Legion World Forums LEGION OUTPOST Mission Monitor Board Cobalt's Office of Security - the 80's Power Years

but more importantly, is it a pool day?

all kidding aside (which I very rarely condone), where is Cobie in all this? Do we have his side of the story?

<splash>

Apparently, Lolita was giving us Cobie's side of the story. I think her crush on him has become something far more intense.

Lard Lad while you and I have never met, I've heard quite a bit about you, all of it good and most of it from Cobie. I'm curious about something however...

How were you brought back to life?

Miner, I'm me. I know I'm me. And I'm worried. I remember dying.

Who or what brought me back and why?

And to all of you, I'm staying right here until Everyday Girl releases me...


Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(I don't want to have to fight the little girl with the big swords...)

You really are the "Spaced Ranger." More than a few people call you that you know. You get some crazy idea in your head that "This is the right thing to do" and nobody or nothing can change your mind.

Fine, do the right thing.

You're going to wind up dying a second time, you know. Cobalt will use you and throw away your lifeless body when he's done. You know it. I know it. And I think your brother and his granddaughter also know it.

You may not believe me, but I want to see you win this time...

That's...complicated. An algorithm was programmed with my personality. Some time after I died, the algorithm appeared, claiming it was programmed to fill the void left with my passing. As it posted more and more on the Legion World message boards, anomalies began to happen that seemed to be tied with its posting. The board kept going down, posts were wiped out of existence. And when the algorithm's post count hit 4000, I appeared, completely amnesiac, in the algorithm's place.

Since then, I've undergone extensive tests of all kinds to verify my identity and regained most of my memory...with the exception of a two-and-a-half to three-year gap. My memory's perfect up until the time I got wasted at the LMBP Ranch. The last thing I remembered was sleeping with a woman I thought was Hummer Lass. I'm told this was actually Mordra and that she stole my powers that night thru the sexual act. My next memory is defeating the Computer Tyrant and dying reigniting the central powersphere...thanks to Cobalt....

Who created this algorithm/resurrection method? Well, it seems that my wife Dru--still can't believe I married Whordru and don't remember anything about it--she apparently worked, with or without me, on a failsafe designed to bring me back if I were to die. We believe this because there was definitely magic involved in the final phase. We think someone else engineered the algorithm itself. We thought it was Doctor One, but he says he wasn't involved. In truth, all of this is mostly speculation as no real record was left.

Also, I don't look like I did when I died. Apparently, I'd been in a fight with Mordru--one that I won--but my face and arms were scarred, and my eyes and hair left devoid of pigment. When I was reborn, the scars were gone and the pigment returned.

All I know is I'm certain that I'm me, and all the tests across every spectrum confirm I'm right.

Does that help, Ranger?

<bows his head>

They told me I gave my life to save Cali...that I had a vision that she was going to die reigniting the powersphere.

<looks up>

They said I was in love with her! And I...

<chuckles slightly>

...I don't even remember knowing her.

Crazy, huh?

Not crazy... Love is never crazy. Whether it's your love for someone or their love for you. Sad that you've lost your memory of that love.


The part about Cobalt sealing you into the power-sphere I can't accept as fact without some fairly strong corroborating evidence. I'm going to investigate your claims once I've cleared up a few things about my status.

But I've got to warn you... It's highly unlikely that either matlock or Everyday Girl haven't already extensively investigated your claims. If there was anything to find, they'd have found it.

But you have my word that I will both review their investigation and conduct one of my own...


Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(And we'll see where that takes us...)

I doubt they have looked into it, Ranger. Britney's a real Cobalt hero-worshipper, these days. And Matlock--he's pretty much been conspicuous by his absence for quite a while.

In any case everyone I've went to in an authoritative position has been dismissive of my claims. They either think I'm an imposter, despite all the evidence to the contrary, or that I'm an out of my head whackjob.

But your words are comforting, Ranger. Can't say I've gotten that from any of my so-called friends.

I didn't say I believed you Lard Lad, although I believe you believe you're telling me the truth.

I said I intend to investigate with an open mind.

And I doubt Britney is as much of a Cobalt Kid "Hero Worshiper" as you believe, Under all of the "Ohmygod, Valley Girl Nonsense" she spews she's extremely sharp.


Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(Underestimate her at your own peril)

<enters, glares>

So...'father'...I was told you'd applied and been accepted for reinstatement!

I'll have you know that in Faraway's and Nova's absence I've registered the Leadership Office's disapproval of this action to the Heads of Security! Yes, they are an independent body, but our words may hold sway yet!

If I have MY way, it'll be YOUR ass in an adjoining one to this so-called 'Space Ranger'!

You are BOTH imposters and threats to Legion World! I'll prove it or DIE trying!!!

Your "Son," Lard-Lad?

I think I need to hear about him.


Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(Children should be seen but not heard.)

Ohmygod!

Clive! You may be like Deputy Leader, but you're way like out of line here.

Lard-Lad, I don't know where you got the idea that being reinstated as a Security Officer was a matter of filing some paperwork.

Security Officers are appointed for life.

You died. Your appointment ended when you died. Just like Unc... I mean Space Ranger's did.

But Space Ranger willingly submitted himself to an extensive battery of tests to verify he is who he claims he is.

You've never done that.

You want to be fully reinstated? Fine!

Change places with the Space Ranger, undergo the testing process. Not just the psychoanalysis, the whole gambit of tests.

Then I'll take your claims more seriously...

Brit, did you investigate?

And if you didn't why didn't you?


Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(And if you did...)

Ohmygod!

I'm like sorry, Unc... I mean Sir... or Mr Space Ranger... I don't know what I'm supposed to call you at work...

But like I'd rather not discuss an open investigation in front of two of the persons of interest to that like investigation.

Can we like have this conversation in your like office?

Brit, that's already been done. I can show you the location of the files that document it. You really haven't done your homework, have you?

When I came back and passed my tests, my legal status was officially changed from "deceased" to "alive" after Shady and Doc One signed my papers. Therefore, that automatically changed my Security Officer status back. I asked to be on detached medical leave until just resently, hence the reinstatement papers.

Brit, bureaucracy obviously isn't your strength here in the Office. But check, and you'll see everything is on the up-and-up.

In any case if you feel the research wasn't thorough or a test overlooked, I'd be happy to undergo any you'd suggest.

<appears again, conspiciously>

Ranger, just so you know -- I want you to invesitgate it too. All of it. You and I both know Matlock would never sit by and let this hang out there, but you should have the chance to get your own opinion too. But when you're ready, his file is available. I will never hinder your path, because if you are who you say you are, then I've needed something to believe in for a long time like the days of old.

And anyone who calls Everyday Girl a 'Cobalt worshipper' is so far in the dark they don't what up or down is. EG and I have earned each other's respect and trepidation on various occasssions. There's no automatic anything--other than the benefit of a real analysis. That's why she'll one day be the best Security Chief of them all.

I'm sorry Lardy. What this will all reveal will not be easy on you. But one day, when you feel you have nowhere else to go, I'll be there. And we can talk then. You'll hate me, I know; but you'll remember you love me too. And I'll be there nonetheless...

<angered>

Surely, YOU Cobalt, don't believe this sham is the real thing! YOU?!?!?

He's a FRAUD, Everyday Girl! I'm sure he'd pass any test you throw at him, but I know it in my gut! Lard Lad would NEVER turn on Cobalt Kid--NEVER!!!

And THAT's all the evidence I need!!!

Shut the hell UP, Clive!

<to Cobalt>

What's in Matlock's file, Cobalt? <in his face> Does it explain why you KILLED me?

Again with the melodramatics... <shakes head slowly>

Cobie if you have something to tell us, Tell Us!

And Lard Lad please refrain from making any more accusations until you have more proof than "Because I said so."


Lard Lad I haven't gone thru everything yet, but it appears that the Hospital focused most of their efforts on determining whether or not you were sane, not whether or not you really are Lard Lad.

I sat in that cell until everything was done because I chose to. I won't ask you to do the same thing but I will ask you to undergo a series of tests.


Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(At least one of the tests is multiple choice)

I'm thoroughly confused ... can someone please tell me who I'm supposed to bite on the arse ... in the name of security of course ...

<splash>

<throws chum to Sharky>

Wish I could old friend, but I'm at a slight loss as well...

Ranger, I have nothing to tell. You'll find it all in the files. I can tell you this:--

<looks him in the eyes>

I'm innocent of all these accusations, I swear it. On our friendship.

<keeps looking in the eyes>

You'll see various sworn testimony here and there, but I'll fill in any detail you ask. I have declined doing so thus far, because I felt I owed that to no one. But to you, old friend...sure, I'll do it. But I've offered all apologies and explanations long past, and I'm done doing so.

Investigate old friend, but I have little to say in advance of your doing so. But when you're done, perhaps we can talk of different things.

Poor Lardy. I will not be the one to tell you

<scrolls thru files>

Ah, yes...

<to Ranger>

Yes, these files may be a little more helpful. In any case I'm willing to submit to more as I've already stated.

<back to Cobalt> Enough with the innuendo!If you've got something to say, SAY IT!!!

<smiles>

I say you've deserved this rest old friend, but it pains me to disturb it.

I've got nothing to add to these accusations. They're obvious lies, heresay and gossip.

If the Ranger were to decide I was wrong, who would I be to argue?

But you, LardLad. You...you are quite different indeed. Because if are who you say you are...you would remember...

[whisper] Omnia mutantur nos et mutamur in illis [/whisper]

Its okay Lardy, I'm here for you.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
<turns to Ranger>

You know me well enough to know I'll never make it easy. I've nothing to add yay or nay. Decide yourself. But we both know I'm innocent of all these charges.

<turns to Lard Lad>

And there was a moment where you almost threatened Jailbait Lass. From a friend to another--don't ever do that again.

Lard Lad... Anthony... There are several ways to fool a simple DNA scan.

Do you trust Crujectra? How about Doc One? And Saturn Girl?

Come back tomorrow... We'll put an end to this.


Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(I need a good night's sleep)

Omnia mutantur nos et mutamur in illis? Means nothing to me!

<to everyone> I yelled at Lolita but never did or never would hurt her! She's frustratingly and blindly loyal to him. I, for one, would never want someone's blind loyalty!

<to Cobalt> Can't you see? You are the only one who can, and most assuredly will, hurt her! Of this, I'm sure...