Legion World Forums LEGION OUTPOST Mission Monitor Board Cobalt's Office of Security - the 80's Power Years

Considering the fact that "Impersonating an Iconic Dead Hero" is right at the top of the all time list of trumped up charges, I'd say, Yes.


Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(Wish I'd thought of it years ago.)

Well now Boyo, even if you're the real deal... Which I seriously doubt... when you break out we won't have to "Trump Up" any charges now will we?

Fine, we'll do this your way. But sooner or later I'll be back in my office.


Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(and you'll be relegated to cleaning the coffee pot and pretzel maker.)

They've got to have something to sell to tourists at hyper-inflated prices, don't they?

<enters>

Hi, My!

<turns to Ranger>

Look, I've been on detached leave from the Office since my, well, my own resurrection. But I've put in my reinstatement papers.

I'm on your side. Having been distrusted and abused after I came back, I know what you're going through.

I'm gonna get you outta here and do everything within my considerable power to help you find out what happened to you. And I refuse to let them treat you as they did me!

Ohmygod! No, Mr Lard-Butt I don't think your going to like do that.

You can take your like insane crusade against Mr Cobalt somewhere else.

Right now I like really need to find out iif that really is my Uncle sitting in there.

So you've got like three seconds to leave here before I like turn No-One and Nobody loose on your Lard-Butt.

Brit...


Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(Holy Sprock!!)

This isn't about @#$%in' COBALT, Brat! This is about one of Legion World's greatest heroes being treated like GARBAGE!!!

Ohmygod! Just Shut UP!

<Faces Ranger>

I don't know who you are yet!

But I'm gonna find out!

And if you're some poser playing games You'll regret ever being born!

<Turns to Lard-Lad>

Nobody! No-One! Code Gamma Alpha 7 - Secure this area! Get Mr Lard-Butt out of here!

<repels them with a gesture>

Look, I'll leave for now. But I'm still an Officer, here, Brit. So I'll be around.

<to Ranger>

I'll be here for ya.

<leaves>

Brit, I understand how big a shock this must be for you. Abin feels the same way, I think, he just walked away from me without saying much...

I'm sorry kid. But, I don't know what's going on either...

I remember dying. And then I remember walking in here the other day like nothing had ever happened.

That's why I assigned Caliente to investigate me. That's why I went along with pushy little sword girl when she busted me this morning. And that's why I'm gonna stay in here, for now.


Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(Kid's gotten pretty tough since I been gone.)

Ohmygod! You don't know how much I want to believe you.

But I held your dead body and cried my eyes out.

And I buried you.

And now I'm afraid to go and look at your grave to see if there's a body in there. But I'm going to have to do that, because that's my job and you taught me to "stand tall and proud and always remember that Truth and Justice are what really matter."

Mr Whoever-you-are, I tracked down the Red Bee and brought him to justice after he murdered my uncle. I made sure he was alive to face the truth of what he did.

I did that because the Space Ranger taught me that's what hero's do. They fight for what they believe in. And they do the right thing just because it is the right thing.

I pray you really are Uncle Bart. Because you have no idea how much I miss him. So, when I find out for sure you are I'll be the happiest girl alive!

But if I find out you're not him... If I find out you've been playing me...

<enters quietly>

Hello Space Ranger. Its been quite a long time. Obviously, all of this fuss is understandable.

I'd like to talk to you a bit, just to see if we can piece together where you've been and if you are who you think you are. And I do think you think you're Space Ranger. You're memory seems to jive correctly. But that doesn't mean you are.

Because if you are, I owe you a great debt of thanks for rescuing me on the day you died. And for that, I want to help you.

Jailbait? Mmm... It's Lolita, right?

Look, I don't know anything more than what I just told Brit.

I don't know how or why I'm alive.

I don't even know where to begin looking for answers.

Ask anything you want. I'll answer as best I can.


Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(I need matlock on this one he's the Ace Detective)

Have you ever had a bromance?

<splash>

I don't know what a "Bromance" is Sharky.

So I doubt I've had one.


Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(Does wanting to own a ceej count?)

Any towel snapping episodes?

<splash>

Only one... He actually recovered very quickly, considering...

Look! I had no idea he was going to turn around. It was just bad timing...


Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(And anyway... it wasn't anything big...)

You want something big, you can take a ride on my dorsal fin ...

<splash>

<Vee quietly enters the door to the Security Office, obviously carrying something behind his back.>

"Who's the duty officer today?" he asks "I'm here to see for myself whether or not your prisoner is truly the Ranger."

I believe Sharklad was on duty, but he wasn't feeling well. He may have eaten spoiled chum.

In any case, feel free to test the "Ranger."

Many of us are quite interested in what a test might show...

Yes, very...

Ranger? Is it really you? With so many people questioning whether it is or isn't, I had to come and find out for myself.

And forgive me but because of all the questions and concerns I've brought something that only the real Space Ranger would recognize.

<Pulling the box he had kept hidden behind his back into view, Vee opens it and pulls out a glimmering gold object.>

Tell me Ranger, what is this if you know?

Vee, I know what that looks like... but it can't be the real thing.

It looks like the Golden Dildo of Taltar!

But it can't be the real thing because the real Golden Dildo of Taltar MERGED with the Emerald Dildo of Ekron to form STAR 69.


Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(and that one is too small to be the real thing, trust me, I know.)

Yes it did! This is a replica. But I knew that if you were our Space Ranger returned from the dead, you would recognize it while an imposter wouldn't. Welcome home Ranger, you have been sorely missed my friend.