clustered figures, "I'm there."

Roaring in in the corvette mini transport 3g slides to a stop and steps casually up and over the side snaps open his comm as it buzzes again.

"Boss? Delta Orange-1. Something else else just zipped into the building. The field blipped and the generator registered a power surge."

3G replied to the Agent, "Good. That should be Shark Lad. Send #3 inside. See if he needs assistance." The Giant paused to look at assembled group of meta humans. "Engage the teleportion field scrambler..and turn it up."

Snapping shut the comm and sliding into the holster the giant moves toward the others.

That, Space Ranger, is because the "Lard Lad" you've known for the past few months is a fraud! I am the real deal!

Is it so hard to believe? He's breaking the law left and right all over Legion World--I just saved several people from burning to death in a fire!

I honestly don't understand why people believed him! Hell, when I died...<points to his face>...I looked like this--battle scars from my battle with Mordru. I still look like this! I've seen the campaign posters--he didn't even get the look right!

I bet he dooesn't even have these...<rolls sleeves up above the elbows>. These are Mordru's handprints burned into my flesh as we grappled in the Clench!

<shrugs> I'm the real Lard Lad, Ranger...are you going to allow me to help you?

bzzzt
bzzt
bzzt

Dammit. Who's calling now?