Legion World Forums LEGION OUTPOST Mission Monitor Board The Tobacconihilist Smoke Shop

Well, hello there, new neighbors!


Just moved in about a week ago, and was strolling through the neighborhood in search of a good smoke shop. I ran into a fellow by the name of Cobie, who said that although there was a dearth of Tobacconists around these parts, the real estate costs were quite reasonable should a young entrepreneur want to set up shop.

Say no more.


Without further ado, I give you: The Tobacconihilist


Catering to the discerning taste, we offer a wide range of sweet Coluan pipe tobaccos, Orandan snuffs, and... due to a special trade arrangement with certain contacts in the UP... a heretofore unheard-of selection of fine Khundan cigars.

So... whether you fancy yourself a late 30's Bruce Wayne type, or an alternate future adult Brainiac 5... stop by, have a chat, and always, smoke 'em if you've got 'em.

:psst: Aren't Khundian cigars illegal?

Let's just say that a certain Mr. "Anton R." owes me a favor.

Nice place ya got here.

Do you have any Carggite trigars?

Yes, but only with the preboot wrappers. A couple years back they were rebranded, "infigars".

Hey, do you have Prince Evillo in a can?

There's a "fag hag" joke in there somewhere.

I was thinking of the British use of the first term, with Mysa's role in the Evillo story for the second part.

nothing like explaining a joke ot make it spring to life.

I got it, but used it as a springboard for my own poor one... which apparently went, as well, in the can.

Anyway... time for a smoke!

I'll say!

smoke em if you've got em!
[Groucho Marx aside] And believe you me, Exnihil's got em! Where he got em at this hour I'll never understand! [/Groucho Marx aside]

Got any of those old bubble gum cigars that you could puff powdery "smoke" from?

Ah, memories...!

Hmmmm... perhaps, in my private collection... ah, yes, just the thing, sir:



Be forewarned, however, the surgeon general has determined that refined sugar may be hazardous to your health.

Like all great characters that have a healing power, I indulge cigars, and of course, my very own special pipe.

I'll take some of that Khundian mix. It reminds me of a Khundian Princess I used to date. Man, she was a heavy cigar smoker, but she sure had good intel on Khundian politics. Relnic always said her people would have never went to war if I'd kept her honest, but hey, he always was a pessimist.

I only smoke certain special cigars.

I'll give some of that Coluan stuff a try. Nothin' like a nice briar to top off the day!

sometimes a cigar ... is a really huge phallus ...

<splash>

Yes... a pungent, burning phallus.

...that can give ya cancer!

I'm a hard-core non-smoker. Have you anything in a bubble pipe?

I'm a hard-core arse-man. Have you anything in a bubble butt?

<splash>

Strangely, I do, but considering that this joke is from 1998...



...I can't guarantee the freshness.

Sorry for bumping my own thread, but...

I just read L3W... and I need a smoke after that!

Do ya know the Marlboro Man? Friend o' mine.